Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. This is purely fan made. If you live in Mexico and/or are a Trump supporter, please do not take offence.
Len had yet to add more banana photos to put in his banana collage. "Yet a few more," he smiled, pleased. He went on Gafoogle and typed in the search bar, 'bananas with mustaches'.
Meanwhile, the Vocaloids stayed in the living room being lazy bums. Ruko groaned. "I wish something interesting would happen for once!" As if on cue, a high pitched scream came from down the hall.
Luka rolled her eyes. "Did Miku burn her hair with the hair curler again?"
Loud, rumbling footsteps started ascending louder and louder until it reached the end of its crescendo. There appeared the fourteen year old banana boy. "Guys! Guys! GUYS!" Len yelled.
They all looked at him and then resumed their shenanigans. "WE HAVE TO GO TO MEXICO!" Len shouted.
Miku screamed in horror. "MY HAIR! LUKA!" She shook her pink haired friend. "HELP ME! I BURNT MY HAIR WITH THE CURLING IRON!"
"HELLO?!" Len hollered. "WE HAVE TO GO TO MEXICO! LIKE, NOW!"
"Why?" IA inquired.
Len gave a deep breath, and smiled mirthfully. "Sit down-"
"I am sitting," IA motioned her hand towards the couch.
Len gave a face of defeat and resumed his story. "Long ago, in the year 1473-"
"NO ONE HAS TIME FOR THAT, LEN!" Rin yelled. "JUST SUM IT UP AND TELL US WHY WE HAVE TO GO TO MEXICO!"
Kaito came up to Len. "You're hurt right? I'll hold you," he was about to wrap his arms around Len, who kicked him out of sight.
"SHUT UP BLUE BABY!" Len smiled. "Where was I? Oh right! Long ago in the year 1473, a man named Ban Nana invented the banana. In 1502 he was becoming horrifically old, and made his last banana; putting it in the sacred tomb. It is located in the Mexican Bank in Acapulco, and now known as the 'sacred banana'. I am destined to find it!"
They all stared at him blankly. "Where did you find out about this?" Rin asked.
"The internet," Len shrugged.
Suddenly, they all burst of laughing. "That is the most stupid thing I've ever heard," Gumi snorted.
Len blushed. "I'm still going, and you'll see what happens when I find it!" He folded his arms. "Who's coming with me?"
Rin's laugh died out, as she came to Len. "I'm going," Rin raised her hand. Len smiled. "because I want to see you fail!" She burst out in laughter once again. Len folded his arms.
"I'm going too!" Miku looked at her burnt hair, and then, soon ignored it. "Mama needs a vacation," she smirked.
"Ritsu," Len called. Ritsu turned his head. "We need your tits."
"MY TITS, HUH?!" Ritsu yelled, coming up to Len; who put his arms in front of his face, defensively. "YOU NEED MY TITS BUT NOT ME?!" He purple nurpled Len's nipple.
Len inhaled, refusing to wince to the pain. "I need you to come to keep me company," he lied, convincingly.
Ritsu cocked an eyebrow, and nodded his head. CUL sauntered towards Len, as well as Chika, Prima, and Gakupo. CUL grinned. "We're coming too."
Kaito rushed over to Len's side. "I'm coming as well!" He puffed out his chest, one hand on his torso, sticking his chin out, head high. "You need a chaperone-a guardian!" Kaito alleged.
Len cocked an eyebrow. "Um, no I don't-"
"Nevertheless! I will never leave you side!" Kaito's hand traveled through Len's back to his hair.
Len backed away, unhesitatingly. "Don't get any ideas," He had a cross look on his face.
Miku's hair was now down, up to her waist, without the burnt part; wearing a dark blue tank top, and a white skirt with flip flops. She was holding two full teal suitcases. "Okay, so are we going or what?" Miku strutted towards the door.
"We still need to pack," Prima said softly, but audible.
"Fine, but don't take too long," Miku grumbled. "Especially you, Ritsu," She folded her arms. "Pack more of your tits."
Ritsu gave a death glare to Miku. "So, wait," CUL turned to Len. "Are we going to rob a bank?"
Len thought for a moment. "Apparently," he inwardly flinched.
CUL didn't react for a moment. Soon, her face broke into a maniacal grin. "THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" CUL cackled.
Prima looked at her, distraught, and rushed upstairs to pack her belongings. Chika brought down her laptop, booking the flight tickets. "Okay, which hotel are we staying at?" She asked. Miku sat next to her as Chika scrolled through all the hotels on the 'expensive' list.
Len perked up at her and shrugged. "Any one works for me," he stated, "but if one is closer to the bank than the rest, the better."
Chika cringed. "The only one close to the bank isn't even a hotel," she scrolled down to the description. "It's a homeless shelter."
"Yeah, we're not staying there," Miku crossed her legs.
"We need cell service," Gakupo told Len. "There's no way I'm going to live with a bunch of hobos."
Len sighed. "Okay, okay. Which is the less expensive?" He asked Chika.
"The best and inexpensive one would be all the way in Toluca," Chika replied. "In order to get to the bank, we'll need to walk and go by bus."
"Plus, for the 8 of us to fly, it'll be $8,000 and a fifteen hour flight from Japan to Mexico City," Miku added. "And we still have to the hotel, taxi, and bus to get to Acapulco."
"So?" Len waved his arms in the air. "We're rich! We can literally buy the airport."
Before they knew it, they were on a flight to Mexico City. Gakupo tried to bribe the flight attendant to get him Wi-Fi, Rin watched one of the yandere soap operas, Prima read a book, Ritsu tried not to blow up his boobs, Chika read the magazine over a million times, Miku took a bunch of selfies to post later, Kaito fell asleep on a random person on his right side, and Len couldn't help but put a picture of a banana on his phone's lock screen in order to remind him the reason he's on a plane with these nitwits.
