A/N: I have never done this type of story before, but right now I really need to vent my feelings through fanfiction. This story is in response to my polarizing relationship with my mother. Details at the end. Please enjoy (or not). AU, lore/characters not entirely canon.
"Zed, you are a disappointment. I have given up everything for both you and Shen yet you, unlike him, fail to appreciate it. I can only hope that you will improve... but I won't wait for long."
Those words rung in Zed's mind and from the moment they entered, they would never leave him. In truth, he would much rather prefer to be in a literal rock and a hard place. That would provide an immense comfort, relatively speaking to his current state.
Every other day, he would train alongside Shen and the other Kinkou students. And although he was tied for first place as top student, he did not feel like he was.
Earlier on in his life, he was once much more optimistic. Hard work, perseverance, diligence, loyalty, and respect were all admirable qualities. Yet despite his best efforts, he always felt he was in second place.
Zed's abode was located in the far corner of the temple. That suited him fine, but sometimes he wished he didn't have to share it by himself.
There is one bright side to his life, but we'll get to that later. Just recently, he was reprimanded by his master, who also happened to be his surrogate father. In frustration, he kicked his drawer but quickly breathed several successive breaths to calm down. A streak of red darted through his irises.
It was a stupid thing, really. One small mistake had led to a train wreck of a situation.
Shen had asked whether he had completed his chores today. He would always do that, and in such an aggravatingly pedantic manner. Perfect was Shen's obsession, and it really vexed Zed to no end. The Kinkou prided on everything being balanced, and this was what caused Zed the most doubt; he was the only one who felt as though he was unable to ever achieve it.
A small part of Zed's restraint broke and he responded bitingly sarcastic.
"Of course I'm not finished, that's why I'm wandering about, Shen."
At that moment, the master had decided to inconveniently emerge at the scene.
"Zed. I will not have that disrespectful tone in this temple. Apologize," he stated rigidly. Zed bit his lip, measuring his words.
"It was joke, I did not mean anything significant by it, father," he replied. There. That was a fair response, right?
"Joke or not, I will not abide by it. Apologize immediately. Afterwards, you can finish up the remaining chores. The altars must be dusted," the master added dryly.
"Why do I have to apologize for an offense I didn't commit? Is humor illegal now? And I thought cleaning the altars was Shen's duty for today," Zed argued levelly. This was the wrong choice to make.
Zed was used to the master showing favoritism to Shen. Hell, he expected it, and since he could do nothing about it, he let it be. He was also accustomed to the master judging his every move, his every falter, no matter how small. He was too slow to wash the dishes, slightly raised his voice against another student, didn't converse enough and was viewed as rude and cold by the elders. Even when he was at the top of his game, he was given no recognition. The only compensation being that no one lectured him for the day. But that somehow felt worse than getting rebuked.
The young ninja tried very hard not to hate anything or hold grudges against anyone, but there was only so much one person could take. For the first few years, his resolute spirit repelled the severity of everyone's words. Because he was able to ignore everyone's remarks for the most part, he was able to succeed. That much had made him happy at the very least.
But there was a sense of loneliness associated with him. Everyone knew he was adopted, and almost everyone judged him for essentially leeching off of Shen's father, who provided for him. In turn, he was expected to keep quiet because he was so privileged, but later Zed might have preferred to have been left on the streets.
"Shen is excused for the day, as he must attend to his training to become the next Eye of Twilight. You, on the other hand, seem to have plenty of time to gallivant about and talk impolitely to your own brother."
"It was for a few seconds, it's in the past," Zed spat, gritting his teeth to muffle the anger in his voice.
"A few seconds is still a lapse in character on your part. Your brother asked you a simple question-"
"-He asks that same question everyday just to spite me. I have not once neglected my chores but he feels the need to-"
"ENOUGH. Another word, and I will have you work everyone's chores tomorrow," the master threatened him. He may have been listed as his father through paper, but like the paper, their relationship was very thin.
"You always treat Shen better than me, you always take his side. You say you would listen to anything I had to say, but you always dismiss my words like they are beneath you!" Zed shouted as he was unable to contain his indignation any longer.
