Depth over distance was all I asked of you
And everybody round here's acting like a stone
Still there's things I'd do, darling, I'd go blind for you
If you let grow sometimes, let it grow sometimes, let it grow
Just let it grow sometimes
- Depth Over Distance - Ben Howard
His eyes where staring her down, a cold carpet of emotions behind them watching her thinking over what to say next to what he had said to her.
He was angry for the most part, angry that she was playing such a idiotic game with him, that she was clearly denying her feelings for him. They had been together more times then he could count, they had shared dinners, each other´s beds, conversations over meaningless things like what cures hang overs, gone to night clubs, which neither of them enjoyed much, except for that it served alcohol.
They shared many more things in common then he´d had with any other woman in his life, she was the first one to get him to open up a lot about his childhood and he´d gotten through the tough shell that was Lisa. He´d learned how quietly she hid things that hurt her, like she was doing now, trying to cover the truth up with more bullshit about her being confused. It tired him, it wasnt like he was seeing anyone else other then her. They had started off as a wanky one night stand then just continued like that, now she was making the past six months seem like just that, a long one night stand.
-"You scared that´s what this is?" he asked glancing over at her from where she was standing, coming closer so she was pinned up against dresser. They where close to going to bed when he´d asked what they actually where. She´d answered that they where having a good time.
Her eyes couldnt meet his, just focused on the chains around his neck that where slipping in and out of his wife beater as he moved both hands to grab each side of her thighs, lifting her easily up on the hard wooden dresser.
-"Look at me" he commanded feeling out her cheek with his nose, letting her scent fill his senses, she was warm under his hands, the press of his body between her thighs made it impossible for her to move, he´d cornered her and he knew it made her nervous, she was already trying to figure ways out of this. He could practically hear her thinking of them.
-"If you dont wanna be with me..." Tommy drew a breath before continuing, this wasnt what he wanted, he wanted to take her clothes off, he wanted to fuck her so badly, to be close to her, he didnt want this night to end with him sounding like some pussy asking for conformetion.
That was the problem, it grew over time, he thought he could see over it, but he liked Lisa, he liked being close to her, not just fucking her, he enjoyed spending time with her. Shaking his head on her shoulder, pressing his forehead against the soft bow of it moving his lips to touch her neck, a small hitch was caught in her throat when he kissed her.
She clung to his sides, trying to get his pants off, it was all the conformation he needed, but it wasnt enough, he wanted more, he wanted to hear her say the words.
Grabbing her by her wrists and pinning them over her head then looking at her sharply, licking his lips -"Do you want me?"
She searched for something in his eyes, a sense of sanity, Lisa knew she couldnt keep this up forever, they couldnt fuck and be friends until their late 30´s, they had to either be something or nothing. Still she searched, anything she could cling to, a way she could flirt her way out of this or laugh her way through it, but he didnt give her a break, instead he just held her hands pinned hard up abover her head agaisnt the paper thin wall of her apartment.
The pause was too long and she lost his gaze, he backed off, moving away from her like that was the conformation he needed, but it wasnt what she needed, grabbing the side of his wife beater she pulled at it, begging him to stop, -"Tommy"
-"No" he pushed her wrist down getting his jacket off her bed, ready to leave.
-"Please stay, I need you to stay" her voice was tender, he hadnt heard her like this before, she was showing weakness, his eyes glanced over his shoulder catching her crossing her arms and looking uncomfortable with him seeing her.
-"What happens if I stay? We fuck and I leave, I dont wanna do that"
-"You could stay, sleep here, we´ve done that before after sex"
-"Only drunk"
-"We could get drunk"
She saw the frustration in his eyes, the way he shook his head so lazily and kept heading for the door. -"We dont have to be drunk, we could just sleep"
-"You dont understand" he hissed, turning to face her, she´d never seen Tommy angry at her before, she´d seen him rip Paddy a new one with harsh words, even the people in the ring didnt get the worst of words from him, he was quiet like a storm, you didnt know the damage was done until you where face down bleeding. That was Tommy Conlon.
-"I cant stay here and pretend this is okay, because its fucking not, Lisa, I cant stay here, I just fucking cant"
She looked away, not needing anymore conformation from him on what was going on, she didnt want to hear it, wanted him to just walk out now, to go away, but he didnt instead he stood there, threw his jacket down on the floor.
-"I love you, I fucking love you and I cant stay here and fuck you and leave when all I really want to do is just hold you and bury myself into you and stay there forever. I know you dont love me back"
The words cut him to say, he´d expected at least a bit of denial from her side, she had nothing more to say about what he´d said about her not loving him. Still he didnt want to leave, he´d said it now, he´d said that he loved her and now he wanted to hear it from her. He needed to hear it.
-"I love you" he repeated coming closer, she stood there, meeting his eyes, they where kind and looking like he was trying to have all the understanding in the world over why she couldnt love him back.
