Disclaimer:
Stacey belongs to Stacey.
Izzy belongs to Izzy.
Sarah belongs to Sarah.
The Sandrus monster is my own creation. Any similarity to people living or dead is purely coincidental. Oh and JKR owns the rest of them, with my own tweaks.
"Stalin or Butler?" was the main question asked by Stacey.
"Who would you rather endure, death by boredom, or through repression."
Stacey turned to her friends in their small room in york. Izzy, surrounded by pencil rubbings looked up from her maths papers.
Turning her attention to one of the defaced pictures of Mr Way, she mused her thoughts finally picking the idea of "I'd rather sit 6 hours worth of maths then listen to either of them" and returned to yelling at her calculator.
Sitting in the sink, Stacey looked at Sarah and asked the same question.
"Stalin, but don't ask me why" Sarah replied, followed by the inevitable.
"Why" asked Stacey again.
Before there was a chance to answer a loud booming noise came from down the corridor. Sandrus Fortus was migrating, called to the hour known as 'Cofficus'.
The noise grew louder as it reached its prize, followed by the mating call. A high pitch screech, registered above human hearing, and only recognised by a small vibration in the ear, much like the Nazgul.
Shutting the door did not help. The sound penetrated every room in the building and shook its very foundations. Only through the food would the sound be quietened. The holy chocolate was sacred to Stacey, Izzy and Sarah. It gave them a moment's peace from the terrifying noise.
Stacey summoned up the courage, picking up some food from the floor; she jumped into the open corridor, throwing the food at the great beast. Silencing it till it was hungry again.
The daily battle was over. Until history.The lesson of doom. The eternal screeching pitch of the monster teamed with uttermost boredom. It was hell on earth.
The leader was known as 'Butler' he used the tactics or long drawn out pauses, slow hand outs of papers and the inability to teach.
"Is it History yet?" asked Sarah, Izzy looked up from her maths and turned to Sarah, "We have two minutes left"
"Better leave then" And with that they gathered their files. The numerous textbooks. Leaving their free souls behind, they stood by the door of their room.
There was no going back now. It was now or, much later.
They reached the end of the corridor, and looked at the horrid creatures that stood before them.
None had brushed their hair. They had over sized earrings, their shoes were falling apart. None amongst them had normal skin colour. Everything was designer. These were the lower sixth. The smell omitted was overbearing, smelling of money, perfume and horse.
"Just look at them. Grouping. Plotting. Online shopping. It's disgusting" Retorted Stacey.
"There is a safe path by the table, if we move quickly and don't breathe I think we can make it" Replied Izzy.
"Move quickly, the Sandrus is coming! Go! Go! Go!" Sarah whispered, and opening the door the three made their way through the barren land.
The creatures lifted their noses into the air peering at the three friends. Using some unknown language they communicated to one another, probably retorting about Sarah's shoes, or Stacy's hair. They made it. They got to the second corridor through the common room.
"I swear they get worse every day" commented Sarah. She did not dare to look back and catch another glimpse.
They reached the leading to the courtyard, and struggled to get through with their books.
Little creatures scuttered past the trio. Avoiding these, Izzy walked through the archway first, followed by Sarah and finally Stacey who was glaring at a year nine.
She walked into the back of her friends who had stopped dead in their tracks. They weren't on their way to history. They were on a bridge, sheltered by its own roof. Looking back Stacey did not see the archway, just two robed people walking away from her.
"Where on earth are we?!" Stacey said turning round, to face the same way as her friends.
"How are we meant to know?!" Replied Izzy, she turned to Sarah who was now looking off the bridge down at the waters below.
A girl swamped with hair walked towards them joined by a boy with round glasses and brown hair. They were dressed in the same black robes and stopped when they reached the friends.
"Oi Izzy" Stacey nudged Izzy, "That boy is wearing a Harry Potter costume"
"No i'm not I'm.." The boy was cut off by Stacey"Yes you are, and that girl is dressed as Hermione, none of this can be real, I mean just look at that scruff wig" Stacey tugged on the girls hair.
"Only people who try look that ugly!"
With that the girl ran off in tears. The boy turned his gaze from his friend and looked Stacey in the eye. "I am Harry Potter and you will pay for that" Said that boy. But he froze, immobolised, as a statue before them.
Behind him appeared an old man dressed in purple with a straggly white beard.
"Izzy, Stacey and Sarah. I am Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts school. You never replied to our letters, so we took the liberty of transporting you here." Dumbledore gave a warming smile.
But this gave the wrong reaction.
Each one of the friends spontaneously turned into the animagus forms.
Now stood before him a Penguin shivering and looking from side to side wearing a rather spiffy top hat.
A squirrel with a multicoloured tail of red, orange, brown, blue, black, purple and blonde climbed onto his shoulder and proceeded to bite his ear.
By his feet stood a badger. With red eyes, foaming at the mouth with ruffled and matted fur.
"Oh dear" were the words uttered by the great wizard. And he cast a spell which made their worlds turn black.
They awoke in the hospital wing.
The room was silent.
Three beds lay on one side of the great room, separated from one another by a grey and green screen.
In bed one lay a penguin, a thermometer stuck in its beak, wrapped up in blankets and grasping a hot water bottle.
The second bed was empty. Above the bed however was a light fixture with a new attachment, a squirrel. Twitching.
The third bed held a cage. In the cage was the badger, with a muzzle on its mouth.
Dumbledore approached the penguin. "Izzy, for your mind and hard work I am sending you to Ravenclaw. You're things are already in your room, and as for your lack of control on your Penguin, you and your friends will attend a lesson this afternoon with Professor McGonagall." With that he returned her to her human form and apparated her to the Ravenclaw common room.
The turned to the Squirell. "Now Stacey, I think it is wise for you to go to Slytherin. I think there you are best suited, your stuff is there near your bed" Then transformed her to her human form, leaving her to fall from the ceiling lamp before disappearing to Syltherin common room.
Finally he approached the badger and let her out of her cage. "Sarah, your qualities are best suited to Hufflepuff, even though you make a rather evil Badger. Your things are there waiting for..." Before he finished his sentence, Badger Sarah ran off, headed for the Quidditch injuries unit.
She was then turned back into her human form, but before disappearing she spied Oliver wood sitting in his bed with a bandage round his head. Her eyes grew wide, and a grin appeared on her face. She then disappeared to Hufflepuff common room.
Mr Wood however was left with a feeling of impending doom. "Professor, I'm suddenly more nervous than I have ever been in my life" Stated Oliver, his eyes wide.
The old wizard just laughed.
Author note: Well there it is. Its really bad. But i tried. Hope you like!!