"They ARE beneath me. Because you have not learned a sense of humility. You think I do not notice? Every time you cast an insolent look at Shen, every time you skirt around other people as though you are too superior to acknowledge them, every time you speak, it is as though it is not worth your time."
"You are biased! I've tried everything just to please you! Yet almost intentionally, you seem to always conveniently turn a blind eye, yet you are so attentive to notice every time Shen does something even remotely favorable!" Zed panted audibly at his own outburst. He was always afraid of what might happen if he were ever to raise his voice against the master, but he was in so deep, he might as well go all out.
"You will never succeed with that attitude. Zed, you are a disappointment. I have given up everything for both you and Shen yet you, unlike him, fail to appreciate it. I can only hope that you will improve... but I won't wait for long."
With those last words, the master left. The silence was poisonous. Shen gave one last look at his brother, and then left. There was no change in his expression, but Zed could tell there was a ghost of smirk on his face.
The anger was only a small fraction of what he was feeling right now. Mostly it was disgust. At himself and the unfairness he was dealt with. He strode out of the dojo, willfully ignoring everyone who had been listening in.
The next few days were awkward for him. Perhaps it would persist for the next few weeks even. This was the first time he had been reprimanded so abrasively. There were lectures from time to time, but never had he lost his cool and talked back so openly to his father. Or rather, Shen's father. He really didn't feel the parental love right about now.
Zed sighed as he walked into the library. If there was a place of respite, besides his room (on certain days), there was the library. It sounded like a nerdy thing to say, but the comfort of books brought a slight ease to Zed. Besides learning more on different techniques, there were also books filled with stories and scrolls written with short poems and such.
Another welcoming fact was that no sound needed to be uttered to absorb all this wonderful knowledge and interesting tales of heroes and villains. Today, however, while he would have preferred a story, he sought knowledge this time around. Something, anything really, to help him best Shen. It had never happened before, but the moment it, perhaps all these hardships would be worth it.
And indeed he found something.
"While the Kinkou are most renowned for their precise tactics and ideology of balance, it is mostly due to strict efforts made to lead potential eyes away from a rather questionable style of ninjutsu...
Originally, the Kinkou placed heavy value upon stealth and deception to outsmart their opponents. Certain methods included the Living Shadow to completely decimate the opposition. When these techniques were deemed dishonorable, they were exiled to the archives. In more contemporary times, newer styles emerged replacing the former dark ninjutsu arts. Speed and precision were then popularized over aggression and subterfuge.
For those who still held to the old ways, the method of utilizing the original, dark Kinkou techniques were-"
The pages which should have contained the necessary information were torn out. It was noontime when Zed had finished reading. Although a bit disappointed the missing pages were not present, it more than enough gave him motivation. He was determined to rediscover these old arts.
For the next few weeks, Zed willed his resolve to drill as long and hard as he could. It was a maddening experience, similar to attempting to self-teach oneself a foreign instrument. The notes and melodies came very slowly. However, he was determined not to give in.
There was a clear image in his head. He knew exactly what he desired. He needed only some sort of catalyst to speed things up.
A scream of pain shot through the forest. Zed recognized that voice. Akali, a fellow peer of his.
He rushed to where she was and soon caught sight of what had caused her distress. A cave dragon. It was unable to fly, but that didn't make it much less threatening. Akali was partially wounded due to a swipe of its claw and a slight burn from a fireball. Zed unsheathed his blades.
"Zed? Is that you?" She panted out, her vision slightly blurred from fatigue.
"It is. I'm here to assist you."
His words however, were quite lackluster.
Try as he might, he was unable to actually dent the monstrosity. Its hide was simply too thick. The only possible weakness was its rather unprotected neck, but that was nearly out of the question. The first time he tried, his head was nearly bit off. Instead, a deep gash was left over his left eye.
Bleeding, exhausted, and out of options, Zed almost resigned to his fate. Both he and Akali were to die. Well, perhaps the creature would eat him first slowly to allow Akali a chance to limp away. This was a bitter thought that crossed Zed's mind as he shielded Akali from its reptilian gaze. A large jaw opened to swallow him whole. Then a bright light started burning from within. It was going to roast both him and Akali.
