A/N: So, yeah I wrote this in about 10 minutes. It there are any grammar or spelling mistakes, well, yeah you can go ahead and laugh. :
Ha Sasuke...
June 7th
Dear Diary,
I know guys aren't supposed to keep diaries, but for lack of a better memory, I've decided to use my first entry to describe the one of worst days of my life, other than the slaughter of my family and all And this should also be kept a secret because no one knows I write. Anyway, it was so bad, I can't even begin to put it into words, but I'm going to anyway.
It all started when I woke up this morning and took a shower. Now don't get me wrong, I love taking showers. It's the only time I can sing alone and no one knows I have a beautiful voice. After my shower, I realize that all my towels were dirty. Oh great, so I'm naked and I have to walk to my room which, by the way, has a large window with no curtain. So, I walk into my room, being extremely careful of who sees me, and quickly slip on my clothes. Oh and speaking of clothes, all my boxers were dirty too, so I had to wear a pair of briefs. Do you know how uncomfortable those are? For someone who has worn boxers every day of their life, it's excruciatingAfter I'm dressed, I want to blow dry my hair, so I do so, but woe is me, I'm all out of maximum hold gel. I knew it would eventually happen. As a result, my hair looks exactly like Sakura's and what a bitch that'll be when I meet the rest of my team today. I shrug it off and leave my apartment.
Just to let you know, it takes quite a while to walk to our meeting place at the bridge, and wearing those briefs, every step feels like my underwear is groping me. Now looking like a girl, I arrive at the bridge to see Sakura already there, and obviously happy to see me. 'Sasuke, what have you done with your hair?' she says. Focusing more on my package, I shrug her off and lean against the rail in my usual spot. To my dismay, Naruto comes running a few minutes later and begging us to let him tell his story about what happened to him this morning. I don't care and don't pay any attention until, two painful hours later, Kakashi poofs in a cloud of smoke like he does every morning, and gives a bad excuse for why he was late. He snickered at my hair and I merely glared at him. Then, to top things of, Naruto and Sakura have the day off, and Kakashi says I have to come with him.
This next part of my day was so unexplainable; I can only say one thing. Kakashi molested me. Well, a little. He would have gone farther if I didn't hit him in the head with a stick and go sprinting off into the distance. I found an alley and sat on the cold ground, hugging myself for comfort. That's when I realized something about myself. I wouldn't have hated my teacher molesting me as much as I could have, so I came to one conclusion. I'm gay. Now I'm thinking, OH GREAT. I've always hated gay people. I've always thought they were disgusting. Now I'm one of them.Now I have to go the rest of my life having fantasies about men. To clear my mind, I take a walk, FAR away from the alley and who do I meet but none other than Naruto, about to go get lunch. 'Sasuke, this just so happens to be the day when you look the most retarded.' He says like the stupid ass he is. 'Do you want a ribbon to go with that to?' he adds, thinking he's so witty. I tell him to suck it, I having regretted that, and walk past him, but no he has to argue even more. After more bickering of his, I manage to escape and run into a nearby supermarket. I'm so relived to get away, I collapse in one of the isles, and what do you know, an OPENED can of tomato sauce just falls on me. Yes, opened. Thank Heaven it didn't get in my hair, which I was actually starting to like. Having already left a stain, I try to hide the evidence of the can and sneak out of the store. Now, I attempt to head back home, but Sakura stops me on the way and questions why there is blood on my clothes. I keep trying to tell her its tomato sauce, but she insists that I go to the hospital. Long story short, I end up at the hospital with an Indian burn. After the doctor removes my clothes, he reveals there is nothing wrong with me. No shit, Sherlock. Now I have stained clothes that I refuse to wear, so he gives me a hideous hospital gown. I don't care about my clothes anymore, because, let's face it, I have a million pairs of the same thing at home. Ditching Sakura, I leave the hospital in the gown and my still excruciatingly uncomfortable underpants. Well what the fuck am I going to do now? I'm starving, and I know I have nothing to eat at home, but if I tried to buy food, they would think I escaped from an asylum. I end up digging through the garbage and find a chicken bone, and a half eaten sandwich. I gnaw on it for a wile, and then leave to go home, but holy friggen fuck it starts raining. In June. Raining hard. So, I'm walking home, in a hospital gown, uncomfortable underwear, having eaten out of the garbage, gotten made fun of, molested, and come to the realization that I'm gay. What could go worse, right? I trip, and I fall face flat in a puddle of mud. WHY?!
I found out, after standing in the rain long enough to wash me off, that I locked my self out of my apartment. I went around the side and climbed the fire exit and into my window. I was finally home, and immediately took a shower and changed into my pajamas. So, here I am, writing about my day in my diary. Pretty shitty day, right?
June 8th
Dear Diary,
Last night I had a dream that I raped Naruto. Three times.
R&R!