Dean woke up that morning with a terrible headache. He felt like he had a hangover, although he didn't remember drinking the night before. He didn't remember anything from the night before, and when he tried to think about it, his head hurt even worse. He took a few aspirin, and got ready for work. When he got outside, he felt like something else was missing, but he couldn't pinpoint what it was exactly. He got inside his '67 Chevy Impala, and it felt different. It felt empty, somehow. He couldn't understand why. Lisa and his brother Sam were the only two people who had ever been in that car, and Lisa had left him years ago. He started on his way to work, but this time, instead of getting off the highway, he kept going. He had no idea why, he wasn't impulsive and he had a job to do, but he did it anyways and he didn't turn around.
When he got there, he knew exactly what he was looking for. There was a Biggerson's there. He still wasn't completely sure why it had to be in Pontiac, there was a Biggerson's right down the road from his house. He was also missing work, and he needed to be there. He was a CEO, after all. He called his receptionist and told her he was sick, and wasn't going to show up today. He expected her to be surprised, as he hadn't missed a day in years. Not that he could remember, anyways. She just said that was fine and that she had already rescheduled all of his meetings anyways. He was about to ask her why the hell she had done that if she had no idea whether he would be there or not, but something caught his eye. One of the waiters caught his eye.
"Sharon, that's fine. I have to go. See you on Monday."
The waiter looked up from the coffee he was pouring to catch Dean staring at him. Dean quickly looked away, he was sure he had creeped him out or something. Besides, he wasn't gay. This man just happened to be very handsome. He picked up the menu on his table and stared blankly at it, he knew what he wanted, he just didn't want the waiter to come over just yet.
"Can I get you something, sir?"
Dean looked up and found himself looking into the brightest, bluest eyes he had ever seen. The man had on the usual Biggerson's uniform, red shirt and khaki pants, and his name tag simply said 'Cas'.
"Um, yeah. Can I just get the um... Sidewinder soup and salad, and a coffee? Please?"
"Yes sir, I'll be right back."
Dean looked back at his menu, he didn't usually get that. He usually got the TDK Slammer. He figured he'd go ahead and take it anyways, since he'd ordered it. Cas came back with his coffee, and Dean thought for a second before saying, "Cas? That's an odd name."
"Yes, it's short for Castiel. My dad was kind of a big bible thumper. Gabriel, Michael, me."
Well you do look like an angel, Dean thought to himself. He was surprised at himself, he got enamoured by women pretty quickly, but it had never happened with men before. He didn't like it.
"What did your mom have to say about that?"
"Oh I wouldn't know, I never met her. She died when I was a baby."
"Oh, well I'm sorry to hear that."
Cas shrugged and smiled at him.
"Oh it's no problem. I barely knew the difference. It was always just me, my dad, and my brothers. Excuse me, I have another person to wait on, but my shifts over in 5 minutes. I can come talk to you then, if you'd like."
Castiel walked off, and Dean resisted the urge to stare at him. He had no idea why he was so attracted to this man, it wasn't normal. None of this was normal for him. He should be working, not obsessing over some man he'd never even met before. Five minutes later, Cas walked back over to his table and sat down.
"Do you want to tell me why you keep staring at me then? You didn't peg me as the type who'd swing for that team when you walked in here, but then I caught you staring at me."
Dean looked nervous and stuttered for a bit, trying to think of a proper response. He was usually so good at talking to girls, but it was different. He'd never been this flustered by anyone before.
"Oh don't get me wrong, I don't mind. I only meant that you seemed more like a man who'd be smooth with his words, who'd be a ladies man, but you're quite the opposite."
Dean shrugged. He didn't really know how to reply to him.
Castiel looked at him strangely, squinting his eyes, like he was trying to figured out if he knew Dean from somewhere.
"Hey, this is kind of an odd request, as I'd usually just take the bus home, but I was wondering if you could drive me? I don't think I'm really going to make it. I worked a little bit over today, and I'd have to run to the bus stop on a normal day."
