A/N: Hi, Im just writing this story at random. I don't know if it's a one shot or not for sure if i get great and positive feed back i'll write more. It just depends on you guys. Tell me if you want more. I do not own "I'll wait for you" or "Shadow." Ashlee Simpson and Elliot Yamin are the artists featured so far in my story. the poem and the first song I do own. So please if you use them for your fanfics please credit me. I really just wrote this out of randomness.
The heart gets what the heart wants
A Jommy fanfic
Jude was sitting in her room listening to her ipod. She was working on some new lyrics and was thinking about things that were important to her. She'd been through alot between losing her jcontract at G-major to tommy and Jamie fighting for her. She really wanted two things. A recording contract and to be happy again. She could only feel pain pulling from every direction. It'd been three weeks since Tommy had left for Thailand and since She'd spoken with Jamie. Her sister was off in New York with Kwest and her dad had been dating. she really didn't know what to do other then to keep herself locked in a room by herself. She grabbed her guitar strumming a melody . She started to sing the words :
Forgive me father for i have sinned
i never knew to look within
i had your power inside of me
alll this time
i always wished on a star
i never thought it take this long to get this far
She continued to strum her guitar and write lyrics down. As she strummed she came up with her hook to her new song. She grabbed the pencil and started to write it down.
hook:
I know sometimes
sometimes i'd look too far
for something that isnt thhherreee
As the lyrics kept flowing so did her thoughts. She was really trying to focus when she heard a ring at her doorbell. "Damnit." she grumbled as she wrote the last few words of the chorus.
chorus:
so tell me the way
to make it through this day
i cannot see the truth
if it werent for you
so give me faith
to get me through the dayyyy
She pulled out the earbuds from her ipod and got off her bed setting her guitar on it's stand. She walked to her door and opened it. She walked down the stairs in her slipper. She was wondering who was at the door and what they wanted. She opened her door and to her surpise it was Tommy. "Oh Great it's you." She said as she opened door. "What do you want Quincy?" She looked at him annoyed. "To talk to you." He looked at her. "Well what if I don't feel like talking with you or anyone right now?" She retorted as she stood there. "Jude come on just give me 5 minutes." She really wasn't mad at him it was a whole assortment of things. She was depressed and missed everyone. She'd felt like everyone just had kind of abandoned her. "Fine, you've got 5 minutes." She held the door open and let him come inside the house and closed. She walked over to the couch and sat down pulling her legs up to her chest and saw him sit down on the otherside.
"Look Jude, Ever since everything happened...I've been kicking myself in the ass for it. Hunter, not telling you about Angie, just all of it. Look girl I need you in my life. I don't have to be your producer that's fine. I just need you to know that I couldn't stop thinking about you girl, I love you with every part of me. " He looked at her with a different look in his eyes. Jude thought she knew him but she really didn't. She wanted to forgive him but she couldn't. She'd only be fooling the world and not herself. "Tommy...I don't even know where to begin with you anymore. It's hard. I put everything else on the backburner for us. You are the one guy who can make me and break me and you did just that. " She snapped. "It's like you get some sort of sick twisted pleasure out of hurting me. You went to thailand and probably screwed all the girls possible."
She glared at him as she had said that Tommy really didnt know where this was coming from. Little did he know that it wasn't him she was mad at but she was mad about alot of things. She felt like everyone who did ask was trying to get into her business.She wanted to stay locked in her room and hide there. "Quincy look...I don't know anymore okay?" She started to cry alittle bit. " I really...I just can't anymore...not with you not with anyone..." "Jude what're you talking about girl?" "Nothing...nothing at all." She snapped. "Im just fine." She whipped her tears from her face trying to hide what she was feeling. "I really just...never mind." She looked at him. She got up from her seat and rushed up to her room. Tommy was really worried by this time. "Jude..." He got up and walked up to her room two steps at a time. "Girl what is the matter." he asked as he stood in the doorway. "Nothing...at all." She replied as she continued to sit on her bed. "I don't think anyone could possibly understand what I am feeling right now." She exclaimed. "Well Im trying will you just talk to me please Harrison?" She tried to breathe but it was almost impossible. "Tommy...every...everyone is gone. They all left me. They don't care." She looked at the wall. "That includes you."
