Clare stared down at the blood dripping from her wrists. She sighed and headed for the bathroom. It's just like any other night. Clare didn't know how she started cutting, but she did know that it made her feel better. That it took away some of her pain, if only for a little while. Eli had the same effect on her, but she knew he would never like her the way she liked him. They would never be more than English partners.
Walking back into her room with freshly cleaned wrists, she heard a loud ping from her computer. Sitting down at her desk, she read the message.
eli-gold49: hey
clare-e23: hi
eli-gold49: whats up?
Clare heard shouting and the smashing of objects from downstairs and groaned softly, letting a tear slip down her face.
clare-e23: parents are fighting…again.
eli-gold49: do you want me to come over?
She bit her lip nervously, listening to the screaming. She didn't want Eli to hear that. It made everything too…personal. She began typing.
clare-e23: i dont know if thats such a good idea right now…
eli-gold49 has logged off
Clare groaned again. He never listened to her. He was going to hear her parents fighting, possibly find out about her abusive father. She didn't want that. As she was pondering her thoughts, she heard a rustling of trees as Eli climbed through her window. She hadn't realized she had been crying until then.
Eli saw the tears on her face and strode over to her, wrapping her in his arms, whispering it was going to be okay as she cried on his shirt, getting it soaked. Eli didn't care, though. Clare was in his arms. He hated the expression on her face when he came in. She looked vulnerable. Broken. He wanted to fix her pain so badly. Make the hurt stop. For now, all he could do was be there for her. Be her friend.
They both heard a scream coming from downstairs and jumped apart.
"Stay here." Claire whispered, running out the door and down the stairs. Her mom lay on the couch, cradling her cheek, staring at her father. Clare didn't have to guess what had happened. She screamed at her father, but she regretted it as soon as the words came out of her mouth. He came flying at her and punched her in the face. She fell to the ground but she didn't make any noise. She couldn't have Eli coming down here. He kicked her repeatedly before storming out of the house and into the night. She slowly got up, tears streaming down her face, and did the best she could to get up the stairs.
Eli saw her coming through the door, tears on her face, and a red mark on her cheek that was already forming into a bruise. He stood up quickly, anger coursing through him.
"What happened?" He said darkly. Clare shook her head.
"It's okay, Eli. He-he just got mad, is all." She whispered quietly. He clenched his fists.
"It sure as hell is not okay, Clare. I'm going to kill-" Clare cut him off.
"No. Please don't do anything. It'll only make things worse." She pleaded. He only nodded his head.
"I-uh-have to go to the bathroom." She said, walking off abruptly. She didn't have to actually use the bathroom. She needed major stress relief. Lucky for her, she always kept a spare knife in the bathroom. She closed the door, forgetting to lock it, and pulled out her knife.
She sliced it across her skin, the blood beginning to pour out. She cried softly, the tears gradually coming faster and harder. She didn't know how long she could take this anymore. She dragged the knife across her skin again, crying even harder. She heard a voice.
"Clare? Are you okay?" Eli walked towards the bathroom door, hearing Clare's crying. Clare froze. She didn't have enough time to hide anything and the door open in front of her.
Eli stood there, staring, trying to register what he was seeing. Clare was sitting on the bathroom floor, a knife in her hand, her wrists covered in blood.
"What the hell?" He muttered, still observing the scene in front of him. He knelt down next to her and pried the knife out of her hands.
"Eli, I-" He cut her off.
"Why?" He asked her quietly, staring at her with those beautiful green eyes. Tears kept slipping down her cheeks as she thought about telling the truth. She sighed. Eli always knew when she was lying. She had to be honest.
"The…pain makes me feel…alive. Like I'm…like I'm really here. Like I'm not just…f-fading." She stuttered out, looking at him, searching for a reaction.
"Clare, you need to stop. Please. You're not making things better by doing this. You're only making it harder for yourself." Clare shook her head.
"I-I can't stop…" She whimpered. He pulled her into him, not caring if she was getting blood on his shirt. All he cared about was that Clare was hurting herself. He pulled away.
"We need to get you cleaned up." He said quietly. He tended to her cuts, anger boiling with each cut he found. This wasn't Clare. It wasn't his Clare. She whimpered again.
"You can't let me fade away, Eli. You can't let me disappear. Please." She cried into him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head softly.
"I promise I won't. I'll always be here for you." He whispered quietly. He couldn't let his Clare hurt herself like this. He wouldn't. In that moment he had made it his mission to keep her safe. No more games. He needed to be there for her.
"Will you…will you stay with me tonight?" She asked him quietly. He nodded and she let out a sigh of relief. She didn't think she could handle being alone tonight. She was too scared of never resurfacing.
"I need to change…" She muttered, looking down at her blood-stained clothes, before grabbing her pajamas and disappearing into the bathroom. She came out a few moments later, wearing a white cami and boy shorts. It exposed her body, allowing Eli to see the bruises that covered her. He practically growled at the sight, his hands clenching into fists.
But before he had a chance to react she strode over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"Thank you." She whispered quietly. He pulled her towards the bed and laid down next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to him.
"Goodnight, Blue Eyes." He whispered. She smiled slightly before drifting off into unconsciousness.