A.N.- So I pushed this out because this idea has literally been in my head for like a month now. This is angst Rucas so that is your warning. I'll try and do a fluffy piece this week to even everything out. Italics are flashbacks. They are in in their early/mid twenties when this takes place.
The summer rain poured down from the sky cleansing the earth below. Riley's hands brushed over the photo album before her that had seen a fair share of years. Tears threatening to fall over down her cheeks. They looked so happy. Her mind played with the what ifs of life of scenarios where their life could have been different, but it just left sadness when the images faded in her mind. His touch, secrets whispered between them, and stolen glances, where did it go wrong? But she didn't need a reminder, because she already knew.
He was always ready to move forward with her, but she never was. Her cat Meeko jumped down on the ground running the course of its body back and forth trying to provide comfort. Riley's hand dropped the photograph in in attempts to find the cat.
She should have rid herself of all these reminders before today, the love letters, hopes and dreams, the yellow folder with a faded Lucas & Riley 4 ever etched among the tattered sides. She never could bring herself because she was always a dreamer. She dreamed that he would come back, that they belonged together. But it was never the right time, all of her previous boyfriends with bright green eyes, so she could never escae him, at points she would close her eyes and pretend that it was him holding her during the late hours of the night. His touch was something that could never wash away.
She heard a knock on her door; probably Maya, she assumed. Maya knew the significance of today, on the way to the door her arm shifted papers that fell to the floor. She froze as one paper out of all that hit the floor.
You are cordially invited to the wedding of
Susan Anne Darling & Lucas Matthew Friar
On June 4th 2019
Her breath got caught in her throat, her body was petrified as another memory played its way through her mind.
The lovers had their lips attached as their hands explored each other's body as if this was the first time. They had gotten to a point where they couldn't deny each other, but every time Lucas brought up what they were, the mood was broken and Riley would leave him on the bed. Lucas needed Riley tonight, so he refrained from mentioning it if that meant that he got her. Because to him it would always be her.
"Riley," his voice jagged as Riley focused all her attention at the base of his neck, Lucas found he had to close his eyes to focus, but her perfume was clouding his mind.
"I love you," He didn't even mean to utter the words, they just slipped out of his lips. He felt her lips separate from his skin and he let out a sigh. Riley began to grab her clothes that were scattered across the floor.
"Riley, we need to talk about this." The brunette avoided eye contact.
"No Lucas, we don't." Her voice shaky because she couldn't bring herself to have this conversation; she wasn't ready. If they did become something then it was possible that she could lose him, and that was something that she couldn't afford.
"Would you stop?!" He raised his voice. "Every time we hit this wall. I need to tell you how I feel Riley. I want to tell people that you're my girlfriend. I want you to bring you to Texas and have you meet my parents. I want to marry you one day, have kids and grow old together." She briefly stopped slipping on her left shoe balancing on one foot.
"You agreed to this Lucas, no labels. Just me and you." She turned and headed towards the door, but his voice pierced through the room.
"What if that's not enough anymore?" Riley closed her eyes feeling the cracks in her heart growing larger, but her insecurity was still larger.
"It has to be." She heard Lucas let out a sigh.
"I'll wait for you Riley. I'll be here whenever you're ready, I love you." With his words still hanging in the room she slipped out closing the door behind her. She felt her legs grow wobbly barely able to support her. A single stream of tears escaping from her eyes before the back of her hand pushed the tears and the feelings further down.
Riley's breaths became shorter as she felt her own throat closing in. Why were the memories this vivid after all these years? Why couldn't she put the Texan behind her, but deep down she knew the answer, it was because she still loved him.
Maya forced her way into the apartment after hearing the sobs of Riley Matthews. She sunk to the floor and wrapped her arms around her best friend trying her best to be there for her.
"Riley," She soothed as she ran her fingers through her hair. Her gaze scanned the room seeing all the photographs spread out across the coffee table and the wedding invitation on the floor.
"Riles, why are you doing this to yourself?" She wondered to herself out loud. The falling out of Riley and Lucas was far worse than anyone could have anticipated. They were treating the symptoms but the not the disease infecting their friendship. It got to the point where Lucas decided that he couldn't be hurt anymore and put space. The first week Riley hadn't come out of her room and hardly ate. The second week she attempted to go out but it was clear that she had lost her 'inner happy Riley'. Week three the Riley that was hanging out at the normal places was just a shell of what she used to be. Maya tried everything in her power to snap her back, but Maya feared that it was out of her control. She couldn't fix Riley, because in the end she just broke things.
"You know why Maya," She tried to push down the feelings lingering once more.
"Don't say it Riley."-
"I still love him." Her words were soft spoken. But what she wouldn't give to be able to say those words a couple years ago.
"I know," the blonde confessed and then let out a sigh.
"But you can't keep doing to yourself." She picked up the wedding invite and ripped it in half. Riley's eyes widened but she remained silent. The blonde stood to her feet and offered her best friend a hand who took it reluctantly.
"What are you doing Maya?" She recognized in that gleam in her eye. Maya went and grabbed a nearby box and held it out.
"You need closure, real closure." Riley took the box timidly confusion laced her face.
