For Loons and Fools
-"Clearly a man's most prevalent disparity…is also his most primary attraction…"
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"Hmmm, well, I know that supposedly if you talk to your plants they will grow faster and stronger, and be healthier…but I don't really know what to talk to you guys about? I mean…should I talk about something that a plant would like hearing about…like oh I don't know…the weather…the sun…or…should I just talk about anything in general?"
Neville Longbottom inhaled deeply; he loved the fresh smell of gardens. Many people, he realized particularly found this smell nauseating, but not him, he was used to it and it was normal to him, soothing even. He let out a sigh and began chatting endlessly about nothing in particular to his beloved plants.
The greenhouse was his favorite place to be while he was at Hogwarts. It was where he felt the most comfortable and accepted. This was where he felt the most at home. In the greenhouse, it was just him and his plants, simple as that. The thing he liked the most about his plants, is that they listened to him and they didn't judge him or make fun of him or anything.
Also he didn't have to worry about making a fool of himself in front of the plants; he didn't have to worry about whether or not he fit in. It was quite a sight to be seen; Neville Longbottom and his beloved plants. If anyone were to ever witness him in the greenhouse while he was working alone, he could easily be mistaken for the most confident boy in the world. But sadly no one has ever seen this side to Neville before and it was a pity.
He could just be himself here in the greenhouse, but also at the same time he could be someone completely different, someone who believed in himself, someone without a doubt in his mind. This was where he could come when he wanted to be alone, no matter what the reason. Whether it be to think, do homework or just to get away from everyone and everything else surrounding him in his lonely existence. The greenhouse was his sanctuary and this was one thing that no one could ever take away from him.
"Wow, I've just been babbling away like an idiot, I have…well it's a good thing plants don't have mouths…I sure don't need anyone or anything else telling me what a fool I am."
Suddenly Neville was met with the sound of nearby giggling. It was soft at first but then it grew louder, until eventually all Neville could hear was loud, uncontrollable fits of raging laughter.
"Who's there?" called out Neville weakly due mostly to humiliation, considering that whoever was in the greenhouse with him had most likely heard every word of his rather pathetic conversation to his plants.
"Do you normally talk to your plants or is this just some additional benefit you do when you have a live audience?"
Neville recognized the voice immediately.
"Luna?" he called, looking around trying to spot her. "Where are you?"
"Oh, you mean you can not see me? Well surely you should be able to see me…I am right within your view."
Luna was quite amused watching Neville. Especially with the fact that she could see everything that he did and he didn't have the slightest clue. She watched as he looked around helplessly trying to spot her. This brought a rather cheesy grin to her face. He happened to be really cute without even trying, cute in a weird and awkward way that is.
It was quite clear that Neville had grown up within the past couple of years and definitely for the better. He was now in his seventh and final year at Hogwarts. Luna observed him closely. He had grown taller, and now happened to be one of the tallest boys in his year. Along with the growth spurt went his extra pudge, which Luna personally had never minded.
He was now very lean and well toned. He had also let his chestnut brown hair grow out longer, to which Luna thought suited him very well. His hair wasn't too long, just long enough to slightly curl underneath his ears.
'He has cute ears,' Luna silently decided feeling the corners of her mouth lift up into an even bigger if not cheesier grin.
"Errm…where because I don't see you?" called Neville interrupting her thoughts.
"Well, I suppose you will have to come find me then."
"Luna, this is ridiculous, just come out. I'm not going to run around looking for you…"
"But Neville why on earth not? I think that would be great fun."
Neville let out a solemn sigh and pulled out a stool to sit down on.
"Luna…how long have you been in here?"
"Long enough," she called out softly.
"Well how much of what I said did you hear?"
Luna chuckled. "I heard just about everything, I think...everything from how much you hate your grandmother comparing you to your father, to how much you enjoy herbology and then finally to how you do not need anyone or anything else telling you what a fool you are…and whatever else was in between all that."
Neville instantly felt the strong heat rush to his cheeks. "Oh, how humiliating…now you must think I'm a fool."
Luna let out a loud and unexpected, high-pitched squeal and soon erupted into another fit of giggles.
"Okay…well, then I guess that answers that…" mumbled Neville quietly.
"Well, of course I think you are a fool Neville Longbottom!"
"Yeah, well tell me something I don't know…wait, how did you get in here anyways?" asked Neville suddenly, quite eager to change the subject. "You can't get in without a password…"
"Oh, well I suppose I should rather explain myself for that…or you could have a go at it?"
"Luna, I really don't feel like guessing how you got in here…"
"Fine then, I asked Professor Sprout for the password."
