Song lyrics by: Weird Al
Fic by: CCT
Author's Notes: I did this fic a looooong time ago! It was for a contest on the 1x3ml. It was kinda fun and I actually one a prize… I think. It's been so long~ I'll have to go check about that! Hahaha!
Warnings: This is shonen ai with the pairing of 1x3. (Heero and Trowa) And probably some OOCness. ^^
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|Key|
[song lyrics]
//tv\\
=*=*=
[I used to think my life was so empty,
I used to think life was passing me by.
I was just about ready,
To curl up and die.
But one day I got a visit,
From the cable company,
They hooked me up, plugged me right in,
And now I've got cable TV.]
Trowa flopped onto the couch, clad in black boxers and a white tank top, and frowned. He was bored. Well, correction, he was always bored and today was no different.
It was Saturday and Trowa had absolutely nothing to do. Heero was off on a special assignment for the Preventers, probably wouldn't be back until early Monday morning, and Trowa had the apartment all to himself. It wasn't unusual for Trowa to be left alone on the weekend, which was probably one of the reasons he was always bored.
Trowa scanned the area and sighed heavily. He didn't know what to do. After a few minutes of staring ahead at the TV in front of him, he noticed a black box set atop of the TV. Trowa cocked his head and stared at the box. 'Wonder what that…oh, right. Heero said he got Cable put in a few days ago…Geeze, working at the circus like this is rotting my brain. I don't even know what goes on in my own home.'
Shrugging his shoulders Trowa leaned forward and picked up the remote lying on the coffee table.
[And so I get to watch...
The stock report in Korean,
Midget wrestling on channel 3,
It costs me fifty bucks a month just to see 'em,]
Trowa turned on the TV, noticing a panel on the front of the cable box also turned on. The number it displayed was "2". Sighing Trowa watched as the picture cleared on the TV.
//Today on CBS New-\\ Trowa shuddered and quickly pushed the "up" arrow and the number on the box changed to "3".
//And coming up next, on PBS, is the Teletubies-\\ Trowa pushed the up button quickly once more.
'I am not watching that!' Trowa thought to himself, 'I am not *that* bored!'
[Yeah, but that's OK with me....
I got cable TV (cable TV),
Cable TV (cable TV),
Eighty-three channels of ecstasy,
I love my cable TV yeah,
Love my cable TV.]
Two hours later Trowa was stopped on channel "17". For some odd reason he liked the show that was on, and there was a short marathon of them running.
//Ben, are you sure about this?\\
//Yeah.\\
//But, Ben…this is crazy.\\
//So?\\
//Mr. Matlock?\\
"Don't talk to that slut! She's the killer!" Trowa shrieked, and then blushed. 'I am talking to the TV…'
//Yes?\\
//Can I speak to you over ~here~?\\
"No! Matlock! You…" Trowa's eyes widened. 'I'm doing it again…' Trowa slowly looked around the room. 'Wait, no one's here. Why should I care if I yell, no one will hear me.'
*-*-*-*
Now, three hours later, Trowa was barely on channel "20" out of "102". Trowa took a sip of his Coca Cola, a drink that he hadn't had in almost three years. For some reason he had the urge to have one, and has been drinking them for the past two hours. (Four in total) Trowa's eyes beamed as he the next show began.
//Hey kids, are you ready?\\
"//Aye, aye Captain!\\" Trowa and the kids on the TV screamed. He had seen three episodes to this show, already, and he was loving it.
//I can't hear you!\\
"//Aye, aye Captain!!\\" Trowa couldn't help but smile as the "Pirate" in the cartoon began to sing the theme to "SpongeBob Squarepants".
Trowa suddenly looked up at the clock on the wall; it was a little after six. He frowned. 'I'm hungry, maybe I should order some pizza or something.
[I got the Siamese Faith Healer's Network,
The news and weather from Peru,
I got celebrity hockey,
And racquetball channel two.
Bug Bunny direct from Atlanta,
Mr. Wizard is on at five.
I've got a satellite dish on the trunk of my car
So I can watch MTV while I drive.]
Trowa propped his feet up on the coffee table, the box of pizza sitting across his lap. He bit into the slice he had in his hand as he looked at the clock on the wall. It was a little after midnight.
//Welcome to Toonami, the Midnight run.\\ Trowa's eyes widened as he watched the cool graphics of the opening to the next show.
He had made up to the channel numbered "54". It seemed there was going to be some cartoons coming on next and Trowa couldn't wait.
