So, I wrote a thing! I've never written Sam and Mercedes, or any Glee at all so this is all very new. I stopped watching Glee religiously after they botched the only part left that I actually cared about; my otp. How they could treat something so beautiful so carelessly I'll never know… but I had to tune in for the tribute episode. Alas, after watching The Quarterback I got major Samcedes feels and this little plot bunny wouldn't let me rest until I wrote something. This takes place during/after Rachel's solo, which I recommend watching if you haven't. I'm not a fan of hers by any means but that performance is completely heartbreaking.
Disclaimer: This story is for entertainment purposes only; Glee is obviously not mine and if it was, things would be… different. I'm also not Bob Dylan, just thought I'd clarify that.
When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love.
Mercedes couldn't bear to think of what Rachel must be feeling right now, how much she was hurting, what she had lost. She'd say that she couldn't even imagine it, but that would be a lie. She could imagine it. The truth was she couldn't stop imagining it. What would she have done if it had been him? That was when she broke, allowing the tears to flow freely down he cheeks as she wrapped her arms around herself trying to keep the sobs from taking over her entire body.
When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.
She cried for the glee club, forever altered without its leader. She cried for her friends, lost and confused without their fallen friend. She cried for Rachel, heartbroken and overwhelmed with grief for the love of her life. Most of all she cried for Finn, the young soul taken from this world far too soon. The news of his death had been a shock to all of them, and the way that he died had been as distressing as it was surprising. She never knew. None of them did, and she didn't know if it would have mattered if they did. He was gone now, and they were left to pick up the pieces. She would always regret being so blind that she didn't see him struggling and not helping him to get the help he needed. He didn't deserve to die the way he had, alone and without any support. Finn was her friend, and he was their leader; she had mourned him for nearly a month and would continue to carry that grief for the rest of her life; Finn's death was supposed to hurt as bad as it did. What she wasn't expecting, however, was the way it made he feel about him. She had tried her best for the last year not to feel anything about him; it was too raw and hurt too much. She tried to shut it all out and move one, but she never quite succeeded and didn't know if that was something she would ever be able to do; she loved him with every fiber of her being, and she hated him with all of her heart.
I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
But I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong.
Mercedes glanced around the choir room appreciating the innate support system of the glee club; nearly everybody had someone to lean on and she was glad for that. She looked over to her left to see Blaine, his face swollen and tearstained, gazing upon Kurt with plain love as they grasped each other's hands firmly. That gave Mercedes some solace, Kurt wouldn't be alone in whatever he was feeling because he had Blaine and would always have him. Mercedes looked at Tina, Mike, and Artie sitting in the row in front of her. Tina held Mike and Artie's hands tightly in her lap as she shook with silent grief. Their hands were a lifeline, a tether to the earth and she was holding on for dear life. Tina had been in relationships with both of them, but that hadn't stopped them from comforting one another in their hour of need. Mercedes was happy for Tina that she could have genuine friendships with her two exes. She looked to her far left to see Jake, Marley, Ryder, Unique, and Kitty. They didn't know Finn as well as the rest of the club, but that didn't mean that they loved him any less, Mercedes knew. She was glad that they had come so far and could lean on each other; they were the new glee club now and they needed to be there for each other. Mr. Schue was seated alone and off to the side, looking pensive. Regardless of their own issues, Mercedes gave Schue major props; he had been their rock for the past month and was continuing to be strong even now. The bond between Schue and Finn had been more like father and son than teacher and student, almost to the point of weirdness, so Mercedes was happy that he had more students in need of his guidance. He would be fine as long as he had the glee club; he needed them almost as much as they needed him.
I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.
Then there was Rachel, barely making it through her song and clutching her necklace tightly. Mercedes had never felt as connected to the Broadway-bound, self-described ingénue as she did in that moment. They had never been the best of friends, they had even been outright foes at times, but in that moment the Rachel she had known wasn't the Rachel in front of her. She wasn't bossy, control-freak Rachel, or overly-ambitious and self-centered Rachel. She was just Rachel who wanted her other half back. She was just a lonely girl, desperately missing her love, wanting only to be held by him and have him tell her that everything would be alright. But she would never have that again, at least not with the man she wanted. Mercedes could certainly empathize with that feeling, but it was so much more final for Rachel. Mercedes couldn't stop picturing herself in Rachel's shoes and she didn't know how she could ever move on. There was no moving on when you possessed the knowledge that the man you loved died not knowing exactly how you felt about him; that he was the brightest spot of your life and completely irreplaceable. She didn't know how you could go on not knowing if he knew that you would always love him, no matter what happened, or that he was cared for by someone who couldn't help but love him and chose to support him all at the same time. Finn never heard any of that from Rachel, and Mercedes could easily imagine how that regret would eat her up for the rest of her life. Life really was too short not to tell people how you felt about them while you still had the time.
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
The winds of change are blowing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.
Mercedes heard a choking sob behind her and recognized the person it belonged to instinctively. She had heard it before, but it pulled violently at her heartstrings all the same. She wanted absolutely nothing more than to go to him. She wanted to hold him like she had before, before things got too messy. She had held him once, as he had held her so many times; those moments were some of the best of her life. The chaos, stress, and sadness just seemed to melt away when they embraced; they became a world unto themselves, impenetrable by outside forces. Mercedes physically ached thinking about how much she still needed him even now, especially now.
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love.
She subtly glanced behind her chair at him, he was crying into Santana's embrace as she held him tightly resting her cheek on the top of his head. His pain was palpable to Mercedes, his sadness seeming to swallow her whole. And that was when her heart broke for him again. Whether that was the fifth or fiftieth time, Mercedes didn't know; she had lost count long ago. She wanted desperately to erase all of his pain, but she had learned the hard way that that just wasn't possible. After all they had been through together she didn't know if she had any of her heart left to break. It broke for him when his family had so publicly fallen on hard times, when she had turned down his constant advances in senior year, when she had told him that they couldn't be together despite how much she loved him, and when she had heard about his self-doubt after his disastrous SAT scores. It broke for them when he came to her with the news of his family's impending relocation and most recently when she had move to Los Angeles, ending their relationship for a second time. Yet, what hurt most was when her heart broke from seeing him with Brittany so soon after they had parted ways, that had made her feel so many unpleasant things that she had been unwilling to face since. The worst part about all of it was that she couldn't let go or move on. Not while so many things were left unsaid. She didn't want to end up like Rachel someday; she needed to tell him everything. Her heart, shriveled broken mess though it was, would always belong to him. True, it was too late for Rachel and Finn, but it wasn't too late for Sam to know how she felt.
To make you feel my love.
This was supposed to be a one-shot but the song lined up perfectly with the chapter breaks I had for the first part, so I'm taking that as a sign that the rest should be in a second chapter. I'll post that soon, it actually has dialogue in it!
Obviously this isn't finished yet but I would love any feedback, so please don't hesitate to review!