"Oh," replied Neville quite surprised, his eyebrows slightly raised in interest, "I didn't know that you were interested in herbology…"
"I am not interested in it," Luna quickly replied, still hidden from Neville's view.
"Oh…" Neville trailed off dejectedly. He was quite disappointed; but he should have known better. He had recently discovered that it was pretty much impossible for anyone else besides Professor Sprout to show as much interest in herbology as him. Actually, he supposed that his fascination with herbology could also classify as a minor obsession.
"Well, then what are you doing here?" He finally called out. There was a long drawn out pause. "..Luna?"
"Yes, Neville?"
"Luna, please this is ridiculous, I feel as if I'm talking to myself here, which believe me I've done enough of for one day, so just come out."
"But it is quite more interesting this way…believe me you should try it sometime."
"Oh you mean I should just go around and follow people without them knowing…and then just hide somewhere nearby and watch them…"
"Precisely," replied Luna. "It will keep you busy on a rather boring day…"
Neville rolled his eyes and pushed up his sleeves.
"Hey I saw that!" exclaimed Luna pretending to sound somewhat hurt.
"Sorry," replied Neville sheepishly looking down at his feet.
"That is alright, I get that a lot. I am quite used to it by now…"
There was an awkward moment of silence that followed until Neville finally spoke.
"So who else have you followed around and spied on lately?"
There was another long pause.
"No one…just you."
"Oh really?" started Neville slowly, "Well you do realize that there are far more interesting people than me who you can chase around and watch all day. I mean…I'm just so-" Neville paused and bit his lip, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to think of the right thing to say.
"…horribly boring," he finished and then continued on. "I mean I could almost swear sometimes that while I'm talking to my plants, that they yawn. Sometimes I could even swear that they twitch a bit…almost as if they're trying to tell me they've had enough torture for one day…"
Luna couldn't help herself, she unsuccessfully attempted to stifle her laughter, only instead she happened to let out a loud, rather unattractive snort and began to once again giggle hysterically.
"Wow, Neville, I did not realize how funny you are!"
"Well, I'm not trying to be funny! I'm being serious here!" And bless his heart, Neville was being serious. This only made Luna laugh even harder. She took one look at the seriousness of his face and just lost it.
"Right, well I'm glad you got a good laugh out of that…" replied Neville with a sigh.
"I do not think you are at all boring," called Luna suddenly out of nowhere, in between breaths of her subsiding laughter. "If I thought you were boring, I can assure you I would find something else worthwhile to do…and also I would not be here right now."
"Are there any other times you've been here that I should know about in advance…to save myself from any future embarrassments?"
"Nope," replied Luna thoughtfully, "this is the first and only time…although I can assure you that it will not be the last…"
"Well, now what's the point in even coming back if you've just told me that you're going to?" Neville wondered aloud.
"That is just it," began Luna softly, "now you will no longer have to worry about making a fool of yourself…because you know that I will be here from now on."
"Well, thanks so much for that consideration…" replied Neville inelegantly.
There was another awkward moment of silence.
"I would still really like it if you came and tried to find me…" Luna's voice teased softly.
Neville groaned and stood up. "Alright, here I come…looking for you." He slowly began walking around the greenhouse looking under all of the countertops and inside all of the cabinets and behind all of the plants and bushes, until eventually there was nowhere else to look for her.
"Alright, Luna I give up," Neville called out, finding himself growing slightly annoyed.
"No, keep looking…there is still one place you have not looked yet."
Neville stood thinking about where she could possibly be and that's when he noticed it. A slightly crooked bookshelf that looked as if it had been moved around a bit, it stood directly across from where he had previously been sitting. He had completely forgotten to check in the most obvious place, which this was nothing new for Neville Longbottom. He slowly approached the old, dusty bookshelf and sure enough there was Luna. She was crouched down in what looked to be a rather uncomfortable position in between the bookshelf and a metal utility case.
"Ah, you found me," replied Luna softly with a sly grin.
"How long have you been sitting there like that? It looks quite uncomfortable..." noted Neville as he effortlessly pulled her up onto her feet with one arm.
"About as long as you have been in here, about an hour maybe?"
They both stood in front of each other for a moment not saying or doing anything. Luna grinned up at Neville with her dreamy eyes and took a rather secure step towards him. Neville taking notice of Luna's not so vast movement let out a tiny gulp and suddenly became immensely interested in his fingernails.
"You know," replied Luna softly continuing to grin widely up at Neville; whose gaze had warily returned towards her, "I thought that you were rather cute when you were talking to your plants."
