Chapter one

Nick locks himself into the townhouse and throws the mail onto the table just inside the door. It's nothing but junk mail and he's more than glad there weren't any bills. Doing a full body stretch he's flashing his six pack to no one but a lazy cat. He walks towards the kitchen and the cat follows close behind in hope of scoring some grilled chicken.

"Hey kitty," Nick greets the feline while teasing it with a paper he has rolled up like a base ball bat. The cat merely looks at him, not taking the bait. It's an old cat but new to Nick, so he's unaccustomed to playing with it.

Nick's hungry and is almost certain there's left over Chinese in the fridge from yesterdays meal. Greg loves Chinese and there's never been more Chow Mein in his fridge than since he hooked up with Greg.

Greg can eat Chow Mein in all variations; chicken, beef, pork and shrimp, or often he orders a combination of them all. He himself prefers the shrimp or chicken, or better yet broccoli in hot garlic sauce with pork.

The cat currently rubbing herself against his feet though likes the chicken grilled with just a little seasoning to top it off. Nick has already learned to obey those needs. He throws her some white meat before picking up the box half full of Chicken chow mein and pops it into the microwave.

He sets the micro for 4 minutes on 750 watts and heads into the bathroom while picking up some stray clothes that haven't found the way to the hamper.

The view that greets him in the bathroom mirror isn't pleasing. His skin tone is washed out and all that's left is ashy grey. He used to be tan once upon a time. He thinks he can recall it, in a distant memory before the job took over all the hours of the day. The bags under his eyes are too big and too dark to be erased with just a good night's sleep. He needs a day off and he needs it soon.

Starring at his own reflection in the mirror he starts to count back to the last time he and Greg had a day off. Come to think of it, he starts thinking about how long since they had sex. It must have been some time last week, he's sure of it, he thinks…. His mood is falling with each new day he can add to the count. He's bordering on depression when he ends up at eight and he wonders how it can have been that long.

Eight days without sex is too long for a relationship that is only six months old and has just taken a turn toward serious.

Eight days is too long for any time in his life, but especially now when he has a young, virile and willing lover under his own roof.

Thinking back, he remembers the B&E in Henderson that turned out to be an insurance fraud. The shift wasn't so bad, but Greg had to work extra hours on his DB on the strip. Actually Greg had to work many extra hours the next days as the DB wasn't just any tourist but a B-celebrity causing enough interest to make the case hard to work.

When Greg had finally managed to catch a break, after four days, Nick had landed a case with two dead children. It had stretched into doubles for both him and Catherine and even a dead tired Greg had lent them a hand.

They did sleep together that fifth night, but they were both dead on their feet and ended up with just that; sleeping.

Optimistic that they would have the next day together they had started shift that sixth day, only to be handed yet another double murder.

Nick is still on his case with Catherine, but Greg has been handed another case involving the mysterious death of a business man.

And this is the reason there has been no sex. There simply hasn't been time or opportunity. Unless he wants to grab a quick one in the storage room at the lab, he is doomed to be without sex until they get out from under the massive work load.

The main reason for the extra workload is something he doesn't want to think about.

He misses her. He misses his friend.

The value of Sara's expertise is clear now that she has left. He only prays that they can fill her position with someone at least half as experienced as she is. They need it, they need someone to help them out, and they need it soon.

The beep of the microwave brings him out of his thoughts, alerting him that his food is heated. He rinses his face with cold water and washes his armpits and torso.

He finds a new shirt in the pile of clothes that is washed, dried but not folded. He realizes that the pile of dirty laundry is about twice as big as the clean clothes pile, and he has a sneaky suspicion that the closet is close to empty.

"Hi mom," Nick says while fiddling with the cord on the phone on the kitchen wall next to his breakfast bar. The phone rang just as he was about to sit down to eat, and he grabbed the phone with one hand and the coffee cup with the other. He is not about to let the coffee get cold, not when he has dug out Greg's finest blend. He has a feeling the smell of coffee might wake Greg up, but it's not that long until Greg has to get up anyway.

