Disclaimer: I do not own anything of GS/D

Life is nothing without struggle, suffer and someone to care about us. And one more, happiness.

Ever since I was created, I've always asked to myself in my heart, why am I alive? For what? Will I fall in love? When will it be answered? Those questions, when can it be answered? I have waited for all my life, and still not answered. I guess God loves humans more than clones, until He doesn't have time for us, clones. I closed my eyes and swallowed the pain that made my heart scattered. When will I understand that it will never be answered? When? I felt hurt in my eyes. One teardrop fell. And two. And no more. Only that. My heart hurts; it felt like a dagger was stabbed into my heart. I was alone with no one standing beside me. I went out of that room and saw Shinn hugging Lunamaria. I had always envy them. They have each other, being ready for each other. Me?

People had always liked and wanted to be someone inexplicable like me. But they just don't understand how hard being someone with no one to understand. Keeping yourself from the world and those around you is not easy. Life is not easy.

It was a beautiful starry night. The moon was full and high. I stayed awake until 10.00. I drank my pills.

I closed my eyes and saw Rau, my piano and me. I opened my eyes again. And I closed it again. And slept.

I dreamt a dream about something that changed my life forever.

I was sitting in a beautiful garden on a bench beside my beloved brother, Rau.

There were dandelions, lilies, tulips, and roses.

"Brother, for what do we live? At the end, we know when we'll die, then why do we live?" I asked him with the hope that he knows the answer.

"Maybe God wants us to live," he answered with a smile. I guess he never smiled to other people instead of me.

"Why does God wants us to live?" I asked him again.

He took a Rose and said "What do you think about this Rose?" He asked me back.

"It's beautiful and elegant." I didn't understand about flowers, I answered with the things that came up first on my head when I saw it for the first time that day.

"To me, it is beautiful, charming and graceful. But, it is mysterious and dangerous."

I was surprised. "Why dangerous and mysterious?"

"See, there are things you don't understand about me. Same to God. There are things that humans don't understand about God." I was surprised once again.

"Rau, where will we go after we die? Heaven or hell?"

"I don't know. I don't even know whether we have a second life or not, because we're just clones. And clones are things. But, God has His own decisions." He looked down and smiled.

"If God wants us to live, why do we know when we'll die?"

"From whom do you know when we'll die?" He asked me back.

"I know from the doctors' that created us, of course."

"Are they God?" He asked me again.

"No, of course not!"

"Then don't believe in them. God is the decision maker. We maybe can live 1 year more than what the doctors' say because of God. Can't we?"

"You're right. Rau, I know that ZAFT had always been wrong. I had done wrong things, and I know that I'm wrong. I had killed many innocent peoples. I had always regretted being created," tears fell upon my cheeks. "Why? I can't stand this. It hurts me. I've made so many sins."

"Rey, it hurts me too. But I can't change the fact that we are created for this," his voice trembled. I know that he's trying to prevent his tears falling. "God will never give us a test harder than what we are capable of. I'm sorry, Rey. I can't help you more than this. I'm sorry."

"No brother. You standing beside me are more than anything I had always wished for. I've always felt lonely. But know, you brought me back to the world. Thank you."

"You're not alone. You have me. Even if I'm far from you, I am still in your heart. I will always be here." He answered me with a smile. A beautiful smile.

"Thank you, Rau. I love you," I smiled and I hugged him. It was warm and comfortable.

"Rey, we are meant to be alive and we are meant to struggle. But the most important is, we are meant to be happy. Be someone like this rose; beautiful, strong, firm and loving. Promise me. "

"Yes, Rau. I promise."

My life changed because of that dream. Even until my death comes, a smile was on my face and heart.

A/N: Please review, my first story… Rey and Rau are the best! They knew that they were wrong but they can't avoid being wrong. They hurt themselves. Thank you. -