A/N: Presenting Snape on a Rollercoaster. Written for kimkat. I'm not entirely sure I like it, but eh, it is what it is.
I don't own anything you recognize.
He watched in horror as the little boxes sped along a rickety, metal track of sorts. He flinched slightly at the screeching noise the little wheels made as they raced up into the air, then in a very un-Severus manner, he let his jaw drop in disbelief at the screams of delight that the many muggles strapped into the contraption emited.
How anyone could enjoy something so obviously unstable and dangerous was beyond him, and he had spent the better part of his life secretly defying the Dark Lord and walking into death's arms.
He tore his eyes away from the site before him and turned his attention to the little curly haired witch beside him.
"I hope you aren't under the impression that I'll be participating in this particular attraction." He sneered, doing his best to intimidate her. He got an eyeroll in response.
"You've said that about most everything today, and you've enjoyed everything you've said that about, now stop being an old codger and get in line." She told him forcibly and gave him a little sholve.
Severus stumbled a little and straightened himself, brushing nonexistent dust off of the collared shirt and trousers he had been forced into. Muggle clothes, and an amusement park. He scoffed at his surroundings. He was never letting her pick the activity again. He should have known he would end up looking foolish. Although he did have to admit, he had enjoyed the cotton candy very much. He had also bested that ridiculous muggle who had taunted him into throwing those little darts at those ridiculous colorful bubbles. Hermione's smile almost made him smile when the pudgy little muggle man handed her the ridiculously frilly and unrealistic unicorn teddy. He would have been immensely embarressed if she had noticed the wandless levitating charm he had to perform to make sure the darts hit their marks.
The line shuffled forward every so often, and before Severus knew it, he and Hermione were strapping themselves into the death machine. He glared at the offending metal bar as it pushed into his sternum and wiggled his butt on the hard metal seat.
"Don't look like that, you'll like this, I swear." Hermione assured him, giving his hand a little squeeze. He almost stopped scowling. Almost.
"For some reason, I really doubt that." He muttered as the cart lurched forward on the metal tracks.
Severus felt a strong sense of anxiety settle in as they climbed higher and higher into the air. He just knew this entire contraption was going to fall apart with them strapped into it. It would be the most ironic ending he could think of.
Severus Snape. Fearsome Death Eater, defier of the Dark Lord, detention giver and all around scary wizard, was going to plummet to a muggle made death. Ironic.
They got to the top of the first drop and Severus braced himself, then the cart lurched forward and he felt his stomach leap into his throat. The feeling of falling was overwhelming. He felt as if all of the skin on his face was tightened as his hair flew back away from his face. He could feel the cool wind whipping through his dark locks and before he knew it he was screaming out with all of the muggles.
He heard Hermione's giggling coming from the seat beside him and he closed his eyes. This was almost like flying a broom.
Severus hated flying.
The ride was over as quickly as it had begun and he breathed a sigh of relief when the metal bar was released, allowing him to get out of his seat. He shakily got to his feet and stumbled out of line towards a group of bushes near the entrance of the ride.
He promptly lost his cotton candy.
He was never letting Hermione pick the activity, ever again.