Prologue
What it's Worth
~caress my cheeks every now and then…
but maybe then is they way it would always be~
"Peeta…" Katniss held her lover's hands tightly and looked deep in his pained blue eyes. In times of trouble and great depression, just looking deep in those pair of electric blue eyes calms her down, but this time… it won't work.
"We can tell everyone that we- I mean everything! Wasn't an act! The thing about us…
"peeta…"
I meant to made my voice sound soothing, but my emotions are running high deep inside me that I can't help but let out a small waver of uncertainty.
"We can convince them that we just pretended to pretend…
I know I'm blurting nonsense. I know I can't convince her that everything's alright when I can't even convince myself.
"peeta."
I tried to protect him despite the fact that I know my life is on the line, that my family, friend's lives are on the line. Even Gale. Prim.
"We can show them that we really do love each - !
"PEETA."
I can't bare it any longer. Seeing him like this…He's suffering. When I'm the one that should suffer.
I took a deep breath and regained my composure. I looked at him with the most convincing look I can muster. And told him the words the two of us tried to deny.
"It's Never Going To Work."
I emphasized each and every word. It pained me to see him like this. His already pale face became even paler…
He looked down as though he admitted defeat. His hands clenched mine, shaking in frustration and fear of losing everything…
I unwillingly released my hands from his tight grasp, and looked down the muddy ground. I started to look around our surroundings to desperately avoid his gaze, green… green trees, vines hanging loosely. I even forgot that we're In the middle of the forest.
After telling everyone the truth about my pretend relationship with peeta in order to instigate a rebellion in live television, we knew that we have to prove it to the people in the different districts, by pretending that we don't love each other. And after that, we ended up running desperately away from the crowd.
How ironic it is to pretend that we do love each other when we really don't, and now to pretend to not love each other when in reality, we do.
All my Life I did nothing but pretend… pretend in front of the cameras, pretend to be strong, pretend to love Peeta… pretend that I don't.
I heard him breathe a deep and growling sigh. And suddenly I caught his gaze locked on mine.
"Peeta… I – I'm –
"You're free katniss…" He suddenly spoke.
No I'm not.
"You can be with whoever you choose. To start a family without the trouble of living. To start a life … a life that you deserve. I want you to be happy Katniss, and I know that I can't give you that happiness."
No. You're the one I need! I can't be happy…
He started shaking his head making his blond hair messier than it already is. He looked down covering his eyes.
"But I know that Gale can…"
He then stepped back as if officially cutting our relationship. And I know that from this moment onward, I no longer know of a boy named Peeta Mellark.
Our rebellion went on for almost a year and won over the capitol, they fairly gave us the privileges and rights we deserve and to treat us the same way they treat the people living in the capitol. They gave us every thing we asked for… everything BUT the dissolution of the Hunger Games.
I still don't know why they decided to continue the hunger games even though they devised a plan to virtually kill the players inside the arena until only one remains. The same rules, the same goal. Only, the children don't have to get hurt. Physically.
They still have to experience pain but the moment they get out of the arena, the wounds magically disappear.
But I know whether they win or not, the same nightmares appear every night… just like mine does.
This is the result of our rebellion. This is what I gave up my life with Peeta for.
Please Tell me What you think… I know it's waaaayyy different from the summary but I'm trying to start it slowly. Please Tell me If I should finish it or write a different one with a better plot. SUGGESTIONS PLEASE!
I'm starting to rewrite this. sorry for the VERY LONG wait. ^_^