Dean nodded.
They got into his car and Dean put in one of his cassette tapes.
"What's your name anyways?"
"Oh. Uh, Dean. Dean Winchester."
"Dean Winchester. Nice to meet you Dean. Where do you live?"
"Oh, I live up in Morris."
"Morris? That's a little far from here, isn't it? There's gotta be a Biggerson's closer than that. What brings you all the way up here?"
"Oh I don't know. Change of scenery."
They sat in silence for a bit before Cas asked, "So, do you come up here a lot? It's just, you seem awfully familiar to me."
"No. I mean, I don't know, I might have. I don't remember coming up here, but maybe I have been once or twice."
They pulled up to Castiel's apartment.
"Hey, you know you have a little bit of a drive home. Do you want to come inside, have a few beers maybe?"
Dean had never been the one getting hit on before. He didn't know how to react.
"Look, it's fine if you don't want to, I just, never mind."
"No. I'll have a beer with you, sure."
Castiel's apartment was strange, to say the least. It was sort of like an organized mess. It seemed to have some order about it, but it was a hodgepodge of furniture and nothing really matched. It was the opposite of Dean's organized, modern home.
"Here you go, one beer. You know, you don't really talk much. The strong, silent type, huh?"
"Honestly, I'm not usually this quiet. I'm pretty outgoing myself. Its just, I'm having a hard time figuring out what to say to you."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"I guess you should. Look, I have a bit of a drive, and I have work in the morning. I just, I should go."
"Oh, okay." Cas went to his desk and shuffled around in the drawers a bit before finding the sharpie he wanted.
"Here is my number, you should call me later."
"Okay, I will. I will."
When Dean got home he grabbed another beer and sat for a few minutes just staring at the phone, debating whether or not he wanted to call yet. He figured he should wait, but all he wanted was to call him. Finally he gave in, and the phone rang a few times before Cas picked up.
"Hello Dean."
"Hey Cas."
The next night, they went on a date. Cas wanted them to go to this frozen lake, and Dean didn't like the idea at all. When they got there Cas dragged him out onto the lake, and Dean slipped. Cas caught him from falling and kept his hand on his back as they walked out.
"Wow Cas, you're stronger than you look."
Cas laughed and plopped down on the ice. He was laying on his back, looking up at Dean.
"Come here" He pulled Dean down next to him. "Just look up at the stars. It's so... infinite. There's so much up there. it's just so overwhelming, you know?"
Dean sighed. "Yeah"
"Dean, I feel like I already know you. It's so weird, you know?"
"Yeah, weird."
Dean knew he was being awkward, but he was overwhelmed. This man had succeeded in not only asking him on a date but also in making him speechless on more than a few occasions. It was amazing. He was just so different from anyone he'd ever met before.
"Do you know any constellations?"
"No Cas. I don't really spend too much time looking at the sky."
"You really should spend more time doing it. It kind of puts you in your place, you know? It kind of shows you how unimportant you really are. You look up, and you see all these stars, all these galaxies, other planets, other suns, and you know that you're the least important thing in the universe. That all your earthly problems don't matter much in the long run. It kind of reminds me why I prefer spending my time living life to the fullest rather than waste it dwelling on the past, you know?"
"I don't know. I think I like the illusion of being the most important person in the universe. It makes me feel like my life means something, you know? Like, no matter how boring I am, I still matter at least a little bit."
"Yeah, I guess I know what you mean."
Dean drove Cas home that morning, and he asked if he could sleep at his house.
"Yeah, I guess that's fine. Just know that my brother might show up. He does that sometimes."
"Oh that's fine, it's not like we're sleeping with each other or anything, ha."
"Yeah."
Cas went upstairs to go get a change of clothes and his toothbrush. While he was gone a girl with wavy blonde hair knocked on his window, asking him if he wanted something.
