A/ N: Rrrgh I started this fucking ages ago, and I decided to finish it today so BLEAH.

Note: I have not lost my ability to spell, don't panic. They're drunk. They're slurring.

Warnings: Slashy slash. Sweary swearing. Sexy-uuuh-all references. Alkymaholic boozes.

Disclaimer: Not mine :(

First Kiss

"Shiriush, I fink you're drunk." Remus slurred, giggling slightly, his butterbeer bottle sloshing as he lurched slightly.

"I am not!" Sirius said indignantly, staggering in Remus' direction. Some thin air tripped him up, and he fell on his butt, blinking, then giggling slightly.

Remus however, outright laughed. "You are! You're drunk!" He tottered slightly, before falling down beside his comrade. "And I am too." He added decisively.

Sirius laughed. "I told you the party would be fun!"

"Yeah, but it wasn't. That's why we left."

"Nah, we left because none of the girlsh there wanted me." Sirius grinned proudly, gesturing to himself. Sure, Sirius was undoubtedly the most handsome boy at Hogwarts, with his long beautiful black hair, and his lean muscular figure, but increasingly recently the girls had had enough of his crap, and Sirius was getting turned down for dates more and more. As though to balance the universe out, Remus found himself rapidly becoming the subject of much unwanted attention. Sirius wasn't jealous though, indeed, he was managing to pick off a few of the girls Remus turned down.

"Remush?" Sirius turned to look to his friend dopily, though he had to squint, as it was a new moon, and light was scarce.

"Wha' is it Sirius?" Remus eyed him, his stronger eyes having no problem picking out the odd, half-asleep look on Sirius' face.

"I had this dare with Jamie and... well... Nah, it's stupid." Sirius shook his head, looking away. Remus sighed, recognising this persuasion technique of Sirius' even in his drunken state.

"What is it, Sirius. You know you're jus'going to wind up asking anyway."

"Well... There'sh someone I really like, right, an' I've been after 'em for ages, but they never seem to notish when I ask 'em out. I talk to 'em all the time, an' they jus' ignore it. I dunno wha' to do."

Remus blinked. "What does that 'ave to do with a dare?"

"Well, James may 'ave dared me to tell 'em tonight."

Remus blinked. "Did you?"

Sirius gave him a really strange look for a second, then shook his head. "Forget it. What's up with all those girlsh anyway? They were all over you!"

Remus shrugged. "They seem to 'ave decided that if they can't 'ave you, they might as well go for me."

"So why not take 'em up on it, Rem? God knows ya need some action, I haven't seen yer with one girl all these years, and we're almost at graduation! Get a move on!"

Remus blushed. "You know why I can't afford to let anyone in. I don' need a million girlfriends, unlike you, Siri. Hell, I've never even been kissed." He blurted then covered his mouth, instantly regretting it.

Sirius however, didn't ridicule his sandy-haired friend. "Never even been kissed? But moony, that's a tragedy! We must recti... recta... rectum... fix this at once!"

Remus shook his head. "Nah, I'm fine. I'll live." He smiled, and sipped at his bottle again.

Sirius had other ideas though. He shook his head, shifting to face Remus more fully. "No... yer firsht kiss is important. 'S gotta be done right."

"I'm fine, really." Remus insisted, but Sirius had placed his hand on his thigh, and it was very distracting, weaving around in small, circling patterns.

"Firs', the person's gotta really like you, Remus. Not jus' like you, but reeeeally like you. Like like you. A lot." Sirius smiled dreamily, making little loveheart shapes with his finger now. "Then they gotta be alone with you, so that nobody's gonna be really stupid about it and go 'woooo'. That'd ruin the experience."

"Um... Sirius?" Remus began, but Sirius silenced him, placing a gentle finger on his lips.

