Stefan's confession
They say love is painful. They were right. Love has never been anything but painful for me. Painful and wonderful all at the same time. Full of warmth and pride mixed with a good measure of guilt regret.
It started with our parents. Our mom died young my father my brother and I were all alone.
I was easy and calm. I was a hard worker and a polite young man. I craved my father's love and pride and achieved it easily. I was proud to bare his name, proud to be the apple of his eye. But it didn't make me happy. It could never make me happy because my brother was miserable. It was never easy for them. They were like oil and water. It was clear who was favored and the guilt began.
It continued through the years. He became more callous, more rebellious. He refused to settle down even as he grew well past twenty years. He drank to excess and engaged in inappropriate activates. He would take me along, he would attempt to corrupt me in my father's eyes. Bring me down a peg as he would say now. But little did he know I enjoyed these excursions immensely as quiet and wide eyed as I may have been.
He would be chastised never me and the guilt and pain, the tear between the fabric of our relationship only grew.
She came along in a horse and buggy in a beautiful gown. She entranced us with her captivating ways and beautiful looks. We fought for her until we fought to save her. She tore us apart shred by shred and we were too dumbstruck to stop her. We died for her me on accident. But he died intentionally and I once again realized I had taken something he honestly thought was his. I forced his hand. I made him turn with me. I didn't want to be alone. I couldn't bare it and I never was. As much as he hated me and made my life hell he was always around somewhere.
Now...now he's standing in front of me and he's broken. He's humbled and he's ready to die. I pretend I don't know. I attempt to keep up the light banter. But I see it clear as day in his eyes. He knows I know he loves her. What he doesn't know is that I know he's planning to die for her. I try to pretend its not true but I know it is.
She is worth dying for unlike the first woman. She is sweet and kind and giving. She stayed with me through the worst of times. She fights whatever feelings she has for him and she does it for me. Because she loves me. She is too selfless to consider being another thorn between us. The ironic thing is she has been putting us back together again. We fight side by side for her again and again.
But everything she is to me, the love of my life my second chance. It pales...I admit that it actually pales in comparison to what she is to him. She is his humanity she is his light. I don't know when he fell in love with her. I just always knew it was going to happen. What I didn't expect is what it would mean and how it would end.
She's to selfless to consider her feelings for him and deep down I don't think he feels worthy enough of her to really put up the fight we both know I would lose. He will continue to fight with me for her and watch in pain from the sidelines while I pretend not to notice and she tries to act like it doesn't make her feel guilty. Until the day comes that my brother dies to spare her and I get my happily after ever.
I could do something, I should do something. But I'm not like them, I'm selfish and I'm not willing to give her up.
~Stefan