Contemplation: Negaduck

(Please note that this is in Negaduck's head. He isn't talking to anyone and is very aware the reaction his actions have on others. Also this will jump around quite a bit since Negaduck is only thinking and not putting his thoughts in order or any particular way.)

White. All he could see was white. It was also very bright here. He had to shut his eyes every few minutes due to the light.

After Darkwing had pulled the universal plug, he hadn't been able to make it to the doorway. Instead he was trapped. Trapped in a pure white world that was emptier than Mickey Mouse's head. It appeared that he was the only one in this place. He now felt lonelier than when he had first entered the Normal-verse. Considering that there was nothing here to occupy him, Negaduck let his thoughts wonder…

Negaduck's POV

I hate those blasted idiots that I was working with as leader of the Fearsome Five. They should know by now not to question my orders. I told them not to throw Dorkwing into the blasted cake. Just like my idiot sidekick, Launchpad. He hardly listened to me either. He's not as stupid as Darkwing's Launchpad though. That guy was stupid. My Launchpad didn't make nearly as many mistakes. He could get the job done when he felt like it. Launchpad was the only who seemed to get the fact that I hate anything cutesy. That I prefer skulls to hearts, killer Dobermans to lost bunnies, destruction to construction, congress to progress. I never had to worry that he would turn on me. And from what I heard, the minute I gave the order to kill Darkwing, he had jumped at it.

But why? Why did he do my every order when all I do is get angry at him? I know he isn't stupid. Dumb, yes, not very bright, granted, but not stupid. He always jumps to do what I want. I believe that if I told him to jump off a cliff, he would do it without thinking. But I haven't ordered him do that. Why? He's pissed me off enough times and yet I always forgive him. I don't think there was ever a moment when I actually thought of hurting him. I've insulted him enough and know that hurts him but he always bounces back, more resilient than before, more eager to please me. Kinda like those stupid Muddlefoots. They don't pay much attention to their son, Tank, but I can see that if he's pointed in the right direction, he'll be more dangerous than his little brother. I'll never understand Launchpad's relationship to the Muddlefoots. They all seemed to get along great, must be their destructive nature, and never got me involved. Did I want to be involved in their little gang? No, of course not. Still, I don't think I ever belonged to any group. When I was in school and St. Canard was still peaceful and all, I never had any friends or even teacher-type friends. I was outed as the class weirdo. I had a higher IQ and a bigger ego. I know I'm egotistical mostly but I know when to call it a day. Unlike Dipwing. He always had to have the last word and didn't know when to quit. I, at least, know when to hightail it to save myself.

None of my class understood that I just didn't care about their feelings. Why should I? they were just there until the end of the year and then they were gone. I never thought about them for longer than a second and that was only if they got in my way. The only one to change that was Launchpad. Now that I think about it, he's always been there. Like a thorn in my side, but without actually being annoying. I can remember the day I met him. I had just transferred to his high school, St. Canard High School. I was a sophomore and he was a senior. I was running late since I couldn't find the damn classroom and sorta ran into him, literally. I fell down and he remained standing. Though I kinda knew it was my fault, I blamed him. He just looked at me and took it all in stride. He didn't say anything as he helped me up and just looked at me. I remember getting angry, since he had yet to talk and was pissing me off. I glared back at him and he continued to look at me, almost uncaringly. He then opened his mouth and said that I had dropped my hat. I turned to look and sure enough my trademark red fedora was on the ground. I picked it up and dusted it off. When I turned back to him he had already started walking away. That made me angry but I didn't persue him. I left and finally found my class. It was actually just letting out and I decided to go to lunch.

In the FOWL Cache, I was waiting in line and spotted him again. I overheard a girl ahead say that his name was Launchpad. That marked the beginning of my history with him. I couldn't take two steps without him being near me. He was kind of like a guardian angel. If someone pissed me off and I wished them ill, more often than not, the next day they would be beaten to pulp. I had no proof that it was Launchpad at the time but I would get it before the school year was out.