"Then." He whispered, leaning in close. "The person has to get reeally close to you..." Sirius smiled, removing his finger slowly from Remus' lips. Remus' heart was thudding; what the heck was Sirius doing? If the other man was just teasing, Remus was going to hurt him. Then again, if he wasn't teasing... then what? Before another thought could make it's sluggish way through Remus' alcohol-addled mind, a pair of soft lips covered his. They tasted slightly salty, and there was a strong taste of alcohol; Butterbeer wasn't the only thing Sirius had been drinking, clearly. Overall, it was a rather nice experience, Remus decided, and he didn't resist when a tongue entered his mouth, softly swaying his own in time with it. The thing that struck Remus as strangest was that this was Sirius, who was kissing him, and he didn't seem to mind. It must have been at least mostly due to the alcohol; everything felt warm and fuzzy and nice, not to mention Sirius' hands on his thigh and the back of his neck, and he had the feeling that Sirius could have ravished him right there, and he wouldn't have protested much.

And then it was over, and Remus' lips tingled for the loss, but before he could even begin to think of some kind of verbal reaction for what had happened, the lips were back, this time trailing kisses down his neck, that made Remus tremble, and not in a bad way. When Sirius reached the nape of his neck, he stopped, and spoke, his nose lightly brushing the skin in a teasing way.

"You likey?" Sirius's tone was playful, and while he appeared to have sobered slightly, Remus' head was feeling more fuzzy than ever. Remus could only give a sort of moan-squeak sound, which Sirius appeared to take as an affirmative, because his face left Remus' neck, his lips returning to the other boy's. Remus had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do, and settled for playing tongues, which Sirius seemed to enjoy. He could tell that neither of them were looking forwards to the end of this, because then they would have to make excuses, pretend it was a drunken accident, all that sort of thing. So eventually when Sirius parted their lips, both boys just stared into each other's eyes, foreheads pressed together in a sort of sweaty, sticky way.

And Sirius smiled. "You look really pretty when you're confused."

Pretty? Remus blinked. And a thought hit him. "What about that girl you like."

Sirius rolled his eyes, smiling. "You're very naiive, aren't you. There never was any girl."

"Huh?" Remus blinked. "But you said..."

"I said there was someone I liked, not once did I specify gender."

"You're very sneaky."

"You fell right into my trap."

"Damn you."

"Love you too." Sirius smiled, rubbing noses with Remus absently.

000

The following morning, Remus was woken up by a horrible, skull-cracking pain. There was light everywhere, flaring around him, and it was burning his eyes. Slowly he cracked them open, arms flailing around to find the blinds, draw them shut and get away from the horrible light.

Instead, his arm impacted with another body, which produced an 'oof' sound that could only be male. And slowly, the memories started pouring back. Sirius' confession of feelings. Him confessing he had never been kissed. Sirius' hand on his thigh; his lips on his neck, his forehead on Remus's forehead. Remus groaned, turning away from the sunrise and his best friend, who was now clutching his eyes in pain.

"Sirius?" He croaked, his throat feeling scratchy, and his mouth tasting absolutely disgusting. His only response was a grunt, and an arm capturing him around the waist, bringing his back up to what was clearly Sirius' chest.

"Goway morning." Sirius grumbled. "Shut that bloody curtain, will you. 's too damn early."

Remus eyed Sirius over his shoulder. "We're on the astronomy tower. Coming here seemed like a good drunken idea."

"Too many words." Sirius glared at him. "Less now."

Remus rolled over to face him. "Do you remember last night?"

"I 'member... um..." Sirius frowned.

"You kissed me." Remus said softly.

"I did?" Sirius blinked. "Oh balls, I was planning to do that sober, so I'd actually remember it."

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Because, as I'm sure I told you, I like you. In a gay kind of a way."

"Oh. Okay."

"Are you okay with that?" Sirius asked, sitting up and looking Remus in the eyes.

"I... I don't know." Remus confessed. "I mean, I'm not homophobic or anything, but it's..."

"Strange? Bizarre? Confusing? Queer?" Sirius smiled.

"All of the above, and many more." Remus rubbed his eyes. "Plus, I have the worst hangover of my life."

"Would more kissing help?" Sirius waggled his eyebrows, and Remus smacked him in the arm.

"I have to have a shower and brush my teeth and panic. Then maybe." He admitted, and Sirius grinned. "You have to brush your teeth too." Remus added quickly. "I can smell your breath from here."

A/N: That's all, folks!