(A big Thank you for Our Bleeding Shadow who came up with this name, and for the awesome relatsonship between Axel and Mervil, check out her story Deep Inside!)

Some say the world will end in fire.

Some in ice.

From what I know to be disire, I should hold with those who favor fire.

But if I should parish twice

I think I know enough of hate,

That ice is also nice

And would Safice. ~Robert Frost, Fire and ICe

I stand up, pushing my hair out of my eye's the light glistening on the fresh dew drops, the sunlight seemingly dancing through the holes in the tree's. I take a deep breath, I know I shouldn't be nervous, not here in the meadow, our meadow. I sit on the swing that Axel and I had put in a while ago. I swing just barely, bending my knee's in and out, not enough to get up in the air. The bruise from, last night on my elbow, concealed by my usual turtle neck. I keep my head down, my brown hair in my eyes again, James, my adoptive father, had made me dye it since I was adopted. I close my eyes I've been trying to block out the memory, my brother and I, hiding watching a man with yellow eye's and gray hair killing mum and dad, when he left was the worse part, he sat where their bodies once were, I was always confused why black mist left their body's until there was no more of them. Isa and I sat in their blood, getting it all over us, just staring at each other. After what seemed like ages, two people in suits (even the women!) and tight expressions took us away to different homes. We didn't have a clue what was going on, so there was a lot of screaming and fighting, but in the end, the two up tight people won, and I have never seen Isa since.

I feel someone else behind me, but I am too deep in my spacing out to care.

"Paying attention to the inside of your eye lids again"

"GAHH" I scream jumping off the swing facing him and falling hard on the ground then laughed " Axel you jerk you made me fall"

He rolls his eyes chuckling " well, you know ' Jerk' is my middle name." he gives the goofiest of grins, as he offers me a hand up. I take it and pull him down. After a long fit of laughter, and all the birds fly away, leaving the pleasant frantic, flutter of wings.

After a while Axel Jumps up and climbs a tree and offers me a hand up.

"I donno" I say softly " we could fall, and break our necks "

"They'll figure a way to save us" he shrugged "Besides your dad is a Doctor"

I most likely look unsure still because that's how I feel, that and Axel chuckles stretching his hand out farther.

"C'mon, I wont let anything hurt you…..ever" he smiled

I hesitate, but then I take his hand, he is the only one I trust. I climb up to where he is. He grins as he takes out a star shape fruit out of his bag " so you know how my mom and dad went to destiny islands" he grinned

" uhhh duh, it's all you talked about for months on end, how it wasn't fair and what have you" I grin teasing him.

He chuckled slightly "anyways they brought me back this weird fruit, I thinks they said it's called papou fruit" he said I look at the star shaped fruit. I lean in and inhale deeply. I smiled happily

" wow" I say softly " it smells amazing."

He nodded only slightly " If we share it, our destiny will be intertwined, we'll be friends forever!" he brakes off half " A winning team, you" and hands one to me "And me"

I take it gratefully. Axel takes a huge bite chewing, then swallowed " blarg fruit" he shutters. I take a small bite. And my eyes widen, this has to be the most amazing fruit I have ever had. Sweet, and juicy. The sweet isn't over powering, and there's another taste to it too, but I can't place it quite.

"I think it's very good, thank you Axel " I grin looking out. I don't really want to go home, I don't exactly like what's waiting for me. Axel looks at me and bit his lip.

"School's going to be out soon" he notes

"Yeah, got any big plans?" I ask softly, I know I didn't.

"well uhh yeah" he said rubbing his neck " I mean, if you don't have plans, which I'm sure you do, I mean you have a really fun family!" I feel bad when he said that. Every thing I said, we did, to cover up what had really happened. It was Lucas's idea, so we didn't have to leave James.

"yeah" I chuckled nervously "so much, but no we don't this summer."

"Maybe you and I could go to Twilight Town!" he grinned " Just for the day….But my parents tell me it's awesome! Shops, café's, bakery's, and this new little business, that sell's Sea-Salt ice cream-whatever that is- and it has a carnival all summer long!"

I blink unsure what to say, no way James would let me go…

"Just for one day, I've never been, and I know you haven't… so maybe… if you want… I think it would be fun"

"I'll ask my dad's but I'd love to!" I grin

"Great" he grins, then looks at me "your still a vegetation. Right?" he asked

I nod, I'm not really, but I'm really thin ( not that I mind) but Axel's dad is always asking

'When are you gonna get meat on those bones?!' fallowed by laughter…. It's not that James doesn't feed me… He does! It's just that, every month or so, he locks me in my room for the weekend, no food…and sometimes my nerves get so tense when I'm around him, or after he beats and or rapes me, I vomit up all the food in my stomach, and I can't even look at food for days… " yeah" I smile weakly, I hate all the lies I have to tell him, all the deceit….From him, Axel, my best friend for Crying out loud! Everytime I tell this to Lucas , he reminds me that if even one person knows I'll be taken away, and I'll never see him again. So I keep on lying, keep on with the cover stories.

" Yeah" I nod "why"

" just wondering" he shrugs climbing down.

I blink climbing down after him jumping down after I got a safe distance to the ground. Then I walk over to my back pack and get homework out.

"we don't have to do homework just yet" Axel said putting his arms behind his head laying down. "it's such a nice day, lets just nap…napping sounds nice"

I roll my eyes " nah, you nap, I'll study"

"Oh right" he chuckles "I forgot, all play makes mervil a nervous wreck!" he jokes.

" ha-ha" I say sarcastically " I just like to get work done so I can relax latter."

