She wasn't his Willow anymore, she was Oz's and suddenly the world was spinning and nothing made sense anymore. The angels weren't meant to be tempted and the demons weren't supposed to be cherished and suddenly that was her world, the demon was the angel's world. He couldn't- wouldn't lose her to him and suddenly it all made sense in the worst kind of way. She wouldn't be another Jesse or Jenny, another nameless face that floated behind his eyelids. He knew demons, knew of Angel and Darla, Drusilla and Spike. He knew they looked innocent, all smiles and laughs. He knew they all changed, all teeth and glowing yellow eyes. That's what Oz was, slowly but surely he would change. The silent comrade he had come to know would be nothing but fur and nails and teeth.
Jesse, Jenny, Jesse, Jenny, Jesse, Jenny, Jesse, Jenny, Jesse, Willow. Suddenly it wasn't a choice or an option, it was a necessity. He needed, wanted, had to protect her like he had to breathe and the steel metal in his unwavering hand felt more natural that he would have expected. The phone call was quick and the lies rolled easily off his tongue and soon he's in a deserted alley waiting for another nameless face to arrive and disappear. "Hey man." The words were cool and lacked emotion, the usual monotone that used to amuse him. Now it made the cool steel in his hand all the more welcoming and comforting. Frenzied brown eyes met calm hazel ones that widened when reality hit him as a loud bang resided through the narrow alley. Blood trickled down pale skin and a green logo shirt and his eyes were devoid of both demon and man as he hit the cold concrete with a gentle thud.
"Oz, Xander? You guys OK?" The angel spoke and soon she was there with her halo of auburn hair and her shining green eyes. Except now they weren't shining and she wasn't smiling that smile that used to be just for him and suddenly reality snaps back in place with a harsh sob from his girl. Except she wasn't his girl, his love is no longer consuming and suddenly the body is no longer a beacon of his feelings, but proof that he was becoming what he had sought out to kill. The cold steel of the weapon he had stolen was no longer a beautiful solution and her once laughing eyes were void of life, just like her demon's eyes were.
"Xander… h-how could…" She couldn't form the question and suddenly the hell mouth wasn't terrifying, wasn't his worst nightmare, as she turned away and ran from him. She ran with fear in her eyes and a silent scream on her crimson lips and suddenly the gun seemed more welcoming than it had a second before. He knew what was coming, accusation and anger from his other best friend, a person he trusted his life with, Buffy. Disappointment and sorrow from his only father figure, Giles. Hate and rage from his love, his angel Willow. The gun whispered promises of peace forever and ignorance of what their reactions would truly be like and the last thing he heard was Willow's voice, oddly concerned and panicked as she screamed his name, before the gun shot drowned it out.
Suddenly the promises didn't matter and her voice was talking again, teasing and taunting and cruel as her sharp nails dug painfully into his skin. Buffy's laughter rang through the endless space and Gile's eyes glinted mercilessly as he watched with an almost bemused smirk. Jesse had cackled and joined Willow with a joyful smirk. They tortured him and their laughter still rang in his ears when others took their place. He wasn't able to catch a breath between the exchange, though. The fire that engulfed him and the chains that cut into his skin were always present to take away that more than needed relief.