He sighed taking in a breath of air. "Girl, I asked you to come with me. You decided not to go. You just gotta understand that sometimes people need their own things." "But what if i dont wanna understand it Tommy? what is i just wanna scream and cry and hide myself from the world? huh? Do you even understand the pain Im going through right now?" "Yes girl i do. You think I don't have my own pain? like everytime im away from you? " "Tommy don't even go there and start comparing the pain...it's not the same." She sneered at him. "And I don't expect you to know what that pain feels like."
"Girl im just trying to understand..." "maybe i dont want you or anyone to... i sit here crying myself to sleep almost every damn night while you, and everyone else is off having your fun. Well get this Quincy...maybe it's my turn to leave all of you behind. " Tommy looked at her his face literally stunned. Did she just say what he thought she did? "Do what?" "Yeah that's right Tommy., Im packing my bags and leaving your ass this time. Maybe then you can see what it feels like for me when you leave every damn time something gets hard." She snapped. "Now leave!" She shouted as he left her side "Go screw the blonde from the bar for all i care. Do me a favour and just leave!" She got up and slammed the door behind him locking it. She pushed everything off her bed except for her guitar and ipod which she gently set down in their proper places.
She rushed back on her bed grabbing the pillow screaming into it. The frustration that built up inside of her just erupted. Tommy made his way down the stairs storming out of the Harrison house. He walked to his viper and drove off and Jude put her pillow down. "I gotta do something...I cant...i cant handle this anymore." She sobbed to herself as she had grabbed her laptop from under her bed turning it on and setting it up with her instant messenger and word document. She typed up something familiar to a poem type setting.
"Forgive me father"
Forgive me father for i have sinned
i ask for your forgiveness and for your strength
strength to endure pain and tragedy
strength to endure anything
forgive me father for i have sinned
against you and myself
against my mother and father
and sister and people i care about
forgive me father for i have sinned
i don't deserve eternal happiness
please forgive my sins
come into my heart and make me whole once again
forgive me father for i have sinned
i've lost my faith and lost my way
I know i cannot stay here anymore
i wore out my welcome
help me endure this pain
forgive me father for i have sinned
i gave up to easily and i have lied
to myself and not to others
forgive me father for i have sinned
i might lose everyone and theres nothing i can do about it
they all hate me and wish that I was dead. Help me be strong because only strong people survive.
She finished her poem and shut her laptop. She got up from her bed walking towards the mirror. "i've become such a wreck." She sighed and told herself. "Without Tommy, mom,dad,or sadie. " She saw a tear trickle down her cheek. "Shit..." She looked down and realized there was blood on her lip from chewing on them when they were chapped. She grabbed some tissue and started to whipe off the little bit of blood that was on her lip. She walked away tossing the tissue into the garbage. Jude's phone rang and she picked it up. "Hello?" She asked the voice on the other end. "Jude...it's Dad." "Hey Dad, how're you? how's everything going?" "Great just wanted to check in on you." "Im just ducky dad. Really, just peachy keen." She told her father. "Well I bet you're busy so I'll let you get back to what you're working on. " "Okay, love you dad." "Love you too Jude." "Bye." Jude closed her phone quickly setting it on the nightstand. She walked down the hall and started up the shower water making it nice and hot enough to feel as if it were going to burn her skin. She walked back to her bedroom grabbing some clothes and stepped into her washroom and closed the door. Inside there was a radio that was able to be in the shower. She turned it on and stripped herself of the clothing she was in strategically placing in the pantry basket and stepping inside the shower. There was steam rising from the shower. The radio station was playing random music when it finally hit something she recognized.