No, he wanted Akali to at least live.
Zed disregarded the screaming of his aching body and stood up once more with a resurgence. He ran but he could not run fast enough. A breath of flame was about to devour him. In desperation, he faced the dragon one last defiant time.
And the flames missed him.
He disappeared momentarily into a vortex of shadows. He suddenly felt much lighter and could move quicker. He knew that this was his chance. Reappearing behind the dragon on its back, he slit its throat and gouged its eyes for good measure. He then returned instantaneously to his original position. A few seconds later, a burst of blood exploded from the creature, and that was the end of it.
Akali made an excuse about coming back late. No one paid much heed to Zed, which he was thankful for just this once. He retreated to his room.
It was nighttime, but he was unable to sleep. He felt so elated, yet unsatisfied. He had to try again, he had to know it wasn't just a fluke. Zed snuck outside into the forest. The moon shone brightly.
This time, with a bit of focus and a clear desire in his head, he was able to do it.
He could summon a Living Shadow. It looked just like him. It did not speak any words, yet he could feel its recognition of its master.
"Zed?..."
He turned around alarmed, but retained his composure. It was only Akali.
"You shouldn't do that, Akali..." he stated to her offhandedly. She blinked.
"Do what?" She teased innocently.
"Follow me around. Especially at night."
"Someone has to watch out for you," she observed and he was quiet for a moment.
"I guess so..." Zed muttered. "You do a better job than my father..." he added darkly. Akali's face visibly grew sad. But then she looked him straight in the eye.
"I know it's difficult, but you should really suck up your pride and apologize. To Shen and the master," she suggested lightly. Zed scoffed disdainfully.
"So you're on their side too."
"It's not like that."
"Then what is it like?"
"I-" Akali tried to find the right words. Zed was about to ditch her in her moment of silence but then she spoke.
"I personally think you're right," she whispered softly. This stopped him in his tracks. Did Akali just... agree with him? But she was always following after the master, always praising Shen as well. Why was she now suddenly admitting he was right?
"I don't understand."
"Zed. You always think that no one notices you. That no one appreciates you. But you'd be wrong to think like that. I guess... even if it barely counts, as your one frien- uh, fellow peer, I notice you."
There was a long silence. How was he supposed to respond? Zed was great at many things but talking to girls was not one of them. Finally, however, he mustered the courage to respond.
"Thanks..."
Another instance of silence followed, though not as lengthy.
"If you ever want to talk, I'm always here, Zed. I'm sorry we don't ever have prolonged conversations..."
"Yeah... me too," he added awkwardly.
"By the way... ummm, thanks for saving me from the dragon today. I was wondering how I was going to distract it to get away, but then you showed up. So... yeah," Akali offered shakily but sincerely.
Zed thought of a way to respond to that. But then he noticed she never really answered his previous question.
"What did you mean you thought I was right?"
She seemed to be contemplating her words. But she finally replied.
"Zed, I joined the Kinkou because my mother wanted me to. It's how I've been raised my entire life. I've grown to appreciate its beliefs and understand its quirks. That doesn't mean I can't have my own opinion on it. Truthfully, it is a bit harsh. It preaches one way, and one way only. You may have heard of the old ninjutsu arts they exiled. I wish I could have seen those techniques before they were banished. It would have been interesting. But anyways, there's something else I want to tell you. I can't force you to listen, but I hope you do. If you don't want to do it for me, do it for yourself. Please."
There was a pleading look in her eyes. Zed decided to hear her out.
"I wish everyone would treat you normally, despite your orphan background. I wish that they could see your potential like I do. But although I can't change their minds, I don't want you to throw away your chance at becoming a Kinkou graduate. I know you don't see eye to eye with Shen, or the master but... I think you can become a better person out of this. I know the master is prejudiced, and that you've been denied very often, but he is only doing this because he wants the best for you. He would not have brought you in otherwise."
Zed was still doubtful of her optimistic thinking.
"That is entirely wishful thinking..." In other words, he thought it was bullshit.
"It is not nonsense," she said as though in response to his thoughts.
"Zed, if you want change, you have to try to be the change. I know its difficult, but we do what we must. A friend told me that."
