Disclaimer: Just cos most seem to write this and I don't wanna get in trouble...I do not own any of the characters or SGA. No profit is made from this story.
Summary: Sheppard finally realizes how he feels about Jennifer. Hopefully better then it sounds.
Notes: Thanks to Nika and Cindy for all the help and encouragement
John was pacing his quarters furiously, thinking how the hell something like this could have happened. He'd been so damn careful...no strings, no attachments and certainly no feelings. How hard could that possibly be, he thought irately.
He'd broken his cardinal rule and gone and fallen for a girl, and not just any girl no no no ( mused John). He'd fallen for the object of half the bases affection, the one the only Doctor Jennifer Keller!
" Round of applause everybody", said John aloud throwing his hands up in the air in frustratation.
Plopping himself onto the couch he leaned back covering his face with his hands. He knew he'd been spending alot of time with her as of late. Every oppurtunity he got actually.
It started out innocently enough, I mean the whole team liked her. Teyla and Jen were practically inseperable, Rodney loved having someone who didn't tell him to shut up everytime he'd start rambling and Ronon seemed to open up to her, more so than to anyone else.
So naturally he was bound to be spending more time with her...right? Ok so maybe the midnight kitchen raids, or the sitting out on the pier and talking all night about anything and everything didn't have anything to do with Teyla and the others but what was the harm in that?
It was pure coincidence that he happend to be walking past the infirmary, or her quarters, or the gym where she was sparring with Ronon or the west pier, past the tower down the 14 flights of stairs and through the maze of hallways where she would go to have some alone time. He hadn't been actively seeking her out all those times, it was by chance that he'd bumped into her.
" Oh who am I kidding. I'm a lost cause. There's no coming back from this." stated John.
I love her, he thought somberly, I need her. She 'd become his best friend, his confidant. She made him laugh so hard he'd squirt beer out his nose. She'd taken all the darkness inside him and shone a bright light over it. She didn't try to change him, but accepted him for who he was, flaws and all. All the heartache, the loss, the pain he'd suffered in his life hadn't disappeared because of her it was still there just as it always would be, but unlike him putting it away in a box and ignoring it Jen had given him the strength to face it and let himself heal.
Unconsciously, John reached into his pocket and withdrew a hairclip which he twirled between his fingers. Looking down at the clip, he studied it intently running his finger along the delicate flower shape. Smiling to himself he recalled how he'd pulled it out of his hair several months ago, after breakfast with Jennifer.
They were having breakfast out on the balcony and Jennifer had been fighting a losing battle with her hair and the wind. John sat laughing at her attempts to hold her hair in place and eat her eggs at the same time. Taking pity on her he took his wristband off, leaned over and tied her hair up with it.
" There. Now isn't that better then that measley little clip you've got in your hair. You don't have to try and scoop your eggs off the plate with your tongue now."
She gave him a mock glare just as she was summoned to the infirmary over the radio.
" Unfortunatley there's no cure for that mop on your head", she said with feigned sadness.
Jennifer got up and ruffled his hair with both hands, then bid a hasty retreat.
Walking back to his quarters he sensed people staring and snickering at him but brushed it off as his imagination.
He went about his day as usual, paperwork, meetings, lunch with rodney but it wasn't until he'd gone to take a shower after sparring with ronon, who'd been awfully chipper throughout the match despite being hit several times by John, did he realize he had Jennifer's hairclip in his hair. John pulled the hairclip out as he was washing his hair and it suddenly dawned on him why everyone had been acting so unusually.
John had taken great pleasure in getting back at Jennifer but never gave the clip back to her. He kept it with him at all times, like a charm, and to this day it never failed to make him smile when he looked at it.
John stood striding towards the window, he looked out at the city before him. The city he considered home, now more so than ever. He thought back to earlier in the infirmary when he'd had his shocking revelation. He and Ronon had been sparring and he'd gotten a lucky shot in which required a trip to the infrimary.
" I told you I'm fine", grumbled Ronon, walking down the hallway alongside John to the infirmary.