"Shadow" Somebody listen please All the
days collided So if you're listening Mother, sister, father, sister, mother I
was living in the shadow Living in, living in, living in the shadow
I
was six years old
When my parents went away
I was stuck inside
a broken life
I couldn't wish away
She was beautiful
She had
everything and more
And my escape was hiding out and running for
the door
It used to be so hard being
me
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to
find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
Living in a
nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
My
chains are finally free
Don't feel sorry for me
One less perfect than the next
I was stuck inside
someone else's life and always second best
Oh, I love you now
'cause now I realize
That it's safe outside to come alive in my
identity
There's so much more to me
you haven't seen
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's
dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to
me
Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I
am wide awake
Then I can finally see
Don't feel sorry for
me-
Everything's
cool now
Mother, sister, father, sister, mother
Everything's
cool now
Oh, my life is good
I've got more than anyone
should
Oh, my life is good
And the past is in the past
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find
a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
I'm living in a new
day
I'm living it for me
And now that I am wide awake
Then I
can finally see
So don't feel sorry for me
Don't feel sorry,
don't feel sorry for me
Don't feel sorry, don't feel sorry for
me
Living in,
living in, living in a new day
Even though that's how she used to feel she thought maybe Sadie kind of still resented her for the fact that she became an overnight success. Maybe that's the real reason Sadie and everyone left. They thought she was this stuck up little pop diva that wasn't it at all. Jude felt even more alone now then she ever did. Sometimes the prices to fame were all too much for her. Tommy was the only one who got her but she had managed to push him away or so she thought. She finished with her shower and left the radio in the shower playing. She got dressed after putting on some deodarant.
She started to walk out of the washroom when she heard a familiar voice on the radio. "Hey guys it's Tom Quincy...yes little Tommy q of Boyzattack. There's a special girl out there i wanna dedicate this song to. I love you girl with all of my heart and if you hear this know im always going to be here for you no matter what. I love you Jude." Jude couldn't believe what she had just heard. "No way " she said to herself. Meanwhile He smiled to himself as he made that dedication. He looked around as he began to sing
I
never felt nothing in the world like this before Girl you could of stayed but you wouldn't give me a
chance So why does your pride make you
run and hide So
baby I will wait for you
Now I'm missing
you and I'm wishing you would come back through my door.
Oooooo
Why
did you have to go?
You could of let me know
So now I'm all
alone
With you not around it's a little bit more than I can
stand.
Oooooo
And all my tears stay
runnin' down my
face
Why did you turn away?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie
what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be
Cause I don't know what else I can
do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my
life
Baby
I will wait for you Been a long time since you called me
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I
really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do I'll wait
for you
(How could you
forget about me)
You gotta be feeling crazy(crazy)
Ooooo
How
can you walk away
(Way) Everything stays the same
I just can't
do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl
I told you what it is and it just ain't like that Baby why can't we just, just start all over
again So baby I will wait for you
Noooooo
Why
can't you look at me?
You're still in love with me
Don't
leave me crying
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I
can love you right
But you're telling me it won't be
enough
Cause I don't know
what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it
takes the rest of my life
Baby
I will wait for you So why does your pride make you run and hide Baby I
will wait for you (for you) Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true
I
really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll
wait for you
Are
you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you're
keeping inside
That is not how you want it to be
Ooooooo
Baby I will wait for you
If
it's the last thing I do
If you
think I'm fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my
life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you
I'll
be waiting …
Tommy finished singing the song acapella as he looked at the radio disc jockey. "That was "Wait for you" by Tom Quincy. Jude Harrison is one special lucky. Well we have more coming up for you after this break. Jude was smiling some what to herself. She needed to find Tommy. She loved the song and she really needed him to know she loved him. It wasn't so much her wanting to push everyone away it was just that she had been because of some of the stuff she was going through right now. After listening to that song She knew she needed him to be there with her and to be his girl. She looked around as she walked into her bedroom quickly and grabbed her keys and cell phone dialing Tommy's cell phone and placing it up to her ear.
"Come on Tommy, pick up...please..." She pleaded into the phone as it rang. She got the voicemail. "This is Tommy you know what to do." She suddenly felt tears falling down her face. Was her avoiding her or busy...She really didnt know what to do.
