Just a cute oneshot that popped into my head :) I love me some daddy!klaine. Thanks for reading, and please leave a review! Also, I have a picture of what their daughter looks like in my head, in case you wanted to know. Here's the link: . /_ViEVR0GBSlk/THQPTsEAqgI/AAAAAAAADJI/kuXUAGIOB0I/s1600/IMG_4209+
She's such a cutie ;)
Disclaimer: I don't own Kurt or Blaine. But I do own Nellie, so don't steal :( Thanks!
Kurt sits bolt upright in bed, his eyes flying open as the sharp wailing fills their apartment. He groans in frustration and rubs his hands over his face. He feels like he just fell asleep, finally. He glances at the bedside clock with bleary eyes—it's been nearly two hours. Kurt scrubs furiously at his eyes, trying to wake up. Blaine twitches beside him, his lips parted in deep sleep and his arms open, where Kurt had been nestled seconds before. His quiet, rumbling snores fill the room. He's knocked out.
It's really supposed to be Blaine's turn. But only a few hours ago, when it was Kurt's turn, they had both gone to check on her and rock her back to sleep. Kurt debates waking Blaine, but he can't do it—Blaine's always so sweet when Kurt can't wake up, and he goes to take care of Nellie himself. Kurt sighs and heaves himself out of their comfortable bed. Blaine jolts awake with a surprised gasp at the motion, his head snapping up to follow Kurt.
"…urt?" he mumbles. He's barely coherent. He turns his head in Kurt's general direction, but his eyes are still closed, like they're too heavy to open. His head falls towards his chest—he's falling back to sleep already. Kurt has to smile, soft and fond. He brushes a wild curl back from Blaine's forehead and kisses him there. Blaine murmurs something unintelligible into his touch.
"Go back to sleep, hun," Kurt whispers, massaging his scalp for a moment. "I'll be right back, after I take care of Nellie." Blaine "mmm's" in response, but Kurt thinks he's already asleep again. He kisses his husband's cheek before leaving the room, hurrying towards Nellie's room. She's crying harder than before, sobbing like she can't get enough air. Kurt darts worriedly into her nursery. It doesn't matter how many times she wakes up screaming during the night, it always makes him anxious. He knows it's normal, she's only a month old, for god's sake. But he always worries something's really wrong. Kurt peeks his head over the side of his daughter's crib. Her tiny face is pink from screaming, scrunched up and wet with tears. Kurt gasps and lurches forward to hold her, cradling her against his chest once he straightens up.
Kurt's read all the parenting books known to man (or at least it feels like it), and he knows a baby's tear ducks only fully form at about Nellie's age—but he's never seen her cry real tears before. His stomach clenches in concern—is she in pain?
"Nellie," Kurt soothes. "Nellie, it's okay." He shushes her softly, rocking her back and forth in his arms. She quiets a little and opens her eyes, peering up at him. Kurt can't help but smile at her—she's so beautiful, her eyes large and round and Blaine-hazel. "Are you hungry?" he asks quietly. Nellie's bottom lip quivers, and she reaches a one of her little hands up to Kurt's face. She bops it against his cheek before letting it fall back towards her. She starts to cry again suddenly, and Kurt's smile falls. "Nell, baby, it's okay." He checks her diaper, and it's just a little pee. He changes her, but she continues to sob.
"Shh, you'll wake Daddy," he teases, hoping to get a smile out of her. She hasn't smiled yet, but he can't wait until she does. He somehow knows that it'll be enthusiastic and bright, and it'll make her eyes sparkle and crinkle. Like Blaine's. He tiptoes into the kitchen, fishing one of her bottles out of the cabinet and filling it to the brim with formula. As soon as Kurt places it to Nellie's lips she starts to suck furiously, her big brown eyes wide and looking into Kurt's. "Easy, baby girl. It's not going anywhere," he laughs.
She pulls her mouth of the nipple of the bottle about halfway through, and Kurt's not too surprised. She just ate a little while ago. He sighs and leaves the bottle on the table—he'll take care of it tomorrow. He's too tired, and he doesn't want to put Nellie down. Kurt feels relief, knowing that Nellie must be close to sleep. He can't wait to crawl back into bed with Blaine and sleep forever. But as soon as they reach the nursery, Nellie starts to wail again.
