Title: Rocking the Suburbs

Author: edwardsmuse

Fandom: Gilmore Girls

Characters: Jess

Rating: PG

Summary: A Jess POV on the way home the first time. A little explanation where one was needed perhaps?

Disclaimer: While I am a Jess fan, this does not make Jess look very good. As fanfictions come though, it's pretty realistic. And that's what we're all for around here, isn't it? Oh, and I do not own the characters or the Ben Folds' song that lends this little fic its title.

This bus trip was really rather a prodigious one. He knew he should really regard it as such but he was exhausted. There would be a lot of time for that anyway, no doubt. After a few minutes of reading he started thinking about Luke, of all things. What a stupid pretence family is. For Jess anyway. There were about three other people on the bus and he began to wonder what they were doing there. He started to give them characters. He took a pencil from his bag and wrote in the free pages in the back of his book. They were all running. His characters invariably were. One from the weather, one from their work, one to the city excitement. And one left over. Jess shook his head and put his book down.

Rory was my what, my tenth girlfriend? Eleventh? Should I feel guilt? Is there any reason for me to be sorry for this?

No, of course not. She knew this was going to happen. She brought it on herself. I need to get away from that town. That town with its stupid ideals and its backward people. That's not reality. I need a real girlfriend. Not one who's the American Virgin Queen. Not Rory and her mother and her town who will protect her until death do them part. They're not even real enough for characters.

I'm not cruel. What I'm doing probably hurt her. What am I saying probably for? It hurt her. I'm running from her. She knows it better than anyone else in that town. But I'm not cruel. I didn't want to hurt her. She's got some amazing points to her. I enjoyed her in the beginning. But, well, she's just not me. And I'm not her. She'll realise that soon enough. And she's not real. She lives in the dream.

I wasn't even with her. I was with everyone but her. And nothing I did lived up to other people's expectations for her. What is that anyway? Didn't she have any expectations of her own? Sure she did. She told me all about them that one time. God, what was that, a week ago? I'm not running because I'm left out. I'm running because there's nothing for me in that town. Not even, damnit, inspiration, how clichéd is that?

Wow. Rory. That was one ride I don't want to repeat. I hope she finds her true love and her starry nights and her academics. Maybe I'll see her on TV one day when I'm a penniless writer. I bet I'll call her up and grovel. Apologise. I bet I'll tell her I loved her and ran from it all. I'm that stupid. I don't even know myself.

The bus stopped and Jess got off. He started thinking about whether or not he had enough money for a drink before tomorrow and walked in the direction of the bar across the street.

A/N Yes. Well. I haven't written a fic for six months since I've been focusing on other writing but I think that this is good writing for release. This is an idea I've been mulling over for a little while. It's deliberately vague (hopefully this will give different conclusions) where my other fics weren't and stylistically it's not up with my other ones either. Ah well, comment if you like it, if you don't like it, if I'm way off, if I'm way on, you guys know the drill. And there's always the incentive that I check out the fics of all my reviewers.