Tommy was talking to some fans in the hallway as his phone vibrated in his pocket. He signed a couple of autographs and then grabbed the phone flipping it open hitting the missed calls. He looked at the list and had seen Jude called his phone. He quickly hit the call button as he placed the phone to his ear. She had just shut her phone as she heard the song " Back at one" fill the room which was his ringtone at the moment. "Tommy?" She asked as she flipped her phone open and hit talk. "Is that you?" She asked and thought "Wait a second of course it's him." She laughed to herself.
"Yeah girl, it's me." He replied smiling to himself. He walked out of the radio station and proceeded to his car opening it. He was happy to hear her voice and apparently she heard his dedication of the song. "I take it you liked the song ?" "Like? Tommy like doesn't even discribe that song to me. Love, excited, happy is what I guess describes it for me." She smiled as she shifted in the seat she was sitting in as she put her shoes on her feet. "Where are you?" Jude asked as she finished tying her shoe.
"Uh Im on my way back to my place to finish working on some stuff. why?" He asked as he started his car placing it into reverse as he backed up after checking the area around him to make sure there were no cars coming at him or behind him. "Uh no reason...I just wanted to apologize...you know for earlier." She replied sighing in relief that he was talking to her. "It's okay girl, I get it. I know you're having a rough time right now especially with everything going on. Why don't i take you out for dinner or drop by in a few. " He replied as he put the car into drive and started to drive off.
"Okay, so I'll see you in a few." She kept telling herself in her mind to breathe and calm. She was really nervous about this. She didn't want to end up in a fight again with him. It was hard fighting with him especially when she needed him more than anyone or anything right now. She just wasn't sure she could convince herself she was strong enough to deal with everything right now or heartbreak from the man she loved more than anything in this world. "Yeah bye girl." "Bye Tom." She smiled as she flipped her cell phone shut and stood up placing it back onto the countertop in the kitchen. She placed her keys back on the hook as she walked back into the livingroom sitting down on the couch.
As she sat on the couch. She was only imagining the possiblities of what he was doing. Tommy was driving as he called kwest. "Hey Man...can you do me a favour?" "Yeah sure T what is it?" Kwest asked as he sat in his apartment back in Toronto. He was in in New York with Sadie but had to come back for a weekend to take care of some stuff. "Can you meet me at my house in a few minutes?" Tommy asked as he started to drive to the market. He wanted to make a special night for him and Jude. A night to remember. "Yeah. See you soon man." Tommy hung up as he parked his car and called Jude. Jude's phone rang again and she picked it up. "Hello?" "Hey Harrison, it's gonna be alittle bit before I can be there, Im sorry girl. Something came up at the last minute." He knew she was gonna be mad at him for a while until she saw what he was going to do. She hung up the phone angry again. "Damnit, why? " She grumbled to herself as threw the phone.
"Hello? Jude?" He asked as he then heard the dial-tone and hung up his cell. He walked towards the store picking up a bottle of chardonay and some chocolates. He then grabbed some pasta noodles and sauce along with potatoes, and chicken. He took the stuff to his car and placed it in back seat as he then walked to the nearest flower shop and bought a couple hundred red rose petals. He grabbed some candles at least 200 candles and used his credit card to pay for it. He then took that stuff and placed in the car and he drove to a jewerly store and picked out a beautiful ring. He wasn't proposing to her right now. He was getting a promise ring. He wanted to make a promise to her one that meant his dedication and love for her. He knew he would have to top this if he was going to propose to her one day but this wasn't it yet. He got the ring inscribed "I only have love to burn for you." That was their song. The one he had written for her 18th birthday. Those words rang true. He got back in the car with the ring box in his pocket and drove back to his apartment there awaiting Kwest which had pulled up and had been waiting for him for quite a while.