Len sighed, looking at the screen on the back of the chair in front of him. "Only eleven more hours," A part of him wanted to cry out in frustration, but his mind forced the positive.
It felt like forever, but they finally arrived in Mexico City. As the plane came down from the sky, Kaito woke up from his 'naps'. "Are we here?" Kaito asked Len, who was currently sitting next to him on his left hand side.
The pressure of the plane pushed Len forcibly on the seat. "We're landing," Every time Len moved his mouth, his lips spit out a huge amount of saliva.
Miku took a video of the outside, since she got a window seat, even though the flight attendants told her to power off her phone so there aren't any further delays or disruptions while landing.
"Miku!" Prima exclaimed, putting away her completed crossword puzzle. "They said not to use your phone!"
Miku scoffed. "Who cares? What could it do to harm us anyway?"
"Actually," Prima started. "Portable electronic devices can emit powerful electromagnetic radiation that can muck up an aircraft's navigation and communication systems and actually endanger a flight."
Miku glared at Prima, shutting down her phone. "It's still not as dangerous as Ritsu." Ritsu turned his head, looking at Miku fiercely.
After landing, they all sat on the plane for half an hour before they were allowed to get up and leave. Exiting the plane into the airport, they looked at the giant window and looking into the city, where there was a beach that extended for miles, with the sun rays perfectly angled, almost as if they didn't move.
"It's beautiful!" Prima smiled.
"Oh wait," Miku looked at it. "That's not it," she turned to her right side. "That's it!" She pointed to the desert-like place. "That's a billboard for a Summer Sweepstakes.
Len and the group rushed outside, and were only met by dust engulfing them and the solar flares from the Sun.
"Is it me, or can this place really use some dusting?" Rin coughed.
"Yeah…" Gakupo thought for moment, wiping some dust off his shirt. "Call Momone to clean it up."
"Okay," Len got a map that was given to each person visiting for the first time, by the airport's staff. "According to this, the Taxi pickup is over…there," he pointed to a line of people waiting for taxis.
They all waited in the line. "Do you think the Taxi will be able to fit us?" Chika asked Len.
"Hm…maybe?" Len replied, unsurely. "We should probably get a bus."
"Where's that at, you banana-holic?" Rin snatched the map from his hands. "Okay, the next bus is in fifteen minutes over there," She pointed to another line of families waiting for a bus.
When the bus finally arrived, they all squeezed in. "So, where's our stop?" Chika asked Len.
"Acapulco, then it's straight to the bank!" Len shouted determinedly, receiving a few odd glares from the other people on the bus.
"Wait, so we don't get to rest first?" Miku's eyes widened.
"Rest? You did a bunch of that on the plane!" Len scoffed.
The rest of the bus ride, Ritsu kept leaning on the window, which slowly visible cracks were clear to the eye. The bus stopped. "FINALLY!" Miku yelled, getting her bags and rushing out the bus.
They all got off, and left their bags inside another hotel nearby, and would pick them up later; because Len is too inconsiderate.
"Please, can we rest?!" Gakupo pleaded.
"No, you cannot rest!" Len rolled his eyes, looking back to his map.
Rin groaned. "We promise you'll find your banana, or whatever, but first let us at least go to the hotel!"
"NO!" Len shouted, as they all backed away "According to this map, the way to Acapulco should be right he-" He crashed into a giant wall.
"Len?" Kaito sauntered towards him.
"Ugh," Len rubbed his head, getting up. "I'm fine,"
"No one asked," Rin told him, coldly.
Len gave a half-hearted looked, while squinting his eyes. He looked at the wall in front of him. "Who in their banana fucking mind would put a wall in the middle of Mexico?"
"Apparently this French fried haired dude called, Donald Duck," Miku looked back down at her phone. "I mean, Donald Trump."
"Donald Trump?! Who the hell is that?" Len grumbled.
"He's this guy running for president in the United States," Prima answered.
"Fuck Donald Grump!" Len yelled.
"Donald Trump," Prima corrected.
"I don't care about Donald Duck!" Len stepped on Prima's foot, purposely.
"Ow!" Prima rubbed her foot.
"Look, Donald Trump built a wall for…reasons," Gakupo assured him.
"Um," Rin cleared her throat. "It was to separate the Americans from the Mexican."
Gakupo sucked his breath. "So he built a wall."
"Well tell this fucker to get his wall out of the way and let me get my damn bananas!" Len shouted.
"Um, we can't do that," Rin explained. "The only way to get over it is by taking a plane."
"And we just got off a plane," Gakupo told him. "I'm not suffering again."
Len sighed. "Ritsu, blow it down," he instructed.
"What?!" Ritsu exclaimed. "I can't do that! I'll be thrown in a Mexican prison! And that wasn't so fun the last time…"
Suddenly, a thought hit Chika. "Wait…where's CUL?!"
They all looked around. "Did she go on the plane with us?!" Miku asked, panicking.
"I don't think so!" Chika replied.
Len put his hand on his forehand. "Oh no! This is horrible!" They all looked at him. "We paid for her ticket!"
Ritsu purple nurpled Len. "This is serious, banana bastard!"
Len groaned. "Who cares? I'm ready to rob a bank!" He took out a ski mask.
Rin snatched it from his hand, and put it in her pocket. "Len, your friend is missing. We have to go back!"
"You guys can," Len got out his phone. "I'm calling this Donald Grump."
"Donald Trump," Prima corrected.
"I don't care! I'm going to tell him to get his damn wall out of the way so I can crush it on him!" Len started dialing a number.
They all looked at each other for a moment, and then started running back to the bus stop, in hopes to find a bus to get them back to the airport.
