Hey Everyone.
So this is my first fic. Had to go back and work out some of the editing kinks, and then decided that the story really needed some re-writing, so i can't say it's my best work in terms of technique, but it's better than it was.
This was just an idea i had one night whilst contemplating the intriguing relationship that Achele might be. Plus i was feeling a little angsty at the time. Catharsis never hurt anybody, right?
Anyway, hope you enjoy!
Dianna awoke to the sound of her bedroom door clicking shut and feet lightly padding across the floor to her bed. She was curled onto her left side at the edge of the bed, listening, but not acknowledging the other person in the room or making it known that she was awake, staying still as the covers were pulled back. It didn't matter though, anyone who knew her well enough to be getting into bed with her could already tell she was awake. This person especially.
The mattress under her hip shifted as Lea silently lay down next to her. There was quiet for a moment before Dianna rolled over so that she was lying on her back. She moved her right hand between them and let it lay on the mattress, then slowly slid it further until she found Lea's soft fingers and squeezed as she spoke into the silence
"I missed you." She saw chocolate eyes close in a prayer for patience out of the corner of her eye, and cringed at what she knew was coming.
"Dianna," Lea scolded gently as she squeezed the hand in hers, "you know you can't say that to me. How the hell am i supposed to stop myself from acting on my feelings if you talk like that?" Dianna sighed and decided not to give an answer, even though the brunette was already in her bed and seemed to be resisting fairly well.
"Fine. Hello Lea, how was your week?" She asked stiffly.
"It was very enjoyable thank you Dianna. I really have missed New York, so it was great to be there, although I'm glad to be home." Her tone was courteous at best, although some tenderness was conveyed in her last statement, which was accompanied by another squeeze. "How about you?"
"Terrible." was the only reply the brunette was given. Realizing she wasn't going to get anything else without some encouragement, she enquired further.
"I'm sorry to hear that Dianna. What happened to make it terrible?"
"The woman I'm in love with went to New York for a week and I missed her so bad."
Lea rolled her eyes up toward the headboard and sighed as she let them close. They remained in silence for a few moments before she spoke again, more softly than before. She was admitting defeat for the night, allowing herself to be weak for just a moment, to show the blond that she was in pain too, that they were at least together in that.
"Dianna, have you been sleeping in my bed again?" She was met with silence, which was as incriminating as a direct admission. "Oh sweetheart. You have to stop." she implored. She felt the woman stiffen next to her.
"Why should I?" Dianna asked sharply, glaring at the ceiling. She wanted to unlink their hands and cross them over her chest in defiance, but she was damned if she was going to give up what was probably the closest thing either woman would get to being intimate in the foreseeable future for a hissy fit. She exhaled hard because she got no answer to her question, and so carried on more calmly. "I can't sleep unless I know you're in the apartment. You weren't here so sleeping in your bed was the next best option. I can smell you on the pillows. It calms me down." Lea bit her lip in an effort to stop a whimper from escaping her mouth.
"But then when I get home the pillows that smelled like me smell like you! And they drive me insane until I have to come into your room, which I have been explicitly told by various people not to do, and look at you until I can fall asleep. It's like leaving a note on an alcoholic's pillow saying there's a six-pack in here. It's mean." Again she was received with silence. She pouted, trying to break some of the tension, speaking in a childish voice. "You could at least change the sheets before I get back." The quietest voice Lea had ever heard sighed from the blonde's lips. "But then you wouldn't come in here dumbass."
Lea realized then that there was something off about the way the blonde spoke, and looked, for the first time that evening, over at the woman she loved more than anyone else she had ever encountered. Dianna's chest was convulsing with silent sobs. Dismissing the instant terror that hit her every time something like this happened, the brunette reached across Dianna's stomach and grabbed just under her left hip, rolling her while she did the same, so they were facing each other. Dianna's eyes were freshly red and brimming with tears.
"It just hurts so much baby." She sobbed. Lea's heart wrenched in her chest as tears angrily splashed down her own cheeks from seeing the woman she loved in so much pain. Dianna's hands slid around Lea's waist as the brunette pulled them together, her arms around the blonde's shoulders. They shook and sobbed into each other's bodies, resting brow against brow.
"I know baby, I know. I feel like I'm dying every time I walk past your door to go to bed. Every time I leave for a week and I can't call you because someone is always fucking stalking me and would hear me. Every time I can't pull a Tom Cruise over you in every interview I do. I want to run up to the roof of this building right now and scream I, LEA MICHELE LOVE DIANNA AGRON over and over until I lose my voice and can't sing any more and they fire me and we can be together publicly without the possibility that other people will lose their jobs because of us."
Dianna giggled quietly through her tears at this, breathing heavily onto Lea's lips. The singer concentrated hard on making sure they didn't fall into a desperate kiss, because she knew if they got that far they wouldn't be able to stop themselves until it was too late. Dianna knew exactly what was happening and continued to chuckle until the laughs dissolved into sobs harder than before, and she buried her face into the chocolate hair resting on Lea's neck. All the brunette could do was squeeze tighter and sing softly into Dianna's ear as her own tears streamed silently down her cheek.
