Chapter 1: Meeting an old friend.
-Kagome's POV-
I sat at my desk, thinking, pondering, the wondrous and mysterious images swirling through my mind, confusing me, abusing me. These inquisitive and extraordinary thoughts sticking her to her seat like super glue. I wondered who the woman inside me....
I wondered if I knew who I really was.
For weeks, months, years even I wondered. Who am I really? Am I nice? Am I quiet? Am I mean? Am I a snob? Is this entire situation real? Is life even real? And if it is... where did I come from? Just basically it comes down to one, the ultimate, simple question which most people ask of themselves in desperate need of identity in an identity crisis...
Who am I?
I know of no one that could help me in this dilemma. Though coincidentally, unbeknownst to me, there is someone. Someone I just met 3 years ago, when I was 15. However, this remains to be hidden from not only my eyes, but their eyes as well. For I have never told anyone of my perplexity. I have always kept it hidden, within my tightly shut, highly guarded cell of my soul. My being.
I knew the basics of who I am. For example, my name is currently Kagome Higurashi, which will change when I do marry, I am now 18. I have a brother named Souta and a cat named Buyo. I also, for the past three years have gone through the Bone-Eater's Well and freed a hanyou called Inuyasha that had been placed in a "sleep" for 50 years.
But that still didn't answer the one question I sought. What my soul told people, who people saw me as, who even I saw myself as. I wouldn't know, sitting in my desk chair my chin resting where my arms crossed, face upturned to my pictures pinned on my wall. There was this one picture that, to me, seemed to pop out in my face and say hey, I'm here if you need me. The same picture seemed to catch my attention and drown every little worry, every little want, everything, as I stared passively at the picture.
The picture showed me of a friend. A really good soulful friend. One friend that I have helped and received help back from for three years. The friend may not know it, but I see their looks of concern and fear when I ache or am unhappy. They may deny it when I mention anything about their exposing expressions, but I always see the soft look, though ashamed is somewhere there too, that they give off afterwards.
The present picture showed a soft look of this friend of three years and counting. So soft this look, that if I reached out and touched it, it would probably even feel soft. For I have never seen a more gentle nature than that of when my friend is sleeping. Even better and more calming, my friend sleeps within the protective limbs and leaves of a tree while in the rain. Somehow I seemed to catch this picture, before the pensive look is struck down and sliced with a scowl of utmost displeasure.
This friend is my protector, most times in physical, sometimes in emotional ways. When ever I am around my friend they seem to see into my very core and say whether I am okay or not. Whether I am injured or untouched. I have grown a deepest friendship bond for this person, namely speaking my friend. I might even have enough room to "love" them, so to speak. Though since I have no idea of what to think of my own soul, I have absolutely no idea of what to say of my "love" for this friend of mine. Whether strong or not, I have no earthly idea. All I know, for sure, is one thing....
He is my friend, Inuyasha. The same one I freed, the same one who protected me, the same one who I have been, unknowing to myself though it seems obvious to others except himself and I, watching and waiting for something from him for 2 years now. I don't know what it is I desire from him, but I know I want something. Something that keeps me striving to keep hope. Hoping for something that I know if I keep at it, it'll eventually begin as something I have no idea of yet.
I am slammed back into the reality from my lunging and twirling mind as I hear a sharp 'tap, tap, tap' on the glass of my window. I sighed heavily and turn around to the very subject of my tortured thoughts: Inuyasha. He looks at me impatience obvious in his deep amber eyes. The very eyes that I wish I could see with a soft look, instead of a hard as steel appearance. I set my usual demeanor, a smile and a, "Evening, Inuyasha." I await the yelling I was so sure was going to come...
It never came.
Inuyasha just stared with his usual scowl, but this time never returned a reply. His face slowly softened as he examined me, looking me over like a father would a child who just got their hands dirty and the child is purposely hiding this. My expression switched from a typical greeting standard to a questionable glance. He didn't answer my questioning eyes, instead just continued to look at me.
Getting slowly uncomfortable under his scrutiny, I asked warily, "Is there something wrong, Inuyasha?" He seemed to have been in a trance, shook his head and looked up at me.
"What, wench?" He replied. I scowled at him.
"Well, excuse me! All I asked was what is the matter, and what do you do? Insult me! I wish for once, Inuyasha, that you would just tell me what is on you mind, instead of hiding it from me!" I yelled. He seemed stung by that.
"Well, bitch! If I wanted to tell you, I would! I just think it's none of your damn business!"
