SELFISH
A KLAINE fan fiction, rated T
NOTE: I DO NOT OWN GLEE...
"B-Blaine, it hurts" He was gripping my wrist as if he was about to fall from a cliff and my arm was the only thing he could hold on to.
"I'm sorry Kurt" He loosened his grip but still held me as if in urgency "please-"
He dragged me to his dorm room. We weren't supposed to be here. "rehearsal"
I leaned the back of my head against his door as he rested his forehead on my shoulder. He breathed against my neck and if it weren't for his hands on my waist I would have slid to the floor. He breathed again and the shivers from my spine rushed to my knees. Blaine added a bit more pressure to where he held me as if sensinghow weak he has made me.
"We have warbler-" I sighed. My voice was shaking. He was so close to me. My fingers tingling at my sides, wanting to wrap his neck-oh god.
"Kurt" I shut my eyes, hard. No, Blaine's forehead is not pressed against mine. He is not breathing near my mou- damn –our breaths now mixing...his lips, his mouth watering lips, inches from mine. I don't...I...shit. I can't think. Get a grip Kurt! The intimacy of breathing so close to each other is sending my heart to an overdrive. He opened his eyes and stared intently into mine making me feel so conscious as if he could see every corner of my soul, as if he can see every single secret I have...
I licked my lips in nervousness and I saw his eyes wander to it. He stared at my lips for a while and I gulped thinking he was going to kiss me. He closed his eyes again and sighed, his breath rushing against my closed mouth.
"Blaine, what's wrong?" I took the opportunity believing that I won't be able to speak once he opens his eyes. Well, at least not now...not in this position. "Wes is going to kill us. Even I felt David's panic for us when you dragged me out of rehearsal. It's a 10 minute break if we leave now-"
"Kurt"
I couldn't calm my heart. Thud thud thud. Stop it Kurt! Blaine made it clear he only wanted to be friends.
"I'm so selfish aren't I?" I tried to laugh at this statement in my mantra of 'oh my god's aware that my voice was higher than usual. "Kurt...I...I"
Blaine was never at loss for words. NEVER.
He lowered his head to my chin giving me access to the scent of his shampoo.
Then he- shit! Shit! Shit! Holyfreakin'cheesus!-"nnngh"
My eyes went so wide I thought my eyeballs would fall out. Did I just moan? Oh god.
Did Blaine hear? Whether he heard or not he continued to lick my neck up and down. I kept shaking, fisting my hands in hopes of staying still.
Then he moved to my jaw...
I continued to shake against his grip. His hold on my waist was too tight to be considered comfortable but I was more than thankful for it keeping my on my feet.
Blaine was just licking me...I should be grossed out right? I was, well, I don't know what was happening to me.
"Blaine!" I breathed out. "What..."
He started to place sloppy open mouthed kisses along my jaw going to my ear.
I moaned again and clenched my teeth. Blaine. Blaine freakin' Anderson was sucking behind my ear!
He licked that spot where he was sucking only seconds ago, dear god, will I wake up with a hickey (?) from BLAINE ANDERSON tomorrow?
"I..." He started as I stared at him in shock, both of us quite breathless. "I'm so selfish Kurt"
He looked straight to my eyes, his apologetic, mine...dazed.
"shhhh, Blaine, tell me what's wrong" My thumping heart betraying the comforting words that escaped.
"You, sitting on Nick's lap.." He said the name with such bitterness it didn't sound like him at all. "...laughing at his stupid jokes during the practices" I am very well aware that, thanks to Blaine, I know remember nothing from when I woke up let alone Nick's jokes during warbler practices. Thank whoever that, at least, I still remember who Nick is.
"I was just so...so jealous Kurt..."
Pause.
Rewind.
Play
...jealous...
My eyes got wider, if that was even possible. Am I still breathing?
"Is it so wrong to want you all to myself?" He was so honest, it was unfair.
There is no doubt I wanted to be his boyfriend. No doubt I wanted Blaine to love me with all his heart. I believed everything a love struck teenager would believe but after that incident with Jeremiah...and the kiss with Rachel...It left me with thoughts of wanting to move on. It hurt so much I couldn't risk my heart anymore..
"Yes Blaine." I instantly saw the hurt in his eyes which mirrored the ache in my heart. I saw my own expression from them, equally hurt. "You made it clear you only wanted to be my friend and Blaine, I just...it's " I sounded pleading.
"I was wrong then!" He pleaded with more force and his eyes looked watery... I've never seen Blaine like this, as if he was losing control of everything "Kurt, I love you"
I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing.
Did I faint?
Am I still alive?
Should I try waking up now?
Am I really NOT hallucinating?
WHY WON'T I SPEAK?
"Kurt, I fell in love with you the first time I saw you on that staircase. You were the most beautiful thing I've ever seen but when I heard about Karkofsky.." I immediately flinched at the name which didn't go unnoticed, I'm sure. "I knew a suitor isn't what you needed, you needed a mentor and I still believe you do that's why I said those things after the Gap Attack. I didn't want to mess up our friendship because it is so important to me and.."
He went on and on and I was trying to process what he was saying but it's so damn hard when he's running his hands up and down the sides of both my thighs!
"What are you saying Blaine?" Breathe, Kurt. Breathe. I bit my lip as he moved his hand to my waist rubbing it slowly as the other hand rested on my flushed cheek.
"I'm saying that I want you Kurt"
"I-mmmhmmm" Blaine started to kiss down my neck, stopping to bite my collarbone. "just...how.." gasp "do you expect us...to have a..nnngh...serious conversation...like this"
After licking what seemed like Kurt's seventh hickey, Blaine breathes out. "I tried to be just your friend Kurt but" he sighed "seeing you like that with Nick, I was made aware of the fact that sooner or later I'd lose you to some other guy and I...I just couldn't take it, I love so much Kurt..I could never lose you"
It was the third time Blaine has said it and I can feel him (yeah, aside from him pressing against me) waiting for my answer. Courage Kurt! It's now or never.
"I love you too, so much..." and I pressed my forehead against his, repeating "so much"
And just like that.
I finally said it.
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OH MY GOD WHAT DID I JUST DO?
I pulled my head back and Blaine was staring at me like I just said I made out with a girl...well, he is yet to know about Brittany..but still...OH MY GAGA!
Eyes wide, then gulping, I shut away the million thoughts screaming inside my head.
I can't go back now.
But I wish I could...
I bit my lip and once again Blaine's gaze wanders down to them.
He leans forward...and licks them.
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I gasp and within seconds his lips are moving against mine, passionately.
I moan yet again this time I could hear the little growl(?) from the back of his throat.
His lips were pressed do hard against mine I wasn't sure we could even separate them after this, not that I mind.
He presses me further against the door, squeezing my ass through the Dalton issued slacks.
His hair was so messed up against my hands that all I could think about was that this is so HOT.
He licks my lips again and slides his tongue inside, exploring my mouth, tasting every inch.
I knew he and I were making the strangest most beautiful sounds but I couldn't hear anything anymore. I couldn't think. With my eyes closed, I focus on just feeling Blaine.
Everyone should be dead jealous.
I want to explore his mouth too and I push his back and soon our tongues were sliding against each other as if in a heated dance.
It was almost so painful to breakaway. I was so afraid it would all be a dream but Blaine is here, still pressed against me, pressing me against the door...somehow
everything is...alright.
"practice" We both grin as wide as we could.
Blaine held my hand all the way back to the Warbler's Hall and all throughout the remaining hours of practice. I saw Wes glaring daggers at us for cutting but then, he
and David were smiling a knowing smile when Blaine and I arrived...
THE END