"What if I never choose to believe what you say? What if you just wasted your time?" He challenged.
"Then I would feel sorry. Not because you chose to believe different, but that I couldn't have helped you when you needed it the most. When you wanted to be noticed the most."
The hatred in his heart and the red gleam in his eyes faded. Akali began walking away.
"Well, good night, Zed. I hope to see you tomorrow."
"Wait. Do you..." He briefly paused. "Would you like to see those old Kinkou arts? I can show you..."
Finally he understood. To summon a Living Shadow, the most important part was to have a goal in mind. He might have to achieve it through lies and trickery but that didn't matter. From then on, he had a reason to succeed, other than for himself.
For Akali.
"That's impressive," she praised him. It caught her off guard that Zed was able to manipulate shadows but somehow, he had done it. He had revived the old arts.
"But you know it's forbidden... and if they ever find out, you'll be exiled. I beg you never to use them again, even if it is to save someone's life..."
Zed looked her in the eye.
"Akali, if you really believed in something, would you fight for it? Against all odds, and against any kind of adversity?"
"Well, if it was a veritable conviction, then yes, but why-"
"I don't have any friends, Akali. Not any close ones, anyway. Those who don't judge me still keep their distance and never trade more than a few words. I didn't show you my technique because I wanted to impress you, I showed you because I-"
He faltered, catching his words.
"Because you?..." She voiced curiously.
"-I trust you."
"Oh."
There was silence once again, but Zed broke it before it dragged on.
"There's something I believe in very strongly. And I hope you at least respect it," Zed requested of Akali.
"And that is..."
"I will use these techniques, tradition be damned. I have sought for so long for recognition. You're the first person to actually say something even remotely nice to me. I guess you might hate me now, but I am tired of being told I wasn't good enough, that I can't do this or that, that I'm immature, unappreciative, arrogant, introverted, just whatever. I have to do this, Akali. I don't know what's left but to just be me. If these techniques can get me recognized, or even save someone's life, then I will use them, regardless of what people think. Even if I'm the only one who thinks it's the right thing to do."
The night was quiet except for the wind blowing. There was not a star in the sky. And not in his wildest dreams did he expect Akali, the Fist of Shadow, to walk straight up to his face and-
Hug him. What? Zed was nonplussed.
"I guess I can't change you. If this is what you really believe in, then follow this path to the end. Promise me that," she said, distancing herself again and holding up a pinky. He wrapped his own around hers. She smiled fleetingly.
"Normally, I hate people who don't listen to me. But I'd hate you more if you turned out to be a liar. Don't disappoint me."
"I won't," Zed replied smirkingly. He steeled his courage to ask one final question.
"Are you free sometime this week?" Akali didn't miss a beat.
"The Blood Moon festival is coming up, and I didn't really plan to come with anyone in mind so far..."
Four Years Later...
"Z-Zed, we're barely of age..."
That's what Akali said but her actions said otherwise. Her boyfriend caressed her slender body, tracing all her curves roughly yet affectionately. She attacked his lips aggressively but he refused to yield.
"That's fine. I like living on the edge, remember?"
"I swear to God, if you get us caught..."
"Isn't that entirely dependent on how loud you scream, Akali dear?"
She punched him hard, but he shrugged it off.
He left a trail of kisses along her neck while simultaneously unrobing her. She returned the favor. They were left in nothing but their undergarments.
"Red? Oh you shouldn't have, my favorite color..." Zed teased maliciously. Akali flipped him over.
"I hate you so much."
"I love you too."
Zed stroked her hair as Akali nearly swallowed his cock. He had endurance however, and lasted for ten minutes before she claimed his cream in her mouth. He took her cherry next as she winced slightly at the entrance before transitioning to a state of serene bliss in which she purred very cutely. Akali used a certain ninjutsu to prevent her from having a child as Zed exploded his Death Mark within her. When he explored her tight ass with his dick, she fought to control her screams of ecstasy. His exhaustion from fucking Akali relentlessly caused him to become thirsty, so he suckled upon her globulous breasts until they were dry. After returning to a missionary position and coming a second time, they laid down to rest beside one another, letting the heat permeate the room.