"I don't really know what you mean?"
She just rolled her eyes and walked away. Well that was rude, and weird, Dean thought.
Dean was blasting The Flame by Cheap Trick and sobbing in his car. He was just sitting in the parking lot, sobbing. He had no idea how it had come to this, how this had happened, WHY this had happened. He felt like things were going fine. Things WERE going fine. What happened? It didn't matter now, he supposed. It didn't matter at all. At least in a few hours it wouldn't matter. He went inside, downed a fifth, and took the sleeping medication he had been prescribed. He laid down, shut his eyes, and fell asleep.
When he opened his eyes, he was in the middle of a conversation with his brother. Sam had been waiting in his apartment when he got home, he had wanted to make sure that he was doing okay since the breakup.
"Sam look I've got it all under control. Now would you please just leave? I need to sleep. I just need to sleep."
"Hey, hey man take it easy. I could stay here if you want me to? Do you need me to? I can sleep on the couch."
"NO Sam it's FINE. I just want to be alone."
Sam gave him a sympathising look, a look that Dean hated getting from his little brother. Wait, this just happened not half an hour ago. He looked around. He was confused. Sam started to walk out the door, but then everything faded and melted away, and he was standing in Sam and Jess's apartment. It was more like he was watching himself, he wasn't actually participating in the conversation, but he was still in his own body.
"Come on Dean, you know how he gets. He's probably just blowing off a little steam. It'll be fine." Jessica reached out and stroked his shoulder, and he pulled away.
"No Jess you don't understand. I mean, I don't want this to last forever. We had a little fight, sure, but, come on. I love the guy. So I called him, and his number's changed. I mean, it's been a week. Who does that? And so I decided to go get him a birthday present, because his birthday's tomorrow, and I found him this AWESOME t-shirt, I mean its got this pun on it, it says 'Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!'. I take it to Biggerson's and do you know what I see? I see him flirting it up with some eye candy blonde hooker. I just. I don't understand. It's like he didn't even know me. It's like he was dating her, and had no idea who I was."
Sam let out a nervous laugh, and him and Jess exchanged looks.
"Hey Dean, you want a beer? I've got some in the fridge."
"I just don't understand, Sam. Why would he do that to me? Is he punishing me? Torturing me on purpose? I don't get it. He's not that kind of person. I just. I need to see him. Maybe I should just go to his apartment. Try to talk to him about it."
"Dean, come on. Just, give him some space. It's CAS we're talking about. Just, let him do what he has to do, right?"
Jess walked over and handed Dean a beer. "Dean, maybe you should just let him go, I mean, maybe he just wants it done with. Maybe he just doesn't want to draw it out any longer. Just, let it go."
"Just let it go? That's your advice? I've been with this man for 3 years and you want me to just 'let it go'? No. Sorry, but I just can't do that. I can't just throw our relationship away like that. He'll talk to me alright. I'll make him talk to me. He has to talk to me. I'll lock him in a room with me if I have to but he's talking to me."
"Dean-"
"No Jess, he's had time. He's had a week and a half to think about it and he's already all over some girl that I don't even know? I'm not doing it. It isn't going to happen, no. He's my boyfriend. I'm not just going to let him go because of some stupid fight. It's just not gonna happen, okay?"
"Okay look, Dean, here's the thing. Just... Hold on a second."
Sam went upstairs, and came back a few seconds later with an envelope in his hand. Dean opened it, read it. All it said was: "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Winchester, Castiel Novak has removed Dean Winchester from his memory. Please never mention their relationship to him again. Thank you, Lacuna Inc."
Dean stared at the card for a few minutes, tearing up, and then he exploded. He threw the card on the ground and violently knocked over a lamp before screaming, "What does that even mean?! What is that?"
