I Know How He Feels Song Fic, a bones fanfic

This idea has been bouncing around in my head for a while. The song is I Know How He Feels by Reba McEntire. I love the song but it is very bittersweet, really about realizing too late what you had.

I do not own Bones. If I did, they would be totally be together. I, for one, would love to see the two of them try to navigate a relationship.

When I heard that familiar voice, my heart stopped dead in its tracks. Across the room I could see him there. A ghost from my past...

Why had it not occurred to me? I've been gone from DC for two years. I finally caved after Angela's war-like campaign. She said I had to come for my godchild's first birthday. It had been Angela's idea to come here, to come to the Founding Fathers for a girl's night out. How had she not considered he might be there? I could feel Angela watching me, knew she'd heard his voice. I couldn't worry about whether or not Angela planned on running into him.

But he's too caught up to notice me. She must be his new love. I never dreamed that it would hurt this much, it's just…

He sat at one of the high-top tables on the other side of the bar. I could just see his table. Something sharp tore at my heart when I noticed the beautiful woman on the receiving end of that smile.

I know how he feels, how warm his touch is, oh how he feels, how soft his kiss is. And it cuts right down to the bone 'cause I let him go. I know how he cares, how strong his love can be. When he believes it's real. Oh I've been there and I know how he feels.

I couldn't help but remember when he smiled at me like that. Strange to think how long it had been. Memories I'd kept locked away came flooding back at the sound of his voice. Cases worked, drinks, moments shared, confessions of love and learning the difference. That last year, when we had been together, had been the best of my life.

As long as I kept him out of sight, I kept from going out of my mind. Tried to believe that leavin' him was somehow justified. But tonight there's no denying what a love like his is worth. He once looked at me the way he's lookin' at her. What a lucky girl.

Her eyes darted back to Angela to find a hint of guilt in her friend's eyes. She shook her head against the apology hovering on her friend's lips. All she needed to do was concentrate on their conversation…be sure to never allow her gaze to wonder to his table again. She couldn't remember now why she'd ended the relationship. After nearly a year together he'd asked her about living together. He'd never pushed or pressured her. And even she couldn't deny it was the next logical step in a romantic relationship. But it didn't make the thought any less scary. She'd asked for time, hoping he would forget. When he didn't, she refused his offer. The disappointment in his eyes ate at her until she decided the best thing was to end the relationship entirely. He'd all but begged her not to but her mind was made up. Shortly after she left the Jeffersonian and accepted a position at Stanford. The prestigious California university had been trying to lure her away for years.

I know how he feels, how warm his touch is. I know how he feels, how soft his kiss is. And it cuts right down to the bone 'cause I let him go. I know how he feels, how strong his love can be when he believes it's real. Oh I've been there and I know how he feels.

I dared another glance to where he sat with that other woman. She was stunning. She had dark hair but was too far to see eye color. I hear Angela say she's a pediatrician. Booth always did prefer smart, independent women. That's one of the things I loved about him. He looked for substance beyond the shiny surface baubles. A wave of nausea swept through me when he leaned across the table to kiss her.

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. I needed to know about her, about him and if he was happy. Angela's assurances were bittersweet. That yes, he was happy but it had taken a long time. She was the first woman he'd dated since me and he'd been seeing her almost a year. My heart nearly stopped when Angela whispered he'd recently asked her opinion on engagement rings. The words did not come out but I could see in her eyes that it could have been a ring for me, although I still don't believe in marriage. I've not had a relationship since Booth. There have been men. I've had countless, meaningless encounters that I am privately ashamed of. It's beyond painful to know I could still be with him but for my own fears.

And it's killing me, Oh I know how he feels.