Meanwhile, Len called Donald Trump's agent "What do you mean I need an appointment to speak to Donald Trump?" He shouted. "I am a Japanese citizen! Do you really want to mess with an Asian?!" Len grumbled. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY AM I CALLING IF I'M A JAPANESE CITIZEN?! I WANT TO SPEAK TO MR. TRUMP NOW!"
The phone started to ring. "Wait, am I being transferred?" Len asked himself.
A woman answered the phone. "Hello, welcome to the mental asylum, how can I help you?"
"AN ASYLUM?!" Len shouted. "I'M NOT MENTALLY ILL! I WANTED TO SPEAK TO DONALD TRUMP!"
"Um, well, you'll have to call his-"
"I ALREADY DID AND HE TRANSFERRED ME TO YOU!" Len yelled, frightening the woman, who hung up.
Len sighed, and started to attempt to climb the wall. "¡Oye!" A man called from behind him. "¿Que haces?"
Len's foot mildly slipped as he turned his head to see a Mexican man working on the road. "What?" He called, quickly grabbing the side of a brick so he wouldn't fall.
"¡Bájate de allí!" The man shouted. "¡Te vas a caer!"
Len stared at him blankly. "I don't know what you're saying!" He yelled.
"No se puede remover. Todos hemos tratado de hablar con el señor Trump sobre ello, pero él se negó. También debes venir abajo antes de que te hagas daño," The man spoke in gibberish.
"English please!" Len climbed up one more brick.
Another man that was working with him on the road came up to the construction worker currently warning Len to get down. They chattered amongst each other, while Len continued to climb the wall. Shortly after, the man turned to him.
"Hello? You, sir?" The construction waved his hand in the air.
Len sighed, and turned towards the two men. "What?" His voice sounded purely annoyed.
"You will have to get down, sir. You will fall," The man turned towards his partner. "It is not safe. Mr. Trump had refused to..er, sacar lo. Eh, you understand?"
Len sucked his breath. "Look, unless one of you can speak English in a way I understand, I won't be able to find your cat."
The two men looked at each other. "Cat?" He called. "¿Gatito?"
"Yeah, cat," Len explained. "That's what you were looking for, right?" Suddenly, Len's hands slipped causing him to fall face first on the floor.
The two men stared at him. Len weakly got his pocket dictionary. "A-you-das," He said, barely over a whisper in a raspy voice.
"¿Ayuda?" The two partners asked each other.
Len was eerily silent. They all slowly sauntered towards the 'corpse'. "Yep, he dead," A man said in his Mexican accent, as Len's phone screen turned on revealing a banana.
Suddenly, Len's head bolted up. "This is what I'm fighting for!" He slowly got up, coughing. "FOR BANANAS!" He grabbed his phone and put his hand up in the air revealing the banana with a mustache on his home screen.
The rest of Len's group came back. "Len?" Kaito rushed over to him, grabbing his arm.
"Ow! Don't touch me!" He hissed.
"So, you've been here forty five minutes and already got hit by a bus, beautiful," Rin held in a laugh.
"I DIDN'T GET RUN OVER BY A BUS!" Len looked at the workers who stared at him. He grabbed his dictionary and flipped through the pages. "TRA-BA-HOE!" He shouted, as they resumed working. "I didn't get these injuries by a bus," Len told them. "I got it from falling off that," He pointed to the wall. He sighed. "Anyways, where's CUL?"
"Oh, yeah, we face-timed her" Chika started. "She got the wrong plane. She boarded on a flight to Hawaii instead, but she's getting the flight to Mexico in two days."
"Interesting," Len lifted his eyebrows. "Now, bitches!' He turned towards the wall. "HELP ME GET OVER THAT!" He pointed at the structure that neatly plagued the name 'TRUMP' in the middle.
"Hey, Asian banana boy," Gakupo came to him, and pulled his pony tail off.
Len yelped, as his hair slowly fell down to his shoulders. He quickly held in with his hands. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!"
"What was this whole trip for?!" Gakupo argued. "IT'S A FUCKING BANANA!"
"WELL YOU'RE A PLUM!" Len shouted.
"What?" Gakupo looked at him, as Len snatched his hair tie out of Gakupo's hand. "That doesn't make any sense."
"Your voice doesn't make any sense," Len mumbled.
"What do you even mean by that?" It was more a statement than a question.
"I mean it literally, Gaku-Groin!" Len shouted into his face, as Gakupo turned red from the nickname. "I can't even understand you when you sing!"
"Hey! Don't call me that! And you can understand me perfectly. Shut up, Len!" Gakupo stormed off and joined the Mexican construction workers. "Hey you," He tapped a man. "Dig me into that hole."
Prima looked around. "Well, anyways, are you done?" She asked, as kindly as possible, but couldn't help a bit of sass in her voice.
"Hey, you guys!" A woman came up to the construction workers. "Make the hole a bit bigger!" she looked at Gakupo who was lying in a hole. "Hey! Get out of there, he'll bury you!"Gakupo opened his eyes to find a woman in purple, with brown hair standing in front of him with her hand out.
Miku stared in disbelief. "Is that-"
"Maki Watase?" Ritsu finished
Maki turned, and smiled. "The one and only," she sauntered towards them. "What brings you fellows here?"
"Um, who is that?" Len asked Prima.
"That's Maki Watase: she took over Mexico twenty days ago," Prima answered.
Chika looked on her phone. "Yeah, honey, it says you dead," she showed Maki the article on her phone.
Maki sighed. "I was at a party, drank too much, passed out, they thought I was dead, I had a cold so my breath was wheezing, they thought I had asphyxiation and they threw me out a window."
Len perked up. "Wait wha-"
"You need some new friends," Chika put her hands on her hips. "So, why does it say you're dead, though."
"They threw me out a window, son," Maki repeated her last statement.
"True, true," Chika nodded.