"No," Kurt begs, feeling like crying himself. "Nellie, it's okay. It's okay. Shh, don't cry." He knows she can't understand him of course, and she shows no sign of letting up. He sighs—it's going to be a long night (or morning, now), just like it's been for the past three weeks. Kurt can't remember the last time he'd gotten a full night's sleep. He knows this phase won't last forever, but it just seems to last so damn long sometimes. He lowers himself into the rocking chair beside Nellie's crib, rocking gently back and forth. He begins to sing.
"Lullaby, and good night, you're your papa's delight, shining angels beside my darling abide. Soft and warm is your bed, close your eyes and rest your head. Soft and warm is your bed, close your eyes and rest your head." The song is choppy with Kurt's yawns, and he can't seem to really remember how the tune goes at the moment. He rocks her and rocks her, and finally she starts to quiet, until her cries are just the occasional whimper. Kurt lowers his head to watch her, smiling at the dark hair that's already forming in tuffs, and her plump, pink lips drawn in a pout. She really is the most gorgeous baby he's ever seen. In the whole world. He and Blaine are so lucky.
Kurt hadn't realized he started to doze off in the rocking chair until Blaine's voice startles him out of his daze. He doesn't even know how long Blaine's been standing in the doorway. Kurt's vision swims—Blaine looks all fuzzy. He can hear his husband's smile, but he can't see it.
"I'm sorry I didn't wake up, baby," he says. Kurt shakes his head, his eyes sliding shut again. Nellie's so warm and heavy in his arms; he's positive she's asleep now.
"S'okay. …helped me before," Kurt slurs. He jumps a little when Blaine's suddenly right beside him, lifting Nellie carefully out of his limp arms. Kurt slumps further into the chair, smiling sleepily when Blaine brushes his lips across the bridge of his nose.
"You can go back to sleep now, honey. I can put her to bed, okay?"
"Are you…you sure?" His sentence is broken by an enormous yawn, and Blaine chuckles. Kurt lifts himself out of the chair—it takes all the strength he has left. "I dunno if I can walk," he mutters seriously. Blaine laughs again, bumping their noses together affectionately. Kurt cracks open one drowsy eye to look at him.
"Go on," Blaine urges gently. "I'll be in a second." Kurt leans his lips into Blaine's kiss. He stumbles half-blind down the hall towards their bedroom, collapsing on the bed in a tangle of limbs. Kurt opens his eyes what seems like only seconds later to Blaine climbing under the covers, snuggling into the fold of his arms.
"Nellie okay?" Kurt asks wearily. He wraps his arm around Blaine's waist, tightening it and splaying his fingers across the small of Blaine's back.
"'Course," Blaine says, kissing Kurt's collarbone. "Sleep."
"'Kay," Kurt sighs. He's sure not about to refuse that.
X
The next night is an absolute nightmare. Kurt gets home from work a lot later than he usually does, since he was trying to finish one of his designs for his show next week. This week has been stressful and frustrating in itself—he's so nervous he can hardly focus on anything else. Besides Nellie, of course. He's always thinking about her, wondering if Blaine's doing okay looking after her, wondering if she misses him. He enters their apartment at ten-thirty, closing the door softly behind him. There's no need, obviously—Blaine sitting slumped on the couch, cradling a fussy Nellie to his chest. She's crying, making harsh sounds of complaint every few seconds. Blaine's eyes are bloodshot, red-rimmed, like he's been crying, too. They probably look only a little worse than Kurt's.
"Hi, honey," Kurt says. Even though he's had a long, hard day at work and wants nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep for days, he moves forward to take Nellie from Blaine arms. Blaine drops into Kurt's side once he does, and Kurt kisses the top of his head. "How was your day?"
"It was good," Blaine says quietly. "Really. She ate. And she quieted down when I read her books. She likes the TV, too." Blaine closes his eyes against Kurt's shoulder. "I'm just still tired." Kurt laughs a little.
"Me, too. Rachel told me how bad the first month is—I don't think I really believed her until you came along, Nellie." Kurt's smile was affectionate, though—how could he be annoyed with a baby? His baby? He loves her so much that he could stare at her for hours. Nellie gawks at him with wide eyes.
"She looks at you like I do," Blaine teases, just before Nellie starts to cry again. Kurt frowns, upset.
"She obviously doesn't like my face." He tries to make it come out as a joke, but Blaine can hear the insecurity under his tone. He's worried that since he works so much, Nellie won't like him. She won't think of him as her papa, at least until she's old enough to understand.
"No," he says. "She's been like this all day, baby. How could she not like your face? She's just…I don't know. She even cried when I brought out Margaret Thatcher Dog. And you know how much she loves that thing."