Sam sighed, "I looked it up. It's a company. They, they can erase certain parts of your memory. I mean, you know how Castiel is. He just, does things and no one knows why. He's impulsive, you know, it really-"
Sam's voice started to fade, and the memory melted away too. Now, he was running on the sidewalk downtown, pushing people out of the way, and crying. He noticed now that no one had a face, just bodies and heads. He stopped suddenly, and he turned and looked at the building next to him. The sign on the door said 'Lacuna Inc.' It had the hours below it, and he saw that they were open. This was yesterday afternoon. He pushed open the door and walked inside, ignoring everyone and going for the office in the back.
"I want you to do it to me", he was screaming. He was delirious.
The doctor smiled. "Sir, if you'd like to make an appointment you can sign in at the-"
"I want you to do it NOW. You did it to him. So do it to me. I don't want to live with this. I don't want to live knowing that he doesn't even remember who I am."
The doctor wasn't smiling anymore, he looked angry. "Someone showed you the card? I'm sorry sir, you were not supposed to know about that. Look, I'll make it up to you. How about you come in tomorrow, and we'll erase it all for you. Okay? How does that sound. Free of charge."
"That sounds pretty fucking good."
"All we need is for you to go home, collect everything you can find that reminds you of him. Everything. Clothes, pictures, paintings, journal entries, gifts. Everything you can think of. Bring them with you. We'll debrief you on the rest when you get here. I have an opening at 2. Sound good?"
"Sounds great."
Dean walked out the office door and walked into his apartment. What is happening right now? He grabbed a trash bag, walked to his room, and started with his closet. There were a couple of t-shirts and pairs of pants Cas had left sitting there, there was a t-shirt he had bought Dean at Six Flags. He found Cas's underwear in the laundry basket. There was a collage of pictures on his wall, from dates, from parties, from messing around with the polaroid camera. His favorite picture of them was taken on New Years, there was confetti all around them, and they were kissing. Just looking at that picture you could tell that they meant the world to each other, that at that moment they didn't know anyone else in the room. He started to cry, and he threw it in the trash bag. He ripped all the pictures off the wall and threw them in the trash bag. It was strange. He was usually so orderly, his apartment was clean and organized, but this wall was the one thing that wasn't so structured. This wall was the one thing he had that wasn't organized.
He walked back into the living room, and picked up every souvenir snow globe they had ever gotten on a road trip. That was something they'd both loved doing. They'd go on road trips and pick up every souvenir snow globe they could find. They told each other they'd go to every state before they died, and after that they'd start touring countries. Next to his computer there was a stack of CDs and DVDs, things they had listened to and watched together. He put his guitar in its case and set it next to the door, it had been a gift from Cas. He grabbed another trash bag and started stuffing it with all the home movies they had made, and the collection of letters that they had written to each other. He never realized just how much of his apartment had collected Cas. It was like Cas's soul was scattered all over his living room, every memory held a part of him, everywhere he had once sat held an imprint of him. He wondered how much of him had been scattered around Cas's apartment, as he had spent just as much time there as Cas had spent here.
The memory faded and he was back in the doctor's office.
"Okay Dean. We're going to have you look at each of these items, and we want you to focus on the memory. Tonight, some of our technicians will go to your home, and they'll liberate you from any memory you have of Castiel. Right now, we're just going to create a map, of exactly where in your mind Castiel is. Before we do this though, I want you to answer some questions about Castiel and your relationship. Why you're here, what he was like. That kind of thing. This just helps us to complete our files on you. Keeping records, very important to us."
He pulled out a tape recorder and set it on the table in front of Dean.
"Okay let's start with who you are, and why you're here."
"Okay. I'm Dean. Dean Winchester. I'm here to erase Castiel from my memory."
"And why do you want to do that."
"Well, I just can't live knowing that I remember everything about him and he doesn't even know that I exist."
"Tell me a little bit about Castiel, and what he was like."