Len sighed in frustration, grabbing Maki's arm. "Right, you're a porn star-"
"I-I didn't say tha-"
"Well whatever you are, get this wall out of the way!" Len growled.
"…I'm afraid I can't do that," Maki sucked her breath. "See, this belongs to Trump Industries, and I am not head of the management, meaning I can't make any further changes without his approval."
"I thought you said you run Mexico," Len eyed her sharply.
"Well," Maki scratched her head. "I'm not the president-"
"WELL HE ISN'T EITHER! YOU RUN MEXICO! YOUR RULES!" He shouted.
Maki's pale face turned into a grin of approval. "You're right! Boys! Tear it down!" She pointed the wall, as a man got into his truck which had a wrecking ball in front.
It started to fall into pieces as Gakupo started singing out loud, "I came in like a wrecking ball, and we just broke down this wall!"
They all started joining, until Ritsu stopped. "Hey, Len, why didn't you ask me to blow it down?" he asked.
"Well, you said you wouldn't, didn't you?" Len replied, while his eyes stayed fixed on the wrecking ball.
"Yeah, well," Ritsu turned away crossing his arms. "I thought that was the only reason you wanted me to come along."
Len turned to him. "Yeah, it totally was," he nodded. Ritsu punched Len through the part of the wall that wasn't torn down.
"Princess Len! –I mean Len!" Kaito shouted.
"Wait, guys," Miku said. "Instead of waiting for them to tear it down, let's just go through Len's hole! Good thinking, Ritsu!" they all went through the hole, stepping on Len.
Ritsu sighed. "At least someone appreciates me," as he followed the others. Behind the wall, they all stared in horror as an inhalation of Donald Trump's walked around. The people wore suits with Donald Trump's distorted hair on their already tan bodies.
"What the hell?" Gakupo looked around. "Who-What?"
"Donald Trump was here," Prima scrunched her face. "Come on, we need to find out where he is now."
"Wait! This isn't about you!" Len shouted, stopping Prima from taking a step forward. "It's about me!"
"Just because you say it's about you, doesn't make it true," Prima snatched her arm away from Len's hand, as she walked away.
Len looked around in panic. "Uh…Miku! You're hot right?!"
"Thanks for noticing," Miku gave a bittersweet chuckle.
"Hey! I'm hot too!" Chika appeared in front of Miku, shielding her from Len's view. "Just look at this!" she motioned her hand towards her body.
"Um, okay. So, Miku," Len pushed Chika aside. She grumbled, and stormed off next to Kaito. "Can you get Prima to fall for you so we can stop playing detective?"
"WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! NO!" Miku yelled.
Len sighed. "What about you, Kaito?" He turned to the blue haired boy.
"What about me?" Kaito asked.
"Can you make Prima fall in love for you so we can get our mind set on the actual reason we came?" Len answered.
"But…I'm not in love with her," Kaito said.
"Then who are you in love with?" Len rolled his eyes.
"You!" Kaito's irises turned into stars glistening, as he looked at Len.
Len blushed turning away. "I-I, no!" He shouted, with his back turned towards Kaito. "SHUT UP! YOU'RE WRONG!"
Rin chuckled. "Are you in love, Len?"
Len turned around, slapping Rin's arm gently, but seriously. "NO! NO I'M NOT! BE QUIET! BOTH OF YOU!"
Rin and the other girls kept laughing hysterically, as Kaito went and cried in a corner because his love didn't love him back. Prima went over to console him.
Len sighed, and went to Prima and Kaito. "I'll talk to him," He said. Prima went off, as Len sat next to Kaito.
Miku disrupted the laughing girls. "Shh! I think they're going to make out! Get your phones ready, girls!"
"Look, Kaito," Len looked at Kaito's tear-filled eyes, lifting his arm up to brush Kaito's cheek. Right as Len's hand touched Kaito's cheek, he slapped him, leaving a red mark soon to become a bruise.
"OW!" Kaito yelled.
The girls stopped recording, and looked at the scene. "Um, that wasn't sexy at all," Miku said, awkwardly.
Chika was sobbing. "NO! THEY DIDN'T KISS!"
"Aw, man, I was hoping for gay stuff to happen," Ritsu looked at Gakupo, as Chika kept sobbing.
"Hey, don't worry," Rin turned towards her. "Maybe this is a start of a love-hate relationship. I'm sure they'll get married soon!"
Chika smiled, pleased. She turned her head to the two boys, and saw Len with tears in his eyes walking towards them.
"What happened?" Miku asked.
Len gave a deep breath. "Wedgie."
The girls inwardly cringed, as Prima came over. "Trump wasn't here, my bad. Okay, Len, let's find your banana!" She exclaimed, determined.
Len grinned.
As they continued their journey, they stumbled across a short man that was still another duplicate of Donald Trump. "You mustn't go there!" He warned the group.
"Go where?" Kaito asked.
"There!" He pointed to a hill.
"But there's no other way," Len told him.
"If you go there, you will never come out!" The mini Donald Trump started to lose his sanity. "The beast will eat you!"
The group looked at each other, not convinced by his warning, and continued their path, despite the cries of the man. "So…nothing happened," Rin looked around as they went over the hill.
"THERE THEY ARE GET THEM!" A group of police called, running towards them.
"WHAA?" Chika yelled. "GET OFF ME!" She tried to pull off one of the police officers.
"NO! NOT AGAIN!" Kaito kicked one of the officers.
Ritsu didn't fight them though. "I really don't care anymore," He put his hands up.
"HELP! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO JAIL!" Prima cried.
"WHAT? YOU CAN'T JUST DO THIS! WE'RE INNOCENT!" Len yelled.
"I WILL HAVE NO CELL SERVICE! LEN! THIS IS YOUR ENTIRE FAULT!" Gakupo had tears of anger and fright streaming down his face.
