A HUMANSTUCK story introducing a brand new character. Homestuck and it's characters belong to the wondrously evil miracle by the name of ANDREW HUSSIE, but Skunky and these humanstuck counterparts are all mine.

You are KANEIS MAKARA, but your friends call you SKUNKY. Today is your 18th birthday, not that it matters to you. You've been living the last few years with your younger brother GAMZEE in your BACHELOR PAD, ever since you got out of PRISON for an INCIDENT regarding a SQUIRREL FIGHTING ring and a DRAGON, resulting in 18 HOMICIDES. But more on that later. Your primary interests include LIGHTHEARTED TABLETOP ROLEPLAYING, recreational use of THE HERB, and playing BASS. Your chumhandle is D20annihilator, 16 and you talk in a fashion that is ruled by chance.

You get out of bed and walk over to the window. Its cold as a motherfucker out there, but your not worried about it. Your pretty comfortable in any situation. You pull on an oversized SRH T-SHIRT and a pair of blue and green plaid pajama pants. You are not nearly stoned enough to head downstairs, so you search your CROWN ROYAL BAG SYLLADEX for your HERB. Your CROWN ROYAL BAG SYLLADEX works off of a search check, which you almost always succeed on. Next, you equip a BONG from your STRIFE DECK, LOAD A BOWL, and TOKE. That feels better... much better. You feel a dopey smile spread across your face, and wonder what your brother is doing.

You find GAMZEE in the living room listening to ICP and drinking a WICKED MIRACLE ELIXIR, Faygo. He appears to have just woken up, as his clown makeup is still smeared. He apparently started his day early, but that's alright. You tell your bro good-morning and ask him if he remembered to take his meds, remembering that he suffers from the same condition you do. That reminds you, you should take your... whoa. That HERB just kicked in, hard. You suffer a HEADRUSH, and crash onto the couch next to your bro.

You awake to your brother leaning over you, moments later. "you OK, Skunky?" he asks, and offers you a fresh orange Faygo. You take a swig before answering; Your brother may be a little off, but you have to agree with him here, Faygo is a fucking mIrAcLe. " Yeah I'm alright. Got any smoke left? I'm all out."

"Is my name Gamzee? Big brother, you know I got your motherfucking ass covered. Here, take this motherfucking miracle and get your happy all on and shit. Honk." He hands you a DIMESAC and you captchalogue it. Next stop, bathroom.

After a quick shower, you redress in the same clothing u were wearing before and get lost in a narcissistic daze as u look at yourself in the MIRROR. This happens every time you see yourself in a MIRROR while under the influence of the HERB. You inspect your shaggy hair, with its slightly longer middle stripe of bleached white hair. This is how you gained the nickname SKUNKY. What, did you think it was because of your recreational use of HERB? That's pretty funny, and might even be true... you do almost always smell of HERB. You shave and grab a hoodie, put on some shoes, and head up the street to the convenience store for more Faygo. You feel very mellow and the icy breeze feels good on your flushed cheeks.

When you get back to your house Gamzees boyfriend, TAVROS, is there with him. You drop the Faygo into the ice chest next to the couch and head upstairs. You don't really have a problem with your brothers sexuality, its just that Tavros is really shy and sketchy and you know he will appreciate the gesture.

You check out your Pesterchum to see if anyone has messaged you, knowing with the absolute positivity that only a lonely stoner can have that nobody has. Sure enough, you were correct. You used to hang out with Gamzees friends a lot, in fact, you introduced him to a few of them... That was before you went to PRISON. You were 14 when you got caught up with "a bad group of people"(according to your parole officer) and ended up right in the middle of a SQUIRREL FIGHTING RING. It was bad. Incredibly inhumane. Ever since they banned dog and cock fighting, people would do anything to see some animals hurt each other. Even squirrels. And you and your brother needed the money, so you did what you had to. Then the DRAGON attacked, and that's when you knew you weren't getting out of that situation freely. Up in Wisconsin, those flying fire-breathing beasts are still around, as a very controlled endangered species. But occasionally one breaks out of captivity, and when that happens, someone has to put it down. This time, that someone was you. Too bad it burst in right in the middle of a fight that would've netted you 4000 BOONDOLLARS. The ensuing fight between you and the dragon left 18 people dead by your hand, and countless more by the dragon. But since you were so young and did so well against the dragon with your GREATSWORD, the SYSTEM let you out of prison after just two years. You may very well have gotten out of there after three months, if you had been able to remember what happened. Sadly, you and Gamzee suffered from the same CONDITION in which you lack out when you get angry, and are highly likely to MURDER. And the PRISON PSICHIATRIST discovered that about you and decided it would be best for you to stay there for awhile just to be sure. Those two years were the hardest of your entire life, as they were the only time since you were eight that you'd gone without THE HERB. But somehow, you managed to exist in that environment, sober, without incident. And the day you got home to your BACHELOR PAD, you smoked more HERB than you ever had before.

But your friends wouldn't associate with you anymore, at least, not often. They were scared of you. And Gamzees INCIDENT shortly after you got back did not do anything to help. But at least most of them would still talk to him. Only NEPETA and KARKAT still talk to you, and Karkat is a complete asshole. At least Nepeta will RP with you. You decide to message her. You retrieve three of your D20s from your sylladex, one red, one clear, and one green. These are your three favorites. You then send NEPETA a pester.

D20annihilator [DA] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

DA: 12 *sniffs acs ear modestly * are you busy this morning kitty cat?

AC: :33 good meowning skunky! *nuzzles da and paps his nose with a paw * Im not busy at all. Why? Are you planning something spurrcial? :33

DA: 8 not really. Was just sitting around the house all lonely like and thought of you. Tav is here with Gamzee. Wanna chill together?

AC: :33 sounds purrfect! :33

AC: :33 *stretches and purrs * should I come over there?

DA: 16 no thats okay, I wanted to get out of the house anyway, give the boys some privacy. Would you mind if I came over there?

AC: :33 you are always welcome ofur here, skunky! :33

DA: CRIT! ok ill be over soon.

D20annihilator [DA] ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

You captchalogue your D20s and open a fresh Rock and Rye Faygo, taking a huge gulp as you captchalogue your HUSKTOP and head downstairs. You ask Gamzee if you can borrow his truck.

"Of course, motherfucker. Me and Tavbro here are just gonna fucking chill the fuck out here for awhile anyways. I might bake a motherfucking miracle pie in a little while. Want me to save you a piece?" replies your little brother, handing you the keys to his rusted out indigo 80's model silverado.

"Nah man, you and Tav eat that thing. Your pies are always way too sweet for me. Have fun, I'll be at Nepetas if you need anything. Ive got my phone man. Peace."

You wave goodbye to Gamzee and Tavros as you head out the door. You could have just taken your WHITE NISSAN truck instead of your brothers, but you like driving his because it has a KILLER SOUNDSYSTEM. You get in the truck and start it up, and get startled by the obnoxiously LOUD JUGGALO RAP blaring out of the speakers. You plug your IPOD into the stereo and turn on some NIRVANA, feeling in the mood for grunge rather than rap today. You roll an HERB CIGARETTE, light it, and drive off in the direction of Nepetas house.