The Everyday Life of a Swear Toad

Inspired by the following:

ChocoCreamPuffz me

Troublerocks

Major Trouble Kelp V-tek

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters are c Eoin Colfer

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I am Wart. Seroiuly, thats my name. The meaning isn't too obvius. Wart has warts, that is because Wart is a toad. I am a swear toad. A toad who had been given the gift of speech and more intelectual capacity capable of more than swearing, like what most fairies think. Toads, now given this gift, still resort to their usual life: eating flies and pooing 'em out. But me, this Wart has a dream. A dream to explore new things and to prove and discover what I am capable of.

So I said goodbye to my Maw and Paw who had nothing to say but D'arvit. I waved on last and hopped to the nearest passing vehicle.

Which happened to be Commander Trouble Kelp's ride to work. He was wearing nothing but a bathrobe so I decidede to look up. Which was not a good idea, and I immediately regretted it. I took a deep breath, which was my second mistake. Because it resulted into a big loud D'arvit.

DDDDDDDDDDD'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT

The Commander glanced around just in time to see a pretty elf with large hazel eyes and auburn hair. She was smiling widely.The commander just gave her a look saying ooookkkayyy? Ooops. If that girl liked this commander, then she was out of luck. I bet he thinks she was the one who sweared. ohh, bad luck for her.

When the vehicle finally stopped, I hopped into the nearest building, which was Police Plaza. I looked around, the only thing not moving was the elf with hazel eyes, who was still staring at Kelp, blushing. Everything and everyone moved so fast all I can see was blurred colors. Papers flew everywhere and the occasional passerby cuffed to a police officer. Telephones were ringing and the noise was deafening for toad ears. There were too much fairies. I felt a feeling of emptiness and felt that I do not belong. And so, I desired to move away but I was confused with the unfamiliar surrondings. Until I heard a wonderful sound...

D'arvit!

Could it be? Could it be that in this kaleidoscope of destruction and confusion, that wonderful sound be heard? I followed the heart-warming sound, not letting it jump away from my grasp. My heart flipped with joy when I finally reached a small booth. The source of the sound. Ops Booth, the door said. I barged inside, my expression expectant...

That turned into a disappointed one. A centaur, wearing a ridiculous tin foil hat.He was typing in his computers like crazy. I decided it was time to test my gift of speech, and so I hopped to the computer to see what his problem was. There was a red blinking light in a spot someone near Dublin, Ireland. I was just about to read the exact coordinates when a web-cam window popped out and covered the entire monitor. A boy no older than 20 with raven hair and mismatched eyes started to speak.

"Foaly, I'm sure you've already found out. Bring Holly at once. Now."

The centaur knowned as Foaly protested. "I was just looking into it, Arty. And it is impossible to get Holly an above ground visa to your house after the Paradox thing. We have enough problems finding Opal Past without you and your -"

"Foaly. Now. Or Else." 'Arty' said, then the window was gone.

Then Foaly murmered "Sheesh. To see that boy to stop manipulating people is like waiting for a Swear Toad to stop tagging along elves' behinds."

I smiled sheepishly. It was true. And I was guilty.

I waited for a while for something to happen in this full-of-wonders Ops Booth. Then the elf with hazel eyes appeared again.

It's a wonder how fate make people, or toads, meet each other more than once.

"You know what to do, Holly" Ahhh, so Holly was the name of this beautiful elf.

"I just wish I had a companion with me. Lately, I don't feel too comfortable alone with Fowl." She said.

Well, I owe her for the D'arvit thing so I climbed her moonbelt. Together, Holly and I left the miraculous Ops Booth.

Later I found myself strapped into a shuttle. Holly said to no one in particular "Secure all shuttles. Im going in the next hotshot. Let's get this baby in the surface"

"Secure. You have green light Captain." An invisible voice said.

Wait a minute. Surface? Oh no. I can feel my green skin turn into lime. I tried to get off the moonbelt but the seatbelt was preventing me to move.

Oh my, I was going to the surface.

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A/N: R&R people. Next chapter will be up by this weekend or sooner. Did you like it? First FF ever.

Reviews appreciated, flames accepted and compliments adored.