Insane in the Brainiac
"SOS! MAYDAY! MAYDAY! BRAINIAC HAS INVADED THE WATCHTOWER! ALL HANDS TO BATTLE STATIONS! CANCEL THE THREE RING CIRCUS! CLOSE THE MEGA MALL! CLOSE THE PETTING ZOO" Robin screamed frightfully as everyone ran amok
"oohhh… what's all the noise? Is there a party?" Kara asked groggily, waking up from her nap to see alarms blaring and everyone running in circles
"eh, it's just a drill buttercup. Come on, let's go back to bed" Alex yawned, Kara following her older sister back into their room
"ok, ok! Everyone please calm down! I'm gonna go see what that big hunk of junk wants, we're gonna do the fighting, yadda yadda yadda, said piece of robot junk has a system failure and goes kablooey and we all go out for milkshakes!" Black Mask bellowed loudly, everyone standing at attention
"NOOOO! I wont let you Roman! You'll, You'll get… Brainiac-programmed!" Robin gasped in horror, everyone else screaming as well
Black Mask sighed irately as the hysterics continued. If he wanted to do something right, he'll have to do it himself. Grumbling incoherent death threats to the Boy Wimp, Black Mask climbed up the service ladder and up to the tower where he came face to face with the enormous robot that had oh so many glitches it would give the all great HAL 9000 a run for his money
"Hello… Blah-Blah-Blah-Bla-Bla-Bla-Black Mask. Howwww can-can eyyyyeeeee help yyyyooouuuu?" Brainiac said in his digitized shortcircuiting voice
"hey. So listen, we told you once, we told you a thousand hundred nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine times; WE DO NOT HAVE ANY EXOBITES! Cant you ever get that through that stupid outdated brain of yours, you lousy bucket of bolts! So here's the dealio, ok? You're gonna restore our systems, you're gonna deactivate all your crappy automaton copies, and you're gonna sign a contract that says you will never ever come near the Watchtower within 35 feet. Am I understood?" Black Mask asked sharply, only to groan in annoyance as Brainiac blared Adele's Set Fire to the Rain over the entire Watchtower speakers
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! IT BURNS US! IT BURNS US!" Firefly shrieked
"No…no…no… make it go away, please… no more big fat British singers…" Booster Gold babbled, an irate Orca beating him over the head like a bongo
"….I really HATE robots from the planet Colu. Yup. I hate em a lot. In fact, this is the last straw. I'm so upset I could brag about it. I'd rather tear out my brain core and skip rope with it over the nearest four-way intersection and go on living like how I do now!" Black Mask grumbled as Brainiac immediately shut down and clunked to the floor
"…did I just say the codeword for deactivation?" Black Mask asked himself, puzzled
"yup. That's all it ever took. Well, sure glad that's all over" Batwoman sighed in relief
"ME AM BIZARRO! BIZARRO NUMBER ONE" Bizarro hollered loudly
"Kate, get me my shotgun" Black Mask ordered, Batwoman obeying