"None of my damn business! Well, then tell me, oh, great Inuyasha, what was troubling you? Or better yet! Why were you looking at me instead of your normal ranting and raving at me?!" I retorted.
"Ummmm, uhhh, It's none of your damn business!" His 'oh-so- intelligent' reply came. I shook my head and glowered at the hanyou.
"For once I wish you would just talk to me, tell me how you feel. If you're tired, sad, lonely, depressed beyond all reason, whatever! But no! you have to keep it locked up tight within you! Rotting you from the inside out! Tearing you limb from limb!" I whispered harshly. Inuyasha looked taken back from this response. He expected me to yell at him some more then 'sit' him. He looked, in all other words, utterly and completely shocked.
"Why in all seven hells would you want to know my miseries? My pains? My happiness? My pleasures? My worries?" He queried quietly.
"Because, Inuyasha, it hurts me. To see anyone in pain, hurts me, but to see you in pain, it hits right here," I said softly, placing a hand on my chest. Right above my beating heart. There I said it, I thought, He now knows exactly how much I care for his stupid head. He just stared at me, his mouth agape.
He quickly realized his jaw hanging and closed it. He looked away, past me and his deep gaze settled on my pictures on the wall. He squinted his eyes in suspicion. He walked over to my desk, scooting past me with agility. What he didn't realize was his hair had gone array in his pursuit and had brushed my soft cheek. I blushed a light pink at the strand's softness and just watched his back as he looked curiously at my pictures. I gasped mentally at the realization that he was looking at my personal pictures. I also gave a mental slap to myself in realizing that he would surely see the picture of him sleeping in the rain.
If he did see it he gave no evidence of such. He turned around, eyed me for a moment or two then walked back to the window sill, his feet padding softly across the wooden flooring. He jumped on the sill with ease and turned to look at me expectantly. I stood there, my brain whirling and churning within itself. Thoughts processed and were instantly forgotten when the feel of a rough hand encased mine. I looked up at Inuyasha and looked at him, my eyes inquiring his actions.
"C'mon, Kagome. Let's go, the others are waiting for us at Kaede's," he simply said. No yelling, no harsh scowls, nothing. Just nonchalance and simple pensive feeling. I nodded numbly, embracing his neck as I sat aloft his structured back. His hands and arms instantly went around to hold my legs to keep me from falling. I smiled, unknowingly to him, at his utter kindness. I knew this wasn't the Inuyasha I knew, but I enjoyed the happy silence. He grabbed my bag that had been lying under the sill and gave me one glance to make sure I was okay.
"Feh, Let's go," and he jumped off the ledge. I felt the familiar feeling I always get while riding his back. As he jumped down I felt lightweight. As he ran towards the ancient well, I felt the muscles in his back, bulge and lengthen with every stride and every exhale and inhale of his constantly training lungs. I blushed unknowingly at the thought of actually getting to "ride" him. I shook my head of such thoughts. Not now, Kagome, not now. Not with him right under you, running to Kaede's! I thought harshly to my emotions. Unbeknownst to me, the hanyou was lost in his own tortured thoughts....
-Inuyasha's POV-
Did she mean what I think she means?! She really does care about me? And why does she have that picture of me sleeping? Does she like it, I wonder? And what the..?! Why is she getting so warm all of the sudden?! My mind churned. Unfortunately my questions went unanswered as we jumped into the old well. As it turned into the Warring States Era, I pushed her up to the lip of the now ivy covered well. I jumped out, landing beside her with hardly a sound. I ushered her towards Kaede's, my hand pushing ever so gently against the small of her back. I blushed in knowing of what I was doing.
I stared at her silently, without her knowing, trying to think of what she was currently thinking, watching her ebony hair wave in the wind as we walked. I smelled the sweet smell of roses and vanilla as the small breeze blew Kagome's hair in my direction. I really like that smell, when ever she used the stuff in a bottle called, "shampoo". In fact, I really like her. One question popped into my mind, I thought it was impossible, but still thought of it....
Does she like me? For me?
This question has turned over and over and over in my mind. Replaying itself and wondering if I should ever ask her that forbidden question. I silently sighed, knowing she probably didn't like a dirty, smelly, freak of a hanyou like me. She probably even hated me, revolted the very thought of thinking of being with me.
All she probably thought was that as soon as she helps me get done with the Shikon no Tama she would go back to her time and leave me forever. To wallow in my own misery. And yet...
That just didn't suit my secret admiration target, Kagome Higurashi. The future girl.