" Oh I know you are chewie but the doc'll slice me a new one if she finds out you got a boo boo and I didn't make you get it checked out. So do me a favour and come quietly... there might be a lollipop in it for you, I hear doc just got a new stash delivered", John said grinning. Ronon just gave him a quelling look which John responded to with a cheeky smile.
As they rounded the corner to the infirmary they could hear the hysterical ranting of none other than Rodney himself.
" You are not taking this seriously enough, it might have been contagious. That idiot in the botany lab said the soil samples contained spores from... something or other, right before he hurled it at my face!", he screamed.
" Rodney it was just soil", Jennifer replied placatingly.
Stroking his arm she led him to a gurney and silently urged him to sit down.
" Now take a deep breath Rodney, your fine. Doctor milton didn't hurl the soil at you he tripped and it slipped out of his hand. It was an accident. The soil has no contagions and the spores are completely harmless."
" Oh yeah", Rodney started, building up steam again," Then why the hell does my face look like it's been baked near the the coronsphere of the sun, huh?"
" Maybe because you just scrubbed two layers of skin off with a loofah and soap",
Rodney made to say something and was abruptly cut off by Sheppard's snort of laughter.
"What the hell did you do to yourself Mckay. You look worse then Lee did when we beamed him out of his hotel room."
" Be nice", chided Jennifer lightly slapping him on the arm, but with an amused smirk on her face.
Turning back to Rodney, " Lightly rub that ointment I've given you on your face every three hours and try and stay away from the botany lab will you?"
Jen gave him a gentle smile and a nudge towards the door.
" Fine i'm leaving just don't say I didn't tell you so when I start sprouting shoots", Rodney warned whilst leaving.
" Now what can I do for you boys", she said turning to them.
Spotting John's sheepish look she immediately turned to Ronon and caught sight of his arm.
Sighing dramatically she motioned towards the gurney indictaing he should sit.
" How'd you manage to get a shot off on him?" she asked.
" Hey" choked John indignanlty, Ronon silently chuckling to himself. " For your information doc I get many oppurtunities to beat him, I just don't take them. Ronon is a member of my team and I feel that me beating him down on a regular basis is counter productive and demoralising so I allow him to take the upper hand. That way he doesn't feel like he's inferior to me".
Jennifer was nodding her head trying to maintain a solemn expression, but when she looked up at Ronon they both burst out laughing.
" No one takes me seriously around here", huffed John leaning against the gurney looking at Jen from the corner of his eye.
He loved watching her work. She was so precise, yet surprisingly gentle. Cleaning the wound and suturing all the while maintaining a steady stream of conversation which could put even the most fretful patient at ease.
Jennifer was busy fussing over Ronon admonishing him for not being careful enough. " You need to be more careful, especially with Bruce Lee over here", she said with a wicked smile nodding at John. " The number of times I suture you in a week is getting ridiculous!"
" You saying your sick of stitching me up?" Ronon asked with a mock hurt look on his face. " Cos i can find another doc if it's getting too much for you".
" Find another doctor eh? You'll have trouble finding one hun trust me. They still think your a mean old bear, but I know the truth" she said finishing up. She removed her gloves and the next thing you know she was pulling on Ronon's cheeks and shaking his head from side to side.
" Your just a big softie and one of these days everyones gonna know it", she cooed at him, like you would a child.
Ronon tried to glare at her but burst out laughing instead.
John felt his heart swell and started to choke up until he thought he'd burst. Watching this tiny slip of a woman having turned the meanest son of a bitch in two galaxies into a pile of goo, he realised he'd fallen for her. Watching how her kindness and love had affected the people all around him including himself, he thought he was going to implode from the feelings flooding his insides.
Jennifer turned to him and stopped short. " John are you okay?", she asked worriedly.
John just stood staring at her with a frown on his face, completely bewildered.
" Uh yeah", he managed to choke out, " I'm fine just remembered I had some paperwork I had to finish up. Gotta go" he turned tail and ran out of the infirmary leaving a bemused Jennifer and Ronon staring after him.
John came back to reality, still standing in his quarters, the hair clipped clutched tightly in his hand. " Yup...I'm officially screwed."
finis.
What do you think? Reviews would be greatly appreciated