A/N: Part of me doesn't know where this fic came from but another part of me kind of gets it a little too well. I write by moods; when something really good happens to me, it shows in my writing. However, the same can be said when something tragic happens to me as well. Unfortunately, the later is one of those times.

I have never written anything like this before, but I think right now I needed to. Not everything has a happy ending and I think we all need to remind ourselves of that every once in awhile. I do hope you guys enjoy this short story, even if it's in a sick sort of way.

A lot of this will be vague, so I ask that all of you come up with your own interpretations. If you think it, then think it. I honestly have no answers to give plot wise and it was meant to be written that way.

Disclaimer: I don't own DN. End of story.

Title: Innocuous Intentions

From what I remember, it was cold that night.

Neither of us had thought to put on our jackets and used each other for warmth; your hand somehow made it into my back pocket and my arm wound itself around your shoulders. Even though we were both freezing, neither of us had it in us to actually complain about the lack of protection against the night-chill.

I found myself staring into your eyes, feeling emptier than I have ever felt before.

From what I remember, we were both happy once.

Unfortunately, happiness never does last that long.

"I'm sorry for your loss." A small blond wrapped in leather gently patted the raven-haired man's back, not quite sure what to say. "I know you really cared about him… despite you know what."

"It's alright." The slumped individual whispered. "There are no condolences necessary. I am fine as long as we all continue working. Which is what you should be doing Mello."

"L…"

"Mello, please get back to work. I have much to do and not enough time in the day to do it."

Biting back a scathing remark, the twitchy blond exited the room from whence he came, the folders within his hands trembling with his irrational rage.

"I'm sure he'd say the same thing if he were in your position, right L?" Mello sarcastically tossed over his shoulder before the sound of a heavy door slamming against the wooden frame surrounding it overcame L's senses.

Letting his head fall into his hands, the body, which looked so small perched within the grand chair settled behind the mahogany desk, trembled uncontrollably.

You kept your mouth shut even as we made it through the woods. You hadn't wanted to go out that night, but I had persuaded you with pretty words I had never thought to use before then and love-struck eyes that didn't quite match how I felt.

You smiled that gorgeous smile and silently agreed to continue on, even as your lips began to turn blue.

Secretly, I loved that color set upon your face.

For the first time in a long time, I found you beautiful again.

"I still can't believe he's gone." The pale-faced redhead muttered out, his goggled eyes not quite reaching L's. "Do you think we'll ever find out where they might've left him?"

"At this point, I'm not sure." L admitted. "But if we get even the slightest hint as to where he might be, I'll be sure to contact you Matt."

"Thanks. We weren't the closest of friends, but if I can help out in this, it'll be the least I can do." Matt sighed out, his hands hovering over the keyboard beneath them. "I know this must be hard for you… you both were so close. I've never seen you more alive than I did when you were with him."

"I'll be alright." L quietly admonished. "Just keep working and I'll keep you up to date with the things you need to know."

"O… k…" Matt stuttered. Not glancing back behind him, the sound of keys being stroked and hit tempered out the sound of silence, L's curtain of hair shielding his eyes from sight.

I remember you asking me why we were out there. Your face had become incredibly pale and that light blue tint had invaded the hollows of your cheeks and nose. I relished in your confusion; holding you as close to me as I could, satisfaction began to crawl up my spine and warm me all over.

You kept asking me the same question; why are we here?

I let my feet continue forward until the sounds of a river met my ears.

A smile began to itch on my own face.

My hands…

They began to shake with anticipation.

And you…

You looked so gorgeous under that full moon light.

I couldn't have picked a better night.

"Do you need anything else?" The silver-haired boy practically whispered, twirling a light strand of hair between his fore and middle finger.

"I think that'll be all Near." L shook his head as he spoke, looking over his employee's paperwork with a blank look upon his own face. "You've done very well. You may take your leave now."

"Alright. Make sure not to work too hard, L." Near muttered. "We need you for the next case."

"You do not have to worry about me."

"I don't. I worry about my work." Near snapped back, dark dull eyes full of silent accusation. "I only waste my care on things that pertain to me. You need to do the same."

L remained quiet as Near shuffled towards the nearest exit, the papers crinkling within the older man's hands.

"Do you have any regrets, L?" Near asked just as he was about to leave the room.

The question remained unanswered as L situated himself back behind his desk, lips shut tight once more.

I didn't know what it was I wanted to do to you at first; only that it had to be done. You see, I could feel you slipping away, and I couldn't have that. Even if I didn't love you as I once did, you were still mine.

Mine to cherish, mine to discard…

Mine to keep.

Once we reached the river, your eyes still full of curiosity, I let my gentle smile fall from my face and the arm wrapped lovingly around your shoulders tightened painfully. Squeezing and shortening the distance until your neck was fastened beneath the crook of my arm and you were gasping for even the smallest bit of air.

The light shade of blue slowly began to turn purple, your tanned face offsetting the color beautifully.

I watched as you fought tooth and nail, but I was just too strong.

Throwing you onto the ground, I wrapped my gloved fingers onto your neck and squeezed once again. Your eyes bulged and your mouth dropped open…

I loved every second of it even more than I ever loved you.

"Here you are, sir." The old gentleman smiled sympathetically as he handed L his tea and cake, blue eyes taking in the man's scattered demeanor and fidgety gestures. "You will need to take a break eventually. Spending all your time doing this is not healthy."

"Please, Watari, not now." L breathed out, fingers flying over the keys of his laptop without fail.

