Prologue:

I looked around, well sort of, I was in a state of mixed feelings, ya know confusion, pain, and a little pinch of fear as well, but all that was irrelevant because my head hurt like hell and I was in cuffs. I was seeing double, and the voices all around me echoed as if they came from a cave.

"God, what am I high or something?..." I muttered to myself.

It didn't matter anymore, I was in a dark interrogation room, a spotlight was shoved directly in my face, blinding me to no end, and I was surrounded by 6 old men in robes, they seemed...familiar to me, but at the same time not really. My train of thought was cut off as one of them piped up among their chatter.

"Sanguine Carbide! You stand accused of inter-dimensional crimes against the Multiverse and it's inhabitants. How do you plead?!"

I looked the old geezer directly in his ancient, cobweb ridden face with a smug grin and said my piece.

"The fifth, your majesty." I said with amusement.

The old man found it...not so amusing as he slammed his wrinkly ass hand on the podium, to be honest, I'm surprised it didn't shatter like a dinner plate...

"SILENCE! Your cocky arrogance will be your undoing mercenary!" The man yelled."We are prepared to issue you your punishment posthaste, but universal law allows the defendant to defend his or her actions, now the question is, do you or do you not want to save your ass, because if you don't...we can make this end all the more sooner."

"Alright, alright!," I said. "fine, I'll do it."

"Very well." One of the men said,"how do you plead?"

I thought to myself veeerry carefully as to how I could bail myself out of this one.

"Alright, what to do...this is it, this is where it aaall comes down." I thought,"One screw-up and I'm finished."

I looked around the dimly lit room, feverishly trying to piece together a winning argument, after what felt like centuries I had sudden clarity, I smiled devilishly as the old men leaned in to listen to what I had to say. I took a deep breath and spoke.

"Uhhhhhhh...what am I in for again?..."

The old men all face palmed hard, except for one of them, who instead dropped to the floor dead.

"Ohhh my god, he killed Earl..." One of the men said.

"KILLED HIM?!" I said absurdly,"How could I have killed him, I've literally been sitting here the whole time!"

An onsite doctor appeared and took Earl's pulse.

"Yup, he's dead Jim." The doctor said,"killed by the sheer dumbassary of his comment."

"That's frickin' stupid." I said as I crossed my arms and leaned back in my chair.

"Urrggh great, now we have to hold auditions for a new board member, and then get him initiated, and blah blah blah thanks a lot Sanguine...for that." The judge called Jim complained.

"But to answer your question, you have been charged with countless crimes and offenses of the highest caliber on behalf of your former mercenary group...what were they called again...IMEC?"

"But what about the other members huh, why aren't they getting charged as well?" I said

"Well umm, you kinda...killed them all, sooo you're the last remaining member so we're prosecuting you instead!" Jim said."We're also adding Earl's untimely death to your already long list of charges too!"

"That's total bullcrap." I muttered to myself in disdain.

"Now that everything has been taken care of, on to your sentence!" Jim declared

"We, the Council of Universal Justice, find you, Sanguine Carbide, guilty of all charges. We will discuss your punishment now."

The five old men huddled together and murmured slightly as they discussed Sanguine's fate. They eventually disbanded and faced Sanguine once more.

"Sanguine,"Jim spoke,"We hearby BANISH you to an alternate universe to live your days for the next 10 years!"

"Pfffft," Sanguine remarked,"K then, what universe? Star Wars, Metroid, Lord of the Rings?"

No worse, we are sending you to the universe of-

MY LITTLE PONY

"AAAAH-wait, the original, or Friendship is Magic?" Sanguine asked

The old men huddled together once more, murmuring again only more urgently. They disbanded again with their answer.

"Uhhhh, Friendship is Magic..."Jim said

"Oh okay...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOO!" Sanguine screamed in utter horror

"Geez man, calm down," Jim said,"It's not that bad."

"NOT THAT BAD?!" Sanguine retorted with fury,"Do you realize what you're doing!? Anything I SAY or DO there will get written off as a hate crime against their beloved characters, and I will NEVER hear the end of it!"

"Well duh,"Jim said,"It's a PUN-ISH-MENT, it's not meant to be forgiving."

And with that, Jim mashed a big red button on his podium and a large wormhole to Equestria appeared at the far end of the room.

"Well, off with you!" Jim said carelessly as he waved Sanguine off.

A big burly Russian security officer with a name tag that said Boris appeared behind Sanguine and ushered him to the portal. As the two got to the entrance of the portal, Boris whipped out a key and undid the shackles that restricted Sanguine's powers, after that he gave Sanguine a good, hard shove through the portal. Sanguine landed ass first on a grassy knoll and looked back through.

"You can't just leave me here without anything." Sanguine pleaded

"Oh right," Jim said,"I almost forgot, BORIS!"

Jim snapped his bony old finger as Boris hauled a large duffel bag through the portal.

"Welp, have fun in Ponyville kiddo." Jim said as he laughed so hard, dust started flying out of his mouth.

"Kiddo?! I'm over 100,000 years old, I just look like I'm 21." Sanguine spat in defiance.

"Yeah, well I lost track of my age after one million." Jim retorted. "Alright guys, let's go watch that Friends marathon!"

"WOOOOOOOO!" The other old men cheered as they filed out of the room. The portal closed.

Sanguine looked around unsure of what to do or say. He was on a grassy hill, in the middle of the night, with a large duffel bag filled with god knows what, and worst of all, not knowing where he was in Equestria.

"Well shit."

Author's note:

Well, thus begins my new story in the world of My Little Pony, who would have thought that this would have happened, cause I sure as hell didn't, but I digress, anyways I will continue to try and update this story to the best of my ability, but work schedules get busy sometimes...so just be patient. Anyways I will see you all in the next chapter.

Yours as always,

TwoFatNinjas