Spencer thinks that she'll never like New York very much. She thinks she'll never get used to the excessive mass of people. Or the fact that they fail to acknowledge each other or how she'll get pushed at least 4 times each ride she takes on the subway. She thinks she'll never accommodate to the rush the whole city glows and how she can't even breath properly. Both figuratively and literally, because she'll definitely never get used the smog that dawns on the city or the smoke that seems to be coming out of everyone's mouth down there. So she's glad that she only has to stay there for a few months, because she couldn't possibly pass up that internship she got. She misses Ohio greatly and wonders if she'll ever get the state and its memories out of her head just for a moment so she could pretend long enough to enjoy this apple that just seems too big to touch.
Spencer doesn't like New York very much, and she can't wait to go back home.
When Marc asks her to accompany him to some smoky, rock-filled café where they serve cheap beer on sticky counters for the 14th time since she worked in this firm, she finally relents. And when she stands in front of the mirror contemplating if the outfit she's wearing is fitting enough for this friendly date, she can't help but dread it. Because she knows that Marc doesn't want to just be her friend. When Marc holds the door for her to enter the bar, she's never felt more on the outside. She thinks that she's feeling more out of place then ever since she's been here, and that's saying a lot since she didn't once felt that she fitted. And she can't help but feel everyone's eyes on her, judging her and feeling them sense the presence of new blood. Seeing beyond the masquerade of her faded band-shirt and frayed jeans she wore in a desperate attempt to mingle in the crowd. So she hides with her colleague-friend wannabe lover in the darkest corner and awaits the time she can finally leave this café. The time she can finally leave this city, because she thinks she'll never get used to it.
But when the waitress comes along and asks for their order in that accent she has learned to block out, she can't help but look up. Because the New York accent she loathes so much, never sounded more compelling then at that moment. And when their eyes briefly, but powerfully meet she feels something stir in her body. When Marc is drunk enough to leave but not drive, he leaves her to find her own transportation back home alone. Spencer thinks that he's a bit bitter, because she's ignored his flirting all night and gave more attention to her flat drink. So she steps out the bar, hugging her body to shield herself from the cold as she tries to haul a cab. And when the 8th cab rushes past her without even acknowledging her increasingly annoyed presence, she spots a huddled body making her way over. When she breaths, she only inhales the smoke that's making its way closer. And instead from covering her mouth and walk away, she turns around and faces the girl who's curls are now haphazardly framing her face and who's cigarette is dangling from in between cold lips.
The same girl who motions her over to her beat-up car that would've been called vintage back in the 80's and she mindlessly follows suit. And when Spencer gets into this strangers' car that somehow is colder than the outside, she doesn't mind the smoke too much anymore. She thinks it's because it gives her a fake assurance of warmth that isn't there, although Spencer never felt any warmer than then.
And when the girl starts the engine after a few attempts, turns her head towards her, smirks and asks her where she lives, Spencer wonders how she ever found her way before she came around.
Everyone asks her what has changed ever since that friendly date with Marc. Because ever since, Spencer can't help but walk a little lighter on her feet than she used too. She can't help but enjoy squirming her way through the masses of people at the subway and she can't help but friendly excuse herself when she bumps into someone, even if she isn't even at fault. When she waits for her coffee in a line that's way too long, the humming comes naturally and so do the annoyed sighs around her. But she doesn't mind them. She thinks that the adrenaline that is running through her veins and the increasing beat of her heart, would go great with the cities rush. She's still not used to the pollution and the lack of nature, but she thinks it's just part a greater package. And when she stands still for a moment to answer the people that have seen her change so rapidly, she says that she smiles just because.
When the landlord asks why she wants to break open her rent-contract and prolong it, she just says that she finally might start liking New York.
Just as Spencer wants to get into her bed and find some rest in the city that never sleeps, she hears knocking on her door. She unlocks the many locks that decorate her door and finds her with a mischievous grin on her face, curls wild and about and a freshly plucked wild flower in her hand that looks to be coming from the front yard of the Beakers next door. Spencer smiles shyly, lowers her gaze and motions for her to come inside. And when she accepts the flower and takes in its sweet scent mixed with the cities smell, she realizes she's got a city love.
She's got a city love, and she found it in Ashley.
And she can't remember life before her name.