I know I'm evil. If I wasn't I wouldn't like death and destruction much. But one person thought they were more evil than me. Herb Muddlefoot, junior and top of his class. He believed that I was just joking when I told him to go jump off a cliff and make everyone's life easier. His girlfriend, Binkie Goosele, agreed with him. When he pushed me in the Cache, Launchpad immediately jumped in. That surprised everyone. This was the most popular student in school. No one, except me, went against him. He was also apathetic to most things, except me. He always did everything he could to make my life easier, more pleasant, and not as frustrating. When he jumped in, Herb and Binkie looked surprised. They were also popular, 2nd only to Launchpad, had a great amount of friends and had each other. I didn't know what he said to them, due to everyone whispering around me but from then on, I had my own little gang. They did what I said, when I said it, and Launchpad never let Herb and Binkie go against me. If they even thought about it, he probably would've taken them down. After Launchpad graduated, I was left with Herb and Binkie. They apparently were working on his orders to keep me safe, as if I couldn't protect myself. Though later I was glad for their help. I can only think of one person I was scared of, and that was my father. He was bigger, stronger and more evil than me. He also never let me get away with anything. If I went against him, I'd find myself on the ground. It wasn't as bad as most would think. He never hit me more than once for a "crime". He never hit my mom, I actually think he was scared of her, he even never forgot anything important to me or mom. He wasn't true evil, but he taught me everything I know, I always wondered, though, if he taught me everything he knew. But one day when I came home from school, with Herb and Binkie in tow, I noticed that there were emergency vehicles outside. The police said my dad had gone crazy and killed my mom. I knew that wasn't true. My dad would never raise a hand against her. If my mom wanted to live in a mansion, then that was what she got.

I was placed with a foster family for awhile, Herb's parents of all people. They were nice but I had to get my dad out of jail and back with me. My gang and I knew he was innocent, but we needed proof. We found it when we went to see Principal Hooter, later known as Director of SHUSH. Hooter had always lusted after my mom, even a baby could tell that, and had decided to take matters into his own hands. When mom refused, he had her killed. My father had found out and tried to stop him, only to be blamed. Though I tried to rescue my father, I was too late. Hooter had already had him killed from the inside.

Launchpad, Herb and Binkie, all tried to comfort me. I didn't want comfort, only revenge and had it planned to a T, when school let out for summer. I was going to enact it in my senior year, but by that time Hooter had left for SHUSH. Without my gang, I was alone. People thought they could pick on me. Well, I proved them wrong. Even with no backup, I managed to make a name for myself. I became the one person everyone followed because they feared what I would do to them. Well, almost everyone. One person refused to follow me and that was Elmo Sputterspark. He would never do anything evil, he believed in the goodness of everyone. It finally got my nerves and I ordered Ham String to do something about him. I later found out that he tied him to a treadmill and pretty much electrocuted Elmo. I also found out that he become Megavolt, leader of the Friendly Four. I had pretty much given one of my enemies their powers. That would never happen again, I had thought at the time, but then my followers had been ordered to stop Bud Flud from trying to shut down a few of the factories that ran under my name. he had been thrown into a vat of contaminated water and became Liquidator, another member of the Friendly Four. I had to thank my lucky stars that no one under my command had anything to do with Bushroot and Quackerjack, the last two members of the Four.

Thinking about Launchpad makes me realize how much I need him. I've never thought of needing anyone, but he can make me lose my cool and regain it faster than anyone. It reminds me of my dad and mom, they both said that was the way love works. But I don't love him… do I? I had always hoped to have someone to love, like my parents. I guess I found that in Launchpad. He was always there, never leaving me and always protecting me, like my dad did for my mom. I guess I really do love him but does he love me? If I ever get out of here, I'll have to ask him.

That reminds me of Gosalyn. She was brought into my care when her grandfather died and named me her guardian. He had told me that he didn't want Hooter to have her, she wouldn't have survived. But why did he think that she would survive with me? I tended to either hurt or kill those that made me mad. Yet now, nearly a year later, she was still alive. Like Launchpad, she pissed me off but I don't think I've ever actually thought of hurting her. She went against me more often than anyone and yet I never did anything to her. Insult her, yes, hit her, no. She was always there, like a thorn but without pain. Launchpad caused me pain, but wasn't very annoying, whereas Gosalyn caused me to become annoyed but didn't cause pain. Did that mean I loved her as well? Maybe, I couldn't think of a time when I wasn't grateful for them being there. I hated being alone and now with them, I never had to be. If I could get of here, I wouldn't let them go. I know I'll keep insulting them, that's part of my nature, but I don't want to hurt them. I can't believe I never thought of any of this before. I must have needed to be completely alone to realize that I needed them…

(End Negaduck's POV)

Negaduck sighed and sat down. He really needed to get of here and get back to his family. He wished with all of his heart to escape when there came a flashing light. Negaduck covered his eyes and groaned as he felt himself fall on something hard. He opened his eyes and looked around, not believing it. He was back in St. Canard. He stood up and grinned. He was home. Now all he had to do was prove to Launchpad and Gosalyn that he was back and loved them both dearly. He took off in the direction of home.

END