Her fingers laced in the fabric of his wife beater and her lips found his, kissing him hard, moving her tongue gently across his bottom lip asking for premission to enter his mouth and willingly he let her in. It made it sound like a goddamn metaphore for what was happening between them, him giving into her.
This five foot nine MMA fighter that had put one of the strongest men in the world into the ground was at her mercy, under her fingertips, tugging at her clothes to get them off, mumbling to her that she should get on the bed.
It overtook her how powerfully Tommy was smitten by her, he stared down at her face when his weight was pressed down on top of her body, just looking at her, brushing his thumb up over her cheek then down her neck, like he was making a map of the places he´d explore with his mouth.
Lisa let him, she always gave into his hands, they where rough, but gentle, unbottoning her shirt, her jeans, pulling the clothes off her, then her panties and her bra. He brushed his mouth over the swell of her breasts, swallowing one of her nipples into his mouth and sucking, flickering his tongue over the hardend flesh. She moaned in his response, moving her hands up into his hair and angeling her head to the side to watch his mouth, the full set of lips he had knocked her off her feet the first time she kissed him, they where big for a man his size, perfect for kissing.
Dragging at his wife beater she got it off when his head moved away from her body, ruffling into his dogtags making them cling as they hit the fabric, she threw the top down to the side of the bed, then worked at his pants, hooking her legs over his torso to keep him steady. His mouth didnt move from her nipples or her neck, sucking and biting as she kicked his pants off along with his boxers.
He was already half hard when she took him in her hand, stroking him and moving her hand up and down his back, she knew how he liked to be touched, how it was so simple to make him breathe a bit faster or utter foul words.
-"Lisa" the breath in his throat hitched as he pressed his forehead against her chest, mouth open, lips bruised from touching her skin, she stroked him slowly then picked up the pace, feeling his back tensing up under her hand.
-"Stop, stop, stop" he mused pushing her hand away and catching his breath, he was so close, she could have easily had him cum all over her then and there.
Kissing her chest once then moving his hand over the inside of her thighs to pry her open a bit more, slipping between her slit, she was wet, the slickness making his dick move easier up and down her folds. Arching her hips up against him, Tommy moved slowly into her, the suspense of the situation, it all being so quiet and so intimit made it harder for Lisa to keep her act together, he´d never been like this before. A weak whimper dragged from her lips only to be stilled by his own, moving gently on top of hers, his hands clasping around the side of her butt cheeks making her bottom half literally arch up in a arch on his lap as he moved faster.
She hugged onto his shoulders, buried her head into his neck, breathing harder, whimpering at the speed of his hips, hearing the smacking of skin and the weak grunts he´d express the faster he moved. Then the sudden release, it was just as quick as them fucking, a tightining at the bottom pit of her stomach, making her heels dig into the bed, her legs squeeze around him and her clutch onto him for dear life as she shook.
-"Ah" was all she managed to make into his ear, feeling him pulling out of her fast, pinning her hips down, arched over her as he breathed faster over her and a warmth spread between her thighs.
-"We..." he breathed, catching his breath by swallowing, his throat dry. -"We forgot to use a condom"
She lazily nodded her head looking at the side of her bed at the watch, it was three am, she looked back at Tommy who was looking between her legs at the mess he had made, -"Sorry" he supported himself with both hands on each side of her body, fingers moving over her thighs gently as he got up sitting on his knees.
-"It´s okay"
Lisa stood up from the bed feeling the cold of the room rushing over her skin, it was nothing like how having Tommy over her felt, he was always so warm, comfortable and inviting.
Turning on the lights to the bathroom she turned on the shower, stepped inside and rinsed her legs off, her cunt, hearing a shuffle of clothing in the other room, he was getting dressed.
Quickly turning off the shower she stepped back out again, not giving a fuck about a towl or the fact that she was half wet, all she cared about was actually seeing if he was leaving and he was, he was half way done with making up his pants when she got into the room.
-"What are you doing?"
-"I´m going home"
-"Are you serious?" her eyes where widened, -"After what you told me you are just leaving"
-"I told you what I felt, I´m not sticking around to be used as a comforting penis for whenever you have an itch you cant scratch alone"
She hissed angrily, -"You fucking idiot, we just fucked on this bed and you confessed that you loved me before that, now you´re leaving? What are you twelve, get over yourself I cant fucking grow emotions over night, you dont know my past"
-"Your past has nothing to do with me, if you cant love me after all of this time, then I´m the fool"
-"Oh that´s what this is about, you cant handle rejection" she shook her head walking over to him, grabbing the end of his belt and undoing his pants.
-"I want you!"
Her words clinged in his ears as he watched her pull his pants and boxers down, -"I want you, Tommy, I want you to stay in my bed, I want you to be with me, I just need some more time to sort things out up here" tapping at the temple of her head.
-"Can you accept that I´m not going anywhere and if I am I´m taking you and your comfortable penis with me"
He stepped out of his pants and boxers kissing her soundly again, hugging her when they stopped, holding her in his arms, she rested against his chest and he could feel her hands gripping at his back, she was being serious and it made him smile like a child, she was his after all.