Percentages

A/N: Yeah. I've ventured into Ouran. Scary. It's a drabble-ish thing. Probably overdone. I just wanted to get it out. Biology 100 is good for something.

This is written in Kaoru's point of view, first person.

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Identical twins are formed by the breaking of a bond.

Identical twins are formed when the connection between two identical cells, zygotes, is severed. The cleavage is microscopic, nothing more than a small defect within a woman's womb, but the results are immeasurable. Who can say what life would have been like if it had been 'I' instead of 'us'? Certainly we would not have been as twisted. Perhaps we would have made friends.

That thought in itself is terrifying. Not the friends, no, but the fact that there would be no 'we'. It seems strange to think that we could have been the same person. One complete, normal, functioning human being.

But which of us was the original? Which of us was that original convening of gametes? Which of us was the true expression of our parents' genes?

Certainly both, you might say. You are identical, after all.

If we were fraternal twins, I might be inclined to believe this. I would force myself to believe that we are equal. That we are both complete. But I know better. I know that there was an original. I know that the cell replicated for the sole purpose of growth, and that the zygote was meant to be a two-celled structure, then a four celled structure, then an eight celled structure, and so on, doubling until be eventually became a human being.

I find it ironic. Our bond is so strong. The connection between us is seemingly infinite. And yet, in the womb, the cell junctions failed in keeping us with one another. The first separated from the second, and 'I' became 'us', and 'you' became 'everyone outside of us'. 'Our world' was formed, a comfort of the womb created after birth.

Hikaru was the first.

No, his being the elder has nothing to do with this. My being the younger, and acting the weaker..

Hikaru is the first. I am an extension. We are both incomplete because I was not capable of holding on. I am the weaker of the two of us, of course. Not emotionally--emotionally I far surpass Hikaru. But is it because of Hikaru that I am able to keep my head.

The replication and division of cells supposedly splits everything equally.

Yes. He and I have the same number of chromosomes. We are approximately the same height. We switch clothing whenever we please. Physically, I am not lacking.

I am not complete without my brother. Together we are one whole entity.

But I do not make up half of this equation. I am only a small percentage of this whole. Hikaru is nearly complete. There is a small space within him that needs filling, a space into which I would gladly pool myself.

Without him I am a vast expanse of... nothing. I am empty. A void.

It was I who left Hikaru in the womb. It was I who betrayed him--made him incomplete. My selfish individualism hurt him. So I will devote myself his entirety. We are a set, and yet complimentary. Two of the same yet completely different things.

But I've seen the truth. The truth that that small expanse within Hikaru can be awash with someone other than myself; with the only other person who can tell him for him, and not us.

Neither of us like the 'Which one is Hikaru-kun game?' anymore. It is pointless. The purpose of the game has been negated.

It is Hikaru's turn to leave this time. And once again I am unable to hold on. I can feel my fingers slipping with each step forward Hikaru takes.

Hikaru will be absolutely overflowing. Nobody can take his place, though. I will remain empty, so that he can feel whole.

I will remain an unfulfilled husk for his happiness.

And thus, my own.

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wow that was angstier than expected. Thanks for reading.