I wanted to make a Finn one shot in memory of Cory Monteith. It's been almost a year and I don't think it has stopped hurting. When they mention him in episodes, I'll admit I still cry. This one's for Cory, Rest in Paradise. We love and miss you so much! Forever in our hearts.
~~In Loving Memory Cory Monteith May 11, 1982-July 13, 2013~~
I walk down the halls of William McKinley High School. I stare at each face as I pass by. Nobody notices me, but I notice all of them. They don't seem all happy and lively today, they seem sad. I see Rachel, and wonder why she's back in Lima. She was supposed to be in New York. Rachel is sad too, and I can't quite wrap my head around what's happening. I walk up to Rachel and she stares down the hall, not noticing me.
"Rachel?" I call out. Rachel walks down the hall towards my old locker, but doesn't say a word. Tears cascade her face and I follow her.
That's when I notice the flowers, teddy bears, candles and notes on the locker.
"What the hell is this? A sick joke?" I yell, nobody seems to hear me.
I begin to grow frustrated and punch the locker. Instead of hot flesh meeting the cold hard metal, my hand simply goes straight through the metal. I pull my hand back and stare at it in disbelief. This must be a dream. It has to be a dream, this isn't real. There's no possible way for any living human being to be able to do that. Rachel falls to the ground and the sound of her sobbing causes students to look over at her. I want to comfort her or wake up, but I can't do either. I begin to panic. I don't understand what could be happening.
"Finn" Rachel whispers in between sobs. My heart breaks a little and I try to touch her, but my hand disappears into her body. She shivers and looks up in disbelief.
"Finn, I love you so much. I want you to come back. You should be here, not laying in some morgue waiting for your own funeral. You're too young to be gone. I was supposed to walk through those choir room doors and say 'I'm home' not go to your funeral and say goodbye. Finn... I miss you so much already." Rachel mumbles.
Her eyes are closed and her hands brought together and I know she isn't saying these things. She's praying. I reach out to touch her again, hoping that the shiver she had earlier was a cause of me touching her. I need Rachel to know that I am here. My hand meets Rachel's shoulder and she shivers again. Rachel can feel me! I know she can! I guess I really am dead, but how could I be dead? This isn't how I wanted my life to be. My mom, oh god, my mom. I hope she's okay; she lost my father and now me. She has Burt to help her through it, and Kurt too. They will help her, I know they will. I begin to wonder why there is no heaven, no pearly white gates, and no man waiting to greet me into this new life.
"Rachel, I know you can't hear me. I just want you to know that I am safe and here. Can't you tell? I wouldn't abandon you, the glee club, my mom, or anyone. I couldn't leave you all behind. I am here and I'm going to be with you guys through everything." I know she can't hear me, but in her heart she knows these things. I just needed to make sure I told her. I never got to say goodbye to anyone. Honestly, I think if I did, then this whole dead thing would be a whole lot easier.
Rachel stands as Puck, Santana, Mercedes, Brittany, Kurt, Mike and the rest of my glee family joined by my real family approach her. They all hug and many tears are shed. Even from Santana, who basically made it her life goal to torture me. I don't hate her for it; I somehow have no need for anger anymore. What's the point of being angry if you know that it's not going to make you any happier to feel that way? I think people are right when they say that when you die, you are finally at peace. Mr. Schue approaches everyone and more tears fall. I can't help but smile. This tragedy managed to bring them all together for at least one day.
"I think we all should go to the auditorium and sit in a circle and just say some nice things about Finn. Maybe it'll make us feel better." Artie offers. It's something I would've done if I was there and someone else was here.
"Finn would've really liked that idea." Tina agrees, wiping her eyes with a tissue. I do like the idea. I wish people wouldn't talk like I'm not here. I am, but I guess they don't know that.
Everybody sits around in a circle in the auditorium and I sit in the middle. I need to hear what everyone wants to say but maybe never had the chance or never thought to say them before. I smile and everyone else smiles at each other.
"Finn, I know you're up there. You better be jamming with Whitney and Michael Jackson." Mercedes blurts out, looking to the ceiling. I laugh and it feels like the best thing in the world.
"Who wants to go first?" Mr. Schue asks. To my surprise, Santana is the first one up. I begin to wonder if she'll be rude or actually sincere.
"I'd like to, I have some things that need to be said." Santana tells the circle. They nod and Santana stands up and begins to pace.
"Finn was always someone I targeted when I didn't like myself. I thought if I hurt him or Berry, then I would feel better. I did, but now that I've had time to live and have my own hard times. I realize Finn didn't deserve that. He was an amazing guy with a big heart. I never thought I would actually like this guy, and I never had a chance to tell him that I never hated him. I am also really glad that he pushed me out of the closet or I would still be in Narnia. Finn never let anyone forget their worth. I was a bitch to him, but when I was down he still came and told me that I was worth it and that I was Santana Lopez from Lima Heights. Finn had this way of being nice to everyone, even when they were never nice to him. He was a great role model and a fearless leader. I kind of wish he was still here to make little Frankenteen Broadway babies with Rachel." Everyone laughs and wipes their tears away. Even I do, which is a surprise seeing as I didn't think I could cry anymore.
Rachel smiles and walks over to Santana. They hug and I realize that my death brought these two girls together. All the new glee club members take their turns and even some more of my friends. Everyone laughs and cries and they begin to feel a little better knowing they all have each other. Then it comes time for my mom. She looks so broken, I just want to hug her and tell her I'm still here.
"You all made Finn's life full of purpose. He wouldn't want you all to be sad, he'd want you all to keep going and win Nationals," She gestures to the existing glee club members, "Or make it big on Broadway." Mom nods towards Rachel. "Or just make your dreams come true. Finn cared about you all, and although he never got to say goodbye, he will always be in your hearts. No parent should outlive their child. It's the worst thing in the world. The past few days I have wondered 'How do I be a parent, when I don't have anyone to be a parent for?' then I realized. I will always be a parent even if my child isn't here. I will be a parent to my step son Kurt. I will be a parent to the glee club and I will always be Rachel's mother in law even though the wedding never happened. Finn may not be with you all physically, but a piece of him inside all of us. He has touched every single one of your guys' lives." Mom cries throughout her entire say, but never takes a break. I loved that about my mom, she never wanted to stray away from the main point. Everyone in the auditorium applauds and I hug my mother. She stops suddenly and looks around.
"Finn?" I hug her again and she shivers. I smile, happy that I have a way of communicating with my family and friends. Mom bursts into tears and everyone hugs her and tries to calm her down.
When everyone finishes saying things, they decide to go to Breadstix. Mom and Rachel decide to carpool together, and I go along.
"Did you feel random bursts of cold before you called out Finn's name?" Rachel asks curiously. My mother looks at her in shock.
"How did you….?" Mom starts. Rachel begins to cry.
"I felt them by his old locker when I was crying… do you think its coincidence or is he still with us?" Rachel sputters out. My heart breaks a little. Nobody knows how much I wish I was alive right now.
"I think he's with us Hun. He loved you and he probably still does. Finn and you were soul mates, but don't let the fact he died keep you from anything. You better keep your head up and keep living your life. You get on Broadway, you get a new man, and you do what you have to do because that's what Finn would want. He would want you to not sit around and mope all day every day when you have such great potential." Mom tells Rachel. They hug and Mom starts the car.
"Thanks Carole. He always believed in me and said I was his star. He's forever in our hearts." Rachel says. I put my arms around them both and they both shiver. I smile because they will always know that no matter what happens, I am right here beside them.
Hope you guys enjoyed it. I enjoyed writing it. Review!