"Okay, well. Castiel is like, he's like no one I've ever known before. He's just so different. He has such an amazing outlook on life. He's an atheist, but at the same time it's like he knows, he truly believes that theres something out there waiting for us all to do the right thing. See Cas just doesn't believe that whatever it is is calling all the shots. He believes that maybe the thing just made us all and stepped back to wait on us to catch up to him. Whatever. He's adventurous, he's wild, he's impulsive, basically the opposite of what I am. I think that maybe that's why we worked so well. And maybe also why it all fell apart so quickly. See, I could barely keep up with Cas. I couldn't keep up with Cas at all. He always had so much to talk about and I had so little to say. He would drag me places I never wanted to go, like roller blading, but I always ended up having fun in the long run.
See that's the thing I don't understand. I always ended up having fun in the long run. I never wanted to go, but I always had fun when I went. And I would lie and pretend like what we were doing was stupid, but he always knew I loved it. I mean. This one fight. This one, stupid little fight, and he runs and erases me. Cas was always really sensitive, and I know that, but I didn't think it would end up making so much of a difference to him. God, you'd think I'd punched him or something. Hell, I've punched him before. He's never done anything like this. And all I did was tell him the truth. No, doc, don't look at me like that. I've only punched him once in my life and it was because he was hysterical. He was screaming at me and at Sam and he pushed Sam into the wall, so I punched him. He was better after that, though we never found out what had gotten into him."
"So what was your fight about?"
The memory flashed away, and he was sitting on Cas's couch, watching TV. Cas walked in with a blueberry pie and a pack of cigarettes. He handed the pie to Dean and lit up a cigarette.
"Cas, you told me you were going to get some milk at the gas station. You told me that 2 hours ago. Where the HELL have you been. I tried calling you, and your phone was off. Do you wanna tell me what the hell is up with that?"
"Dean, come on. Don't be like that."
He walked over to the kitchen and pulled out the vodka, drinking straight from the bottle.
"Castiel are you drunk? What the hell man. You're gone for two hours and you come back drunk? Give me that!"
He grabbed the bottle from him and it disappeared in his hand. He stared at his hand for a second but Cas didn't seem to notice.
"Dean, what the hell. Look you need to lighten up a little. I was just having a few drinks with my buddies."
"Cas you don't have any 'buddies'. All of your friends are my friends."
"So you think. The truth is Dean you don't know anything about me, do you? And that scares the hell out of you."
"Cas, I don't even know what you're talking about."
"Oh, you know what I'm talking about. You like to pretend that you don't know I hang out with my coworkers but I do. It's like Luci doesn't even exist to you, right?"
"Castiel I am getting real tired of you screwing around with my head, okay? I understood it at first, I did. But now? After everything we've been through together? And you're still going to make me put up with this crap? Cas this is all just a game to you, isn't it? I'm just some pawn you're using in some fucked up chess game, right? You know what? I'm out of here. I'll talk to you when you decide to grow the fuck up."
When he walked out the door everything faded away, and he was back in the office. He was hooked up to this big chair, and there were wires attached to his forehead. The technician placed a picture in front of him, and he was instantly transported to that moment.
"Say cheese!"
"Cheese."
The lady snapped their picture. They were at Sea World, and they had been bombarded by one of the photographers at the front gates. They had decided to go for it and she gave them the ticket to pick up the picture at the end of the day. The first thing that Cas wanted to see was the Dolphins. He loved zoos. The monkeys, the snakes, they were his favorite animals. Dean always took him to one of the farms outside of town, Cas loved bees, and they kept bees there. You could pay to help extract honey from the hives. It was Castiel's favorite thing to do. They were in Sea World now though, and Cas wanted to see the Dolphins.
"Dean, did you know that besides humans, dolphins are the only mammal that has sex for pleasure and not just for breeding? It's one of the reasons why dolphins can be gay. Other species can be gay too of course, but that's why I think dolphins are."
"Yeah that's interesting Cas."
Dean didn't want to be there. He didn't like Sea World. Watching the shows meant getting wet, because Cas always wanted to sit in the "Splash Zone". He loved it. Dean despised it.
