January 30, 2001
"How does it feel to be having an affair with an older woman?" Lily asked, giggling next to James's head.
James chuckled then shook his head in embarrassment. Lily held a joint in her pale fingers, while she and James snuggled close together on her bed.
"You're not actually any older than me today than you were yesterday, you know?" James asked.
"I'm a woman, now," Lily said, putting her joint to her red lips and inhaling deep.
James didn't smoke but he didn't seem to mind if she did. Still he surprised her when she exhaled and he grabbed the joint from her and took a puff. James coughed and Lily laughed.
"Finally curious?" Lily said then kissed the side of James's head.
"I was feeling a little high anyway from breathing your smoke. But I suppose I am a bit curious. And it is your birthday…," James said before handing the joint back.
Lily hummed along to the Hooverphonic song playing in the background on her stereo as she inhaled again. She had just bought their latest album, 'The Magnificent Tree', last week and it was really growing on her. Lily felt suddenly filled with happiness to be lying next to her boyfriend, stoned and listening to good music.
Lily handed the joint back to James who held it in his hand for a moment, considering it between two dark fingers.
"What?" Lily asked, kissing James's cheek affectionately.
"I was just… no, it's stupid," James said and puffed on the joint, passing it back and managing not to cough this time.
"Now you've got to tell me. No teasing!" Lily said then laughed.
James groaned while Lily inhaled again.
"I was just picturing you lying on the sofa, smoking one of these in our new place this summer. It's an image I would be happy to come home to," James said.
"Awww," Lily said then kissed James on the lips, breathing smoke into his mouth.
Lily pulled away and said, "I'm so fucking high."
"It's weird. I thought it would be like being drunk. It's not exactly," James said.
"I've never been drunk," Lily admitted and rolled over onto James, her body half draped over his.
James took the joint from her and puffed again. She watched his full lips and wrap around the joint and inhale. It was sort of sexy. Lily realised that she had never made love while high. She thought it was probably loads of fun but she also thought she would be just as likely to pass out on top of James right now.
Lily took the joint from James again and inhaled one last time, not much of it left. She put the bit that was left in the ashtray on the night stand on the other side of James. She then smiled and kissed James. It was a slow, tired kiss that felt like it lasted an eternity because she was high.
With her thigh rubbing between James's legs rather incidentally she could tell she wasn't the only one a bit turned on at the moment. But there was nothing to do about it.
Lily pulled away from his mouth and rested her head on his chest, listening to the thudding of his heart.
"What do you suppose being an adult means?" Lily asked.
"I don't know. I don't think anyone does. It's just an arbitrary number," James said.
"Is it? It's funny. I don't feel any different now than I did when I was sixteen and I didn't feel much different at sixteen than when I was fifteen. But I definitely feel different now than I did when I was fifteen. How does that make sense?" Lily asked.
"I… I don't know. Fuck, Lils. So many numbers," James said then groaned.
"How will I feel when I'm twenty-eight? Thirty-eight? I wonder what I'll be like. Will I feel the same as I do now?" Lily said.
"Only time will tell," James said kissing the top of her head.
"Yeah. Time," Lily said, feeling herself beginning to drift away.