The police officers put them in a car, and took them to…
A costume store?
"Wait, what?" Gakupo looked around the store.
"It says the place is called…The Trump Store?" Prima looked at the sign.
"You're not in uniform," The police handed them a suit.
"Do we have to wear these?" Rin asked.
"Affirmative," The police answered.
They all sighed, and put on the suits. "Okay, let's get out," Miku exited the shop.
"Okay," Len looked at the map, while slowly adjusting his suit's collar. "We need to go this wa-" He crashed into a wall. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THIS GUY AND WALLS!"
"Another wall?" Prima looked at it, and then eyed an abandoned pole. "I know what to do," she smirked.
She got the pole, and put it up. "We need to do pole vaulting!"
"What the hell is that?" Len asked, rubbing his shoulder, which was badly bruised.
"Pole vaulting is a track and field event in which a person uses a long, flexible pole as an aid to jump over a bar," Prima explained. "Or in this case, a wall."
Len looked at her blankly. "So…we have to use that pole, to get over that wall?" Prima nodded. "Perfect! I know exactly how!" Len snatched the pole, and put it upwards, leaning against the wall.
Prima rushed over. "Len! Wait!"
"Relax! I know how to do this!" Len assured her.
"No, I don't think you do," Ritsu folded his arms. "Why don't you just let Prima explain it to you?"
"Nonsense! I'll show you!" Len started climbing the pole. It wasn't able to support his weight, so he fell backgrounds straight onto the floor. SMACK!
They all crowded around him. "I'm surprised he's not dead yet," Prima smiled.
"I'm surprised he's not crying," Miku looked at the banana boy. Len started wailing from the crash. "Hmp. Never mind."
"Are you okay?" Kaito let out a hand, as Len weakly grabbed it.
"I'm magnificent," Len wiped his eyes. "Alrigh-OW!" Len grabbed his hip.
"Oh no! Looks like you're too injured to continue this journey! Welp! Guess we better go to the hotel!" Miku said, dramatically.
"NO!" Len yelled. "I REFUSE! WE WILL CONTINUE!"
They all sighed. "Good try, though," Rin patted Miku's shoulder.
"If it weren't considered murder burning you all, I would've done it ages ago," Ritsu said, emotionlessly.
"Well no one asked you to come!" Len told him.
"Um, yes! You did!" Ritsu replied, harshly.
"Don't dwell on the past," Len rolled his eyes.
"I don't think you're using that correctly," Ritsu folded his arms.
"So," Prima started, using the pole to demonstrate. "First, when you are running down the runway you must accelerate into the box, or else you will not get the proper bend that you need in the pole. Then you drive the pole into the box, and drive your knee into the air. You must concentrate on keeping your arms straight at this point. Second, after you have penetrated the box, you must drive with your arms into the box, while swinging your legs and hips to meet your arms. This is where your first start to invert."
"Right, right," Len interrupted. "Explain that again in a language I understand."
Prima eyed Len fiercely and continued her explanation. "Third, you have to really drive "down" with your arms while bringing your legs up. Fourth, you have to keep pressure into the pole then you have to really rock back and get ready to pop up with your legs and hips, almost through your arms. Fifth, here you really have to rock back and get your hips in position for the push of the pole. If your hips are in the wrong position, you may not utilize the full force of the pole."
"You know your chronological order is really started to bug me," Len interrupted again.
Prima sighed. "I'll just do it for you," she thrusted her legs into the air, letting go of the pole. "Oof!" A giant thud was heard.
"Prima?" Rin called. "You okay, bud?"
"THERE'S ANOTHER WALL!" She shouted.
"What?!" Len exclaimed. "Impossible!"
They all started climbing the wall one by one, as they brought the pole with them for future support. They saw Prima in between the two walls.
"Maybe he made it for isolation," Ritsu suggested.
"No, I think he just hates Mexicans," Gakupo told him. They heard soft sobbing coming from the area, and looked over to see Len's face buried into his knees.
"I'm never going to find my banana," Len choked.
Prima came over to him and put a hand of empathy on his shoulder. "Aw, don't worry Len."
"DON'T COMFORT HIM, PRIMA!" Ritsu yelled, pulling her away from the crying banana bastard. "HE NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO DEAL WITH DISAPPOINTMENT!"
Len looked at him painfully, and stood up wiping his eyes. "Whatever, I didn't need anyone to comfort me anyways," he looked away.
Ritsu cocked an eyebrow. "Right, remember that time when you-"
"I DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THAT, RITSU!" Len yelled.
"Right, if you guys are done fighting, I think you forgot the fact that if we don't do something WE'LL BE STUCK BETWEEN THESE TWO WALLS FOREVER!" Miku hollered.
Gakupo thought for a moment. "Maybe we could…" They all eyed Ritsu.
"No! No, no, no, NO!" Ritsu covered his breast.
"Come on! There's no other way!" Len complained.
"YES THERE IS! WHY DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE A POLE!" Ritsu yelled, defensively.
"Come on, Ritsu," Gakupo smirked. "We know you like it!"
Ritsu gasped, offended. "FUCK OFF YOU PERVERT!" His finger slipped, accidentally triggering his boobs to go on fire. It burned down the wall, but also a few other people with it.
"At least the wall's down," Chika coughed.
"Let's go!" Len's voice was raspy, but still full of determination. They all staggered weakly into the field beyond the wall. They all collapsed on the floor dramatically, and used their fingers to move themselves, as if they were in the desert. "There it is!" The Messiah's Hallelujah chorus played in the background. "There's the bank!" They all looked like tigers trying to eat their prey.
Suddenly, as if they were in a cartoon, their bruises magically disappeared, and they got up walking just fine.
"Okay, we need to go up the vents!" Len instructed.