But the truth is, is that James pushes me hard. I remember last week, when I got home and I had gotten a 'F' one assignment, not that it matters, I mean what does it matter? Were not even in high school (we are next year) but oh well. Any way's I was tip towing in to my room, I had just gotten back from the meadow, and I feel a sharp hand on my shoulder a turn me around. Clawing my shoulder grabbing my back pack, and dig around grabbing a piece of paper, my heart races faster then words can say, all time stands still. I wait, wondering what he'll do to me. I swallow hard looking everywhere but in his cold, dead, black eyes. Slowly he does something I don't expect, he shrugs crumples the paper and walks away. Relived I don't question him, I run up to my room having the foolish hope. That maybe, just maybe, he's turned over a new leaf, he isn't going to do this crap anymore. I jump on my bed grinning hugging a pillow. To my horror he came, with a scalpel, and two tourniquets. See James is a doctor from home. Our world doesn't have hospitals, only houses that one or two doctors live in. anyways he shut the door locking it behind him, I swallow hard, this can never be good. He slowly sets them down and pins me down on my bed and starts hitting me, hard, harder then he ever has, once he is done. He ties the tourniquets on may arm "you are nothing" he snarls into my ear and cuts my arm slowly. Tears build in my eyes as I know he is right, but the cut that, produces no blood hurts worse. He cuts longer again " you will never amount to anything. You are pathetic and stupid, you can't even do the one thing your semi-okish at!" then he starts to cut my neck.

I shutter pulling up my turtle neck sleeve looking at the scar from it " I think I'll call it Fred." I mutter softly. Axel looks up from a comic book, "hrm" he asked and looked at me.

"Nothing!" I say defensively pushing my sleeve down quickly.

"But if you cut yourself, it could be infected, your dad should really have a look at it, you could get really sick" After I assure him that I am just fine I look at my clock and tell him I should really go. Of coarse he is disappointed but doesn't say anything. I pack up my homework I had already done and throw my bag on my shoulders then I point my finger at him "No. Fires" I say, he opens his mouth to protest, I'm sure, but then shuts it and closes his mouth sighing " I'd better walk you home, my dad say's he's seen some creep in a long black coat creeping around, I hate for anything bad for you to happen…I mean creeps like that, I mean they rape" he says the word as if it was the worst word possible, to me, it's a possibility for everyday life. " I mean, your just so….so…pure"

Pure…HA! That's a real laugh.

"No" I say meekly "really. I'll be fine"

Axel is already beside me "that's not for you to decide. " he said matter-o- fact. I sigh as we walk in silence until we get to my house. He hugs me tightly, stunned I hug him back. Then he runs across the street and into his house. I walk in and James is waiting for me. He is reading a newspaper. How disgustingly normal, it almost makes me think I have walked into the wrong house. James looks at me, then back to the paper, I can hear Lucas puttering around in the kitchen. I slowly set my back down and go to my room, not wanting to break the silence, that is here. Almost sacred this is, no storm approaching I've done everything that he wanted, done good in school. I've not made any snide remarks. I have no reason to be beat, so there's no since before the storm, and I haven't been beaten, so the only thing I can hear are my tears. Then when I flop on the ground I relize what day it is. Friday….Tonight would start out great for any other home in our tiny little town, but not here. Tonight we will eat pizza, play a game or-if James wants to- two, watch a movie, then Lucas will excuse himself for his nightly walk, exactly two hours he will be gone, that is enough for James to do whatever he wants to my body, me to stop crying, and James to be back downstairs. I don't know why I'm so sad, it's happened ever since I can remember. It's just…I guess because no man will ever be my 'first' not technically, I will never get a first kiss with a boy I like, but will never marry, I will never ever, ever be able to give my 'purity' to a boy….never. A tear rolls down my cheek, and I am amost about to cry. I wish I could shut my door all the way with out locking myself in…so I leave it wide open for the world to see, and I cry.

Later that night we are eating pizza, silence. I would normally find this bliss but I know what is to fallow "dads" I say softly "Axel and I really, really want to go to Twilight Town this summer, just for a day, I would really like to, please dad…please may I go"

Four eyes are on me, the heat in this room is horrible, I can hear our clock ticking, mocking me, the seconds feeling like hours, my gut churns. Lucas looks at who really matters in this house, and he rubs his smooth chin " hrmm" he said looking at me, I quickly look away. "Sure" he grunts " If you must, but your earning your muuny for food and souvenirs, not around the house, that's the maids job, find it somewhere else"

I could scream with joy, I must be grinning pretty big, because Lucas laughs slightly. The rest of the night seems to fly by, even when Jame's rapes me because all I can think about is I'm going to Twilight Town with my best friend, I could die! After James is done and he leaves me climb out of bed turn off the light and snuggle under the one blanket James had given to me a few years about, it stinks (he wont let Lucas wash it) and it has a few holes in it, but it's still better then nothing, and I sleep the best sleep I have in forever. Ever since I can remember my dreams have been laced in poison, but tonight I dreamt nothing at all. The next Monday I jump out of bed and get all ready, my turtle neck, to hot for this time of year, but if I didn't wear it, I'd be taken away. When I got to school my first class is science with Axel. The teacher was stupid enough to seat us together. He looks at me

" so can you?" he wisperd

" you bet!" i grin, i almost laugh. He looks at me, "let's sleep in the meadow" he says.

I hope this will rerail quickly. " I donno if my dads' would let me" i say softly

a micevious grin in his face " who says they have to know?" he smirks.

I shrug and pay attention to the teacher once the bell rings its shrill ring, giveing me a spittling headache. I chew on my bottom way this can be good.