Weeks pass by and Ashley spends more and more time in her place. At first Spencer didn't notice it, because the time spent with Ashley flies by and nothing ever seems too much with Ashley. One morning Spencer wakes up and notices the little things. She notices how there is a red toothbrush on the sink next to her white one. She notices how the dresser is filled with make-up –and beauty products that aren't hers. She sees that there already is a bowl and a cup in the sink, when she hasn't even grabbed breakfast yet. And when Spencer searches for her favorite sky blue shirt to wear to work, she doesn't find it. Spencer knows immediately that Ashley wore it to her work, even though she told her more than once not too. Because if she gets back it will smell of smoke and cheap liquor and sweat. And she wants to get mad because it's her favorite shirt and she doesn't want it to get ruined and this is her apartment and it is already small as it is. She doesn't have the extra space for her toothbrush on the sink and her dirty jeans that are still peaking from underneath the bed.
She wants to get angry with her because she just stepped into her life like a whirlwind and turned everything around. She wants to get angry with this smog-city filled with too many taxi's who ignore her and rude smoking people who push but don't excuse themselves. She wants to hate it because an apple is supposed to be healthy, and this city is anything but healthy. But she can't.
Because Spencer's got a city love and she found it in Ashley.
And she can't remember life before her name
It's the weekend and Spencer's enjoying her time off after a hard week at work, by staying in (the rain has been pouring non-stop for days now) watching some movie that was made way before she was born but that she enjoys nonetheless. She's startles when the quiet room suddenly fills with the shrieking tune of her phone. She's even more surprised when she realizes who's on the other line, since that person was supposed to be working on their busiest night of the week. Spencer follows the instructions on the phone and opens the door without ever being knocked on. When Spencer sees the girl drenched in rain - clothes clinging to her body even more than normal, hair sticking to her face, phone still to her ear and teeth biting onto her lower lip – she thinks that her sink is big enough to carry two toothbrushes and that she likes the idea of spending less money on make-up and that she needed a new reason to call her sky blue shirt her favorite, since she didn't remember the first one.
When dinner ends Spencer and Ashley both blow out the candles that lit the living room and don't bother to put the dishes into the sink. They're to busy taking clothes off of each other and continue their night in Spencer's bed. And when they're finally spent and decide to call it a night, they spoon like every other night. When Spencer is sure Ashley has fallen asleep, she tightens her grip around her waist and knows that she's trough and can never go back when she quietly whispers that she loves her.
It's Friday evening and Spencer's sitting in a the same dark corner from where she first laid her eyes on Ashley. She's doing the same thing right now and enjoys that she can see her doing something that comes so natural to her. It's a busy night and she's waiting until Ashley gets off so they can spend the rest of the night together. The evening ticks by slowly and little smiles and winks are thrown towards each other every other moment. Ashley's shift ends and they decide to stay in a have a few more drinks. The laughter and effortless conversation comes even easier as the drinks flow. The hours fly by and when the clocks tick 2 AM, the spontaneous smiles, the soft but scorching touches and whispered sweet nothings are slowly getting to Spencer. And she silently swears that if this night, in this café that's enveloped with its - by now - silent laughter and softened rock music, doesn't end right then and there than she just might end up proposing.
So she ends the evening there and they silently walk out hand in hand as Ashley effortlessly hauls the first taxi that comes their way and Spencer thinks that she might be able to do that too one day. They split the cab together, because Ashley's car finally had one ride too many and is now having its deserved retirement. Ashley's place comes first and she leaves with a lingering kiss and a squeeze of the hand. When Spencer finally arrives home and brushes her teeth she can hear her phone ringing in her purse. She answers and a smile immediately appears on her face. They whisper into their phones, afraid that they might wake up someone that isn't present. For hours Spencer listens to Ashley's voice as she drones about the bar, her childhood and some dog named Earl. When Spencer hangs up after their mutual I love you's, she thinks that she couldn't follow half of what was said but she doesn't mind. Just like for once, she doesn't mind sleeping to the loud sirens and honks that she's slowly getting used to.
People still stop Spencer sometimes. But they don't ask her why she has suddenly changed, because she's changed a long time ago and they knew what caused it. They ask her about how she got to be so happy with another person and how they wished to be in her spot. The landlord doesn't ask Spencer why she extends her rent-contract for an undetermined time, because he noticed a certain brunette spending a lot of time over.
Sometimes, Spencer thinks that whatever she has with Ashley it's something unique. From the battery, that feeds their relationship and keeps it fresh and energetic, to the gallery that exposes their emotions and the beauty of them colliding. Sometimes she thinks that whatever she shares with Ashley, is only meant for scented, glossy magazines. Spencer isn't thinking about Ohio and its many lakes and cozy towns where everyone knows everyone. She thinks about too expensive apartments with views on dirty streets and smogged skylines. And she thinks about sharing it all with Ashley.
Spencer's got a city love, and she found it in Ashley.
And she can't remember life before her name.