"I want you to get rid of it, all of it." Somehow Riley doubted that it was a suggestion. She placed the box on the nearby couch and picked up the memories scattered on the table and slowly placed in in the box. Each item was glanced over as she converted it to memory.
"I can't." She said simply, Lucas just desperately hoping that he heard her wrong.
"What?" Riley's eyes fell to the ground as she felt the lump in her throat growing larger. Why was this so hard for her?
"I can't be your girlfriend Lucas." His face fell dejectedly the cracks instilling deeper into his heart.
"Why not?" He asked trying not to let the anger overwhelm him. The distance between them felt like it grew miles apart.
"I-I don't know," was the easiest answer that she could come up with without explaining everything. How could she tell him that she couldn't lose him, and if they were together it was inevitable. There was a silence that settled between them as Lucas's features grew stone cold. He was becoming more interested in his shoes. He took a deep breath before breaking the it.
"I can't do this Riley." His voice became shaky and Riley's brown eyes pierced his green ones.
"What do you mean Lucas?"
"You have made a decision, and now so have I." He paused as he ran his hand through his hair trying to come up with the right words to say.
"We can't be friends Riley, every time I'm around you…" He closed his eyes wondering if this was just as hard for her as it was for him.
"I can't just be your friend, I love you too much, so I'm asking you. If you love me at all, please"- His words faded as the tears started gathering in both their eyes.
"Lucas"- She felt her world growing dark, his face hardened as her tone gave it away. She couldn't love him like that. He couldn't stay here, her scent was intoxicating and he was afraid he would do something that he would regret. He couldn't bare the way she was looking at him, like he was a wounded puppy that she could take care of.
"Goodbye Riley," he picked up the remaining pieces of his pride and turned his back on his princess. As she watched him walking away, her legs gave way sending her to the ground, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I love you Lucas."
"I'm going to take this and destroy it." She told her best friend. It was getting to the point that she was concerned for her, Lucas was moving on with his life, so should she. Riley deserved to be happy. Oddly enough she didn't argue with her with was a change of pace. Riley merely accepted it the fate of the memories.
"Come on, let's go to Topanga's." She offered a sympatric smile.
"I'll buy you some chocolate cake." It was the first glimpse of a smile that had been seen by Maya since Riley had received the wedding invitation. The two headed towards the door, Riley's gaze turned back to the room and everything seemed new somehow like this was the start of a new chapter. She turned off the lights and joined her best friend as they strolled down the familiar roads to her mother's bakery.
The plates full of tempting cake was set on the table and the forks dug in bringing the chocolate to their lips. Riley closed her eyes as the flavors were melting on her palate. For a second she forgot about her broken heart and that today was the day that Lucas told her that he couldn't be near her anymore.
"So how are your classes going? Are you getting any more photography jobs?" The blonde asked determined to keep her distracted. Riley's lips stretched into a small smile.
"Everything is going according to plan. I should be able to graduate in the fall, then I can spend more time accepting more photography jobs till I figure out what comes next." To be completely honest with herself she had no idea what would come next. She was gaining more notice with her projects and receiving more projects to work on. She had to remember to thank Uncle Shawn for the camera that he gave her back in middle school, it turned out that she had a knack for it.
"Well with editing and photography talent, any newspaper would be lucky to have you." The compliments started to build up Riley's self-confidence.
"Thanks Maya, and if I get word from the couple that I sent my application to, you'll be one of the first ones to know." They exchanged smiles to each other as Maya wrapped her arms loosely around her in a hug. It seemed like things were finally starting to get back to normal.
Lucas's pace slowed as all the memories started to flood his mind with the familiar sights, smells and streets. He saw out of the corner of his eye a sign for Topanga's. The brunette's face that caused his heart to break over and over again flashed in his mind. He could close his eyes and instantly hear her laugh and see her smile. His eyes fluttered open again wanting to push the memories of Riley down; just thinking of her would cause his bruised heart to start to flutter.
The building looked different than he remembered, but it changed with the times in order to keep up with the competition that sprung up down the street. He ventured towards the window and felt his breath hitch seeing Riley and Maya sitting at a booth inside. He wanted to run in and talk to her, but he couldn't bring himself to move. He missed her, but he knew he was just fooling himself to think that he could have a life without Riley Matthews in it. She had affected his life too much in order for him to push her out completely. He had a photograph of them that he kept in his drawer that he would pull out every now and then just to remember her and wonder if she missed him as much as he missed her.
She looked good, time aged her well. He would say he couldn't remember the last time he saw her but that would be a lie. That conversation was ingrained in his mind and would always be, no matter how he tried to forget.
"Lucas!" The sound of a women giggling filled the air. He turned his attention to the brunette that had come back to retrieve him.
"Come on Lucas, we're going to miss the movie." She wrapped her arm looping it through his and planting a kiss on his lips; Lucas half smiled down at his fiancé.
"We wouldn't want that, now would we?" But as they started walking his head turned back looking back at Topanga's wishing nothing more than to go back to the familiar memories and Riley.
A.n.- The next part is Lucas focused and it goes in a little more detail, so no worries there, you'll get answers. Please review and let me know what you think.