"Do you think she's sick or something?" Kurt wonders, trying to force down his panic. "I mean, even for a young baby, this is getting a little excessive—"
"It's normal," Blaine assures him. "Do you remember how much Gavin cried the first month? God, I could hardly stand to go over to Rachel's without loosing my mind."
"I know," Kurt says. "I know. I'm just…"
"Worried," Blaine finishes, smiling. "You're a good dad, Kurt. The best. I would be worried if you didn't worry about her."
"You can go to sleep," Kurt whispers. "I've got her." Blaine lets his eyes droop closed again, his lips twitching. He knows he won't get anything longer than a little nap, so he doesn't move from the couch. He slips into sleep, sighing happily as Kurt pulls him closer against his side.
The night is almost as bad as the first week. Nellie wakes up crying five times, and that's just even before midnight. Kurt and Blaine try reading her stories, turning on the TV, but even those only keep her quiet for a short time. When she finally, finally quiets down, Kurt tries to put her to bed, but she starts wailing whenever he tries to put her down. Kurt rubs a hand over his face, groaning. They sit with her on the couch, turning on the TV again to Forest Gump and try to watch it. They both know they aren't getting any sleep tonight. Okay, maybe a little—they take turns sleeping collapsed against each other, with the other trying (and most of the time, failing) to keep his eyes open to rock a distraught Nellie. When Blaine's holding her, he gets up and starts to pace the apartment, bouncing her gently against his chest and singing softly under his breath. Kurt watches from the couch, his eyes half closed and smiling.
At some point when they're both back on the couch and Kurt's holding Nellie again, Kurt wiggles himself away from Blaine's embrace, just slightly, so he can reach for the pile of picture books on the floor. It's one in the morning, and Kurt's pretty sure he's going to pass out if he doesn't have something in his hands to focus on, besides his daughter's warm body. Blaine makes a small, adorable sound of complaint, letting his head fall from Kurt's shoulder to his lap. Kurt thumbs absentmindedly through his curls, opening Goodnight Moon and adjusting Nellie into the crook of his right arm. Nellie peers interestedly at the pictures when Kurt opens the book.
"Sleep, Blaine," Kurt soothes, massaging Blaine's scalp with gentle fingers. He knows this always makes him melt. His husband had only fallen asleep fifteen minutes ago—Kurt's turn isn't over yet. "I'm okay. Go back to sleep, sweetie." Blaine sighs softly into the fabric of Kurt's pajama pants, nuzzling his face into them, trying to get even closer.
"I wanna listen to…to the story, too," he yawns. He struggles to sit up slightly, burrowing under Kurt's other arm so he can see the pictures. Kurt looks between Blaine and Nellie and tightens his arms around them both. Sometimes he wants to cry he's so lucky.
"Goodnight moon," Kurt reads softly. Nellie's eyes are round and gorgeous, staring up at him with wonder. "Goodnight cow jumping over the moon. Goodnight light and the red balloon." By the time Kurt's finishing with "Goodnight noises everywhere," Nellie is finally, finally asleep, her tiny eyelashes fluttering. Blaine's snoring into Kurt's stomach; Kurt can feel his comforting, warm breath beneath his shirt. Kurt doesn't want to move either of them, but he wants to lie down so badly that his legs ache. He nudges Blaine as gently as he can, his lips twitching up in a smile when Blaine grumbles and turns his head a little so he can look up at Kurt.
"My turn?" he mumbles.
"No," Kurt whispers, "She's asleep. Just scoot up a little so I can lay down, too, please?"
"Oh," Blaine breathes, scooting up immediately. He's lying across the couch, and he opens his legs so Kurt can lie between them. "This okay?"
"Perfect," Kurt says sleepily, pressing his back to Blaine's chest. He places Nellie carefully onto his chest, wrapping his arms protectively around her so she can't roll off. Logically, he knows that they should put Nellie in her crib and he and Blaine should go to bed, but he's just so warm and comfortable and all nestled up. He doesn't want to move. Blaine's hands come up to rest on his hips, caressing them with slow fingers.
"G'night, babe," Blaine sighs, half-asleep. He's already snoring when Kurt responds.
"'Night, B."
X
"You two look exhausted," Carole comments as soon as she walks through their front door. Burt and Carole have come to visit for the weekend, for no other reason other than "we miss you." But Kurt knows that Carole just wants to see Nellie again—and she probably knows that they've been having a little trouble. Though Kurt wouldn't call it trouble. Blaine shrugs at Carole's observation, smiling at her as she swoops him in for a giant hug.