They stared at him. "Why?" Rin asked.
"Because it's what people do in movies!" Len blurted. "Why else?!"
"Well, Kaito's a fat-ass, Miku's too dumb to figure out how to get into one, Gakupo's hair is too long to even crawl, Len…well you're stupid, and Chika's just Chika," Ritsu explained,.
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean!" Chika yelled.
"It means you're perfect the way you are! Why am I a fat-ass!" Kaito grabbed Ritsu by the shoulder, as the explosive fire hazard refilled his boob supply.
"Well, why ever she says that, I think we should blend in as one of the employees," Prima put her arms behind her back. "After all, we are all wearing the same clothing as everyone in this town."
Prima turned to Ritsu. "By the way, what's your description about me?"
"You're beautiful. You're great. You're an angel. Stay that way, child," Ritsu patted Prima's head.
Prima blushed. "Why thank you!" She smiled. "Wait-child?! I'm older than you!"
Gakupo sighed. "If you guys are done flirting, can we finally get to the plan?"
"Yeah," Miku nodded. "The faster we get through, the faster we find a bed."
Len came up to Miku. "Seriously, what'd you do on the plane to be this tired?!"
Miku sucked her breath. "Well…"
"Never mind that!" Ritsu pushed Miku aside. "I'm starving! Let's finish this quest, or whatever, and get something to eat!"
"Seriously, did you climb a mountain or something?!" Len waved his arms in the air.
"I went skydiving," Miku put her hand up.
"Oh, that's why you suddenly disappeared after two hours…" Chika thought for a minute.
"I went to Chicago," Kaito added.
"What?!" Len exclaimed. "No you didn't! You were sleeping beside me the whole time!"
"I went while you were in the bathroom for seven hours swooning over 'hot bananas'," Kaito had tears forming in his eyes. "WHAT IS IT LEN?! WHAT DO THE BANANAS HAVE THAT I DON'T?! AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!"
Len took a step back. "They have personality," he answered.
Kaito blushed. "I…I have personality!"
Len chuckled. "Trust me. No. No you don't," he laughed.
Kaito grumbled wiping his eyes. "Anyways," Prima started. "When we get in, Kaito and Gakupo go as one of the top employees, Miku and Chika go in as phone representatives, and Len and I will go as those unimportant employees that no one really knows why they're here."
"Aw," Chika looked at her feet. "I wanted that one."
"What about me?" Ritsu asked.
"You're our guardian!" Prima replied.
Ritsu's mouth widened into a salty face of disgust. "Me? Why me?"
"Because you're watchdog material!" Prima smiled.
Ritsu blinked. "I-"
"Everyone, ready? Okay, let's go!" Prima and the group ran into the bank, roaring like Vikings.
"Wait!" Ritsu yelled. "I don't know what to do!" The door slammed shut. Ritsu sighed. "I'm going to McDonalds."
Just at the moment, Rin came running, and panting. "G-Guys? Where'd you go?"
Kaito and Gakupo walked into the building and saw a number of employees walking, attending customers and working in their cubicles. A man in another similar suit looked at Gakupo by the corner of his eye.
Gakupo froze. "Uh-uh, 'sup," he chuckled nervously, as the man walked away. He sighed in relief.
Kaito elbowed him. "Act more natural! You'll blow our cover!"
A woman with a Bluetooth in her ear, currently speaking to someone, passed by them and soon stopped, looking directly at Kaito. "What's your name?"
"I-It's…uh…Miss…I mean Mister! Uh…Kai…ander?" Kaito stammered.
The woman kept staring at him. "Ah! You must be one of the new arrivals!" The two sighed in relief. "I'm head of management, Ms. Wagasi," she smiled. "Let me bring you to your office, follow me."
Gakupo and Kaito followed the woman. "Next time," Gakupo whispered. "Act more natural," he smirked. Kaito looked at him sharply.
"Here," Ms. Wagasi motioned her hands towards a cubicle right next to the corner office. "I assume you work together. Luckily, here we have two work stations. The computerized numbering is already set up on the screen. Get working," She grinned.
"Um, funny question," Gakupo gave a skittish chuckle. "See, I suffer from short term memory loss…I think…and I don't remember what I'm supposed to do here," he gave a fake laugh.
The woman shot him a glance, but soon turned around with a mirthful smile. "Your job is to calculate the numbers for our customers. Every amount they earn or spend relies on us to calculate to tell them in their bank account how much they have left," she explained. "You must redo your calculations approximately seven times to make sure your numbers are at just. People go shopping at different times, so you work in the twenty-four hour shift, and go home a day after to rest. You will come back exactly at midnight after your down-time to restart your shift. You must, and will, spend countless hours working on our customer's numbers. Your job is very important. Don't let us down," She smiled and left.
The two paled. "Twenty four hours?" Kaito sobbed.
Meanwhile, Chika and Miku went into the second level to find men and women speaking on the phone, and writing down people's social security numbers and names.
"This is where the representatives work?" Chika whispered to Miku.
"They're lives are so sad," Miku replied.
Chika nodded. "I wonder how being top employees is going out for Gakupo and Kaito…"
Apparently it wasn't going so well. Kaito kept sobbing about their new depressing life, and Gakupo was never good at math, and their computers didn't have built in calculators.
"Probably going great," Chika chuckled.
"THIS IS GOING AWFUL!" Kaito sobbed, head on the floor, up to his knees.
Miku started to laugh. "Yeah, Gakupo must be having so much fun. With all the computers and stuff."
"I'M NOT HAVING FUN! THIS IS HORRIBLE!" Gakupo struggled adding twenty plus three.
"Yeah," Chika sighed, happily. "I wonder where they are now." Suddenly, Kaito and Gakupo ran around the room sobbing. "Oh look, there they are!"
