Hullo, this is quite obviously my first Klaine fanfiction, so forgive me if it's shaky on their characters. Pfft, this story was supposed to end with Blaine dying because I have sick twisted mind and I love to hate angst and hate to love it. And instead it comes out all pathetically sickly sweet. Yuck.
• • • • • •
Blaine let a whispered breath push the steam of his coffee across the table; he watched it drift slowly towards the other side before dispersing. He felt his eyes drifting to that of his companion. Kurt's glasz eyes were glassy with unshed tears and Blaine knew then he was too late on the uptake and too soon to make a move. He gave Kurt a soft, cut off smile, held his hand gently, and wish vehemently that Kurt could see through him for once, could understand that he wasn't strong enough. The he couldn't make Kurt happy.
• • •
When Kurt got a boyfriend Blaine's heart was heavy and sick, and he locked himself up in his room for hours afterwards, writing song after song, but none of them held the emotion he was feeling. The feeling of regret itched in his throat, and made his eyes sting with bitter tears. Still, he didn't cry, and later on that night when he got a text from Kurt, telling him just how brilliant his night was, he texted back a simple
"I'm glad he makes you happy."
And that was that.
• • •
When Kurt invited him on one of their outings, he politely declined with his perfect ("Practiced." A voice hissed in his head.) smile on his face. He was as put together and dapper as usual, not a hair out of place in its gelled hold on his head, his uniform neat and pressed; his shoes shined to perfection.
No one noticed just how dead his eyes were, the typical liquid, smoldering hazel was frozen inside out by the permanent winter frost that worked itself out from his heart to his skin. When David and Wes started to notice, Blaine understood then that he needed to keep his appearance up. He couldn't let them see how broken he was. Just how late he was, he was too late.
"Too late," his thoughts tangled under one main idea.
"As long as he's happy."
• • •
Blaine watched stiffly as his three closest friends. They were discussing his clipped, odd, behavior. He knew he wasn't being subtle anymore. But he felt no need to continue to hide something so bitter that it was poisoning him. Kurt's face was twisted into a worried frown, Blaine wanted to do nothing else but kiss it away, but that wasn't his place. He was too late.
And for the first time in a long time, Blaine let a broken sob push up from his chest, from his air deprived lungs and his sick, heavy heart. Wes' head whipped around and his eyes widened as he spotted Blaine. It was all he could do to not flee as Wes' gestured to him, before rushing towards him; Kurt was hot on his trail; David was gapping at him with open distress.
Blaine shook where he stood; tears fell from his eyes with vigor. He turned around and hunched his shoulders together. He desperately tried to make himself smaller, to protect his already broken heart from more aches. Wes turned him around, his eyes spoke of panic, and yet, just as he opened his mouth to speak, Kurt pushed in front of him. Blaine stared at the beautiful boy through his tears, he took in the worried expression, his heavy panic; Blaine let out a shuddering sob and Kurt just pulled him into his arms, held him in an embrace he would never feel again.
For a moment, Blaine pretended he was the one Kurt loved, the one Kurt wanted.
For a moment, Blaine was okay.
• • •
They were having a coffee break together again. God knows they hadn't had one in a long time. Blaine smiled crookedly, but something was off in his eyes. They talked like they used to. A heavy tenseness hung between them like a web.
When their cheap Styrofoam coffee cups were almost empty, and they had lapsed into a false comfortable silence. Blaine took in the warmth of Kurt's eyes as they regarded him, he took in the way his skin was flushed softly from the steam of the coffee, his blue, green, grey, liquid perfect eyes regarded him with softness.
Blaine soaked up his last moment with Kurt.
"I love you."
A shocked look, a crooked smile, and Blaine was out of the shop, in his car and driving in the opposite direction of Dalton.
• • •
Kurt was panicking. He was panicking. His boyfriend tried to hold him, but an angry undercurrent bled out in the faulty comfort. Kurt stared at Wes and David with wide eyes.
Where was Blaine? Was he hurt? Did someone hurt him? Was he okay?
Kurt pushed away from his boyfriend's futile attempts to comfort him. He picked up his cell phone and attempted to call Blaine (Again...) when his phone was pushed out of his hand, his boyfriends face loomed in front of his,
Deep breaths, you're not there anymore, you're not there. You're safe.
You'renotthereanymore.
He was snarling at him, telling him they were over, that Kurt didn't care about anyone but Blaine (Oh God wherewasBlaine.) and that there was no point in him dating anyone if he was so in-love with him.
You'renotthereYou'rehereYou'renotthereYou'rehereYou'renotthereYou'renotthereYou'renotthere.
He'sNotHere.
Kurt's phone sang out loudly, and dully everyone notes its Teenage Dream.
When Kurt scrambled for the phone, no one else moved.
Because Kurt knows. That's his ringtone. They know too. They all know.
He took a shuddering breath, answered.
Blaine's voice was heard lowly around the room, and Kurt let out a sob in relief.
No one was surprised to hear Kurt sob over and over again.
". Oh God I love you."
Blaine's voice shuddered out softly from the phone.
Kurt's smile is watery.
• • •
When Blaine rushes into the room, he's a mess. He isn't prim and proper. His hair is curly and wild, his hazel eyes glassy with unshed tears. His eyes are rimmed red, and tear tracks are already streaking down his face from previous tears. He's in a t-shirt and loose jeans, barefooted and yet
Kurt thought
He's never been so beautiful.
His chest heaves with heavy breaths.
There's silence
Kurt takes a shuddery breath, his own eyes rimmed with red, eyes just as glassy, hair just as imperfect, clothes wrinkled and folded.
Blaine's arms wrap around him with a rushed gentle strength.
Kurt's never felt so at home and safe.
He hears the shuddery breaths escaping from Blaine's throat, Kurt clings tighter.
Kurt uses his barely noticeable inch of height over Blaine to his advantage. He fists hand in Blaine's hair with an almost angry passion and pulls his head back. He stares into the melted, smoldering hazel liquid that's Blaine's eyes. He reads the vulnerability, the love, the passion, he reads the hurt and loss.
Kurt kisses him passionately on the mouth. The kiss is intimate, so much that those surrounding them feel like they're intruding on something so greatly private, and yet they're frozen in place. They're softly surprised at Kurt's aggressive behavior.
When Kurt pulls away, and stares down at Blaine, who's eyes are overflowing with tears once again.
Kurt speaks in an angry tone.
"Don't you ever do that to me, to us, again."
Blaine's smile is watery and lovely.