jay and silent bob's
fuckin' fucked up adventure
Place: quick stop. leonardo, nj
date: 12/25/2001
time:10:30
"damn it!" "time base.""this is buzz.." come in.....a flux in the space time continunum has caused a course deviation.....i'm coming out somewhere in new jersey in the early twentieth century come in.........
prepare for impact 4.3.2.1...
"Shut up computer....fuck i see the ground."
"SMASHHHHCRACKAKAKAKBAWOOSH!"
"holy mother fuckin' shit...bob what the fuck is that....looks like a fuckin phone booth....goddman it's openin' kill the fucker.........!
"stop and desist primitive past dweller."
"who the fuck are you tellin' me what to do ya' crazy fuck?""you fuckin' santa claus or some shit?"
"no i am agent beta gamma of the time force.""i'm from the year 10,000,000."
"Now that i have told you i have to kill you."
"whoooo noooo ya' don't fucker won't that mess some time shit up like in that crazy delorean swartchennegger shit movie."
"no any ways now you die morons!"
"fuck that!""bob double duty"
"whack swhackatat blickety blowe""oof biff bam ugggggh."
"now lets get this jean claude timecop fucker in the dumpster b'fore that fag dante comes and tries to bogart this fuckin' time machine."
"well come on fatass lets hop in here and see what the fuckin' future holds."
"letsse." june ,7. 2015
location...uh ummm bob what fuckin' state we in?"
"new jersey, moron."
"hey fuck you fat ass."
"enter."
whackazappatappakegga zimmmmbabwayyyyyyy whooosssh frtttttt cazork
"hole shiiiiiitttt mutha fuckin' time tunnelllllllll....."
blink. zink. spoinkseeboink
"hold the hell on lunchbox...."
kashissssh
"wooooo holeee hell thers cars and shits flyin' around...""and fuck look theres the quick stop....what the who izzat us."
"ha ha look at you jay......your a fuckin' fat ass."
"shut up."
"you look even worse fudge packer."
"hide your fuckin face....don't look at your self your fucckin' head'll explode or sum weird fuckin' doc brown shit'll happen....."
"lets go into the quick stop and see waht that homo dante looks like...."
ding
"ACT NATURAL..."
"DOO DOO DEE LA LA.""WHISTLE WHISLTE."
"shit bob dante must not work here anymore."
"hold on look at that picture on the wall."
"dante hicks...died 12/25/01 killed by crazed customer claiming to be from the future."
"fuckin' shit that crazy terminator fuck musta killed 'im right after we left."
"i know hes a stupid fuck face but we can't let him die."
"lets go."
"letsee we left about 10:30."
soooo.
12/25/01....10:28.
"mutha fuckin' time circuits on."
whoooose yooooquierotacobelllll zimmba scrack krackle swahhhhhboosh
kashisshh
"shhh... bob there he is hes talking to us....."
"run up and snap his fuckin' neck then put his fuckin' body in the booth and send his ass to the middle fuckin' ages.
"snooch to tha mutha fuckin naga nooch."
"die ass hole."
snap!
beep 10/6/900
kaswishhh
"ok thats done so lets go home and watch some fuckin' bootleg japanese porn."
end
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