A/N This is set about two months after episode 2x04/2x05 when Caroline goes back to Kate's house to apologize for their unsuccessful weekend at the hotel. Kate does not want to try again, though, therefore ending their relationship.

However—as a heads up—this story is not about Caroline and Kate. There are already so many great Caroline/Kate stories so that I was inspired to write a "post-Kate" story about Caroline and another woman. I hope you enjoy it nonetheless, and I am always grateful for feedback and comments!

Life Compensates for its Losses

Chapter 1

CAROLINE

Her room felt cold when she woke up, and she felt grateful that her body was tucked under warm, thick blankets. She could feel the ice-cold air burn on her cheeks yet found the contrasts to be quite balancing. Caroline had been seeing Kate's face—or, rather, the memory of Kate's face—next to her every morning; her lids closed and she breathing: quietly, peacefully.

It had been more than two months since Kate told her that she did not want to take another chance on her and seven weeks and six days since Kate had re-submitted her resignation the following day. Caroline had wanted for this to be just another bump in the road of their relationship, and at first, she firmly believed Kate would turn up in front of her door the next day, always the next day, and tell her that she wanted to try again. But she never had, and with every day, Caroline became more accepting of having to re-create a memory instead of being able to create a future. She had even heard that Kate had moved to a different town, a different district altogether—as far away from the fucked-up head teacher who had ruined her life.

Caroline was angry at herself for still thinking about Kate this frequently: Hadn't it been her who had hesitated, who hadn't been equally invested? She knew that Kate had felt far more affection for her than she was able to reciprocate: She liked Kate a lot, and she liked being with her, and it had felt more right than it ever had with any man she'd been with. But did that automatically mean that Kate had to be the love of her life? After all, there are many couples—gay and straight—who aren't really in love with each other. Kate was her first real relationship with a woman, and she had stumbled into it in midst of an ugly divorce, and so wasn't it only logical that she hadn't been able to commit herself fully?

Despite all of the excuses she tried to find for herself, she knew that she had been unfair to Kate—Kate, who had been nothing but supportive, and patient, and who had ultimately given her the courage to come out. But now, without anyone to love and support her, Caroline felt alone and increasingly scared: The ecstasy of her affection for Kate had previously covered most of the ugliness and hostility of her environment and the hardships that came with her sexuality, and it had given her the courage to stand up for herself. But now, she was on her own, and she suddenly felt weak and scared, exposed.

She didn't miss Kate like you are supposed to miss someone you love; she didn't miss Kate for Kate—and she couldn't help but feel guilty. But this guilt was overshadowed by her longing and loneliness: How much she wished that Kate—that someone—were lying next to her in that very moment; how she longed to be kept warm by not a blanket but a body.

Suddenly, she realized that she was daydreaming, and when her eyes were caught by the digits of her alarm clock, she panicked. Shit, she thought, I have to leave the house in 30 minutes. Times like these made her glad that her two sons were grown and could dress themselves, which gave her about 45 minutes more sleep every morning. And with her eldest son out of the house, mornings were less crowded, too.

After she got dressed and put on some makeup—only the essentials—she rushed into the kitchen, where Lawrence sat, eating his cereal in what seemed like slow-motion, while still wearing his pajamas.

"You better get dressed unless you want to go to school in this. I'm sure a lot of people would be amused," she said, taking the almost-empty bowl out of his hand and placing it in the sink.

Although he didn't say anything, she could almost hear his rolling his eyes as he got up and went upstairs. She poured herself some coffee and leaned on the counter as she enjoyed the first, delicious hot sip.

"Ten minutes!" she yelled, knowing Lawrence heard her and feeling a second eye-roll as he did.

Her office was filled with an unusual amount of paper work with which she had a love-hate relationship: She hated it because it was tedious and who didn't hate paper work? But she loved being alone in her office, hidden from all of the every-day school bullshit. Especially since Kate left, Caroline had been waiting for any rumors to die down, and she was grateful for every day she didn't overhear some students or staff whisper about her love life—and the likelihood of that was far greater outside of the safe walls of her office.

This was her first day back at work—she had taken two weeks off, her first time off in what felt like years, and although she'd wanted to take the time to rest, she'd spent most of it cleaning and re-arranging the house. While she was gone, her co-chair had hired someone new, someone who was supposed to—how guilty she felt, only thinking it—replace Kate. Caroline had approved the new teacher's CV, but she had not met her in person. Although she was already hired, Caroline still wanted to meet with her—she was the boss, after all, and she wanted to do her job right.

Before she could dedicate herself to tackling stacks of documents, she heard a faint knock on the door telling her it was 8:00 o'clock: The new teacher was just on time.

"Come in," she said, quickly.

A blonde woman peaked around the corner.

"Hi, I'm-"

"Jade Bishop?"

"Yes. Good morning. Can I come in?"

"Please," Caroline pointed to the seat in front of her.

The new teacher was short, blonde, middle-aged—probably only a few years younger than Caroline herself.

"Nice to meet you," she extended her hand and sat down, nervously, but with a smile.

It was right then that Caroline noticed her extraordinary, blue, stand-off eyes that were perfectly complimented by the warmth of her full-lips smile.

"So you're from Germany?" Caroline asked, quickly and nonchalantly, only to take the lead.

"Yes, I was born near Cologne if you've heard of it. But I've spent a lot of time in United States, and I've lived in the UK for about five years."

It was then that Caroline noticed her unusual accent—unusual for the area, at least—a combination of American and something indefinable. The accent of a world-traveler, she thought, and it intrigued her.

"So you're a traveler, huh?"

"Yes, well—I love it, but it's been nice staying in the same country, too."

"Right, right," Caroline looked down, her glasses on the tip of her nose, and scanned Ms. Bishop's resumé.

"I see that you studied English in college, but you didn't study Drama there."

"No, I actually took drama classes after graduation so I would be able to teach it."

"Good, well—and you've been teaching for ten years now? What were you doing before?"

"I was living in New York, trying to make it as an actor and writer. You know, the dream of half of the population," she laughed nervously.

"And what made you decide to become a teacher?"

"After years in New York and only poor success, I was longing for a more stable job and environment. I had given tutor lessons during high school and college, and I've always loved helping younger people grow. And, you know, it's a very mutual relationship: I can inspire them as much as they can inspire me. And I feel like with teaching, I can really make an impact while still talking about the things I love."

Caroline only then noticed that she had been smiling, and she was quick to force her face into a neutral expression to maintain a serious, boss-like appearance.

"Good, good. Has my colleague already—?"

"Yes, she's sent me my schedule; I've got my first class in an hour."

"Well, you're all set, then," Caroline scooted back her chair, stood up, and reached for the other woman's hand.

"Thank you," Ms. Bishop said, and Caroline opened the door and watched as she passed her.

"Have a nice day."

"You too. Good luck!" Caroline hesitated for a second before closing the door: Her attention was grabbed by the black-fabric-covered shape of Ms. Bishop's body as she was walking away from her—her figure about the same as her own; her bust and waist more accentuated, making her look very feminine.

She felt silly when she caught herself starring, and she closed the door firmly. She just stood there for a second, one hand on her hip, the other on the wall, not knowing what to think or whether to feel happy, sad, excited, or scared. She shook her head, trying to shake off any distracting thoughts, and sat back down in her big chair. Caroline let out a big sigh before taking the first folder from one pile.

"Here we go."

TBC