Neville blushed furiously and quickly turned away, avoiding her fixed stare. Neville simply wasn't used to getting compliments and therefore didn't really know how to react to one.
Luna let her eyes randomly travel over every inch of the bashful boy in front of her. She noticed that he had a slight tan, which really showed against the white school shirt he was wearing. He had a few freckles sprinkled across his nose and big, wide hazel brown eyes, which Luna thought looked rather sad most of the time, almost like a lost puppy.
"So, what is it like being a fool?" Luna breathed softly, looking up at Neville with a distant smile.
"Excuse me?" replied Neville staring at Luna, scrunching his face up with confusion.
Luna stared back at him absorbedly and without breaking eye contact, she evenly yet firmly repeated herself. "I said, what is it like being a fool?"
Neville continued to stare blankly at Luna who in return stared back, only now a slight smirk was playing at her lips. Neville remained silent as if waiting for her to tell him that she was only joking, but when she didn't he let out a long audible sigh.
"Well, I really don't know…I suppose you'd have to be one…in order to really know."
Luna's face broke into a wide grin, showing off all of her perfectly white teeth.
"That was clever Neville Longbottom, I like that…"
Once again, Neville blushed and turned his gaze away from her.
"…and I like you too," finished Luna. "I know that was straightforward even for me, but I just can not help myself sometimes."
"What?" Neville whispered softly as his eyebrows slowly rose, causing a few creases to gather on his forehead.
"I said I like you, now do you like me or am I just wasting my time?"
Neville stood silently for a moment, taking in what had just happened.
'Luna Lovegood just told me that she liked me…' while he waited for that to sink in, he glanced down at her as she grinned up at him with her big blue sparkling eyes.
'She is rather cute,' he decided. His eyes traveled from her long, dirty blonde hair, which hung loosely around her small face, to her chest and legs. 'Aaah stop staring!' Neville mentally scolded himself.
Finally his gaze landed on her bare feet, he decided that he liked the way that her school uniform looked on her.
"Yeah, I do," he replied softly.
"Good! So, now that we have gotten that out of the way, how about you kiss me."
"Errr…kiss you? Right here…right now?" Stammered Neville, his voice breaking slightly.
Luna let out a snort. "Sure, why not?"
"Well, it's just…" Neville trailed off staring down at his feet. "Oh I don't know!" he finished throwing his arms up in frustration. He was now even more horribly embarrassed by the current situation he was in. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and nervously began to kick at the soft, earthy ground beneath him.
They both stood through yet another awkward moment of silence before Luna finally stepped forward and reached towards Neville; she carefully grabbed his tie and began slowly sliding her fingers up and down the smooth fabric.
"You know…this is the perfect place for someone like you and I…" she replied softly, continuing to play with his tie.
"Uh-huh…" mumbled Neville, who refused to look up and was now so nervous he thought he was going to pass out.
Luna moved in closer towards him. "Neville…would you like to hear a joke?" she whispered into his ear.
"Ummm…sure…" answered Neville in a slightly higher pitch than he would have liked.
"Right, so this girl likes this boy, so she goes up to him and she says, 'I like you,' and he says 'Why?' to which she replies, 'because you are not really here'."
"What? Luna…that isn't even a joke…and if it is…then I don't ge-"
Luna didn't give Neville the chance to finish because she had yanked him down by his tie, threw her arms around his neck and firmly pressed her lips against his. They remained this way for a good ten seconds. Luna then pulled herself away and stepped back staring up at him innocently.
"Now, what were you saying Neville?"
He was too shocked to speak.
"I-I don't remember…"
"Well, do you want to try that again? Only this time…I would quite like it if you kissed me…"
Neville stood for a moment pondering before he took a small step towards Luna. She flashed a wide beaming smile and also stepped forward. She closed her eyes as Neville leaned down and wrapped his arms around her small waist. His lips soon met hers, and it was perfect!
They didn't bump heads or smash noses or anything- as Neville kept dreading would happen. Luna, on the other hand, was already planning her next move. She slightly parted her lips deepening their first kiss. When they finally broke apart they both stared at each other in awe.
"So Luna…" Started Neville slowly after a few minutes of quiet went by. "Are you ever going to tell me what that joke of yours meant?"
Luna just looked up at him and without a word she reached out and grabbed hold of his slightly sweaty hand, holding it gently in her own.
Her big smile slightly began to fade and her lips slowly began to purse into a somewhat mysterious smirk. Her eyes were locked in a far-off, trancelike stare. Finally she let a long, exaggerated sigh escape from her lips.
"What?" replied Neville slightly taken aback.
"What a perfect day," replied Luna dreamily, "for loons and fools."
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