So at first, and maybe even throughout this whole story, I'll keep flashing back and forth in time. All for the dramatic effect ^^. But just to make it a bit clear, there are three 'sections'.

The far past, which is when the guys are around 1 years old.

The past, when the guys are around 10/11.

And the present, when the guys are 15/16.

In this chapter only the first two will appear, teenagers will be present in the next chapter :D So they're either 10/11 or little tots.

TMNT

It wasn't like nothing ever happened in New York. A lot happened during the day and during the night. Murders, suicides, robberies and weird stuff you wouldn't even manage to come up with unless you'd be completely insane. And yet somehow this murder was different, earning a spot in the newspaper, not the headlines but definitely important according to said newspaper.

It wasn't often a murder made its way into the newspaper, not on this scale at least. But apparently this murder was interesting enough. And that would haunt me for the rest of my life probably.

And maybe I was reading too much into it. Maybe I was misjudging the way people remembered.

They wouldn't care. They wouldn't store those newspapers and articles for so long like I was doing right now. They wouldn't have a whole box of stuff, hidden away from everyone but me. And they certainly would not remember T-

I was stopped when a loud scream resonated from down the hall. Seconds later followed by my .. son storming into the room. He was running so fast that he almost collided with me. I wasn't expecting the scream, nor was I expecting someone to almost run into me like that, but somehow I kinda was. It wasn't a secret that he was.. affected by what happened.

"Dad it's Raph! He's having a nightmare again"

As if on cue another screams tears through the house and he cringes slightly, not like I was not. I was just motivated to hide it. To hide my own distress from my second oldest son. Whom I refused to call my middle child.

I was the father in this household. I should not be showing how distressed or how utterly defeated I was.

"Go get your brother something to drink, I will see your brother" I spoke in a low voice, walking towards Raph's room, where another scream erupted.

TMNT

The first night had been a disaster.

It wasn't that bad when the second youngest arrived at his new home along with his 'parents' and welcomed by a slightly older sister. He was laughing, albeit a bit distant. It wasn't unexpected. They were told what this one went through, before all of this.

So yea, they were expecting him to be a bit withdrawn. And yet he seemed happy, acted like a normal baby would and the parents received a little bit of hope. It wasn't until the night that he realised that he was going to sleep without his older brother that he freaked out. The parents couldn't get him to stop crying.

So the next morning, despite really liking the little boy, they took him back to the foster home.

It was a new system, that the child could spend a couple of days with their new parents to see if it clicked, but it only applied to traumatised children like this one. And it clearly didn't work at all, something the caretakers had expected. So they brought him back, and immediately reunited him with his only remaining brother.

"Leo couldn't calm down either. I've never seen him like that before"

"I guess their bond is stronger than ever, they both went through a great ideal after all." The man said towards the girl. "And what did I tell you about naming them?! That's up to their foster parents."

"C'mon we can't go around without naming them. And their dad did name them before.. well everything. So yea, I will refer to him as Leo, and I will refer to him as Donnie" The girl said, gesturing to the two sleeping babies. Tear streaks were still on both their faces, the only evidence of the trip one of the had just made.

Now they were safely snuggled up against each other, like they somehow knew that they both shared the same memory of that day, like they knew they both had the same traumas that would probably cause some mental problems in the future, albeit unconsciously.

The man muttered something under his breath before shaking his head. "Either way, there has been another family that seemed to be interested in one of them."

"This fast?" She frowned. "I can't understand why they are so interested in these boys.. "

"Me neither, these two aren't in the best mental condition. But maybe because they've been in the news so much." The man shrugs. "It's a shame though, a lot of other children are waiting to be adopted"

"Agreed, I just hope someone is willing to adopt both. The woman said gently, stroking some of the black hair out of Leo's face. In response he whined slightly and snuggled closer to his little brother.

TMNT

"Y'know it's okay to admit you're scared" Donnie pointed out, albeit shyly. He clearly didn't want to upset his older brother. Not after the work we had done to gain his trust.

"I ain't" Raph said quickly in defesne, crossing his arms with a scowl on his face. His eyes darkening at the comment.

"What did we talk about otouto?" I almost whisper, nudging his shoulder gently. In response Raph glares at me.

"Stop that" Raph growls, and without directly referring to it I know he's talking about me talking Japanese. Something I can perfectly understand, but still.. he said he wanted to learn. But it was something that got kinda stuck over the last few months. And it was clear that his anger wasn't fully towards me.

Okay sure, he wasn't too happy about me calling him 'otouto' but I know he was mostly just stressed out of his mind.

"C'mon Raph, we're in the same grade, you'll be okay" I try again, putting a comforting hand on my little brother's shoulder. His face softens in return and he looks at me, gnawing at his bottom lip. The change is so sudden that it would've worried about it if I hadn't known him. Well a bit too soon for me to say something like that, but I did know him to a certain extent.

But it didn't matter, because I knew that this was how he really felt, scared and stressed out.

"Ya promise?" He eventually whispers, his shoulders slumping in defeat and I laugh softly.

"Raph" I say sternly but gently, standing in front of him and tipping his chin up. "I will be there the whole time, and Don will join us during the lunch break." I tell him and Don nods, putting a hand on Raph's shoulder as well.

"I ain't scared" Raph points out again and I laugh, ruffling his hair with a bright smile on my face.

"'course you aren't" I laugh, picking up my own backpack in return. I open the door but before leaving I turn towards Raph again. "The teachers know, albeit vaguely, they'll understand if you need to 'go to the bathroom' or something like that" I tell him, doing the air quotes thing with my fingers. Raph nods silently, knowing what I was talking about.

And it wasn't a secret that he wasn't comfortable around a lot of people, and the teachers would understand if he needed to be alone. Or why I'd need to go with him.