"I took my lucky break and I broke it in two,
Put on my worried shoes,
My worried shoes,
And my shoes took me so many miles and they never wore out,
My worried shoes,
My worried shoes,
oo My worried shoes,
I made a mistake and I never forgot,
I tied knots in the laces ofMy worried shoes,
And with every step that I'd take I'd remember my mistake,
As I marched further and further away,
In my worried shoes,
oo My worried shoes,
And my shoes took me down a crooked path,
Away from all welcome mats,
My worried shoes,
And then one day I looked around and I found the sun shining down,
And I took off my worried shoes,
And the feet broke freeI didn't need to wear,
Then I knew the difference between worrying and caring,
'Cause I've got a lot of walking to do,
And I don't want to wear,
My worried shoes."
By the time she had stopped singing, Dianna had calmed and was exhaling exhaustedly into Lea's neck, still trembling slightly. Inhaling the scent of the blonde hair deeply, Lea looked upwards, trying to stem the flow of tears down her face. Steadying herself so that her voice wouldn't break, she whispered "I would tell them, you know. If you wanted me to I would tell Ryan and the producers and PR to fuck themselves, and I would drive you to Vermont and marry you." All Dianna did in reply was squeeze so tight that it almost hurt, as if she was trying to squeeze them into one person, but Lea didn't stop her; the pain just proved that, even for a moment, they were together. The minutes of silence passed until Dianna loosened her grip and spoke.
"I want you to-" the blonde began shakily.
"I know how this ends." Lea sing-songed sadly. Dianna sighed.
"-But we can't. We can't risk destroying so many lives for something so selfish. If your reputation is destroyed, so is the show's and that means that the cast, crew, everyone, will be fired. I won't do it to you and I can't do it to them." she finished. The brunette sighed, and risked pressing a kiss to the blonde's temple before rolling slowly onto her back. Dianna retracted her arms from around Lea's waist to grab her hand again, but Lea made sure she was still keeping her eyes locked with the hazel to her left. "I know. You're right. I just wish you weren't." There was quite for a moment.
"You know," Lea whispered as they both drifted towards sleep "sometimes I dream that I get fired. Never in my life did I think I would want to be fired from a contract on my dream TV show."
"I'm sorry. I ruined it for you sweetheart." whispered the blond, sniffing.
"What are you talking about? I found something better, so much better that I wanna smack myself in the face for being so stupid and thinking that anything could be more important" Lea laughed, throwing the slightest hint of a smile towards her angel.
They were content to lie quietly for a time until Dianna could hear the snuffley breathing of Lea fast approaching sleep. "Lee" she whispered, nudging the woman next to her "you should go to your own bed. Malcolm is coming over here at some mysteriously undisclosed time tomorrow and he has a key to let himself in with. I swear he's trying to catch us out." she grumbled.
"He is" mumbled Lea sleepily, rubbing her nose with her spare hand, keeping her eyes closed. "Amanda got drunk when we were out in New York one night and told me that Ryan has had everyone keeping an eye on us since September."
Dianna grumbled "Asshole" without opening her eyes. Lea blindly nodded her agreement, mumbled "Asshole" matter-of-factly, and continued:
"So that's why I put the chain on the door after I got back. See him get in now." She let out an evil little low chuckle and Dianna's mouth curled into an impish smile. She looked over to watch Lea drift peacefully into her perfect sleep.
Before her brain had the time to process what she was doing and stop herself, she leaned forwards and captured the brunette's lips in a searing kiss that was over so fast that Lea would have thought it was a dream, if it wasn't for the fact that she was now so awake that she may as well have been hit with a lightning bolt. Her skin tingled as Dianna whispered "One day Lee. I love you" right into her ear before rolling onto her side.
They had only kissed two times before, once drunkenly in a bathroom at a network party, and once after Ryan had called them into his office to tell them that if he caught wind of anything going on between them, he would make sure they never worked anywhere again, prompted by the fact that they had been seen the first time by someone, who had gone running to Ryan within seconds. Ryan had called them in the next morning, before they had even talked to each other about it.
After they left his office, they had returned to their apartment and had spent the entire day on the couch talking about how they felt about each other. In the evening twilight, the joy of the realisation that they both felt intensely attracted to one another was short-lived, crushed by the remembrance that they had been torn apart before they even had a chance to be together. They had shared a single, sweet, powerful kiss then, tainted with the bittersweet flavour of goodbye, but afterward they had given promises of honesty and faithfulness in spite of the circumstances.
As far as kisses went, there was no doubt in either of their minds that the third time was the charm was the best. It was sweet, it was spontaneous (it was sober) and it was filled with promise of a future that was distant, but getting closer. Lea was left smiling, open mouthed and incredulous, before rolling over to face the same way, and resting her forehead in between Dianna's shoulder blades, keeping her hands to herself so as not to be tempted. The last thing Dianna heard was a muffled "I love you angel" that vibrated across her spine and filled her heart with warmth.