"Hi sweetheart, how are you?" His mom sounds cheerful in the phone, which is a great relief. The last few calls have been filled with worry over one or more children or grandchildren, and she needs a break from minor injuries and crises in her family. He can't fathom how it must be to have so many offspring to worry about. He has no clue how she's dealing with it all. He thinks it has to do with her solid marriage to his father. They seem to have a good relationship, and lend each other the support they need. Nick can only hope to be so lucky.

Sure they have had their fights. Loud fights as well and not always fair, but they have always made up and moved on. They have always seemed to come out stronger from every crisis, and the love between them seems to grow each year. Maybe he is just getting sappy from being in a happy relationship for once.

Nick takes a sip of his coffee knowing that it will be a long conversation. His mother calls about this time every other Thursday (which is usually his night off) to make sure he's okay. She has her own schedule worked out to make sure she calls all her children at least twice a month, and with seven children that means one phone call every other day. She never fails to do so.

"I'm fine mom, just getting ready to eat. I had to work a double and I just got home. You don't mind me eating while talking to you, do you?"

She hates the sound of chewing through the phone, but she wouldn't take the chance of him choosing food over talking to her. She knows her son well enough to know that he loves his family to heaven and back and food even higher than that.

"No, not at all, you must eat."

"You know, mom," Nick says after the initial small talk, "I have found someone."

He has wanted to tell her for a while now but has never found the right time. He and Greg have been seeing each other for six months now and it's about time to tell the family. He knows this will make his mother happy. Her children reproducing certainly makes her happy, and he only hopes that him settling down with someone will be enough for her after he has made her wait for so long.

"You have?" The joy in Jillian's voice is apparent, just as he knew it would be.

This is the information she has been waiting for, for so many years. Ever since his heart broke so many years ago, she has been hoping for good news. She hasn't pushed him on it knowing that it's a sore point and she's doing what she can to prevent him from hurting any more. Too much has happened to her baby boy, and she wants to wrap him up in cotton and keep his heart from bleeding.

"Yeah," he says, "yeah, I have. This is the real thing."

For the first time, it didn't just feel right from the start, it didn't feel enough. It wasn't enough dating, he wanted more and he wanted to share his life with this man. They aren't technically living together but when a man brings his cat, Nick considers it a sign of something permanent.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm a step dad to a cat, mom." He can hear her laughter through the phone lines, and it sounds like music to his ears.

"Good for you. You deserve all the happiness you can get. So, tell me about her"

"Well, mom, I don't know. I..," he takes a break, "I have put off telling you, because I don't know how you will react. I mean, I think you will be okay with it, but I don't know about everyone else. Or, actually I don't know about you either."

"What are you trying to say?" Jillian sounds worried now. Knowing how her son has been hurt before, she desperately wants what's best for him.

"Mom, I'm in love with a man."

"Are you telling me you're gay?"

"Yes. Well… I have always known I was attracted to both women and men. I just hid it because, well there was no need to tell. Not as long as it wasn't anything serious. As I said, I didn't know how y'all would react. And well, as I've grown older I've grown to like men more and more, and women less and less, so I mostly like just men now. I have always hoped to find the one woman that could be right for me, so that I could marry her and never say anything, it's just that she never showed up, and the right man did."

He thinks maybe he over-talked a bit. He feels nervous. Maybe Greg is rubbing off on him?

"Oh, Nick…"

"I've been in love with him for so long mom. Almost eight years I think. I just wouldn't admit to it. It is too complicated, in more than one way, and well, I didn't think he liked men, much less me. But when it turned out he did, I had no choice than to be with him. I simply can't find anyone else as long as he exists, he's my one. I love him. I'm sorry if it hurts you."

"It doesn't hurt me, Nick. I love you. I'm surprised, I honestly had no idea, but it doesn't hurt me. I'm too old and have seen too much to close my eyes to how rare true love is. If your true love is a man, then that's who you should be with."

