A/N: Yu Yu Hakusho, here I come!
This is a two-chapter story featuring Youko Kurama, Yomi, and Shura. (Not all in one relationship, don't worry. Although that would be interesting.) The way I view demons is that they have about 90% less inhibitions than we humans do – so things like homosexuality, incest, promiscuity and dangerous situations do not bother them at all. Live it, learn it, and love it, my friends.

Please review!

Of Kitsune and Demon Lords

Hook, Line, and Sinker

x

A small hand crept up into Youko's own larger one and grasped the tapered fingers childishly. "Will you be my mommy?"

For the first time in his life, the fox spirit was caught completely by surprise. This wasn't like a theft, where danger and traps were expected and even welcomed for the pure challenge and bolt of adrenaline. This wasn't anything close to one of his many lovers turning over in bed and claiming pregnancy, weeping tears - and boy, was he tired of that, since the males tended to do it too once they realized what a perfect catch he was. No, this wasn't even close to the mild surprise mixed in with a slight dose of shock raced through his human counterpart when Yuusuke had claimed that he had proposed to Keiko even with his phobia for commitment.

This...was different. Weird. Odd. Unusual. Just...ugh.

His being mistaken for a female was a common occurrence in villages that hadn't heard the legends of the King of Thieves that stole from even the most powerful of kings and demons. The ones that had heard of him were so scared to death that they locked up their doors and slammed the windows shut if even a glimpse of silver hair and white clothing was seen - he'd heard the stories of innocent youkai prosecuted for simply looking like him. The regions that hadn't heard tell of his exploits - as few and far between as they were - had men and women propositioning him right and left for a good lay. Or a hand in marriage, they weren't very picky. Hell, even in the places where the death penalty was a given for the haphazard demon with silver hair he had men and women lusting after him. He was a kitsune, after all, and a beautiful one at that. Flowing clothes, silky hair, piercing eyes...who wouldn't go for him? He was quite a catch, and he knew it. Especially since he - like most foxes - didn't differentiate between gender in a relationship. If the prospective partner was sexy, handsome, beautiful, or just plain pretty, he'd snatch them up like a magpie to silver.

But to have a child - and the clearly recognizable offspring of a demon lord at that - ask him to parent them? Well, that was new.

"You do know who I am, right?"

Shura nodded, his hair rustling smoothly over his little horn. "You're Mommy."

Youko blanched. What shit had Yomi been feeding into his kid's brain? Shura had been cloned from the demon lord; everybody knew that.

But… a thought snuck into his mind unheeded. Then why doesn't he have the same horn structure that the ass has? Yomi never had that singular horn as long as I knew him and I knew him since he was only a small child. He was my apprentice, after all, so I was able to see him grow up. His hair wasn't this light, either; Yomi's is a solid jet black and Shura's…seems to be lightening every time I see him. It's actually a dark gray in the sunlight now.

Reaching out a hand, he absently fingered a few strands of the kid's hair before he realized what he was doing and quickly flinched, pulling his arm back as if burned.

"I am not your mother, kit. I am a thief, and a dangerous one at that. I do not have any children and I certainly do not have and have never had a child with that asshole you call a father. We never even had sex! And even if we had, I purposely render my seed infertile just in case of such an eventuality as a child because I do not want one. Do you understand me?" He straightened and put on his coldest expression before he realized what he was doing.

Why am I defending myself to a child? Psychologically, I wouldn't be doing such a thing unless I believed there was the possibility of my being incorrect…and that just doesn't happen. This shouldn't even matter. Just shove the little bugger off on his merry way and be done with this.

Sighing and running a hand through his hair, the nearly seven-foot-tall youkai looked up at the sky in a gesture of contemplation. "Shura…where's your father? I think you need to run this by him first. This is out of my hands and you clearly need to listen to an explanation of how children come into this world. Is he around here or am I going to have to walk your sorry little butt all the way back to your dad's territory to yell at him?"

The child looked at him like he was an idiot. "Father told me that I should find Mommy and then report back to him in the castle. Why would Father be out here in the wilderness? He's a demon lord; he has much more important stuff to do."

Youko sighed again, relieved. So Yomi hadn't told his brat to locate 'mommy Youko', just to find a mom. But… "Why am I Mommy but Yomi is Father? Why can't I be Mother? Or even supplementary Daddy?" Seriously, the kid had a screwed up sense of respect if he addressed the asshole as Father and the greatest thief that ever plundered the Makai as only Mommy. Shame, and he was such a cute brat, too.

"So you'll be my mommy?" Hopeful eyes peered up at him, shimmering with happiness. "Father will be so happy! I can't wait to show him!"

Youko groaned. "No, no, wait! I didn't say anything about agreeing! For one, I am male and normally the seme in any given relationship and therefore refuse to be called the mother! For two, I hate Yomi's guts and therefore mildly dislike yours by extension! And for three, I do not intend to be contractually bound as a parent in any way, shape, or form because that would require some measure of responsibility and dedication and I have none except when it comes to thievery and collecting. So buzz off, kid!"

Tears began to gather at the edges of Shura's wide eyes. "But…but you said you'd come with me to daddy! Stop…stop being such a hypocrite!" Angry, the child wiped away an errant tear and grabbed hold of Youko's hair – I knew I should have cut it before it got this long, he berated himself – and started running as fast as he could in the direction of – god, no, I really didn't want to be dragged into this mess – Yomi's lands. The silver fox was forced to keep close to the child unless he wanted to lose a large hunk of his hair – which wasn't anywhere on his to-do list for the century – and after a two stumbles and a good yank on his glittering tresses he gave up, rolled his eyes and scooped the little demon into his arms, continuing on the path resignedly. Guess there's no backing out now.

Into the devil's lair we go.

x