When all else fails, smack him over the head!!!!
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls, however, the voices in my head say otherwise.
AN: Okay, so if you haven't read the summary, here's what this story is about: It's someone's birthday, but that someone doesn't want anyone one else to know. Especially Lorelai. Because I'm pretty sure whenever we all think about Lorelai, one word always come to mind; Crazy. Which is how she will get after finding out about this persons birthday. Who's birthday is it? Well, I would tell you, but I really don't feel like it. Read and find out if you want to know. Although I'm guessing most of you already know who it is.
Chapter 1: Drug Addict
Lorelai walked into her all time most favorite diner, and plopped down on one of the stools at the counter. Luke stared at her in disbelief. "What?" She asked innocently.
"Did you seriously just drive here from Taylor's candy store(AN: Sorry, I don't know what they named that store)? The store that is located right next to where we currently are???
"Well, yeah. What did you think? That I was going to walk? 'Cause let me tell you buddy, I've been walking all day. I even had a nice little conversation with my feet this afternoon. They were all like 'so, when are you going to stop walking already?' and then I was like 'I'll stop when I'm done with everything' and then they were like 'but we're tired' and then I was like 'well sorry, life gets tiring' and then they threatened to do something really bad, and if anybody asks, it wasn't me who kicked Michele." Lorelai ranted.
"You kicked Michele?"
"No, my evil feet did? They warned me, but I just didn't listen."
"You need to see a psychiatrist or a therapist or some kind of doctor that deals with mental cases like you."
"Oh, no, silly, I'm not a mental case!" She slapped him on the arm. "I'm a drug addict! Wake up and smell the methamphetamine!"
"The scary thing about that is I can't tell if you kidding or not."
"Oh, come on. Do I look like a drug addict? And if you say yes to that question, I swear, I'm never speaking to you again."
"Is that supposed to be a threat?"
Lorelai acted offended. "Yes! Because your life would be devastating without me in it."
"Yeah, you right. I don't know what I'd do without some crazy lady coming in here every day, bugging the hell out of me, talking incredibly fast, giving me a headache, and then forgetting to leave a tip after all I've been through."
"Hey, the tip is your fault. The service here is awful. Half the time I come in here, your off serving someone else, so I have to go behind the counter and serve myself, and then you come over and yell at me and everything."
"Okay, first of all, never go behind the counter, and second of all never go behind the counter!"
"Whoa De 'ja vu!"
"No, I mean it. I keep telling you to stay in front of the counter, but for some reason, you don't understand."
"Oh, I understand. But if you don't do something about the whole service thing, I will choose to ignore it."
"Alright, fine. We'll play it that way. I'll just choose to ignore you then."
"Hey!"
Luke walked away, doing exactly what he told her he would do. Lorelai looked shocked.
"What's about my coffee???" She asked pathetically.