Author's Note: Feeling a bit bummed that I didn't get to hang out and spend time at the beach with my friends today, nor will I get to hang out with them much tomorrow seeing as I'm under sister-arrest. My younger sister has a tendency to sneak out of the house (she is 14) and while my parents are away at Vegas, I was given the privilege of watching her to make sure she doesn't wreak havoc upon the streets. As Novus Ordo Seclorum put it, I'm Raph-sitting. lol So, I wrote this to kind of vent and to practice two things: 1. The art of writing in the first person and, 2. Trying to get those drabbles down. Still can't make it down to 100 words, but I'm getting a teensy bit closer. lol

Also! I'm proud to say that I will be hosting the first ever Horror Fan Fic Comp over on Stealthy Stories! Be sure to check out the site for the rules, regulations, dates, and more! I'm hoping to get a good amount of submissions, so if you're interested, check it out. :D Rules and guidelines will also be posted on my profile, so be sure to look at that too. :)

Enjoy!

There are times when I don't see myself as the older brother, but more like the second parent. When Master Splinter entrusted me to look after my brothers as team leader, I was honored. To be awarded with such responsibility … I felt privileged. Grateful. Proud. I'm not saying it was easy, having to understand my brothers' each individual skillsets and incorporating them into battle strategies; though Donnie and Mikey were pretty compliant.

Raph, on the other hand, was a different story. Every order I gave, he had to question it. Every argument I threw back, he had to rebuttal. There was never any middle ground. Just two stubborn mules, butting heads.

I tried to be patient. I tried turning the other cheek whenever my lectures would go through one ear and out the other. If he wasn't going to listen, then what was the point? Master Splinter, our father, thought otherwise and saw it as me allowing Raph to overpower my authority. There is no such thing as a bad student, only bad teachers. So because Raph wouldn't listen to me, that made me a bad leader? A bad older brother?

There are times when I don't see myself as the older brother, but more like the second parent. I had to pull myself out of meditation whenever Raph was having his hissy fits. I had to miss the ending of some of my favorite shows because Raph was on the verge of wrestling Mikey into a chokehold for taking the last slice of pizza. I had put aside my downtime, my hobbies, to make sure Raph didn't sneak out of the Lair and go topside in the middle of the night. Did he understand that his actions had repercussions? That everything he did, it affected me as well?

There is no such thing as a bad student, only bad teachers.

There is no such thing as a bad teammate, only bad leaders….

Did … did he do these things on purpose? Did he hate me that much that he would purposefully get into trouble just because he knew I would get dragged down along with him? Was my brother that spiteful…? And in the end, even if I did get into trouble for not keeping a better eye on him, he still got lectured and punished for whatever dumb act he decided to commit. Was it really all worth it?

There are times when I don't see myself as the older brother, and there are times when I don't see myself as a second parent. I am the leader, as decreed by my father and honorable sensei … but sometimes … there are times when I don't even see myself as that….