"We're alright," Blaine mumbles against her shoulder. "Tired, but good." He hugs Burt next, who's just shuffled through the door with their bags, when Carole pulls away for Kurt. Burt rubs his shoulder when he leans back, giving him a big smile.
"Holding up okay, bud?"
"Yeah," Blaine grins. "We're great." Kurt rolls his eyes.
"I wouldn't say we're great," he says, but it's clear he's only joking, and Burt and Carole laugh. "But lets just say I feel really bad for Rachel. Gavin was worse."
"Where is my beautiful granddaughter?" Carole demands. Kurt chuckles.
"She's napping. She only sleeps during the day," he teases.
Carole and Burt move to dump their suitcases by the couch, but Kurt and Blaine protest immediately.
"Don't even think about it," Blaine says.
"Yeah, Mom, Dad, we're taking the couch, you guys get the bedroom—"
"Oh nonsense," Carole replies. "Your father and I can handle the couch for two nights, Kurt. You said it's pull out, right?"
"Yeah, but—"
"We'll take the couch," Burt echoes.
"We made up the bed for you!" Blaine exclaims. "We changed the sheets and everything." Burt and Carole look at each other, debating. "Kurt and I could sleep anywhere at this point." It takes another few minutes, but Kurt and Blaine manage to convince them to take the bedroom. Kurt beams triumphantly at Blaine when Burt goes to dispose of their bags.
"Ooh, she's getting so big!" Carole coos softly from down the hall. "Blaine, she looks like you, honey." Blaine's cheeks turn pink with pleasure.
Kurt tries to keep Carole from taking over the dinner preparations, but he's already working slowly, and his step-mom gets impatient. She pushes him gently into the living room where Blaine and Burt are sitting, watching the game. The scene is so familiar that Kurt can't help but smile.
"I can get this, sweetie," Carole says. "Go relax."
"Let me at least set the table," Kurt says, but Carole just pushes him towards the couch again, and he finally gives in. Who is he to turn down relaxation, anyway? He curls up next to Blaine, who seems to already be close to napping.
Nellie's quiet during dinner, staring at all of them from her bouncy seat next to Blaine's feet. The strange guests must confuse her; her eyes are twice as big as they normally are. When her lip trembles and she looks like she's about to cry, Blaine abruptly breaks off from the conversation, smiles down at her and begins to sing the first line of "Blackbird." Nellie turns her eyes on him, rapt with attention, her expression peaceful.
"She likes that one," Blaine explains when they all look at him. "She likes the Beatles and Disney songs, at least so far."
"And Tom Hanks," Kurt laughs. "Don't forget Tom—Blaine." Blaine's eyes dart to him, but Kurt gestures widely at Nellie. "Blaine, oh Blaine, she just smiled at you! You missed it! Sing it again! Wait, no, let me get the camera!"
"What?!" Blaine gasps excitedly, but Kurt's already darting from the kitchen, almost tripping over his chair in his haste. Blaine starts to sing again, keeping his voice soft and soothing, but Nellie's not smiling anymore—just watching him. Kurt returns only seconds later, clutching the video camera in his hand. Carole's beaming, just as eager as the boys, and Burt's shaking his head, laughing. Kurt drops to his knees next to Nellie's bouncy seat, and Blaine squats with him.
"Come on, Nellie," Kurt says. "Can you smile again for us? Aw, Blaine's voice is so pretty, isn't it sweetie? You love his voice don't you?" Blaine starts laughing halfway through the song, his eyes lighting up and crinkling at the corners. Nellie watches for a beat, and than stretches her lips wide, beaming right back at him. Kurt squeals so loud that Burt is sure that he shattered his eardrums. Nellie loves the attention, though. She smiles wider, looking between her two dads.
"Oh, look at her!" Carole says happily. "Burt, look!"
"I'm looking!" Burt's smiling just as hard as the rest of them.
"Nellie, smile for the camera," Kurt says, when she stops grinning. "Can you smile again for me and Daddy?"
"This is going to be documented, Nellie," Blaine says seriously. "We're going to make you watch all your baby videos, especially when you have boys over—"
"No," Kurt says quickly. "No boys. Ever." This throws Blaine into a laughing fit, and Nellie smiles again—this time she opens her mouth in a silent laugh, showing off her pink gums. Kurt's eyes are tearing up she looks so beautiful. "Look at how beautiful you are, Nell," he says softly for the camera. "Look at you."