"Thank you, mom." He's smiling. Telling his mother has been his biggest worry. He knows if he has his mom on his side, nothing can go wrong.

"So, are you going to tell me about him?"

"Oh, yeah, it's Greg… Sanders."

"Oh…" a disappointed undertone in her voice rang through.

"What? A second ago you seemed fine with it? Did it finally hit you that I'm gay?" Nick feels hurt and answers more childishly than he usually would.

"No, hon, that part is fine. It's the co-worker aspect of it that concerns me."

"Yeah, well that concerns us as well. That's really why it took us eight years to get together, but I really think when I've found true love, I should go for it."

"I think so too. But how will you deal with it?"

"I honestly don't know. What I do know is that I would rather quit being a CSI than give up on Greg. This is really new still, so I…we haven't talked about it. But I think we're coming to the point where we will have to talk to Grissom, and God help us all, Ecklie about it, and come clean. I don't want it to blow up in our face later.

"Okay, as long as you know what you're doing."

"I don't, but I have to do it anyway."

"Well, he's a fine man. From what you've told me he sounds wonderful, and the few times I've met him he has made a real good impression. You must bring him home soon so we can get to know him better."

"Yeah," Nick can't help but let out a sigh still worried about the rest of the family's reaction.

"Don't worry about it, Hon. Dad feels the same way I do, and your sisters bark more than they bite. They have a tendency to have a lot of opinions, until it happens in their own family, and then the pipe suddenly has a different tune."

"Thanks."

They do a little more small talk, talk about his sisters and his father before the end the call. He eats the rest of his now cold food in silence and is about to throw the carton in the bin when the bedroom door opens and Greg pops out all ruffled from sleep; his left cheek red and painted with pillow marks.

"Hey," He greets his boyfriend, giving him a kiss, morning breath and all. Oreo, the cat is greeting her master with a lazy rub against his feet and a happy meow when he lifts her up. She has needed thick black and white fur and long whiskers, and she weighs about double what she should be. She isn't as active as she used to be, and the food plate is never far away.

"Hey yourself," Nick answers, not bothered by the morning breath, "did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I did. Missed you though, but it was good to sprawl all over the bed."

"I guess."

"Have you just come home?"

"About half an hour ago. The shift stretched out. I'm glad I have tonight off, I really need some shut eye."

"You've eaten, or will you have breakfast with me?" Greg finally sees the opportunity to eat with his boyfriend.

"Just ate the rest of the Chow Mein. I can make some pancakes for you while you're in the shower, and then I'll have another cup off coffee while you eat though, how about that?

"Thank you!"

Fifteen minutes later Greg's freshened up and ready to eat. He digs into the pancakes before he remembers hearing the phone earlier.

"Was it your mom calling?"

"Yeah."

"Any news on her site? Is your sister feeling better?" Nicks sister had her appendix removed a week ago, but is doing fine under the circumstances.

"Betty's fine. No trouble there. I told her about us though."

Greg stopped the fork halfway to the mouth gaping, "you did what?"

They hadn't talked about it yet, and frankly, he had expected Nick to want to stay in the closet…. for a long time! He didn't mind Nick coming out, but he had no plans of pushing, and he was totally taken by surprise.

"I told mom. You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not, surprised that's all. What did she say? How did she take it?"

"Well, she didn't mind me being gay. She obviously likes you, but she's concerned about me dating a co-worker."

"Oh, that"

"Yeah, that."

"So, are you concerned?"

"I am."

"Ah, so, what do you think?"

"Listen Greg. I'll take a shift change or whatever to be with you...," Greg's about to interrupt when Nick signals to him to let him finish, "It's no sacrifice, so don't you dare say that! I have learned something from brushing death so many times, and that is to embrace what life offers you, and I am not willing to let you go. So you just have to deal with that! You're with me as long as you want to be, and as long as you are here, you are my first priority. End of discussion."

Greg smiled as he finished his meal without a word. His eyes speak volumes though as they meet Nick's over the syrup-covered stack of pancakes Nick has made for his lover. He is there to stay.

- to be continued -