They had been dating ever since the Blood Moon Festival from four years ago. While it was still difficult for Zed to put up with his own father, Shen, and everyone else, Akali kept him from becoming demotivated and brooding. He had many faults, including jealousy, envy, spitefulness, and a boatload of others, but thankfully, with his beautiful girlfriend's help, he was slowly but surely fixing them.
"What are you thinking about?" She addressed him, rolling over as she propped her elbows upon his chest. Well, that wasn't the only part of her propped up on his chest.
"How the terrifying Fist of Shadow has such a 'delicate soft side' and a 'disarming' voice at night..." She squeezed 'him' tightly.
"You're so funny, Zed..." She threatened 'sweetly'. "I'm being serious, so I would hope you show me the same courtesy."
He pondered for a bit before responding.
"I'm thinking of joining the League of Legends." Akali blinked.
"I see. Any particular reason?..." Zed bit his lip.
"You know why..." His gorgeous partner sighed wistfully.
"I wish you would reconcile with them. It is rather upsetting that one fight has persisted for years..."
"Maybe one day, Akali. But ignoring them, I want this very much. To prove myself, and to be recognized by others," Zed stated resolutely.
"I figured that. I'll let you go. But on one condition," she said pointedly. Zed blinked but nodded to let her continue.
"I'm coming with you. Someone has to watch out for you." He smiled and she smiled back.
In the course of four years, she had discovered everything about him. Normally, he would never have trusted anyone nor depended on anyone so heavily. But life doesn't change if you don't take chances. Everything could have ended horribly, as matter of fact, Zed was sure that if Akali and he had never spoken that night, he would taken things into his own hands and sought vengeance against Shen by using the forbidden arts. He wondered what might have happened. He may have disliked his father as well, but not enough to want to be rid of him...
There were several times he and Akali fought. Times where their opinions differed too greatly. Yet somehow in the end, they always forgave one another, even though he was stubborn and she was equally so. But not irredeemably so.
Perhaps one person is all it takes to change your mind, change your whole view on the world even.
Speaking to his father was a difficult matter. He found it a struggle because his father always used filial piety against him every turn, yet he allowed Shen to get away with everything and spoil him so excessively. Everyone always seemed to be against him.
But he had found his way when he bonded with Akali. Maybe he could never be at peace with his father because he always fought fire with fire. His father always said he lacked humility. Well... he certainly felt it at times. Perhaps, finally however, before heading to the League, he should grow up and confront his father. At the very least, leave a letter of explanation.
In the end, he didn't really hate his father, it's just that he wished they could have understood each other better. If he could do it again, he would not have messed up as badly.
"Akali?"
"Yes, Zed?"
"I'm going to try my hardest for you. Even if I fail."
She smiled endearingly at him.
"Me too. But even if we fail, we can always try again."
They went for round two.
A/N I hope that was okay. That was my first rated-M fic as well, so fingers crossed on the reception. Anyways, recently I got into another fight with my mom. I don't need you guys to tell me whether I was right or not, but basically, my mom always harps on about how I'm an introvert who doesn't talk to the family often which basically is considered rude in the sense that it's not adhering to the usual customs. My culture essentially says that the ideal child will always listen to their parents, never question them, never even use a hint of sarcasm. We're always expected to be outgoing and on top of everything and compassionate, but honestly, I can't. I just can't. I've tried, but it's way too awkward. It's too embarrassing for me to have an extended heart-to-heart or confide in my mom. I love her, but I hate how she always tries to force me into someone I'm not. She always takes the smallest things that weren't even problems in the first place and lecture me for about 3 hours. *sigh* I know in many cases, I'm just being immature and unwilling to change, but I can't help it. Basically, that's what Zed feels towards his father in this version of his lore. The only difference between me and Zed is that he had someone to support him. For a while, I did once have a best friend I could confide everything in, but she had to leave for other reasons. In a way, I guess I wished someone noticed me too and bonded with me. I know what it feels like, but it just didn't last long enough. Anyways, if there were grammatical/spelling mistakes I'll fix them later and I hope you guys enjoyed this one-shot (probably will stay that way unless reception is really good.) Ciao~