Tommy opened the door to his house for Kwest. He then walked back towards his car grabbing the various bags. He brought them inside his house shutting the door behind him. He took the food to the kitchen. "What do you have planned there Romeo?" Kwest asked eyeing the bags. "Not that it's really your business but I wanted to do something nice for Jude." He replied looking at kwest who was very curious. "Sounds like you're planning on more than just something nice Tom. You don't do this usually for a girl." He looked around at the time. " She isnt just a girl Kwest, she's the girl." He felt his face widen with a grin across it as he got the food out on the counter and placed it into the fridge and the freezer. "So what exactly are you doing?" Kwest looked at Tommy. "Or going to be making? A chicken fettinchini alfredo." He replied smirking. "Anyways I need your help setting up the candles throughout the house." Tommy looked at Kwest as he nodded. Tommy and Kwest went and grabbed the candles strategically placing a few on each of the steps and around the bridge that was in the middle of the house. They put some in all the windows and the pathway that went through to the dinningroom and the kitchen.
Tommy set up a few candles on the table and the good china. He had his own personal chef but this time he wanted to make it himself. His cooking skills have improved since the last time she had his food. He started the food as he called Jude only getting her voicemail. She decided to not take his phone call. "Girl, it's Quincy, I know you're angry with me but please understand Im doing something and I think you're gonna like it." He replied as he continued making dinner. Kwest finished up the candles and then grabbed the rose petals. "Kwest...i wanna make rose petals all over the house including the bedroom." He replied as he covered the mouthpiece and then placed it back to his ear. "Anyways I'll be there in a few girl I promise you that." His goal wasn't to make love to her or do anything she was not ready for and after totally ditching her, he understood her not wanting to even have anything to do with him. somehow he knew it was gonna be alright. He hung up the cell phone and proceeded to finish with the rose petals. Once he had finished he thanked Kwest "Alright man thanks." Kwest nodded as he shook Tommy's hand. "You're welcome T." He smiled. "Good luck in New york with Sadie." He smiled as he watched his friend proceed out the door as he did the same and took off driving towards the Harrison household.
Meanwhile Jude had fallen into a light sleep when she heard her phone beep. "Huh what?" She woke up and yawned grabbing it and opened it seeing she had a voicemail. She listened to Tommy's voicemail and shut it. "God what is he doing now?" She asked herself. As she got up and walked towards the kitchen. She heard wheels pull up outside as she was looking in the fridge for something to eat finding nothing she heard the knock at the door and walked towards it opening it. "Alright, what Quincy?" "Jude come with me please." He asked as he took her hand leading her out the door. He shut her door and led her to his car helping her inside. "This better be good Tom." She looked at him as she sat down and he shut her door. He rushed towards the otherside. "Trust me it will be. I promise." They drove towards his place and parked once in the driveway.
"Wow Tommy, it seems bigger than I remember." She was admiring his house again. It was so big for once single person to live there himself. He smirked to himself as he walked with Jude towards the door and placed his hands over her eyes as he opened it and walked her inside. "Jude keep your eyes shut." The dinner and everything was set up perfectly and in it's proper place. He could hear the music playing softly and the food smelled superb. He walked her alittle more inside the house. "You can open them" He smiled as he uncovered her eyes. She glanced around and couldnt even speak. This took her breath away. "It's beautiful Tommy...awe." She cooed at how beautiful it was in the house. He led her to the dining room which was all set up for them. "Oh my god Tommy, you really out did yourself it's amazing in here." She replied as he pulled her chair out for her and helped her get seated. "Hold on I have a surprise for you." He walked into the kitchen as he grabbed the box and walked out. "Here girl." He looked at her as her facial expression grew into a bigger smile. She took the box opening it. "It's beautiful." She replied as she looked at the ring. "Look what it says in the inscription girl." "I only have love to burn for you. Jude and Tommy forever."
She felt tears built up in her eyes as she looked at him and slipped the ring on her right ring finger. "Tommy, I dont know what to say...this is all of this is amazing." She looked into his eyes as his face grew closer to hers and she kissed him feverishly. "I love you Tommy." She whispered into his lips as they kissed. "love you too girl." They pulled away as he walked over towards his side of the table. "So I was thinking about this girl, how about you and I go on alittle trip to the islands in mexico?" He asked her awaiting response. She looked at him thinking about the question he had just asked her.
A/N Will Jude have an answer for Tommy about leaving for a vaction? and what types of surprises will they face if they go on the trip?