Authors note : So I don't know what this episode is called because the TV thing gave me the wrong title, but it's the one where the guy from Seinfeld guest stars. This is a RyanxReid one-shot that's sort of separate from my series Breaking Walls(Go read that for info on Ryan) But yeah I own nothing except Ryan, so enjoy.
Ryan was waiting outside of the assembly hall for Reid and Rossi, a gaggle of girls formed around him, asking questions about the FBI, pretending to be interested. They couldn't fool him, he was a profile and he was fully aware that they were only speaking to him because they found him attractive, still to avoid being rude, he answered their questions.
Spencer came out of the stage door and saw Ryan, surrounded by them. A swarm of slutty bitches wanting to get some FBI ass, these girls always disappointed Reid with their sheer stupidity. "Oh well" He thought . There was nothing he could do about girls like that, but he did know how to get Ryan away from them.
He approached the group, inserting himself casually. "What did you ladies think of my jokes?" Reid interjected. Uncomfortable laughter rose from the group. "I realize that you girls think that tall red-headed and sexy is more interesting than existentialist jokes, but you have to understand that beauty isn't everything, also you can't always get what you want." He said.
"Why are you telling us this."? One girl asked
"Well, You see, here is spoken for" Reid tried to say it politely but he couldn't fight the razor sharp edge that came with it.
"What? His girlfriend isn't here is she?" Another girl asked.
"Yeah what she doesn't know wont hurt her" A girl who possibly was the dumbest and sluttiest of the group interjected
"Oh but you fail to wrap your minds around the fact that could potentially have a 'Friend' of the boy variety and said boyfriend could be none other than myself. So I suggest you control yourselves" Reid said. Oh that had felt good.
The girls stood there uncomfortably for a few moments, looking at Reid, with his arm looped sensuously around Ryan's waist. "Go on, scoot." Reid commanded. They began to awkwardly peel away from the group and leave in separate directions.
"Geez, you've gotten pretty cruel lately…I like it" Ryan put both of his arms around Spencer, pulling him into a near by alcove. From a distance, they just looked like any two guys, not FBI agents. Ryan kissed him slowly, hotly, it had been too long since the two of them had seen the bedroom together, and they were both getting desperate Being in this tight space together made it ten times more arousing.
The sound of Rossi clearing his thought brought them out of their brief fantasy.
"You know that's totally inappropriate." Rossi gently pointed out
"Yeah but it cant be worse than Reid's jokes" Ryan laughed.
"Yeah, Stanson, you're definitely in control of recruitment seminars now."
"Why does he get to do all of the recruitment seminars now? I have fun with those!" Reid whined to Rossi as they left the assembly hall.
"Because he's young, attractive and he doesn't tell physics jokes that are only funny to people like you, we want the Bureau to look like a cool place to work" Rossi explained.
"Yeah Spence, I'm hot and cooler than you." Ryan chuckled, stopping to pose and make a cocky face.
"Watch it, Stanson, We're supposed to be professional." David commanded, shooting Ryan a stern look.
As they went down the stair case, a small man with long gray hair and a white suit approached. He approached Reid . "That existentialist joke you told, before you where kicked off the stage…Wouldn't the existentialist wait in the dark for the light bulb to come back on?" He asked. He introduced himself as Professor Rothschild. Ryan rolled his eyes at the corny jokes, They continued to move down the stairs, Rothschild plodding along behind them. What happened next, was unexpected. The man opened an accordion folder to pull out pictures of seven women. He explained that all of them where his murder victims, and that he had five more and all would be dead within the next ten hours.
Reid's heart sank, David immediately filled with rage and Ryan felt suddenly heavy.
He tossed the pictures down the stair case .
He went easily, first with campus security , then into the car with Rossi driving, Reid riding shot gun and Ryan in the back seat with the short little bastard. He smelled sour, and he was covered in a thin film of sweat and oil. He made Ryan want to crawl into his shower and stay there for several days, or at the very least until he became a prune.
The fact that this guy was prodding at Reid perturbed him greatly, but Spencer handled it well, like he seemed to handle everything. He was always so calm at work.
Rothschild was picking at David now. This guy was getting under his skin, though he wouldn't let on, because that's what this guy wanted
After what had to be the longest car ride in history, the arrived at the BAU, Rothschild in hand cuffs, Being led by Ryan and Rossi (Spencer was disappointed they never let him do anything like that) To the interrogation room. Rossi shut the door behind them, leaving Ryan and Reid to watch through the two way mirror.
"Well that was weird." Ryan uttered, turning to Reid.
"Yeah, weird is a huge understatement." Reid replied, looking through the two way mirror into the interrogation room.
"Quick nobody is around" Ryan chuckled, pulling Spencer close, grabbing his chin and kissed him sweetly on the lips before Reid could even realize what was going on. He was let go as quickly as he was pulled in. Suddenly, warmth came over him and he felt as though this couldn't end as badly as he thought. " Ugh, I just want to fuck you." Reid thought, he hated those thoughts but every once in a while they slipped into his head, especially after Ryan did something like that.
They continued to listen to the conversation between Rossi and Rothschild in the interrogation room
Rothschild was asking for Reid. "Why can't I have any normal fans?" Reid sighed. "What? I'm not normal?" Ryan asked. "Really? You want to ask that?" Reid replied, he could be witty every once in a while. Ryan smiled at him briefly and continued to stare into the small room.
"How's it going in there?" Morgan said, approaching. "Well, Reid found a new member of his fan club." Ryan chuckled.
"Geez man, why are you such a weirdo magnet?" Morgan asked.
"I don't know, it must be the hair." Reid sighed, tucking a strand of it behind his ear.
"Or maybe it's the brain under the luxurious flowing locks. Smarts tend to be a creeper magnet." Derek said.
Spencer sighed.
Later, reports came in about the first death, just as Rossi was showing Reid the symbol on Rothschild's pendant. "He said nothing about killing someone every two hours." Rossi sighed.
Spencer began to analyze the pendant, suddenly it occurred to him. "This pendant represents the golden ratio" Ryan said, handing the pendant to Reid. Suddenly the idea occurred to use the Fibonacci sequence to pinpoint the locations that Rothschild's previous victims had come from, and eventually figure out where the current five where being held
Hotch ordered a chopper to come take them to the location
When the team arrived where the victims were being held they carefully unlocked the door, successfully rescuing all of them.
Rothschild was arrested with ample evidence against him, thanks to Rossi's interrogation techniques and Garcia's recording of the entire interrogation.
"Hmm, get in my bed!" Reid laughed, dragging Ryan down on top of him when they finally where allowed to go home. He felt so physically tense after the whole ordeal today that regardless of how sleepy he was, he was going to get what he wanted , and when they had arrived back at his apartment after stopping for coffee and desserts, it was just the next thing on the to-do list.
Ryan stayed awake after it was over, looking at Reid who almost never looked at peace except when he was asleep, probably because he couldn't furrow his brow or get more coffee while he was sleeping. He couldn't spew out random facts, and going by the look on his delicate features, it was safe to guess that he was dreaming about something other than losing his mind. Spencer looked his age when he slept, a mere twenty-five years old instead of like some withering person, kept alive by coffee and books . He looked like porcelain in the moonlight. Nothing could make Ryan happier, and he was completely happy to have chosen this boy out of all of the others. He protectively draped an arm over Spencer, letting his head fall near the crook of the smaller man's neck, he could smell the shampoo on Reid's hair. This was happiness, this was comfort, this was love.