Miku saw the whole second level entering a room. "Uh, hi," She patted a woman with clearly dyed hair to match Donald Trump's. She didn't turn around. "Um, excuse me?" Miku patted her again. "Hello?" Finally she turned around.
Miku stepped back. "Oh! Uh, hi. Wh-where are you guys going?" She smiled innocently.
"Ms. Wagasi has a meeting us representatives must attend to," The woman answered.
"Ms. Wagasi?" Miku said to herself, while the two went into the room, and sat on the chairs, folding their arms on the table.
"How are you guys," Ms. Wagasi called out, as the room silenced. "Today I will hand you to our new spokesmen, Kai-san and Galu-kan," she motioned her hand towards Kaito and Gakupo who still had tears spurting out of their eyes.
Chika and Miku looked at each other. "Kaito?" Miku looked at him.
"Gakupo?" Chika's eyes widened. "And I thought they would enjoy this," she couldn't help but giggle.
"H-Hello," Kaito got the projectors remote. "Um, today I'm going to talk about…um, how we can improve the satisfaction of our customers and employees," He glanced at Gakupo, who had a proceeding face.
"Um, well, we shouldn't…well…keep people on hold for ages," Kaito's shoulders rose to his ears.
Miku suddenly stood up, slamming her hands on the table. They all turned around. "Um, Miks, what are you doing?" Chika whispered.
"I AGREE!" Miku yelled, running next to Gakupo and Kaito. "We also shouldn't wear these stupid Donald Trump suits!" She ripped it off, revealing her tank top and skirt.
Kaito looked at her oddly for a minute, but soon joined in, ripping the suit, and back into his dark blue shirt, and white pants with a white denim jacket. The workers stared distraught, as Gakupo knew this was a bad idea.
Ms. Wagasi came up to them. "You're fired," She said, sternly. They stared at her. She sighed, turning to the rest of the actual employees. "You're all dismissed."
Afterwards, they called Prima and Len who were still wandering around the bank. "Hello?" Len answered the phone.
"Yo, Len," Miku replied. "We kinda got fired."
"What?!"
"Don't worry, we're going to her office right now to see if she'll reconsider!"
"Bitch, you had one job," Len sighed.
"What happened?" Prima mouthed, but couldn't help a barely audible whisper.
"Look, Lenny-puss," Miku put her left hand on her hip. "I tried, man, I tried. It didn't work. So what? We'll get your banana. I promise. For now, just focus on finding it, and call us when you do."
"Fine, but Miku," Len's tone became more serious.
"What…THE HELL!" Miku yelled. Rin came crashing through one of the vents, and crashed onto Miku, making her lose her grip on her phone, and throwing it across the room.
"What?" A part of Len grew concerned, but another part didn't really care. "Fine, if you didn't want to hear it, you could've just said so. I was just going to say, I love you," Len hung up.
"Aw, so sweet!" Miku blushed. "RIN GET OFF ME!"
Rin got off; pulling off the ski mask she took from Len. "You guys left me!"
"Honestly, I forgot about you," Chika shrugged. "Where were you, anyways?"
"I was still trying to get over the wall. You guys were moaning like you were in some porno movie or something…" Rin shuddered.
The four friends looked at each other, recalling their struggles of getting to the bank. "Well, I wouldn't mind being in a porno movie…" Kaito said, softly.
The rest stared at him. "Right…" Gakupo inhaled. "So, how are we going to confront Ms. Wagasi anyways?"
"Don't worry about it," Miku said. "We'll worry about it when the time comes," Miku eyed Ms. Wagasi as she started to make her way towards the door that the friends were blocking. "Okay let's panic, time's here."
Ms. Wagasi looked at them, displeased. They all smiled awkwardly. "Didn't I fire you?"
"You…did," Gakupo started. "But…you never told us why," He smiled, unconvincingly.
"Does that display need an explanation?" Ms. Wagasi raised her voice.
Chika and Gakupo eyed each other, and nodded. "Uh…yes, it kind of does," Chika replied, softly.
"W-We're just hoping you'll reconsider," Miku butted in. "I-I mean, we weren't properly trained and-"
"What's your department?" Ms. Wagasi asked, while opening the office door and giving a proceeding face for them to enter. Rin stood by the door, and right before Ms. Wagasi shut it, she gave a thumbs up.
Miku stared blankly at her for a minute. "Uh…" She thought for a moment. "What was my department?"
"Let's start with my department!" Kaito interrupted.
The woman sighed. "What's your name?"
"It was…uh…Mister…Kaiander?" He eyed Gakupo. "Right?" Gakupo nodded.
Ms. Wagasi started typing on her computer. Shit, Kaito thought. I'm not a real employee. So they won't have me in their system. Kaito prepared himself for the worst.
"You were just added today," Ms. Wagasi looked at him. Kaito sighed in relief. "Only today? Shameful, Mr. Kaiander. You just started today, and you're already close to losing your job. Very disappointing."
Kaito slumped in his seat. "By the way," Ms. Wagasi started typing once again. "What is your first name? It does not say here."
Kaito's eyes searched in panic. The first person that caught his eye was Gakupo. "Gakupo," He answered unsurely.
Gakupo jumped. "What! That's my name! What am I going to say for myself?!" He mouthed, but couldn't help a barely audible whisper to release his lips.
After almost an hours of questions, Kaito is Gakupo, Gakupo is Chika, Chika is Miku, and Miku is Kaito.
"At least we were able to get our job back," Chika chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.
Rin held in a laugh once Miku came out the door. "So, how'd it go, Miku?"
"Uh, no, it's Chika," Miku patted Rin's head lightly.
"What?"
"I DON'T KNOW!" Miku sobbed. "I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE!"
Rin stared at her. "Wow…"
Kaito's phone started buzzing. "It's Len."