"Come on Dean. Please just try to have a little fun."
He actually was having fun. He loved seeing Cas excited. When Cas got excited about something, he was like a kitten or a baby discovering something new. Dean looked around and he noticed that people were disappearing, that the signs had become unreadable.
Cas started to walk away from him, and he knew he was about to fade. He grabbed his arm, "Cas no, stay. Stay here with me."
"But Dean I have to see the dolphins."
Cas ran off and disappeared into the darkness that had spread all around them.
Dean was now in his car, and Cas was sitting next to him. Dean's hand was on his knee, and Cas was going through Dean's cassette tapes.
"You know I really need to buy you some better music."
"Hey man, don't hate on the classic rock."
"Oh, I'm not. I'm just saying that some of this is a bit overrated. Metallica? Really?"
"Metallica's the greatest metal band in the world Cas, are you insane?"
"Well-"
"What are my rules."
"I'm only saying-
"What. Are. My. Rules?"
Cas sighed. "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole."
"Good boy. Now put those-" Dean looked down on the box, and all the cassette tapes had disappeared.
"What?"
"Nothing."
The music faded away, the road had faded away, and now Dean was driving into blackness. Cas looked over at him. Dean knew what was coming. This was the first time it had ever happened. It was the first time he'd said it.
"Dean?"
"Yeah Cas?"
"I really do love you."
Cas faded away, and now Dean was alone in his car. He was driving on some country road, 20 miles over the speed limit. He turned sharply around a corner and...
The next thing he knew he was in the hospital. He woke up, and he saw Cas eating a burger and watching Animal Planet.
"Cas?"
Castiel looked over at him and dropped his burger into his lap. He stood up and rushed over to Dean's side.
"Cas I know what you're going to say and the fight wasn't your fault, the crash wasn't your fault, okay? It just wasn't. I was mad at myself this time. I know I didn't tell you that but I should have."
"Dean I'm sorry this is all my fault. I never should have told you that, I'm sorry. I don't think you're like a lost puppy. I don't think you're boring. I'm an idiot, okay?"
"Cas are you listening to me?"
"Dean I know, okay? I'm an asshole. But I'm sorry and I'll make it up to you, I swear. I'll take you to that baseball game, okay? Even though I hate baseball, I'll take you. I'll take you. I'll take you. I'll take you. I'll take you. I'll take you..." It was like Cas was suddenly stuck on repeat.
"Cas?" Dean tugged on his plaid shirt. "Castiel?"
"I'll take you. I'll take you. I'll take you. I'll take you"
His voice kept getting louder and louder until he was screaming, and then suddenly everything just stopped all at once. The room went black. When the lights came back on he was standing in his bedroom, in his underwear. Cas was laying on the bed, his shirt was off but his pants were still on.
"Come on Dean, are you going to keep me waiting around all night?"
"I've just never done this before, Cas. I mean. Girls, yeah I've got some experience. But. This?"
"Dean come on. It's easy. It's essentially all the same."
Dean walked over to where Cas was sitting and kissed him desperately. Cas pushed him away and forced him to slow down a little bit, and it definitely did the trick. Dean pushed him down on the bed and they were getting pretty heavy, when Cas stopped. He kissed Dean's neck and whispered "I love you", kissed his shoulder and whispered "I love you", kissed his stomach and whispered "I love you". Cas stopped kissing him.
"No. No. You're supposed to keep going. No. I don't want to lose this one. Not this one. Please, please don't make it this one. Please."
It was too late. Cas had disappeared and all that was left was an empty bed. Soon the walls disappeared, and the rug, and the floor, until it was just Dean floating on the bed in a black sea. Soon, the bed washed up onto a beach. He recognized it, he was in North Carolina. This was the day that he had written a song for Cas. He had planned on proposing that day, but he chickened out. They couldn't get married anytime soon anyways.