"The chances of finding of him are slim to none…"

"But the chances, however low, are still there." Taking a gulp of his tea, L did not even stall in his typing as his free hand continued to fly. "I am fine. Once we find him, I'll be even better."

"If or when we find him, how will react, I wonder…" Watari smartly did not finish his question, the look on L's normally impassive face able to freeze stone. "I'll be on my way then."

"Fine. Thank you." L answered shortly.

His fingers continued on with their work, the hands controlling them shaking only slightly.

You fought till the very last second, and I have to say, your resiliency was what attracted me to you in the first place.

But after awhile, you began to lose ground. Your eyes stared up at the sky without seeing a thing and your arms, which at first had been flailing wildly around you, dropped to the ground in a thud. Your legs gave out and I was your only support.

Just me.

You would have hated the sight of yourself so weak had you been conscious to see it.

I on the other hand loved every second of it.

Every bit of desire I had smothered away in the past couple of months rushed at me in a tidal wave of feeling, my breaths releasing themselves in tiny pants. Smoothing my hands over the length of your prone body, I felt myself become hard as a result; your unresponsiveness only added to my hunger, even as my lips gently kissed the side of your neck, where your pulse remained inactive and silent.

Grinding against the stiffening thigh against my own, I nearly cried out as the pressure of my groin became too much and I spilled myself all over you. Instead of reaching towards my own completion, I hefted myself up and grabbed your body. I knew that leaving anything on you was dangerous, even if the water did its job the way it should have. I still had to be careful, above all else…

Lugging your body into the water, I continued to stare at your face.

Your beautiful, beautiful face…

Everyone had been envious of me once they discovered I had claimed you. They couldn't believe that I of all people had managed to capture you in all of your ethereal beauty and quick wit.

But you were never mine.

Not until this moment…

Not with him still chasing after your heels like a dog in heat, and you completely oblivious to the fact.

Yet that is all in the past.

Now, now, now the only thing in your world is me.

"I know you're upset." L passed the older man in front of him a large coffee cup, his eyes for once open with the sincerity he rarely handed out to the people he worked with. "We're doing the best we can and I'm hoping with all resources we have managed to gather that we'll be able to find him soon. I have a few suspects in mind, and if what I have put together is true, I' sure we'll be able to find him soon."

"Thank you, L." The mustached man took a sip of his coffee, his aging face scrunched up with worry and pure distress. "My family appreciates all the effort you are putting into our case. He would have been proud to know that you were working so hard to get him home safe."

"Or disgruntled." L joked with a sardonic smirk on his face. "Either way, he'd have to put up with me. I won't let him get away from again."

"Oh, I'm sure." Brushing the hair away from his eyes, both men met each other's gaze head on, the same look of worriment clouding their features.

The cup within L's own hand began to shake as the hand gripping onto it clenched into a fist and became completely enflamed in red.

You body didn't sink at first.

That was ok though.

The sight of your now purple-tinged face encased within the flowing waves of water was lovely to watch as you gently floated away, the river's currents becoming steadily more violent the further down your body went. My own pants were a bit damp at the bottom, my body now frozen from the cold and my length was still pressing painfully against the strain of my zipper, but I ignored my own physical discomforts and closed my eyes.

The former satisfaction bled into sadistic glee, the happiness I had once felt only with you exploding tightly within the curls of my stomach.

He may have had you for a second but now you were mine.

Always mine.

He could never truly take you away from me now.

Never, ever, ever…

"Thank you." L glared at the younger man in front of him, the innocent look of confusion set on the bespectacled man's face burning L down to the very core. "You are dismissed now Mikami-san."

"But L…"

"I said you are no longer needed." Close to losing his own temper, L reigned in the supreme self-control he had always wielded best and sat back within his chair. "Now leave."

The lawyer sighed as he shifted his gaze to the ground, turning his back to the detective still situated behind his desk and trudging out of his office-

A large smirk hovering over his lips as he did so.

L dropped the paperwork onto his desk, mentally shredding each one as the dark-haired attorney left his presence.

He knew who had taken the person he was looking for.

He just had to figure out how he could prove it was all.

I knew that it would be awhile before they found your body, if at all.

Even if they did, they wouldn't be able to pin anything on me.

I was untouchable, even to you.

For once, I was the God and you, the servant.

And I relished every moment of it.

"Do you have any regrets, L?"

"I have many…" L whispered to himself. "I have too many…"

Opening the top left-hand drawer of his desk, L pulled out the frayed picture held within it and stared. Narrowed brown eyes glared grumpily at the person taking the picture, the normally impeccably-styled hair tousled in a messy fashion as the man himself lay on a bed with barely any clothing on. Grinning at the familiar sight, L felt his own breath quicken with something he couldn't name-

Grief

And slumped further into his chair as his hands once again began to shake.

"Do you have any regrets, L?"

Swallowing down his tears, pale hands carefully placed the picture on top of the ignored paperwork and closed his eyes.

"Hopefully you don't become another one, Light."

Letting the light of his computer screen fall into complete darkness, L stayed within his office for just a little while longer.

He no longer had anyone to go home to after all.

Desolate brown eyes emptily stared up at the vanilla-tinged sky above them, water covering every aspect of the body they belonged to. The muddled water weighed the body down as it began to sink lower and lower towards the river bottom, the clothes slowly decaying alongside the flesh they still clothed.

One hand, however, stayed lifted upwards, as if asking for a salvation that could no longer be given.