TMNT

My neck was definitely starting to hurt, not to mention the pins and needles that were attacking my legs right now. But I still did not move a muscle. I knew, despite how tired I was, how rare this moment was. Something I had learned during my 10 years of parenthood was that every moment was precious, even the late nights up, or the screaming and fights between siblings.

That didn't matter, every moment was amazing.

But even I, no matter how much I loved my children, couldn't deny that they got.. less exciting. Don't get me wrong, it was amazing to hear your son call you a dad, or hearing that they loved you. And Donatello coming home with good grades was sort of normal in our household. Just like the fact that they were not embarrassed to show their love towards me.

It was amazing to say, but it'd become a normality.

I honestly can't count the times either Donatello or Leonardo had fallen asleep while I was holding them, after a nightmare, when they were sick or some other reason, and sometimes we didn't even need a reason. It became a normality, and I would have no problem to put them to bed once they were fast asleep, or even close to falling asleep.

But this time was different. This wasn't a normality.

This was the first time it had happened after all.

So even when my body was starting to protest I never moved, softly stroking the hair of my second oldest son. Raphael's eyes were partly open, too tired to fully open them. And yet too stubborn, or too frightful, to close them. One hand was grasping the top of my pyjama while sucking on the thumb of his other hand.

"Dad?" A small voice suddenly called out, and somehow I felt bad for hoping it was Raphael's voice. But most of all feeling bad for being disappointed for it being Leonardo's voice.

"What is wrong my son?" I whispered, loud enough for my oldest to hear it but low enough to not to disturb the peaceful slumber Raphael was in right now. After all, it took me a while before I had even calmed him down. Or for him to accept the closeness.

"I thought… uh… do you want something? I can get you something if you want.. or Raph" Leo said hesitantly, rubbing the back of his neck hesitantly.

"That will not be necessary. But thank you for offering." I tell him gently, eyeing at my oldest son. Still, he doesn't move. "There is something else you would like to stay" I state as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"We.. we couldn't sleep."

Immediately my eyes soften and I stare at my oldest son. Of course they'd be affected.. of course they'd be scared.

"My son" I whispered, stretching out my free hand as an invitation. In response Raphael only tightened his grip on my clothes, refusing to let go or for me to let him go. I shushed him gently, stroking his black hair once again. It seemed to comfort him slightly and he relaxed him grip, albeit really faint.

Leonardo eventually reached the both of us and he obviously started to grow rather nervous, eying at Raphael with unease. Not because he didn't like his younger brother.

"I know this is hard on the both of you, and that this is something getting used to" I started, speaking Japanese so Raphael would not be able to hear it. Leo smiled sadly, more to assure me and I returned the gesture.

It was no secret that both Donatello and Leonardo struggled with Raphael coming into our lives so unexpectedly. They were not reluctant to share my attention, or anything like that. And it wasn't like we were short on space either. In fact we still had one spare room, even after Raphael had claimed the second spare room.

No that wasn't the problem, the problem was Raphael's traumatised mind.

The screaming and the walking on eggshells around the house. They were constantly worrying about scaring their brother, and in return they were terrified every time Raphael had another nightmare, and his screams. It was hard for all of us, no doubt that Raphael was the worst off, but I could not ignore the obvious distress the others were in.

Including me.

"I know" Leo whispered in return, also speaking Japanese. "I-I'm just.. scared."

"I understand my son. Why don't you get your brother and go to my room? I will be there shortly" I opted. Despite not having my wife at my side when I bought this house, I still kept the twin bed that was in our previous apartment. And maybe it was to forget my sleeping arrangement before coming to this apartment.

Donatello and Leonardo slept in my bed countless of times, during nightmares or thunderstorms. They grew out of it once they got a little older, but right now it seemed like we all need it.

Leo nodded, brightening slightly at the proposal and turned around again, running upstairs to get his younger brother.

"My son" I softly called out when Leonardo had disappeared. Raphael whimpered slightly and refused to meet my eyes, still he was obviously listening. I sighed, knowing that I was lucky that he was at least willing to listen to me. Willingly, without the usual fear.

"I am going to take you to my room my son, is that okay?"

Raphael seems to think about it for a second before resting his cheek against my chest again. Silently giving me his approval. I smile gently and slowly start to get up. Immediately Raphael tenses up immensely and I frown slightly. Still it was to be expected. Right now I was fairly happy that my room was on the same floor as the living room.

Not like Raphael was heavy to carry, he was too light actually, but just because walking the stairs with a 10 year old wasn't the easiest thing to do. When I entered my room Leonardo and Donatello were already sitting on my bed and I walked over as well.

The room wasn't extraordinary. It was a square room which was roughly divided into four equal squares. One of the 'squares' was surrounded by walls and was used as a bathroom. The square directly next to the bathroom was entirely filled with the twin bed. Both sides were met by the walls.

Behind the room was a big window, now shut with curtains for privacy. The rest of the room was filled with a bookshelf and two comfortable chairs to sit on. And of course a closet for clothes, and a box with stuff that I shielded from my sons. Though apparently not good enough, since Donatello had found it not too long ago.

I gently carried Raphael over to the bed and laid him down, and I got onto the bed as well, laying in between Raphael and Donatello. While Leonardo was laying besides the latter. It was a little sad to see how divided they still were. Leonardo and Donatello obviously clinging to each other while Raphael was the one left out.

But it certainly wasn't like that. Well it was, but it wasn't like they didn't like the newest addition.

It was complicated.

TMNT

So, what do you think? Like it, hate it, love it? Tell me what you think, or what you think might've happened ^^

EDIT: Many people asked me about Mikey. But I can assure you, he will be in the story! In fact, he'll be the main character along with Raph. So no worries. :) (And thanks for all the reviews!)