Disclaimer: I don't own this
Author's Note:
This was a difficult story to write. I tried to show that although she was obsessed with Rand, deep down Maggie loved Shea, but by the time she was born, Maggie was just a walking corpse, any fire and independence she had once had already gone. She didn't know about Mikhail and the others, or she would have given Shea to them to raise. She didn't even know what was happening to her; Rand never bothered to tell her what would happen to her if they separated, even though he'd already selfishly bound them together. When I first read Shea and Jacques's story, I hated Maggie. I thought she was foolish and weak, just like Rand. Writing this story made me hate her less as I tried to rationalize her point of view. I think I came pretty close.
The song lyrics are from Evanescence's song, Even In Death
Enjoy and Review!
Give me a reason to believe that you're gone
Maggie couldn't help the slow tears that leaked from her eyes. They came directly from her heart. He'd been gone for so long, and he never would have left her if he'd had a choice. And he hadn't been home in weeks; that was the first place she'd gone.
I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong
She knew he was dead, felt the separation all the way to her soul. It cut so deeply she longed to sink to her knees and sob.
Moonlight on the soft brown earth
It leads me to where you lay
Maggie had walked along the path deep in the mountains where he told her he would rest if he didn't want to go home to Noelle. The soil here was rich and rejuvenating, but she felt cold and bereft without him there with her. Without him, this area was nothing but dirt, the land as empty as she was.
They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home
She had lit a candle there and said a few prayers. In her heart, she cried for him. She had been his true lifemate, and to her that made her more his wife than Noelle had been. Maggie had certainly loved him more. Rand hadn't even loved Noelle, had only stayed with her because she forced him to. Noelle, that venomous bitch, had cost her everything. It had to have been her who murdered Rand. Maggie would never forgive her for that and prayed that she was rotting in hell.
I will stay forever here with you
My love
The softly spoken words you gave me
Even in death our love goes on
Maggie looked at the picture of Shea across the room from her, perched on a low table. She would have done this long ago if Shea hadn't needed her. Knowing how desperately Rand had wanted a daughter, she had stayed to make sure that Shea survived, because Maggie couldn't bear to deny him anything. But now that Shea no longer needed her, she was free to go to him at last.
Some say I'm crazy for my love, Oh my love
But no bonds can hold me from your side, Oh my love
They don't know you can't leave me
They don't hear you singing to me
Maggie gripped the razor tightly in her hand as she tried to banish the pain that swamped her. She had so many regrets, but soon, none of them would matter. Soon she was see Rand again and the wretched misery of the past eighteen years would fade away. She could almost hear his voice again...
I will stay forever here with you
My love
The softly spoken words you gave me
Even in death our love goes on
Maggie slid the razor across her skin almost lovingly. The pain in her heart was so severe she didn't even feel the stinging slashes on her wrists. She welcomed the pain.
Some say I'm crazy for my love, Oh my love
But no bonds can hold me from your side, Oh my love
They don't know you can't leave me
They don't hear you singing to me
Beads of dark red blood welled up and began to drip freely down her arm, a crimson river of all the tears she had shed over the years as she raised their daughter alone. Shea was beautiful, smart, and strong; everything Rand would have wanted in a daughter. How she wished they could have raised her together. She was sure she would have been the mother Shea deserved if he had been there.
And I can't love you, anymore than I do
Maggie almost felt afraid of the weakness in her body and the dangerous coldness sweeping through her. But the pain was ending, and she loved him so much it hurt, hurt more than death ever could. And if death could bring her back to him? Well, then death was a price worth paying. Soon she would pass out, free to dream of her beloved, finally with him once more.
I will stay forever here with you
My love
The softly spoken words you gave me
Even in death our love goes on
Maggie's limbs were so heavy that she couldn't lift them anymore. She drifted off to sleep, knowing she'd never wake.
Some say I'm crazy for my love, Oh my love
But no bonds can hold me from your side, Oh my love
They don't know you can't leave me
They don't hear you singing to me
And I can't love you, anymore than I do
People die, but real love is forever.
As she faded away, the last thing Maggie heard was an anguished cry...