A little deep, but I like it. shrugs Please read and review! -Inuchickenpuppy
-Kagome's POV-
I sat at my desk, thinking, pondering, the wondrous and mysterious images swirling through my mind, confusing me, abusing me. These inquisitive and extraordinary thoughts sticking her to her seat like super glue. I wondered who the woman inside me....
I wondered if I knew who I really was.
For weeks, months, years even I wondered. Who am I really? Am I nice? Am I quiet? Am I mean? Am I a snob? Is this entire situation real? Is life even real? And if it is... where did I come from? Just basically it comes down to one, the ultimate, simple question which most people ask of themselves in desperate need of identity in an identity crisis...
Who am I?
I know of no one that could help me in this dilemma. Though coincidentally, unbeknownst to me, there is someone. Someone I just met 3 years ago, when I was 15. However, this remains to be hidden from not only my eyes, but their eyes as well. For I have never told anyone of my perplexity. I have always kept it hidden, within my tightly shut, highly guarded cell of my soul. My being.
I knew the basics of who I am. For example, my name is currently Kagome Higurashi, which will change when I do marry, I am now 18. I have a brother named Souta and a cat named Buyo. I also, for the past three years have gone through the Bone-Eater's Well and freed a hanyou called Inuyasha that had been placed in a "sleep" for 50 years.
But that still didn't answer the one question I sought. What my soul told people, who people saw me as, who even I saw myself as. I wouldn't know, sitting in my desk chair my chin resting where my arms crossed, face upturned to my pictures pinned on my wall. There was this one picture that, to me, seemed to pop out in my face and say hey, I'm here if you need me. The same picture seemed to catch my attention and drown every little worry, every little want, everything, as I stared passively at the picture.
The picture showed me of a friend. A really good soulful friend. One friend that I have helped and received help back from for three years. The friend may not know it, but I see their looks of concern and fear when I ache or am unhappy. They may deny it when I mention anything about their exposing expressions, but I always see the soft look, though ashamed is somewhere there too, that they give off afterwards.
The present picture showed a soft look of this friend of three years and counting. So soft this look, that if I reached out and touched it, it would probably even feel soft. For I have never seen a more gentle nature than that of when my friend is sleeping. Even better and more calming, my friend sleeps within the protective limbs and leaves of a tree while in the rain. Somehow I seemed to catch this picture, before the pensive look is struck down and sliced with a scowl of utmost displeasure.
This friend is my protector, most times in physical, sometimes in emotional ways. When ever I am around my friend they seem to see into my very core and say whether I am okay or not. Whether I am injured or untouched. I have grown a deepest friendship bond for this person, namely speaking my friend. I might even have enough room to "love" them, so to speak. Though since I have no idea of what to think of my own soul, I have absolutely no idea of what to say of my "love" for this friend of mine. Whether strong or not, I have no earthly idea. All I know, for sure, is one thing....
He is my friend, Inuyasha. The same one I freed, the same one who protected me, the same one who I have been, unknowing to myself though it seems obvious to others except himself and I, watching and waiting for something from him for 2 years now. I don't know what it is I desire from him, but I know I want something. Something that keeps me striving to keep hope. Hoping for something that I know if I keep at it, it'll eventually begin as something I have no idea of yet.
I am slammed back into the reality from my lunging and twirling mind as I hear a sharp 'tap, tap, tap' on the glass of my window. I sighed heavily and turn around to the very subject of my tortured thoughts: Inuyasha. He looks at me impatience obvious in his deep amber eyes. The very eyes that I wish I could see with a soft look, instead of a hard as steel appearance. I set my usual demeanor, a smile and a, "Evening, Inuyasha." I await the yelling I was so sure was going to come...
It never came.
Inuyasha just stared with his usual scowl, but this time never returned a reply. His face slowly softened as he examined me, looking me over like a father would a child who just got their hands dirty and the child is purposely hiding this. My expression switched from a typical greeting standard to a questionable glance. He didn't answer my questioning eyes, instead just continued to look at me.
Getting slowly uncomfortable under his scrutiny, I asked warily, "Is there something wrong, Inuyasha?" He seemed to have been in a trance, shook his head and looked up at me.
"What, wench?" He replied. I scowled at him.
"Well, excuse me! All I asked was what is the matter, and what do you do? Insult me! I wish for once, Inuyasha, that you would just tell me what is on you mind, instead of hiding it from me!" I yelled. He seemed stung by that.
"Well, bitch! If I wanted to tell you, I would! I just think it's none of your damn business!"
