Useless
He should destroy her stupid hovel in the woods. Destroy it, bury her with it and be done. Merlin could feel the darkness of the idea creeping up inside of him. It almost felt like it was alive. Like vengeance was alive and, it felt good. What Morgana had done to Gaius, to him, to Camelot. Now that he knew her exact location, there was only one option. His magic was powerful enough again to blow the hovel into bits and pieces. To make her regret what she did. Destroying the Fomorroh and almost losing Gaius had taken much of his strength, but he was ready for this.
He forced 'her' to live in a hovel? No, he didn't. It was of her own doing. She betrayed them, turned her back on friends and family. A lot of good people had died because of her. She couldn't blame it on him anymore, these were her own choices. Arthur had been merciful, and she hated him.
Gazing down from his hiding place, Merlin journeyed back to the time when Morgana first discovered her magic. She had been terrified. He had tried to help her, but he couldn't. Not without revealing himself to her. What else could he have done? It wasn't as if poisoning her had been an honourable deed, but it had been unavoidable. There had been no time to think. All of Camelot would have perished otherwise.
The darkness swirled through his body, magic visible on the tip of his fingers. All he had to do was snap them together and Morgana would never bother them again. He knew she was inside, he'd seen her go in himself. It was so easy. Life would be less complicated without her. Arthur would be save.
A blackbird started to sing, not far from his location. In an instant it pulled him back into the light with a gasp. What if he would destroy her? Would it make him feel better? Would he be any better than her? No, if he did this, he would become like her. Full of hatred, twisted, living in remorse. It would consume him.
Breaking his gaze with Morgana's hovel, he turned and sank down on the cool forest floor. The darkness inside making way for exhaustion and sadness. His magic was still boiling inside of him though, and his hair felt like it was standing on end, sizzling and hurting his scalp. He had to let go, or he would explode.
What good did all of his knowledge do? About magic, about knowing where Morgana lived, of the dangers to Camelot... He couldn't tell Arthur about it, and it made him feel useless.
Releasing his build up frustration, a bolt of lightning flew high into the air where it exploded far above the hovel. Useless indeed. The loud bang and sparks of fire made Merlin duck for cover. With a sigh of relief he didn't wait to see what Morgana would do...
He turned and made his way into the forest.
Morgana was still alive, and the birds had stopped their song...
The End