//DBZ is next.\\
'DBZ? Wonder what that is?' Trowa watched, a little curious, as a commercial of the up coming show appeared on the TV screen. Then he frowned, 'That seems kinda…boring.'
*-*-*-*
Twenty minutes later…
"Go Goku! Come on! This Freeza person doesn't seem all that tough!" Trowa was practically through his arms in the air yelling for the Saiyan to hurry up and defeat the other guy. Suddenly Trowa stopped and cocked his head. "Wonder if Freeze is a guy or…a girl…" Trowa frowned and then made a funny face. "Better be a guy."
[I'm talking 'bout,
Real quality programs.
The type you just can't get for free,
Now I'm never gonna leave my apartment,
Cos there's just so much for me to see,
On my cable TV (cable TV),]
Three hours later Trowa made his way to channel "72". He watched in awe at the operation that was happening before his eyes.
It was what the station called reality TV. They were showing a man getting his appendix removed. Trowa was fascinated at how the cameras were angled around the room. He could see inside the man so clearly Trowa thought he was in the operating room himself.
*-*-*-*
Now on channel "97", seven hours later, Trowa was still sitting on the couch. His eyes were red and bags were beginning to appear under his eyes. He yawned slightly and rubbed his eyes.
'Maybe I should go to bed…It's already four in the morning.' Trowa frowned as he scanned the area. There was an empty pizza box thrown on the floor, along with ten or twelve cans of Coca Cola, a bag of Ruffles, two boxes of cookies and a half eaten Twinkie.
Trowa yawned once more. He quickly decided that he was gonna check the next channel and then head for bed. He pushed the up button and the channel changed to "98".
//…Playgirl channel…\\ Trowa's eyes widened slightly; then a devilish smile crept across his face.
'Well, well, well…'
[Cable TV (cable TV),
Yeah, if you have a problem you know where I'll be:
Watching my cable TV, yeah,
Watching my cable TV]
Heero, tried and grumpy, trudged into the house. He quickly dropped his briefcase next to the door, ignoring the fact that one of the snaps had opened. He was dressed in a business suit that was a little crumpled from the trip home. The tie around his neck was now hanging loosely.
As Heero stretched, he felt something different about his surroundings. Heero looked around slowly noticing a light coming from the den. Heero frowned slightly as he checked his watch; it was a little after three in the morning.
Heero quickly made his way to the den and almost gasped at what he saw.
[My friends they're getting kinda worried,
They think I'm turning into some kind of freak.
But they're just jealous,
Cos I've seen 'Porky's' twenty-seven times this week
On my cable TV (cable TV),]
Heero rushed to the door and opened it up. Standing on the other side of the door was Duo, Wufei and Quatre. Quatre looked at Heero worriedly, Wufei looked at him with a little bit of concern, where as Duo looked as if he was about to bust in fits of giggles.
Heero quickly ushered the three in and began to talk to them quickly.
Quatre and Wufei gave each other a quick glance before Wufei turned to nod at Heero.
Heero nodded back before turning to head back to the den.
*-*-*-*
"He's been like that all weekend?" Duo asked, leaning forward to look at Trowa.
Heero nodded slowly as he looked his lover over once more. Trowa's hair was mussed up, tiny hairs sticking out here and there. He was still in his black boxers and white tank, which was now stained with soda and what seemed to be some sort of sauce. A slightly starting of a beard had begun to grow on his face and his eyes had dark bags underneath them. Trowa was sitting in the middle of the couch, Indian style his legs tucked underneath him.
"This is sad, man."
"I know."
"And he can't hear us?"
"Seems like it." Slowly a wide and mischievous grin appeared on Duo's face. "Trowa?" Trowa didn't even blink. "Hey, Tro!" Duo had leaned forward and yelled into Trowa's ear, but again there was no response. "Sad…"
[Cable TV (cable TV),
The greatest thing that ever happened to me,
I love my cable TV, yeah,
I need my cable TV.
Can't live without my cable TV, yeah
Watching my cable TV.]
Trowa sat there in a daze, he didn't know what day it was, or what time, and he didn't care. Ed, Edd n' Eddy was on, and that's all that mattered to him at the moment.
Slowly a smile crept across his face as the show began, but it disappeared in an instant as the TV went blank. Panicking, Trowa fumbled for the remote and began pushing buttons frantically.
Heero and Duo rushed over to Trowa, prying the remote from his hands. It was then that Trowa realized he wasn't alone. Trowa's eyes widened as he realized the TV hadn't been turned off; it had been disconnected.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
==end!===