Burt blinks hard at the emotion in his son's voice. He knows that voice, the voice of wonder for your child. Kurt never thought he would get this far, never thought he could have a family of his own, but he does. Burt watches a tear slide down Kurt's face, and he has to look away before he starts crying, too. Whatever Kurt is feeling is nothing compared to what he feels—his little boy is all grown up now. Kurt became a man when he packed up and moved to New York, hell, maybe even before that, but compared to now he could've been a little kid then. Now he has a child of his own, something so precious that it's terrifying. Carole rubs his shoulder, but she's not even attempting to hide her tears. Blaine pulls Kurt into his arms right there on the kitchen floor, but Kurt laughs shakily and tries to pull away.
"Blaine, the camera! Oh god, this is going to be embarrassing ten years from now." Blaine and his parents laugh at him, and Kurt joins in. Nellie smiles, wide and toothless. Kurt can't ever remember being so happy.
That night when Nellie cries in the early hours of the morning, Kurt stumbles out of bed to tend to her, but Carole's already in the nursery, cuddling Nellie to her chest. She shoos him out gently.
"Go back to sleep, sweetheart. I've got her." Kurt wants to protest, he does, but he's practically asleep on his feet. "You deserve a break," Carole says, and even her voice wants to make Kurt go to sleep. He nods his thanks and leaves, only to come hurrying back seconds later to give Nellie a kiss. He worries for a moment that Nellie won't like not having one of her dads there, but she seems okay. She's quieting down. Kurt thinks she likes Carole.
"Goodnight, angel," he says lovingly. He kisses Carole on the cheek too, before going back to sink into bed with Blaine, a smile curving his lips.
X
The first time Nellie sleeps through the night, Kurt wakes up anyway. He supposes his body is only used to a few hours of sleep at a time, now. He snuffles into his pillow, lifting his head just barely to blink at the bedside clock with heavy eyelids. It's three in the morning—they had put Nellie to sleep at nine. He stares at the baby monitor, but it is completely quiet, the red light blinking steadily.
Kurt panics. He knows he shouldn't, logically. This is a good thing, she's finally not waking up constantly anymore, but he still worries. He's heard the stories that he won't even let himself think right now, his heart pounding as he scrambles to untangle himself from the sheets. He winces when he knocks Blaine's arm to the side, his eyes flashing to his sleeping husband. Blaine grumbles something in his sleep, stirring a little, but he settles again a moment later. Kurt runs his fingers up Blaine's arm for a second, stroking affectionately, before practically running to Nellie's room.
She's fine, of course. Sleeping peacefully, her breathing slow and deep, her pink lips parted. Kurt exhales in relief, watching her breathe over the crib railing. He smiles at Margaret Thatcher Dog, who's nestled in the corner of the mattress near Nellie's feet. He still can't believe Blaine kept that thing all these years. Kurt runs his hand over the wood of the crib, hesitating to go back into the their room. It feels strange, that she doesn't need him tonight. Good, comforting, but still strange. Kurt leans down and presses a kiss to her forehead, before slipping quietly out of her room.
Blaine lifts his head when Kurt slips back under the covers. He seems to be a little awake at least, and he laughs when Kurt looks surprised.
"Is she okay?"
"Yeah," Kurt says, embarrassed. "I just…wanted to check on her."
"I know," Blaine says, smiling. He pulls Kurt in close to him, so that their noses brush together. He yawns widely. "You're an amazing dad, Kurt. And I know you're worried, but don't be. I can already tell you're going to always be the best dad ever." Kurt rolls his eyes a little, but he's grinning so wide his cheeks are starting to hurt.
"You're such a sap, Blaine," he says. "But I love you. And I'll be alright with second place. You obviously have first."
"Tied?" Blaine mumbles. He's closed his eyes again, his breathing evening out as Kurt wraps an arm around his hip.
"Tied," Kurt agrees, kissing his cheek. "We have nothing to worry about."
Of course, Kurt's still worried. He'll probably always be worried. He knows how big an impact he will have on Nellie's life—how much he holds her life in his hands. He just wants everything to be so perfect, even though he knows it can't be. She's only a few weeks old and he already wants to protect her from everything.
But he also knows how much they love her. Kurt feels like his heart is going to burst from his chest sometimes. It's the love he feels for Blaine, and the love Blaine feels for him, wrapped up in a tiny package of life that somehow managed to become theirs. Kurt knows how precious she is. And he knows with Blaine by his side, she will be amazing. They will protect her, and love her, so that Nellie can now how she was brought into this world. That Nellie is with them because of love, and nothing else.
Please review, lovelies! Thanks! 3
hope