"None of my damn business! Well, then tell me, oh, great Inuyasha, what was troubling you? Or better yet! Why were you looking at me instead of your normal ranting and raving at me?!" I retorted.
"Ummmm, uhhh, It's none of your damn business!" His 'oh-so- intelligent' reply came. I shook my head and glowered at the hanyou.
"For once I wish you would just talk to me, tell me how you feel. If you're tired, sad, lonely, depressed beyond all reason, whatever! But no! you have to keep it locked up tight within you! Rotting you from the inside out! Tearing you limb from limb!" I whispered harshly. Inuyasha looked taken back from this response. He expected me to yell at him some more then 'sit' him. He looked, in all other words, utterly and completely shocked.
"Why in all seven hells would you want to know my miseries? My pains? My happiness? My pleasures? My worries?" He queried quietly.
"Because, Inuyasha, it hurts me. To see anyone in pain, hurts me, but to see you in pain, it hits right here," I said softly, placing a hand on my chest. Right above my beating heart. There I said it, I thought, He now knows exactly how much I care for his stupid head. He just stared at me, his mouth agape.
He quickly realized his jaw hanging and closed it. He looked away, past me and his deep gaze settled on my pictures on the wall. He squinted his eyes in suspicion. He walked over to my desk, scooting past me with agility. What he didn't realize was his hair had gone array in his pursuit and had brushed my soft cheek. I blushed a light pink at the strand's softness and just watched his back as he looked curiously at my pictures. I gasped mentally at the realization that he was looking at my personal pictures. I also gave a mental slap to myself in realizing that he would surely see the picture of him sleeping in the rain.
If he did see it he gave no evidence of such. He turned around, eyed me for a moment or two then walked back to the window sill, his feet padding softly across the wooden flooring. He jumped on the sill with ease and turned to look at me expectantly. I stood there, my brain whirling and churning within itself. Thoughts processed and were instantly forgotten when the feel of a rough hand encased mine. I looked up at Inuyasha and looked at him, my eyes inquiring his actions.
"C'mon, Kagome. Let's go, the others are waiting for us at Kaede's," he simply said. No yelling, no harsh scowls, nothing. Just nonchalance and simple pensive feeling. I nodded numbly, embracing his neck as I sat aloft his structured back. His hands and arms instantly went around to hold my legs to keep me from falling. I smiled, unknowingly to him, at his utter kindness. I knew this wasn't the Inuyasha I knew, but I enjoyed the happy silence. He grabbed my bag that had been lying under the sill and gave me one glance to make sure I was okay.
"Feh, Let's go," and he jumped off the ledge. I felt the familiar feeling I always get while riding his back. As he jumped down I felt lightweight. As he ran towards the ancient well, I felt the muscles in his back, bulge and lengthen with every stride and every exhale and inhale of his constantly training lungs. I blushed unknowingly at the thought of actually getting to "ride" him. I shook my head of such thoughts. Not now, Kagome, not now. Not with him right under you, running to Kaede's! I thought harshly to my emotions. Unbeknownst to me, the hanyou was lost in his own tortured thoughts....
-Inuyasha's POV-
Did she mean what I think she means?! She really does care about me? And why does she have that picture of me sleeping? Does she like it, I wonder? And what the..?! Why is she getting so warm all of the sudden?! My mind churned. Unfortunately my questions went unanswered as we jumped into the old well. As it turned into the Warring States Era, I pushed her up to the lip of the now ivy covered well. I jumped out, landing beside her with hardly a sound. I ushered her towards Kaede's, my hand pushing ever so gently against the small of her back. I blushed in knowing of what I was doing.
I stared at her silently, without her knowing, trying to think of what she was currently thinking, watching her ebony hair wave in the wind as we walked. I smelled the sweet smell of roses and vanilla as the small breeze blew Kagome's hair in my direction. I really like that smell, when ever she used the stuff in a bottle called, "shampoo". In fact, I really like her. One question popped into my mind, I thought it was impossible, but still thought of it....
Does she like me? For me?
This question has turned over and over and over in my mind. Replaying itself and wondering if I should ever ask her that forbidden question. I silently sighed, knowing she probably didn't like a dirty, smelly, freak of a hanyou like me. She probably even hated me, revolted the very thought of thinking of being with me.
All she probably thought was that as soon as she helps me get done with the Shikon no Tama she would go back to her time and leave me forever. To wallow in my own misery. And yet...
That just didn't suit my secret admiration target, Kagome Higurashi. The future girl.
A little deep, but I like it. shrugs Please read and review! -Inuchickenpuppy