"KAITO YOU THERE?!" Len was heard yelling.
"Yes, I'm here," Kaito said. "Did you have me on speed dial?"
"I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY. JUST LISTEN TO ME. I FOUND THE HIDING SPOT OF THE SECRET BANANA!" Len squealed.
Kaito couldn't help but smile at it. Then he sighed. "Why do I suffer for you?" He groaned. "Alright, where is it?"
After two hours of struggling through directions, they finally met each other. Len bounced eagerly. "WHAT THE FUCK TOOK YOU SO LONG?!" He yelled.
"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO BAD AT GIVING DIRECTIONS?!" Chika yelled back.
"It's bad-direction-giving-syndrome," Len explained. "It's a really rare condition."
Kaito though for a moment. "I think I've heard of that…"
Chika glared at them. "Right, right, okay. So are we getting ourselves a banana or what?"
Len smiled, in a lustful manner. "Right here!" He motioned his hands towards a wall.
"Len that's a wall," Rin said. "Are you okay, sweetie?"
Len was too excited to argue. He simply tapped it. "Watch," He giggled.
The whole wall came tumbling down.
They all stared at him. "W-Was that supposed to happen?" Prima asked, in utter shock.
Len stared at it as well. "I…I don't think so…" he paused. "BUT WHO THE FUCK CARES, LET'S DO THIS SHIT!" He ran through the wall.
"Careful, idiot!" Miku yelled, going through rubble.
"This kid lives for bananas," Gakupo shook his head.
"Here it…is?" All Len saw was a horrifically old man. "Um, excuse me?" He came closer. "Who are you?"
The man smiled. "For I am, Ban Nana!"
Len stared at him. "What? Where's the banana?!"
"For I am him, boy!" Ban shouted.
"No, I mean a banana. The thing that looks like a…you know, what monkeys eat," Len explained.
"Bloody Nora, THAT'S ME!" Ban Nana yelled.
"Watch your language, young…old man!" Prima slapped him, gently. "Bloody Nora is a bad word!" She immediately widened her eyes and covered her mouth.
"I don't care, sard!" He insulted.
Prima flinched.
"Uh…" Miku broke the two up. "I don't fucking know what's going on here, but I'm pretty sure tha-"
Suddenly, loud crashing was heard. A wall came crashing down, on top of Len. "I'M HERE TO ROB A BANK!" A voice was heard.
"Ow!" Len yelped. "Get off me, you!"
"Wait and minute…CUL?!" Rin ran over to her. "CUL you made it!"
"Damn right I did! Now, what's the job? Take down the guards? Fight the nerd? Hit a guy with glasses…if you know what I mean," She giggled, and then eyed Ban Nana. "Oh, and test, huh? Where'd you get this dummy? It's hideous."
"Oh consarn it you!" Ban cursed.
Prima grumbled, while CUL's eyes widened that the dummy spoke. "Wow, it speaks?!"
"That's not a dummy," Gakupo sighed. "That's Ban Nana."
Kaito rolled his eyes. "And none of you realize that Len is under all that gravel?!" He reached out to grab him.
"Th…anks," Len replied weakly. "Now," he coughed. "I CAME FOR A BANANA. NOW IF YOU DON'T SHOW ME A BANANA, I'LL-"
"Len," Gakupo started to carry Len, who's legs thrusted to get off. "Len, just no. Stop. Please."
"But Gaku-"
"Len. Stop. Go to the corner, and think about what you've done," Gakupo directed.
"No. No! I won't listen to you! I'm a grown man!" Len defended.
"Len, you're fourteen-"
"Grow man I said!" Len repeated. Gakupo sighed. "Now you, Ban Nana. GIVE ME A BANANA!"
"As you wish," Ban Nana suddenly turned into sparks of light.
"Wh-what is he doing?" CUL said. "Is he evolving?"
A banana appeared before Len. It's graceful and elegant figure resembled an hour glass. "Eat me," it said.
Len suddenly jolted upright, from his daze and almost yelled. "THE FUCK?!" Ban Nana's face was still there, and alive, on the tip of the already pealed banana.
"Ban…Ban Nana?" Len looked at it closely.
"That's right, eat me," The banana replied.
Len cautiously got the banana. "A-Are you sure?"
"JUST EAT ME!"
Everyone, except Gakupo, started chanting, "Eat it, eat it!"
"So immature," Gakupo muttered.
"OH SHUT UP SAMURAI!" Rin yelled. He rolled his eyes.
"Really?" Len looked at Ban again. All he did was nod, and accepted his face. "Oh…kay…" Len slowly bit into his head. The rest of them stared in intrigue and disgust. Later, Len ate even faster, and seemed to enjoy every single bit of it.
"How…how was it?" Prima asked, dryly.
"IT WAS FUCKING DELICIOUS!" Len yelled, smiling.
"That was pointless," Miku folded her arms.
Suddenly, Ritsu casually walked through the discarded rubble with a statue.
"Ritsu, what is that?" Chika asked.
"OHMIGAWSH TAKE IT AWAY!" Rin yelled.
Prima looked at it. "Really?"
"What, you try to make friends and this is what you get. Deal with it," Ritsu dragged the statue of Ronald McDonald.
"…Something's wrong with him," Gakupo raised an eyebrow.
They all casually strolled out of the destroyed bank. "That was fun," Rin chuckled.
Suddenly, the utterly horrific face of Donald Trump came in their faces. "You're not in uniform!" He shouted. "And you're immigrants! Come with me, suckers!"
They all stared at him in horror. Miku sighed. "Fuck."
Woo! I'm finally done! That took much longer than expected XD This is continued in a separate story, on how the gang 'saves' Mexico from Donald Trump! Please don't take offense if you are Mexican, or a Donald Trump supporter. :)