So Human
Disclaimer: Nope, still not British.
A/N: Ok, I first want to make a second disclaimer, I did not want to write this from first person because I didn't think I could do the Doctor justice but in the end it worked out better this way so please bear with me on that matter.
Second, this should hopefully not be a one shot because I think I have a couple of fun plot ideas for after this but no promises. This fic is also partially for me to practice a little more with present tense writing since I haven't done much in that style so yet again, bear with me.
And lastly, as always I will shamelessly beg of all you readers to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I cannot thank any and all of you who leave any form of critiques for me enough, and if you want more chapters please let me know. Other than that, please enjoy.
Rose is smiling up at me, leaning into my shoulder, holding my hand and shoving me playfully as she used to so long ago in what feels like—or rather what is exactly like—another lifetime. We walk at a bouncing pace along the shore of Bad Wolf Bay as I watch us from a top a rocky cliff just steps away from the TARDIS.
I had stumbled across a bump in the time vortex. Nothing more in flight, just a bump, but it was enough of an oddity that I could not resist turning around in mid-flight to investigate. Standing where I am now I wonder if I would have still gone back to check out the bump if I'd known it would lead me here, to an all too familiar parallel world. Then again, I know without a doubt that of course I would have, of course I would squeeze the TARDIS through the tiny side path in the middle of the vortex and steer in here, of course I would stand, invisible to any inhabitant of this world, and gaze down on my past self.
Well, not necessarily my past self exactly, though I have no way of guessing how old he is, especially given he ages at a human rate, but rather my…other self. And as I look down on the couple who would not know me even if they had a way of seeing me—the bump turning out to be only a small enough gap for me to see through to their world but not vice versa—I find myself in resentment of the man I used to be. Even though I have really never been him and never will be.
They stop, Rose releases his hand and starts backing away, I see him give an overly large shrug with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Ah old habits. She leans forward at her hips, appearing to say something which he and I both would probably find insulting and then turns to run. He follows after her, sprinting across the beach in pursuit, spraying sand behind each step and even from this distance I can hear their laughs echoing off the rocks.
They are running in the direction of the cliff I look down from, instinctively I take a step back, not wanting to meddle with events but then I remember I couldn't meddle here even if I wanted to. As they disappear under the rocks I am standing on I debate about getting back into the TARDIS and leaving this place that I had already left behind years ago. I grip the handle on the door, hold it tight for one instant, and then shove myself away and make my way down the cliff, straightening my bowtie as I do. I walk with long and purposeful strides as a voice in my crowded head mocks me.
What you are doing is so human.
I find this a tad ironic given that, between the two of us, it is the other me in the vicinity that is the human one.
I know I can get as close as I want, they cannot hear or see me and they would walk right through me without feeling a thing. As weak as the bump was, I am not the image, they are. I am viewing all this as one would view a movie, nothing more.
I find them under the rocks in a sort of cave, but not quite a cave because the other end opens up even wider than the side where we have entered. Under this rock formation shaped by time and water the waves cannot reach us; the sand is drier as I approach the two silhouettes that have halted in the middle of the tunnel. I hear her brilliantly joyful laugh as she throws her head back, he has her caught under his arms.
"Let me go!" She squirms and wriggles herself free at last, kicking at his leg in revenge.
"Oi!" He starts, hopping onto his other leg and rubbing his injured shin. I chuckle to myself, she hasn't changed.
"Oh stop your moaning," she taunts. Her child-like grin spreads from ear to ear across her face, she bites her tongue between her teeth and I cannot say that I have forgotten what her smile looked like, but I can say I have missed looking at it.
I come up to stand beside myself and stare at him as he grins back at her, a little smugly but perhaps that is just my imagination projecting on this human who I almost envy.
"Make me," he teases in response.
"Fine," Rose shrugs and stalks toward him, pushing his chest with one hand until they hit the stone wall behind him and she kisses him fiercely. Her other hand comes up to grab onto his collar, holding his face against hers though it is obvious he does not need the reinforcement. This Doctor holds her tight while he kisses Rose Tyler and I realize I have overestimated myself, because I have watched exactly this scene unfold before, and I have walked away just as I do now and just as painfully. But I stop when the sand under my feet becomes rough and wet again, turning to look over my shoulder and see the couple who are again silhouetted against the bright white beach sun. They have not broken away from their kiss and are a single figure in their black outline.
"Take care of her," I order myself. And for the third time in all my lives I fly away from Bad Wolf Bay leaving Rose behind.