Sonic had never had a consensus for masturbation as much as it felt like he had a professed routine. The key was all in knowing what worked. When he was a younger hedgehog, the idea was always speed and proficiency. The right hand would go up and down his shaft no different then pumping a water pistol. He did not even use a lubricant. It was all about getting to the orgasm as fast as possible. There were no needs to think about what he was doing or why he was doing it or how he was going to perform it. The dick acted according to its motion. The pre-ejaculation would show up too and occasionally give the penis a lotion, and then he would fire off his incomplete children into the void; ad infinitum until possibly the last of his days on Mobius. For a long time, the self pleasure came off itself like anything. There were a lot of used tissues. He would fantasize about some kind of domination or embarrassment scenario, those always titillated his dick more than most other things. Sure, love could do just as fine, but love was boring when compared to being held down and given what he needed.
As he got older, he realized that using his non-dominant hand could pass off as a decent handjob. It would take a lot more time to perform than his right hand, yet the orgasm that birthed from it was wondrous. It made him feel like there was no need to be with anyone ever again. Sure Sonic had Tails for the semiotic excess of touching their penises together like a royal knighting. He always preferred the term flesh fencing because it felt more battling. The hedgehog saw sex as winning and losing and the longer he could hold back the liquid pearls, the better the orgasm was going to be. Sonic loved climaxing for how mind clearing it was. The world ripped away and the warming blood rush hit his eyes and for a few seconds, life ceased.
Tails unfortunately had taken a tiny vacation to Station Square to shop at the galleria. Amy had left the duplex to go grocery shopping. Sonic knew he only had a good forty minutes to a hour before she got back, and he wanted to get it over with. The hedgehog went and grabbed his laptop from the living room and took it back to his bedroom. He closed the door behind him, removed his left glove, and sat upon the bed. He held his testicles a bit with both his hands and rubbed them for a second. It always felt funny to massage his balls. They never felt like they were really his. Like they were definitely part of him, but they never felt like anything more. Also they reminded him of the term blue balls even though he didn't know what that felt like exactly.
Sonic put his hands down his back to buttocks to give himself the illusion of a lover. The pins and needles of his nerves fired for a brief moment, before they disappeared. He fired up the laptop, opened the web browser, and clicked on one of his saved pages. He found this old picture of a cat and a walrus. The cat was using his paw to penetrate the anus of the walrus. The cat sat on the walrus's back and the walrus had this horrible look of distress on his face. The walrus seemed to not be pleading with the cat, but weirdly disgusted and defeated by the act. Sonic still could not believe the strange beauty of the photo kept turning him on after all this time. However, the age old ways were not full proof to pleasure. There was a greed to his masturbation. Sonic wanted to top himself with himself. He knew there was an empty beer bottle still on the island back in the kitchen. He knew there was just enough time to do things in curious way.
Sauntering through the house, he walked over and snagged the beer bottle. He went over to the sink and poured the beer out. Sonic turned the sink on and let the water fill the bottle up multiple times over to clean out the inside. He then dried the bottle off with a nearby hand towel and headed back to his room. The lights were all off minus the glow of the laptop screen. The blinds were closed, and the world was outside of the spectacle. He got down on his knees next to his bed and using his right hand slowly started inserting the narrow end of the beer bottle slowly up his rectum while still using his left hand to grip his penis.
He thought of the walrus over and over again telling the cat to stop. That the paw was too painful to do that to him. Sonic imagined the walrus grunting incessantly as the cat's fist went in and out. The beer bottle went as far as it could venture and then out again with a pop. The feel of Sonic's ass conforming to the intrusion of the foreign object over and over again. He held his breath as he rubbed harder. He kept daydreaming that he was the walrus too, and he was being taken advantage of as his penis firmed. The cat kept asking "do you fucking like that, you little bitch?"
Sonic could feel the pulse flickering, he was almost there, and he stopped. He knew how to string it along long enough to barely not climax. His breaths were heavy, and he stared at it. His penis like the rook from a chess game, a biological tower with popping veins and purplish flesh. Sonic cautiously held it again and slowly let nature take over. The lightning rod contracting once and then shooting onto the floor beneath him in spurts.
Sonic felt relived and shut the computer off. Softly he stood up and took the beer bottle fully out of him. Opening his bedroom door, he went back to the kitchen and buried the beer bottle beneath some of the disposed trash already in the wastebasket. He grabbed a paper towel and went back to his room and sopped up the cum off of his floor. He threw the paper towel away in his bathroom trashcan, and went back to his room. He turned on the television, turned on his video game system, and started creating a character in his role playing video game.
-Boots-2016