Title: It Would Have To Be Enough
Author: Dystopic Entropy
Summary: Lily hopes that one gesture can atone for seventeen years of parental neglect. Set between 2.13 Oh Brother Where Bart Thou and Christmas 2008.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, because if I did, Chuck would come to his senses and admit that he loves Blair already. All I own is the plot to this story.
A/N: So far, this fic hasn't been made AU. Therefore, enjoy!
~*~*~*~*~
"Tell me where Charles is."
Lily's demand rang through her suite but did not seem to faze Andrew Tyler, who no doubt had years of experience practicing his current unreadable but guarded expression.
"Chuck Bass does not wish for me to reveal that information to anyone right now, least of all you," he replied.
Not even an insincere apology for being unable or unwilling to cooperate with her. It was time for more drastic measures.
Lily pulled out her checkbook.
"I'm afraid it will take more than that," Andrew said. "Bass Industries never failed to have the highest bid, and nothing about that fact has been affected by recent events."
Right about then, with that smug, self-satisfied smirk, he bore an unfortunate resemblance to his current employer, the son of his former employer…her recently-buried husband.
Lily's breath hitched in her chest at that painful reminder of the man she had just lost. The muscles in her jaw tightened as she resisted a powerful urge to choke the man who had, just days before, asked her to pay up in order to keep one of her deepest secrets under wraps. She hadn't hesitated to pay up then, and she sure as hell wasn't going to refuse any amount he asked of her now.
Lily blew out her breath, trying to stem her frustration at the fact that the only thing keeping her from performing her motherly duty was the smarmy, overpaid rat currently standing in front of her. She knew that she wouldn't be able to match the obviously large retainer being offered to the man by her stepson, who was typically already at work chipping away at his father's fortune.
As far as she was concerned, Andrew Tyler could go screw himself, and indeed she wished that he would, were he not the only link that existed between herself and Charles, who was off gallivanting somewhere, no doubt trying to drown his sorrows using some combination of heavy liquor, potent drugs, and unsavory women – very likely all three. All the more reason for Andrew to provide this small favor.
Andrew's politely distant voice broke into her fuming thoughts.
"If you have any other need of me, don't hesitate to call my number. I'm certain we can work something out."
Lily remained stony-faced, not saying a word. She watched as Andrew picked up his briefcase and backed himself out of the door and out of the suite. She caught herself almost wishing that he would also back himself out of her life, but she needed him to crack and offer up his knowledge of Charles's current whereabouts.
~*~*~*~*~
"I should have known it wouldn't work," Lily sighed later as Eric watched her with a mixture of wariness, discernment, and curiosity. "Charles of all people would have the foresight to make sure that his PI was paid enough to render the average underhanded bribe completely useless." She shook her head slowly at that, her eyes unfocusing and glazing over with troubled exhaustion.
"Mom, it's not your fault," Eric told her sincerely.
At that, Lily's eyes refocused on her son. With that generic yet heartfelt reassurance, Eric in his ignorance had managed to remind her of her other midlife crisis. As she remembered her stepson's enraged accusation and the slap that had followed it, her throat tightened as she remembered that it was, in fact, mostly her fault. Lily had, once again, failed as a mother. She closed her eyes, now heavy with the burden of her revived guilt.
She did not sense, nor see, Eric's quiet confusion as he watched her face and then darted for the door. It was several moments before Lily regained her composure.
She hadn't been much of a mother to any of them, she'd realized. Not to the baby she'd given up all those years before. Not to Serena, not to Eric, not to…Charles.
Well…that could change now, she decided. Tonight, even. Lily felt a sudden, zealous hatred of the fact that their family was so far-flung during the holiday season. If there was any time of the year that a family should be together, it would be now. It wouldn't be necessary to call Serena home from Buenos Aires, but Charles need not spend the holidays camped in some faraway hotel suite, whether alone or with expensive call girls, when he could come home to a family…even if that family currently consisted of only herself and Eric.
Eric would be secretly delighted to have his older brother back, she knew, and she had come to the realization that despite what had happened between them, she was more than willing to be the mother that Charles had never really had.
Lily pulled out a pen and grabbed the first sheet of stationery that she could find.
Charles,
I don't know where you are right now, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that you know where you can find me.
I've thought about the things that were said between us, and I hope that one day you will choose to forgive me as I have forgiven you.
What we have been through has not been pleasant. Nor will be the things which follow, but you don't have to face them alone.
I know that Eric would love nothing more than the homecoming of our family's newest prodigal son, and I'm confident that I can speak for Serena in saying that she also desires your safe return.
We may not be related by blood, Charles, but we share a bond forged by pain, which runs even deeper within our souls. Regardless of anything else, we have this much in common.
I just want you to know that you always have a place that you can call home with the Van der Woodsens. Our door will always be open for you – now, and at any point in the future.
No one should have to be alone right now.
Lily
~*~*~*~*~
Lily's lips pursed as she scrolled through the contacts in her phone's memory for his number. She found the name between Aaron Rose and Anne Archibald. With a slight frown, Lily pressed the green call button.
"Yes, Andrew? No, you have made it abundantly clear that you will not divulge my stepson's location. Since you have repeatedly refused to do so, there is, in fact, one other favor you can provide for me…"
~*~*~*~*~
Lily had no idea whether or not Andrew would actually pass the message along to Charles, and she had no idea if Charles would feel so much of an ounce of emotion of any kind when or if he received the message - it was all in the hands of fate at that point. The sentiment she'd scribbled on plain stationery was but a leaf in the wind in her attempt to reach the broken boy hidden under the hardened exterior of the heir to Bass Industries.
As far as grand gestures went, this one hardly seemed like an adequate effort. In fact, it would only be the first of possible steps toward the formation of a new kind of family relationship. Lily hadn't been there for Serena and Eric, but she fully intended to be the mother that Charles "Chuck" Bass so desperately needed. She didn't have a lot of experience at being the mother that she should have been, but the time was ripe for second chances, and she wasn't about to pass this one up.
Her simple invitation could hardly atone for the seventeen years of parental neglect in the family, but it was a start.
It would have to be enough.