Dean stepped out onto the beach. Instead of being in his underwear he was in his swim shorts, and he could see Cas out in the distance. He jogged over there, and Cas handed him his guitar. Dean tried to play the song for him, but he couldn't remember the chords. He couldn't even remember the words.
No please. I just want to see the look on his face one more time. He looked at me like he couldn't even believe I existed. I want him to look at me like that again. Please? Just one more time, it's all I ask.
It was no use. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't remember. Cas just kept staring at him, waiting.
"I'm tired of this. I don't want to lose you anymore."
"So don't lose me."
Dean was taken aback.
"Wait, you can hear me now?"
"Well, it seems so, doesn't it. What's wrong with you today? You seem a bit off."
Dean grabbed his arm and started running.
"Dean, where are you taking me, where are you going?"
"Somewhere they can't find you."
Dean closed his eyes and tried to remember something that wasn't Cas. When he opened them, he was in his parent's house. He saw Sammy playing with his trucks, and his mom on the couch. Castiel was hiding underneath the coffee table. All of a sudden the front door slammed, and they all jumped. John Winchester walked in, beer in hand, it was clear that he was drunk. Dean gulped. He knew when this was. It wasn't a memory he wanted to see, but he supposed anything was better than losing Cas.
"Mary. Where's dinner?"
"John it's 4. Dinner isn't even going to be ready for another hour and-
"You mean to tell me you haven't cooked anything yet?"
"Well, I-" John was already on top of her, his hand was gripping her blouse and he was breathing onto her face.
"What did I tell you about coming home to a meal, Mary?"
"Daddy don't!"
Dean had seen him do this before, and it never ended well. He didn't want to see it happen again. This memory, was the first memory Dean had of John Winchester hitting him. It was burned into his mind. John backhanded him hard enough to send him flying, then went after him again. When little Sammy cried in protest, John took a step towards him. Dean threw himself in front of Sammy, refusing to let John go anywhere near him.
The scene changed, and Dean was in his car. He had snapped back onto the map it seemed. He was in the parking lot of Biggerson's. The Biggerson's Cas worked at. He stepped inside and he knew, that this was the day he met Cas.
He sat down at one of the tables and waited for him to walk over.
"What can I get for you sir?"
"Well that depends. What do you suggest I order? I'm looking for a change in scenery and I figure that means a change in diet too."
It was just like his first erased memory, he was an observer, not a participant. He watched Cas's eyes work over him, he had never noticed it. Dean was oblivious to it all at first.
"Well, the Sidewinder soup and salad combo is our special for today, and honestly, it's the only thing I'd eat from this joint. Everything else is... well let's just say it's gruesome."
"Well, alrighty then. I'll have that I guess. Say. Does your name tag say Cas? That's an unusual name."
"Yeah. Short for Castiel, I have two brothers too, Gabriel and Michael."
"Oh man, your parents were religious, huh?."
Cas chuckled a little bit. "Yeah, well, just dad really. Our mom died when I was a baby. She didn't really pick the names either, from what I know."
"Oh well, I'm sorry to hear that."
"Nah, I don't really know the difference."
Dean looked down at his hands, and noticed that he was now standing, and nothing else existed around him. He was alone with Cas. He could tell that this would be the last memory. He reached out to him, trying to grab onto him, to kiss him or at least hold him one last time, but Cas turned to dust in his arms.
Dean woke up that morning with a terrible headache...
Dean woke with a start. He looked around him. He was in a motel room, but there was nothing else personal in there. No bag, no clothes, nothing. He suddenly heard the sound of flapping wings, and an angel was standing in front of him.
"Gabriel? What the hell was that?"
"That was me showing you what you seem to be too stupid to realize yourself."
He smirked, snapped his fingers, and was gone. Dean stared in the spot he had been for a few seconds before going to the phone and dialing Cas's number.
"Cas? There's something I gotta tell you."